birthdays and halloweenOctober 20th, 2023www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx October is a bittersweet month for me for a multitude of reasons, but it's still my favorite time of the year for two reasons. Tommy's birthday and Halloween, that's my favorite day of the year as everyone knows.
But this husband of mine, this beautiful husband of mine decides to spend the day talking about the Heartbreakers re-release of "Mojo" instead of letting me talk about his birthday. I know he isn't a huge fan of it, which I get it's for a few reasons, but he can't seem to get it through his beautiful but thick skull that it's a big deal to me -- because he shouldn't be here to celebrate it.
Maybe, just maybe, the plans I have this weekend will lighten the mood and his hatred for his birthday.
Or, he's going to be the death of me because we can't decide what to wear to Mike's annual Halloween party. I say he should be Michaels Myers and I'll be Laurie Strode, which everyone knows their siblings but I love that movie so I can't help it, but then I'm wondering if Chucky and Tiffany would be a good pairing too. But, am I too old for that?
Wait, why does it matter? I never gave a sh*t about my age before, so why should I start with a Halloween costume??
This is why I try to let him decide on costumes because I have a million and one ideas and what does he pick? Mad Hatter and Alice, which we've done quite a few times. Given, that one was for the release party of The Other Side of the Mirror, it still counts because it was a costume party. But, at the same time, if I wait for him to decide, I'll have to go as myself, and Halloween is the one day of year I can be anyone but myself.
But, that's a problem for Monday me, this weekend is all about Tommy and celebrating his birthday, even if he's going to complain about it all weekend. I just want to remind him how much I love him, because my actions speak louder than songs and words ever could in my eyes
The last thing Stevie Nicks remembered was lifting her head up off the table as the dollar bill fell out of her hands and hit the floor beside her. What was described by her boyfriend, Jimmy, as the best line she'd ever hit, Stevie woke up laying on a floor that felt as if she was laying on slime. Slowly standing up, she looked around through the darkness as her eyes adjusted to the area she was in.
There was no way she was still in her home.
"Jimmy? Mick? Anyone?" Stevie looked around before slowly lifting her legs up, the platform shoes on her feet briefly being stuck to the ground she was standing on. Was this new type of white powder something that Jimmy was using to try to kill her? Or give her a high that would never be matched? Stevie was having issues with writing, well in her eyes, and he said he would help in any way possible, but was this what he was talking about?
She heard about drugs making people seem as if they were in different worlds back during Woodstock back in 1969, but there was no way something could make feeling as if you were in another world look so realistic. Was there? There was something that didn't feel right, deep in Stevie's soul she felt that this was something no one would believe if she told her.
There was no way she was in Indianapolis anymore.
Hearing some muffled yells, Stevie raised an eyebrow before trying to look through the darkness. Every horror movie she's ever seen said not to follow the yells, not to follow anywhere that you have no idea where it leads, but how can she follow the rules of horror movies if she has absolutely no idea in hell where she is?
Stevie took a deep breath before she slowly walked down a dark hallway, looking around at every inch she could to try to figure out what was on the walls. Why did it look like slime-coated tree vines? There was no way this was from the cocaine, but the problem was she had no idea what this could be from. Or, was this her new reality?
"Hello?" the yelling seemed as if it was getting closer, Stevie started to jog the best her platform boots would let her, gripping the sides of the dress she had on so she didn't fall face first into whatever was lying on this disgusting floor. "Can anyone hear me?!" she yelled loudly, coming to a screeching halt as she'd almost run into the back of some guy, Stevie backing up a few steps as he turned around with a baseball bat in his hand. "Whoa, wait, I ha --"
"You're Stevie Nicks!"
"Yeah, no sh*t. Uh, where are we? And who in the hell are you?"
"You're in the upside down an --""Upside what?" "You're in the upside down. Holy sh*t, you're Stevie Nicks, my friend Robin lov --"
"Can you get me the f*** out of here? I have a show in Indianapolis soon."
"Indianapolis? We're in Hawkins. Come on, I'll explain later. My name's Steve. Steve Harrington. Holy sh*t. I just saved Stevie Nicks."
bittersweetoctober 19th, 2023 note. this is canon and doesn't follow my storylinewww.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx Life is amazing right now, you know? I have a Barbie doll coming out next month, I'm dead in the middle of two different tours, one with someone like Billy Joel who's an absolute treasure to work with and watch perform every night we're in the same city. My box set has been well received and I'm truly debating releasing the last three albums on vinyl just for the fans who didn't want to get the whole box set due to having the previous ones on vinyl.
Will and Krissy got married, and although I wasn't there it seems as if no one was there and that's something they needed. They both just needed to get their sh*t together and realize they've loved each other since the moment they met so many years ago. I fully believe Will and Krissy are just Lindsey and I had him and I not moved to Southern California and just stayed where we were so many years prior, but I'd probably be a retired school teacher at this point over still doing a tour at my age. Besides, I wouldn't have been through some of the best - and worst - times of my life had we not moved.
All these things that are going on and you're the only one I want to call. It's bittersweet
Tomorrow is your birthday, your sixth one since you've been gone, and my soul feels as if it was the first year all over again. I still go to call you, call to tell you every little bad and good thing that was going on. Whenever I try to write and I can't, I want to call you so you can remind me as you have so many times over the years, but I can't. Instead, I sit at a desk writing this entry while "That Made Me Stronger" plays on repeat. You know the song, the one I wrote about you but never included your name because I knew you wouldn't want that.
God, I miss you. I've been having the ring on lately, the one you gave me during the Highway Companion tour, the promise ring that someday we'd be together. That someday might be in our next life, but I'm holding you to it.
Happy early birthday, Tom. I miss you. I love you.
note. this is totally canon and not following my au storyline at all. so enjoy.
october second is a day that she hated, where stevie nicks would just lay in bed and not do a thing. a day that she'd call her best friend six thousand times a day so that she didn't feel so alone. she couldn't dare be around anyone else, to the point where she wouldn't even let her assistant, karen, into her home because the thought of anyone seeing her in a state she was in was blasphemy..
except this year? this year she didn't have her best friend to call. she didn't have the one person that seen her at her absolute worst multiple times and still decided to stay with her after all of them. the year was full of many firsts for stevie without her best friend by her side, but she didn't think about how hard today would be, how hard the death date of losing the love of her life -- even if they hadn't spoken since the hyde park incident a few months prior to his death -- would be
for the first time in her life, stevie nicks was truly aloneand she didn't know how to she was going to handle it.
she wasn't, deep down she had lindsey's children, tom's girls, karen and her own friends and family, but no one could understand where she was coming from when it came to how she mourned tom for the last six years. no one besides christine mcvie, the one person that knows everything that happened between them for numerous years. christine was the only one who knew about the kiss after the recording of 'i will run to you', the only one who knew about their entire affair during the recording of wildflowers and the aftermath of what stevie did after they broke up during that.
christine was the only one who knew about everything during the recording of echo where stevie was begging tom to go to rehab, she was the only one who knew about their affair during the highway companion tour when they co-headlined together. christine was the one that told stevie six year.s ago today that tom was gone, before she saw it on the news.
she couldn't handle being alone, she needed something to make some noise before she lost her mind.
a heavy sigh escaped her lips as stevie forced herself to climb out of bed, walking over to her radio to turn it on. where most used spotify and apple music to listen to music, stevie uses the good ol' radio because they play the classics. as soon as the music started coming through the speakers, she felt a lump in her throat form to where it felt like she was going to choke on the air that was attempting to escape her lips.
i'm learning to fly, around the clouds but what goes up (learning to fly) must come down
walking back over to her bed before climbing back into it, she'd slide back underneath her blanket before pulling it up to her chest. silent sobs escaped her lips as she reached over to her dresser to grab her phone, quickly unlocking it before highlighting christine's name. as she went to click call, she remembered that she was gone, too.
stevie nicks was alone with emotions that she didn't know how she could process, because she barely could get through life without the two most important people in her life. and days like today? when people are posting 'in memory' posts about the lead singer of a rock and roll hall of fame band, stevie just wants the man she loves back in her life and her best friend only a phone call away
THE REUNIONnight before the first day for say you willjanuary 27th, 2002 Fifteen years. It's been fifteen years since we recorded Tango in the Night. It's been almost four since the last tour we all did together, not that I want to remember any of that; the nightmares are more than enough. And, although my personal feelings for Lindsey are something where I equally want to kiss him and take my platform boot and smash it in his face, the band deserves one more album. And, once again, I put the band before my own personal feelings and decide to do another album.
But, then Christine said she was staying in England and she wasn't going to do it with us and suddenly I felt as if I made a mistake. I'm going into this with a band of boys and, for the first time since I joined Fleetwood Mac, I'm all alone.
It's been almost four years since The Dance Tour, but it's only been about four years. Almost four years ago I had my dream, my band, my man, and a baby on the way. And then it all came crashing down in a way that I never thought possible, a way that I don't know if I'll ever fully heal from, and I have to face the man who caused so much of it to come crashing down and pretend as if everything's okay.
But alas, no pun intended, the show must go on.
So, here I am sitting Indian style in my bed with my life packed, everything I feel I'll need to finish this album that the band has already started while I finished my tour. Sula is pretty excited to see everyone, especially Lindsey because that's her daddy -- no matter what goes on between him and me given he was with me when I got Sula.
Time to once again suppress my feelings and emotions for a man I've loved since I was seventeen and do what I do best - put my feelings into songs. Maybe I'll find part of myself that died a few years ago recording this album. Time to finish writing the songs I want to present tomorrow, maybe it'll work in my favor -- or maybe I'll be making another big mistake in the long list of mistakes I've made while being a part of this band.
Stevie Nicks might've been a worldwide known rock star, a woman who broke barriers for years within the business, and someone who - even at seventy-five - can bring sixty thousand people together to sing a song she wrote on a whim over forty years ago. But, she's also a fan - a big one of some - and she still can't wrap her mind around a single show with Billy Joel turned into a whole tour that she's beyond grateful for even being able to do.
Because of this, after her set, she went and changed out of her usual stage gear and took off the shoes that made her feet ache on stage and changed into a pair of slip-ons. Getting out of her all-black outfit, and throwing on a pair of loose pants and a sweatshirt due to the weather in Philadelphia being chilly, yet grateful it didn't thunderstorm. Hanging out in the wings on the side while watching Billy do his set, she felt arms wrap around her waist about an hour in before a familiar beard tickled the left side of her face.
"Mmh, darlin', I was wondering where you got to..."
"I always watch his set, I'm in such awe of him and that takes a lot for me to say." her voice paused while her hands came to rest on top of his, her body relaxing in his embrace while she leaned back against her husband. "It means a lot you flew out here for tonight, especially because I know you're helping Michael with the band's new album"
"It's Philadelphia, Steph. I wouldn't miss being here with you for the world"
And that's where they stood, as husband and wife more than being rockstars known as Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty. As the sun set and darkness filled the sky while the party continued within the walls of Lincoln Financial Field, at the end of every song her husband asked like a little child. "Darlin', when is he doing 'You May Be Right' And, after every song, she would tell him that was coming and he had to wait patiently
However, Tom Petty's strong suit is not having patience.
By the time the opening chords of "Big Shot" came on, an annoyed groan echoed in her ears while a sly smirk formed on her face. "Steph, darlin'. You told me he closes with Big Shot, and he hasn't done the one song you said you'd mention to him about doing tonight..." "The show's not over until the curtain call, my love. Just wait.."
Singing along with what seemed as if it was the last song, she once again heard her husband's groan before the starting beat to the one song that he wanted Billy to sing. Feeling him pull away, he'd gently spin her around as he started singing the song directly to her. After all these years and everything they've been through, both as individuals, a couple, and just friends, the way he can still make her heart skip a beat and make her feel like the only woman in the world is something remarkable to her. She's never been a rockstar to him, she's always just been Stephanie.
"Darlin, do you know why this song makes me think of you?" his voice was soothing as they danced, a laugh escaping her lips while he sang the words while she waited for his answer. "Because I think you're right, I might be crazy" she'd laugh before playfully pulling away and slapping his chest before her hands came to rest on his pecs, leaning up to place a soft kiss on his lips.
"Well, luckily for you I know I'm right and that you're crazy, but at least I love your type of crazy"
philadelphiajune 16th, 2023www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx The city of brotherly love means the world to me, and I'm sitting in my hotel writing in this journal to explain why, but I guess let's make note of the other things first.
Rhino finally put out the box set we finished working on months ago, well to preorder, but I don't quite understand why the 16 LP is limited to 3000 copies, I wonder if I can convince them to make it more? The fans have been begging for my last three albums to be released on vinyl, so I guess this is a good way to do it. I'm glad I got to hand-pick the demos and b-side songs that I wanted to have on there, and finally being able to release a recording of "One More Big Time Rock and Roll Star" means a lot to me. Maybe I should switch out a song and play it tomorrow.
I love Philadelphia, it holds a special place in my heart for a few reasons. I don't get to come here often, especially in an open stadium and it's actually rather nice out. But, besides that, many, many years ago, it was the city where Tommy and I first hooked up after he got out of rehab. God, I remember the day as if it was yesterday, the way we were joking around and laughing, I forget what I said and he was all "Shut up, Steph" in that cute little accent he has and I said for him to make me -- the rest is history.
Taking a few days off and then coming back to do this is nice, I'm rather excited and Philadelphia has never let me down when it comes to being excited throughout the entire show. I'm sitting here looking at the setlist beside my journal and debating switching things around, but of course, I'll change my mind a million times before tomorrow night, and thank god my band is used to that.stevie
saraMay 17th, 2023www.roleplayer.me/goodessofrockx I've been writing the same journal entry for twenty-five years, and it's never gotten easier. If anything, in a way, I think it's gotten harder.
I find myself more, as years pass, thinking about what you'd be like, who would've you have grown up to be. Would you have followed your father and I's journey into the music industry? Or, would you maybe have done more behind the scenes like your father loves? Hell, maybe you would've been that school teacher I was going to be before I joined your father all those years ago. Whatever you would've ended up doing with your life, I know damn well that you would've been perfect at doing it.
I wonder if you would've settled down and had a family, or been like your mama and be married to your career. I'd hope you'd find a mixture of both, and find a way to have a career and a family. I wonder if your kids would be like you or if they'd be like the person you loved. Hell, maybe you wouldn't want kids for years like I didn't, but God I was so glad to have you.
I wonder if you'd get along with your brother and all these sisters you have, one brother and five sisters between your father, stepfather, and I. I know you'd get along with them all great because they're all great kids. But, I know you know all of this. I know I write the same things every year in these entries, I know it can get repetitive.
I did, however, start singing Sara on this tour because I knew your birthday was coming and it would've been a big one. I don't know what made me fully decide on it when I was doing the setlist, but I'm glad I did because I feel you with me everytime I sing it.
Happy birthday, my sweet and precious angel. I love you more than you will ever know. I'll hug you in my dreams tonight and sing happy birthday to you -- I promsie.stevie
prompt for visionary: "you had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so i can fix it"
november 27th, 2020
As the grandfather clock rang in their living room at the top of the hour - three am - Stevie sat up from her dead sleep as if she had been shaken awake by the afterlife before quickly shaking Lindsey's arm in a panic. "Linds? Lindsey. Wake up, please..." her voice cracked as she spoke, and it wasn't until she heard a soft groan that her anxiety finally started to subside.
"Stephanie, baby what's wrong?" "I had a nightmare..." she curled up into his side as soon as he moved his arm so she could, her hand gripping the fabric of his sleeping shirt tightly before burying her head in his chest. The familiar sound of his heartbeat - ironically - was something that was slowly calming her down while realizing that it was just a nightmare and it wasn't a reality.
"You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it"
Stevie shook her head a few times before gripping his shirt tighter. If she came out and actually said her nightmare, would it make it real? Would everything suddenly happen and what she's been waiting most of her life for would fall apart in her hands?
"Stephanie, baby talk to me.." "your heart attack..."
her usually booming voice was barely above a whisper, Stevie pulled her head out of his chest to look at him with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes briefly scanned the features of his face as if it was going to be the last time she saw them. Releasing his shirt from her grasp, Stevie would slide her arm up so her hand could gently rest on his face. Her thumb ran over her cheeks while a heavy sigh escaped from between her lips.
"Hey, baby. I'm not planning on going anywhere, alright? That -- that was a freak accident, but the point is I'm still alive and well. Besides, I had to find you again..." the way he was so soft with her compared to how he spoke to most people truly melted her heart and soul, her body slowly easing up as she slid her hand off his face so her arm could loosely lay around his side. "Go back to sleep, alright? We have a long day with the kids tomorrow, and Starbucks isn't open until seven"
never the right time..december 6th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx My heart hurts, it's heavy, and I want to wake up.
Upon opening my journal to write today on the plane ride to London for Christine, I found an old picture of the band tucked through the pages and I don't know how it got there because I know it hasn't been there in quite some time. I took a picture and posted it on Instagram because I knew the fanbase is hurting because she was one of the hearts and souls of this band. She was the one who made the blues sound fantastic, and I'm trying to bring them some comfort in the darkness.
But, I miss my best friend.
Christine used to always say "Stevie, you always end up getting yourself in some unique situations, doll" And she wasn't wrong, but being on a plane with my ex-husband and my current one tops the list I would say. I called Lindsey about Christine because he deserved to know, both as someone who used to be in Fleetwood Mac, and someone who Christine always said was her soul brother. The way they two musically were soulmates was one thing, but the friendship that went far beyond the band and lasted through solo careers and leaving the band altogether was something that was truly once in a lifetime for both of them. Through that, we talked about some things and although I'll never fully forgive him for a lot - including bringing Sara up the way he did the night I said I was filing for divorce - he still was one of her closest friends, so he deserved to know. And, in a way, having him go with Tom and me is a bit...confronting? I don't know.
And my husband, Oh God has that man been a saint since this happened, since I've been going through so many damn emotions that I don't know how to handle without resorting back to old habits. I've lost friends over the last few years, it happens when you're my age, but this was the last one I was expecting.
The last time I was here it was to help Tom kind've come to terms with what happened in 2017 and help us move on from it. But this time? It's to say goodbye to someone I thought would be saying goodbye to me first. Christine, I saw the moonlight shine bright last night through my bedroom window - I know you're with us. I just wish you were here with us. I'm not supposed to be saying goodbye, you were supposed to fly over for Christmas and you were debating a small tour for Songbird and now...f***, this isn't fair. It should've been me, and Tom and Lindsey both said I need to stop saying that but it's true. I'm the one who ran a marathon with death for years, yet you go first? It's bullsh*t, this is bullsh*t, and honestly? I'll say to my dying day it should've been me first - because it should've,Stevie
