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To My Babies.
To my babies.
You guys sit here and shower me with so much love, remind me everyday how I mean the world to you guys, but the way you guys overdid yourselves this weekend, f***. The way I feel so loved and appreciated because of you three melts my heart because you three give me something I never thought I would have. You three give me a reason not to sit in my room and smoke joint after joint on this day, not to drive a whole fifth of vodka and just mourn. You three make me laugh until I'm crying, you three might have your own lives, your careers, but everytime you come home I still see the same little kids that I remember your father bringing over because they wanted to see Auntie Stevie
Do you guys want the truth? Your father saved me from the drugs and the Klonopin back in the day, but you three saved me from myself.
Will - We had it the roughest I feel like because you saw the most, you got most of my anger from your father having a child with someone who wasn't me, the fact he stayed with Kristen after The Dance, the fact he even got with her in the first place. But, honestly? If he had stayed with me, would you kids have been here? As I've gotten older I don't think I would change it because I don't want to risk you guys not being here. You stepped up so much when your dad's drinking got so bad and they argued so much. You hated coming here for the longest time, but you always came with Lee and Stella because they wanted you to, you always called for me to come to get you guys in the middle of the night and I know you did because they wanted you to. As you grew up into the wonderful man I know today our relationship grew, and I remember us sitting outside when you were about fifteen. Your father was on one of his binges and you kids came here. We sat outside, passed a joint between us [sorry, Lindsey, at least their first time was with me - and everytime since], and just laid everything out. I talked to you like the adult you were and you admitted you finally seen how Kristen was. You admitted you remember everytime I dropped everything and rushed to anything for you kids - and I still do - and I forever will From one artist to another I am so proud of you for everything you've accomplished so far, and even though we're in different genres I am glad the future of this business is in the hands of kids like you, like Casey. But, as your mother? Words couldn't describe how proud I am, how all the sleepless nights and sneaking your father's guitars to you [Not sorry for that one, Lindsey]. Flying across the country for a show just to fly right back for my own, ditching award shows for me to go to the ones for you...and I'd do it all again. I love you, my son, and besides your father, you're the only man in that inner part of my heart I closed off for the world.
LeeLee - My little dork, my little karaoke singing rockstar who just stays out of the limelight, my shopping buddy who will drop everything and bring me donuts whenever we want them. I was grateful Kristen mellowed out a bit by the time you were born when it came to me seeing you and your brother, and I know things were weird for you when you were a child. Your father and I were dead in the middle of rekindling our love, our affair, and you're the one who always seemed to be the one to catch us doing absolutely anything, and I know it was confusing for you because Daddy was kissing Auntie Stevie -- and doing other things with her. But, you never treated me differently for it, and when your friends would freak about who your Auntie was you were always "It's just Stevie". The way I've watched you grown into a wonderful young woman who puts up with nobody's sh*t melts me, the way you always call me about anything and everything melts my heart and soul. I love you so much, baby, and just like I dropped everything to be at the opening of your bar, I will drop everything and anything for you anytime.
Stella - You, you got the worst of Kristen's wrath because you are so much like me. You have an old soul and have a love for the things I do. You were the one who I always had to get off stage for us to do our soundcheck because you were busy fixing the ribbons on my guitar. I remember the first time I held you I felt a different connection with you than I've felt with literally anyone in this world. Kristen was the worst to you because she knew it would get to me the most, and I know she had it beat in your head that the only reason I loved you so much was that you replaced Sara in my eyes and that was so far from the truth. The way I've watched you grow up into a woman who will tell anyone how it is, how you protect anyone you love, how you love as you've never been hurt. You and I have had conversations about things no one will ever know besides each other, and I feel so honored to know you on the level that I do. I love you endlessly, my little gypsy. As long as you live and breathe, Stevie Nicks will never die.
Krissy - You get included in this, too, because you're practically my third daughter. You came into a family at a very interesting time, I know you and Will have known each other for years. I know about 'the road' and everything including with that - it's partly why I always said you and Will were Lindsey and myself. Recent events I feel have bonded us together in a way I don't think anything will rip us apart, and I can't wait to watch the life you and Will are going to build. Thank you for loving my son like you do, for loving his sisters as you do, and just realizing Lindsey and I aren't going to let you go.
Sara - Everyday I wonder what you'd be like, how you'd walk this earth and if you'd be more like your father or myself. I miss you, I love you, and I know you gave me them and your father back so I'd find a purpose again. Until we see each other again, my precious little angel, I love you endlessly
Also, my dear Lindsey, you're the reason I have my babies, biological or not, and I can never thank you enough for letting them be a part of their lives, for letting me love them as I do, for letting me pick them up whenever I wanted to or whenever they wanted to come over. For letting me sneak into the talent shows, for letting me take them to their modeling gigs and opening nights for bars. For understanding, I wasn't trying to replace Kristen it just happened. For letting us come full circle and having the family we used to talk about during Buckingham Nicks. I love you.
Thank you guys for today, for everyday, and for letting me be your mama and wife - it's absolutely my favorite job in the world. If Fleetwood Mac never played together again, if I never zipped up the platform boots and walked out into my velvet underground I'd still enjoy the best things in life because I have you guys.
Love always,
Mama.
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