Gender: Female
Age: 75
Sign:
Gemini
Signup Date:
December 08, 2020
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12/17/2022 11:25 PM
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Christine | Journal Entry
christinenovember 30th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx
I never thought I'd be writing this journal entry, because I honestly should've died five times and I didn't because of you, and now you're gone. I'm listening to Think About It over and over and my heart is shattered, I can't listen to Sisters of the Moon without crying. I feel so lost.
I woke up today in such a weird mood and I couldn't shake it why, even Thomas said he was feeling the same way, but I chalked it up to this time of year because you know how bittersweet this is for me. I knew you were sick, I found out right after I got back from London and I told Thomas that we were going to fly back because I needed to see you, I needed to tell you I love you and sing to you like we always did to each other. We were getting ready to leave tomorrow, and then your cousin called.
From the moment we met in 1975 until today when you took your last breath, my beautiful songbird, you were my absolute best friend. In a time when men dominated the music business, you and I took a band that had been around for years with a million lineup changes and pushed it to superstardom. Most people had to worry about people getting backstabbed by women in this business; the only one I didn't need to worry about was you.
Professionally and personally I owe you so much. You talked me off ledges you hid my drugs when I wanted to get high, and you held me as I cried so many times over so many different things. You let me join a band that only wanted my boyfriend at the time and became someone I couldn't live without. Even when you left the band after The Dance tour, I'd call you all the time and we'd talk for hours. You constantly told me to keep going when it came to recording and touring, and the day you rejoined the band again it was as if my heart was whole again. And now the chain that we said would never be broken is broken, and I don't know how to feel nor breathe without you.
My sister of the moon, my road wife, my soul sister, my sister from another mister like Thomas says, my best friend, the moon to my stars and the logic when I had none. The world is a lot less bright without you here, I don't think my mind will ever fully wrap around this. If I can be honest? I don't know if I'll ever be the same after this, because I've lost friends over the years, but you were more than a friend -- you were the sister I never had.
Tell everyone I said hello, tell Robin about all the things she missed, tell Sara the stories that you started telling her when I was pregnant with her. and make sure you're waiting by the gates when I arrive. I love you, my sister of the moon.
Stevie
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12/17/2022 11:23 PM
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moonlight romance
moonlight romance november 20th, 2022 Stevie has grown to hate today more and more as the years pass her by, her mind always going back to that faithful night while on tour back in 1997 that changed everything from that very moment to the present time. She always makes sure she's not doing a show this night, nor does she really have plans with anyone because she's borderline unbearable to be around. But, for some reason this year was worse than the others, Stevie not even being able to sleep the night before as the woman quickly slid out of bed and secluded herself in a dark back room of her home that she rarely goes into.
Responding to her husband through texts, eating the food, and drinking the beverages he brought to the door, Stevie sat on a chair as her hands dug through a few boxes that were packed away in a corner of the room. Some of them were things for Sara, others were different things throughout her life, her marriage to Lindsey, different album recordings, and things she'd found on the road over the years. While doing this, she lost a sense of time, and even where she was a few moments in the day, the blonde mourning so many different things at once that she almost had to remind herself to breathe.
Her phone going off snapped her out of her thoughts once more as she grabbed it, a brief and faint smile forming on her lips as she saw "Thomas" pop up with a message "Darlin', come out to the backyard, please? Just give me five minutes..."
Not saying a word, and debating even going out there, Stevie slowly got up from the chair she was sitting in and proceeded to walk out of the darkened room. Tom had been a wonderful husband today, taking care of her while still giving her the space he knew she was silently requesting, so the least she could do was give him the five minutes that he was requesting. Slipping on a pair of flip-flops that were by the back door, Stevie would look outside and see the firepit going as her husband was sitting near it waiting for her. Slowly opening the door and walking outside, she'd shut it behind her before turning around and once again looking at him. The way the moonlight was hitting his skin made him look like an angel, her angel, and Stevie would go through everything she's been through in life - including today and what it brought her - if it meant she got to be with him for the rest of her life.
"Mm, there's my darlin'...." the way he speaks so softly to her makes her instantly feel safe, the woman walking over and sitting on the bench beside him near the fire."It's not a campfire, because I know you won't go camping, but I figured you could use a moment to decompress.." his voice cut off as she saw him bring his right arm around, a joint and a lighter in his hand, before he'd hand both to her with a soft smile.
"So, why don't we smoke and just relax? You let out all the emotions that today brings for you and I'll be right here for whatever you need me to do - just like she's right here with you, too"
stephanie 'stevie' nicks-petty words - moonlight, campfire, smoke. - challenge by saving grace
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12/17/2022 11:16 PM
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the decline of love
the decline of love. january 26th, 2018 Stevie just couldn't take it anymore.
She was putting the decline in their friendship after the blowup and their breakup for the millionth time last year on the back burner for the sake of her band because she had her heart and soul hooked on the legacy that was Fleetwood Mac. Whether Stevie Nicks did another solo tour or not, her heart would always belong to her band - as she had always said it would be. But, after tonight's performance, after Lindsey threw Tom in her face because she was a ball of bittersweet feelings being here given Tom's death a few months prior and after years of letting sh*t roll off her shoulders, she just couldn't take it anymore.
It had to be her or him.
There was no more tolerating him and his behavior, there was no more pushing her feelings and emotions to the side for the sake of the band and having the best lineup in Fleetwood Mac history together. There was no more turning a blind eye when she sees Lindsey all over Kristen after laying in a bed with Stevie making love the night before. If anything, losing Tom a few months back proved to Stevie that time is precious, her time is precious, and she was sick and tired of always putting everything and everyone before her own happiness.
She finally had enough.
Her blood was boiling as she walked down the hallway after the performance to find the one person she could give this ultimatum to. Deep down she knew what the decision would lead to, she knew which way the choice was going to go because let's be honest here, Stevie Nicks is Fleetwood Mac.
Storming through the door as she'd quickly close the gap between her and Mick Fleetwood, she shook her head in disapproval and disgust as Mick was trying to defend Lindsey's actions by mocking her as she was doing her speech, Mick was defending Lindsey's affair with Stevie and him staying with Kristen as him just doing what was best for the band. Anytime any man in this band did anything, the other two jumped and defended them in a heartbeat and Stevie had enough.
"ENOUGH!" she screamed, Mick was even taken back by Stevie's sudden loudness, her quickly placing her right hand in Mick's face before narrowing her eyes at him. She was tired of this game with Lindsey, and she was about to put an end to it for good.
"It's him or me, Mick. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this placing peace for the band's sake. Tonight was the icing on the cake - it's him or me. I'm done" Stephanie 'stevie' nicks-petty three words: decline, hook, tolerate
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12/17/2022 10:53 PM
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in every lifetime | au drabble
in every lifetime november 20th, 1997.
au; does tom and stevie really find each other in every lifetime? "Miss Nicks?"
Stephanie turned her head, the canned vegetables in her hand as she heard a teenager's voice saying her name. Quickly realizing it was her student, Samantha, a junior at the high school she teaches, Stephanie flashed a brief smile before placing both cans in her cart. "Hey, here doing last-minute shopping for the holiday, too? Us working so hard on that country chorus number for next week put me so far behind in preparing for the holiday this week!"
"I know! My mom sent me to grab a few things while she takes my sister to our grandparents so we can prepare for her birthday tomorrow. But, I think we're truly prepared for the event next week. I hope you have a good holiday, Miss Nicks!"
Quickly saying their goodbyes, Stephanie would grab her cart and walked down the aisle she was currently in. Not paying attention as she was looking through her purse for the grocery list she wrote earlier this morning, a sudden bang of her cart colliding with another caught her off guard, the woman jerking her head up so quickly the glasses she had resting on her head all but fell off her head as the only reason they didn't crash to the floor was a man catching them as they fell.
"I - uh - I think these belong to you..." his southern drawl perked Stephanie's interest rather quickly, the blonde raising a left eyebrow before quickly realizing who the guy was. Seeing her principal showing around the new band teacher yesterday, Stephanie quickly realized she was standing in front of him and she couldn't help but let her eyes grow soft as she looked at him. His accent caught her off guard, but his eyes woke up something in her soul that she's never felt before - it was as if she had known him her entire life.
"Thank you...I'm - uh, I'm..."
"Miss Nicks, right?" Stephanie chuckled softly, nervously grabbing the glasses out of his hand as their hands briefly touch, the blonde feeling a warmness throughout her soul that she's never experienced before. Closing her eyes slightly, she felt a connection with the man in front of her that she's never experienced, almost as if they had been old souls looking for each other. Stephanie couldn't explain it, but there was just something about this man that made her feel at home like she had been looking for him for her entire life.
"Stephanie, the students call me Miss Nicks. But, what can I call you?"
"They call me Mister Petty, my parents usually call me Thomas, but my friends call me Tom"
"So, I can call you Tommy?" God, the way she was flirting so terribly with him was disgusting, but the smile he gave her made her mind go blank. That smile, she's seen that smile before in her dreams, but she always felt her dreams were flashbacks to her past lives because of how she felt when she woke up from them. She's had dreams of doing many different things, a housewife, a rockstar, a woman of royalty, and a million things in between, but that smile that he just gave her was the smile she saw on the man she was with in every single dream she had.
"You can call me Tommy if you let me take you on a date tonight" Stephanie couldn't help but let a girlish giggle escape her lips, nodding her head before slowly leaning up to close the gap between their faces. Her eyes grew soft the longer she let her stare linger, his beautiful blue eyes bringing her a sense of peace that she's never been able to experience, she only wrote about it in the journal entries and poems she's written over the years. Knowing what she wanted to do was insanity, but deciding to do it anyway, Stephanie would lean up and place a quick kiss on his lips, pulling away as a soft smile formed on her lips. Stephanie couldn't explain it, nor would she even try to, but she just knew this was the man she had seen in the dreams of her past lives, this was the man that she's found so many times before, and once again they found each other and her soul feels whole again. And, by the way, he was looking at her the moment she pulled away from him, he had the same feeling about her as she did him.
"I've been waiting for you to ask me to dinner again...."
"I told you I'd find you, darlin'...."
Stephanie 'stevie' nicks=petty "I'll always run to you"
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12/17/2022 10:52 PM
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entry twenty four - tommy
tommynovember 19th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx
Tonight makes our second to last night in London, and in an odd way I feel like this trip brought us closure for what happened five years ago, but also brought us closer as a couple and helped us grow as individuals.
In the last few days, I fell in love with this man all over again like we were back in 1981. We were able to just stop and not be rockstars and not have to handle the world, we were able to just ignore everything and everyone in our little hotel suite and feel like we were in our 30s again. For a few days, we weren't rockstars in our mid-70s, we were a married couple that felt like they had been together from the moment they met and they were on their honeymoon.
Hyde Park was interesting and a bit intense, neither one of us had been there since what happened and I think we both were scared to go there because of obviously what happened. At the end of the day though, we went and he felt better afterward, he even sang Room at the Top, and my heart melted for a totally different reason this time.
I feel I could have a book just on how I love this man, how I am so grateful for his undying love after all these years, after everything we've been through both professionally and personally. I could write a million words to describe our love, but it's one of the very few things in my life I've never been able to actually express. My mama always said the best feelings in the world you can't describe and there are only three I can't describe. Being a mother, even if they're not biologically mine, being on stage, and being Tom Petty's wife. I pray everyone experiences a love like this in their life -- and that they don't have to wait a lifetime for it as I did.
I guess I'll end it here for now, I plan on enjoying the last little bit of time we have left here before we go back to the chaos of our lives and the holidays.
Stevie
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12/03/2022 10:20 PM
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It Could Be Worse
it could be worse prompt: "everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues. it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie peeked over her glasses at Kay as she sat at the kitchen table reading some emails on her laptop. Kay barged in here a few minutes ago yelling and complaining about how she's sick of the paparazzi following her around given who her biological father and adoptive mother are, but Stevie couldn't exactly blame them given Kay has a habit of letting her mouth get the best of her when it comes to some situations involving the paparazzi -- and people in general.
"These f***ing a**holes want to watch every goddamn drink I have at the bar and wonder if I'm going to get a DUI as Lindsey did ages ago when I'm nothing like him. I don't have f***ing daddy issues!"
Stevie would slowly reach up to take her glasses off her face before slowly shaking her head, a lighthearted chuckle escaping her lips. "You know, Kay, everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues, it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie pointed out, grabbing her bottle of water that was sitting beside her laptop as she opened it to take a sip. "Let them talk sh*t and watch you, why does it matter? It's not like you have a reoccurring drug problem like your father had, or a raging drinking problem. it's just a few shots. Let people talk and stop worrying about them, alright?"
"So, ma? You say everyone has daddy issues, right?" Stevie would slowly nod, once again placing the bottle of water up to her lips to take a sip. Before she was able to swallow it, Stevie would jerk her head to the right to spit it all over the floor at Kay's comment, the blonde choking on the air that was in her throat as Kay couldn't help but start laughing so hard she was crying at her question.
"Is that why you always call Tom Daddy when you guys are f***ing? I heard it the last time I was here"
Prompt for PR Bunny
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12/03/2022 10:14 PM
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Lips of an Angel
lips of an angel october 20th, 2006; highway companion tour with tom petty and the heartbrekers. S
tevie should've been with him. Instead of sitting alone in her own bus, she should be with him. After all, it is his birthday after all, and their plans got pushed to the side at the last minute due to his wife flying out to surprise him. She might have most of the band food, maybe even Mike included, but not Stevie. This isn't one of them she's in love with him and is jealous his wife has him in situations like it complicatedly is with Lindsey - oh no. She knew Dana Petty wanted nothing but his money and all Stevie wanted was him, - all Stevie ever wanted was just him.
Placing the empty wine glass down on a table, her fourth half glass since she got on her bus, Stevie would finish rolling her joint before placing it between her lips to light it. Letting the familiar sensation of mary jane slowly hit her lungs, she'd hold it deep in her chest while pouring herself another glass of wine. She wanted to call him. Well, actually, she wanted to make love to him until they arrived in Indian Wells, California, and pretend nothing else existed. Her complicated relationship with Lindsey Buckingham didn't exist, his marriage to Dana Petty didn't exist, it was just her and him -- how it should've always been.
Finally deciding to throw caution to the wind, Stevie would exhale the smoke that was resting in her lungs as she'd grab her phone before finding his name in her contacts and looking at it highlighted for a few moments. Shaking her head, she'd quickly hit call and place it up to her ear while every ring felt like a lifetime. Hearing his slight yawn before his southern accent came out as he said her name, Stevie felt instantly turned on and alone, and the fact he could equally wake up sexual desires she hasn't felt in years and make her feel so in love, yet so alone and heartbroken, shows how much she loves him - how much she's always loved him.
"Mmh, Steph, darlin'. Why are you callin' me so late? What's wrong, honey? Dana's in the next room, and f***, darlin', I wish she was you"
She knew the risk when she signed up to do this tour with him and the band, she knew the risk that was going to be involved with constantly being around him again. Either she was going to be okay and be alright with just being friends or the feelings she'd suppressed deep within her heart and soul since that night a few years ago after he got out of rehab. She was walking a thin line, and she knew it, but she couldn't help it when it came to him.
"It's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet..."
"Steph, have you been drinking? Don't lie to me, I know you..."
"If you wish she was me, then come here, baby. You know, deep down, we never really moved on..."
Her speech was slightly slurred, nothing that he wasn't used to when it came to how she could sometimes drink when the voices in the back of her head got the best of her. The way just hearing him drove her wild, but at the same time, it made her just crave seeing him, just to feel his arms around her, even if it was only for a night.
"Steph, darlin', I gotta go.."
"Don't, I never want to say goodbye. We've never been faithful to anyone besides each other, please don't start now."
"Stephanie..."
"Thomas. Please. Just give me your birthday, give me tonight. Mike will cover, you know he will. I got wine and weed, all I need is you..."
Stevie got hope as she heard some noise in the background, that southern chuckle escaping his lips as she knew one thing - she was getting what she wanted.
"You know, darlin', With the way your lips feel so angelic whenever I kiss them, you make it hard to be faithful. I'm on my way, my sweet girl."
"I'll be waiting, baby boy. Happy birthday, my love" it's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet.
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12/03/2022 10:04 PM
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a little bit of this | journal entry.
a little bit of this...november 3rd, 2022 www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx
It's not that I forget to write about this lately, it's just that life has been so good that I've been experiencing and living in the moment instead of just writing about it.
Tommy's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and we had a small celebration at home between show dates it was just nice. The girls were here, Will was able to briefly call from rehab and we cooked out and just relaxed. Even at a time when he and I are so busy with the tour and everything else, we could just sit and relax and enjoy the little things.
Amethyst got engaged and I couldn't be happier for her and Mark! He really brings out the best in her, and vice versa and the fact they are going to get married warms my heart. I always wish for everyone in the world to have a love like Thomas and me, except without all the bullsh*t we went through to get where we are now, and Amethyst and Mark have that.
Finally got around to announcing the tour with Billy Joel, Karen suggested just announcing the show in Texas to see how fans felt about it before announcing the other two shows and the fans jumped all over it. Doing this with Billy is going to be interesting, it's been a while since I've really shared the stage with anyone while being on my own...I mean, besides Thomas when we're doing our songs while on tour.
The actual tour is almost over, at this point I'm just making up shows I missed due to having the flu and that's rather bittersweet. Even though I'm going to keep working due to the tour with Billy, that retirement thing is still in the back of my mind. I missed Everly trick-or-treating the other evening due to a show, and where Thomas did rather well sending me pictures and videos, I still wanted to be there. It's just something else I missed due to my career, and suddenly it's bothering me more than it used to.
Maybe this is my true midlife crisis? Lord only knows.
Stevie.
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12/03/2022 09:52 PM
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london | journal entry
londonnovember 15th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goodessofrockx
I sit here as the man I love sleeps beside me knowing damn well what tomorrow will bring. He's avoided Hyde Park, as have I, until tomorrow when we both go there as a married couple to try to truly heal from him almost dying a few years ago.
And the anxiety is keeping me wide awake.
It was my idea to do this before the holidays and before I start working on my tour with Billy to come here, maybe to help the nightmares stop and for it to click in my head that he's not dead, he's alive and here with me. But now that we're here and we're going tomorrow? I can barely think because I'm so anxious, so I can only imagine how he's holding up.
I asked him to sing Room at the Top to me, and he said he would, but is he going to even be able to? Am I being incredibly selfish for even doing this? After all, I have more nightmares about that than he does - am I? I don't know, when it comes to this I feel there's so much of my husband I don't know and that bothers me so bad I could honestly cry.
Hopefully, this does healing instead of ruining everything that we built up. Or worse, he tries something again, because Lord knows I couldn't handle losing him, not after everything..
Stevie
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12/03/2022 09:31 PM
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scary memories | journal entry.
scary memoriesnovember 11th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx
Today's Veteran's Day, and this day reminds me ever year to go visit a veteran's hospital, and today I did in Phoenix and I sang Solder's Angel, something I do every year when I visit and it reminds me why I'm here on this Earth. Most know they're here for a reason or two and I can never figure it out, but today reminded me I'm here to help people heal through my songs and I feel that Solder's Angel is one of them songs.
Tommy and I are planning a trip to London before I start rehearsals for my tour with Billy Joel to go to Hyde Park, and I'm a bit...scared to say the least. I know he's not on anything, he's reassured me more than once and I do trust him after all. But, going back there after not being there since the show in 2017 where he sang Room at the Top to me is a bit.. nerve-wracking to say the least.
I'm the one who came up with the idea both as a healing thing and a trip us two can go on together as a couple, but I don't know. I don't want to say I have reserves about going, because I do believe going will help him heal after him almost dying there, but at the same time I can't help but to think he'll get something while we're in London. Like, I know he won't, but my anxiety? My anxiety tells me he will and he'll chase it with vodka like he did that day.
I want him to sing Room at the Top to me while we're there, too, because in an odd way it's such a romantic song once you get past through the heartbreak. At the same time, whenever I have nightmares of that day where he almost died, him looking at me as he sang to please love him, he wasn't so bad and he loved me so is engraved deep within my memories. Maybe it'll help the nightmares go away?
Or it'll make them worse, and I don't know if it's worth the risk, or even if he'd do it.
I guess this trip to be London will be very interesting...
Stevie
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