RolePlayer.me

Today my father decided that we would do something together as father and son. Surprised, I immediately agreed and I asked him if he had any ideas for an activity. He said he wanted to go fishing. Once again I was surprised, for in all my life he had never expressed such an interest. So, we packed some things and headed to the holodeck for our fishing trip. Only a few hours into it, and I don't think this was quite the excursion my father had in mind...."This is boring." James muttered."Hmm?" Ben asked, looking up from his fishing rod. They had been sitting out on the lake for quite some time now, the serene calm only intermittently interrupted by the sound of a frog or other lake wild life in the area."Oh nothing, nothing," James said, taking his eyes from the skies and dismally returning them to the water. Two hours. They had been out on the water for nearly two hours and not one fish caught. Their boat was empty, their skin tender from the intense rays of the sun."BOOOORING!" James cried aloud, startling Ben from his perch in the boat."What do you mean 'boring'? This is what you wanted! You asked to fish." Ben replied."Yeah, but I didn't think it was going to be like this! Nothing's happening!" James stated."And what did you expect?"I don't know, fish! Where are they? We have been out her for a while now and not a peep! Why don't you make something happen. Cause a storm, give us some waves...make it fun!" James declared."Well, this is what you asked for. The computer created the simulation based on your specifications. You have no one to blame but yourself. Besides, we are on a lake and not the grand Pacific. You are not going to get hurricane forces here. It's not in the program." Ben explained."It is if you re-write it!" James chided with a grin."I am not about to re-write programs just so you can get your kicks. This is fishing, this is what you suggested.  So I suggest you sit down, shut up, and cast your damned line in the water and be happy." Ben said.  He then sat down and re-cast his own line. There was a new-found silence in the boat, and just as the calm was about to settle once again over them, James stood up and tossed his fishing pole into the water."There are NO fish! We have been sitting out here for four hours----""Two," Ben interrupted."QUITE some time, and neither of us has managed to catch a single fish! How is that possible? How did you manage to program the ONE lake in all creation with no fish? I mean, what did you do, specifically ask for the one lake that has no chance to bring any joy to anyone who came out here? Has this lake ever had fish? Did they all die in some catastrophic event?" James ranted."From what I understand, you have to be patient when fishing," Ben replied airily, closing his eyes to his upset father."Patient? How the hell can you be patient? We are sitting in the middle of a lake with the sun beating down on us from above and reflecting up from the water burning our skin like a baked ham, and drying us to the bone. I'm hot, thirsty, and there are no fish!""There is water all around you," Ben said with a gesture of his hand. "Lean over and take a drink." "You suggesting I stick my head in that filth?" James demanded."Yes Dad, that is exactly what I am suggesting! Stick your head under, hold it there for twenty-five minutes, and I guarantee you won't be thirsty any more. Blimey, you may even finally catch a fish!" Ben said as he waved his hands about."You're about to catch something right now..." James muttered."What?" Ben asked."Nothing. I'm leaving. Computer Exit!" James stood up suddenly in the boat, preparing to walk out the doors now present on the shore."You're leaving? You can't just leave, this was your idea!" Ben called after him, holding onto the edge of the boat. The flustered movements of his father were upsetting the small craft, and it was beginning to rock violently."Watch me," James replied, and he gathered up his few belongings and attempted to push off the side of the boat. Unfortunately, his motion was charged with anger, and he pushed with too much force. The boat swerved suddenly to the left, was buffeted by the newly created wave, and both men were sent careening into the water. Ben yelled, and with a great splash landed flat on his back in the water. His father was soaked through, sitting on his pride not too far from his son."Well, this is just perfect," Ben said as he sat up. "Now I am all wet.""It's holographic water Son, you'll be dry as soon as you step out the door." James said with a chuckle."That is not the point--" Ben started, but James interrupted."I wonder why we didn't sink? We are in the middle of the lake." James mused."It's a holodeck Dad, it adjusts to us." Ben explained."And yet, it couldn't adjust and put some damned fish in the water." James looked at his son, and he smiled. Then he began to laugh. He stayed sitting in the water staring at his son, and both men were soon laughing at their ridiculous situation. Finally standing, Ben offered his Dad a hand to pull him up and out of the water."Come on Dad, time for Lunch. We can talk about some other activity we can do together.""How about shuttle racing? That could be fun for us. I know you have a few shuttles here that would be perfect." James asked as they neared the holodeck doors.Patting his Dad on his wet shoulder, Ben laughed. "Not on your life Old Man." The doors parted and they left together.

My father and I have now returned from Earth, and are beginning the process of  living together. I have decided against establishing some quarters for him and instead have moved him into my personal quarters. My living space is large enough for two, though he is not the roommate I had in mind. I have the deck chief drawing up plans to extend a room onto my quarters, giving him a modicum of privacy, but until that happens I shall resign myself to sleeping on my sofa until his personal room is ready. I can already tell this is not going to be an easy adjustment. My father has already expressed his reluctance with the whole matter, complaining the entire flight from Hull to the station that he would have rather been left to his own devices on Earth. While I am sure that he would have got along fine, the fact is that my family members should not be asked to do something that is my obligation. He is my father after all. Meredith politely offered to take my father into her home, but the fact is that she has her own family to look after, her son and daughters and her husband. There is no need to add to her family situation. Besides, I have the room so it only makes sense that he come be with me.Of course, it also gives me the unique opportunity to get to know the man. So much of his history has been clouded over, things that neither of us are willing to talk about. My mother being one of those things. How many times I wished that we had the opportunity to sit down and talk about it, to gain some sort of perspective on the whole incident surrounding her death, but neither of us has been willing or able to make that attempt to talk about it, to communicate our thoughts on the subject. I know it was never explained to me to any sort of satisfaction. And that is something that has haunted me for much of my life. But, even now as I watch my father move about the room, placing our family photos all about my living room, I cannot help but recognize the possibility being presented to me now. Hopefully before his condition worsens, he and I will have the opportunity for a long awaited conversation.Perhaps my largest concern is with my father interacting with my officers. His longstanding friendship with Edwin Sutherland is something that is sure to be quite interesting to watch as they renew their interactions, and I am sure that the other officers will soon find themselves in the company of the man. I am not sure how much interaction he will be up for, considering his condition. But I want him to be comfortable here, and that means putting up with his attempts to get to know the men and women that live and work here. I only hope he can contain himself, and give others time to adapt to him before he reveals the true "James Thrace" that I know.

I brought my father home today after being in New Berlin for the past four days. I took an extended leave of absence from Starfleet after I received a cryptic message from my cousin Meredith that my father had taken ill.  upon my arrival, I was made to wait for several hours before being allowed to see him, only to finally be allowed access and finding him just as he always was; irascible in the extreme.  He told me it was nothing, that Meredith was simply overreacting to just a few lapses in memory, something any man his age would be experiencing. And he was right about that, at least in my opinion. My father is nearly seventy-one years old, and the occasional lapse is to be expected. Feeling a bit put out, I returned to waiting only to have a doctor tell me that there were some other outward concerns and that they wanted to keep him a while longer to run a few more tests. More tests. I know those words so well. I have used them countless times in my career, having to inform both patients and their families that a few more tests were necessary in order to "rule things out." Of course it was a stalling statement, something we doctors used when we knew something was wrong, but weren't sure what. And I could see by the expression on the doctor's face that this was the case. So, more waiting for me.Let me tell you, pacing about the lobby of a hospital is not the best way to spend your time or make friends. I am sure there are countless people in that lobby that now hate me, the neurotic Brit that wouldn't sit down. But how could I? Even the normally calming countenance of Kathryn couldn't completely soothe the angst I felt every time those doors opened and another doctor entered or left. How I wanted to burst back there and completely take over, dominate the scene and find out what precisely was wrong with my father. I would have been well within my right to do so, as a Starfleet Doctor my authority superceedes theirs. But my father wouldn't hear of it, and I am sure that the nursing staff would have been anything but supportive had I overruled their attending physician. So I was regulated to the task of more pacing, all the while blaming myself for not taking a keener interest into my father's health.I know it is not my fault. As he will openly admit, he is aging, though to hear him tell it you would think gracefully.  But I know how much it pains him, how much he longs to be vital once again and not constantly depending on the support of our family. Not that he was ever really a burden, but just constantly having someone look over your shoulder can make anyone feel like that. It was something none of us wanted to consider, getting older and now relying on loved ones to watch our every move. My father had always been a protector and provider, a vibrant force in our family. Whatever else he had been, whatever kind of man, he had always put his lineage above all else. That included me. Now to watch that vibrancy slip away, it was disheartening.Finally, after two days of traipsing about the hospital, and keeping my father's hands from wandering along the hem lines of a few nurses skirts, we were given a diagnosis: Advanced Irumodic Syndrome. It explained why the testing had taken so long, as synaptic pathway degradation can be caused by a multitude of things. They wanted to be sure. And now we had it. A disease that ravaged the brain, stripping away the ability to control even the most basic function, until the person finally died of autonomic failure.  There was no cure, nothing we could do but offer the person a modicum of comfortability until they finally passed. With the diagnosis confirmed twice (once by me), I gathered my father and his things and transported him home.So  here I sit in my father's study recording this log. He is upstairs resting, the trip from New Berlin taking more out of him than either of us realized. I thought that I would begin my own research, look at the palliative treatment for the disease and see if there was not some way to improve upon it, maybe even understand where the medical research stood at this point when it came to a cure. But I just can't bring myself to do that. I am sitting here, staring at a picture of my father and I at the last family reunion, a picture that I had forgotten about until now. I didn't even know that he kept it, but I suppose I should have. The house is a veritable collage of the family through the centuries.  But this picture stands out. It is almost proudly displayed on his desk, larger than the others that dominate its large surface. A simple photo of he and I, with "Father and Son" scrawled down one side. A telltale picture taken by my second cousin Ashland. The boy really had done an excellent job. I didn't realize he had such a talent.Sitting here, looking at the picture of us, the various pictures of other family members, a few pictures of my mother scattered about the office, I realize just how important my family line is to my father. Don't get me wrong, I had always known, but only now sitting here where he normally sits, surrounded by these photos, do I begin to comprehend the effort and care that went into researching and cataloging all these pictures and preserving them. It took a dedication that I didn't know my father had, or maybe didn't want to believe he had.  My father. James Augustus Thrace. What else do I not know about the man? Will I have the opportunity to learn before it's too late?

I know I know, this was a looong time coming! I probably should have done these a long time ago, and it would have saved me a lot of heartache. But live and learn, and now I know what I need to say so that people won't get all all upset (Like some have) when I tell them I cannot rp with them.  So, I hope these help clear things up, and this way I can avoid confrontations! So here they are!Rules:1. I am a  non-canon character. That means I am a true blue, 100% original. I can do what I want, and not worry about wondering if it is "In Character." So, don't criticize how I act or what I say, because that is the sure fire way to find yourself deleted!2. I will not rp with you in which we continue to introduce your character over and over.  Once,  the very first time we rp together, is enough.  Please establish yourself.3. I will not rp with someone who tries to play multiple characters at once.  This means that if you make a comment post as one character, but in that post you act as four or five other characters, I will not respond.  Pick one, make it your main, and then we can rp.4. At no point will I sacrifice myself, or "kill off" a character at any time.  While it may seem pivotal to the storyline,  I simply will not do it, so don't expect it or request it.5. Keep God Moding slim to nil. There are some people with whom this is an exception, for I have rped with them long enough that they would know how I respond. And even they know my limits. So, don't do it. I control me, you control you. Easy right?6. I don't like "magic," so don't try it. It gets on my nerves when people use obvious plot holes in order to solve their problems, so don't even think about it. Q's are an exception, because of who they are and their overall intent. But even that is a bit extreme, so it would be best to just ask before proceeding. I will not be entranced, spellbound, or any other such nonsense so don't try.7. I am a doctor, nothing else. While I do have knowledge of a lot of different fields and areas, medicine is first. So that being said, don't ask me to take over in Engineering or some other craziness. And with that, don't step into my house either. If you're a Transwarp Theorist, I would be more than happy to talk to you about it, but that is it. I'm not building warp engine with you or any other kind of strange thing. I'm a doctor, so leave it at that.8. I don't do one liners. Don't ask, don't try, just don't do it. I like to read as well as write, and when things are short and choppy it aggravates me.  Para and multi-para are great, so get it together and go with that. Just don't go crazy.9. SPELL CHECK SPELL CHECK SPELL CHECK! Holy crap, I HATE reading a bunch of misspelled words! One or two is fine, but a whole paragraph dominated by them? Not on my page! There are tons of websites that offer quick and easy spelling and grammar checks, so USE THEM! Stop being lazy! I know I use them, so don't be prideful!  Grammar, punctuation, and correct spelling make good stories great. DO IT!10. And Last but certainly not least....I AM CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP!! That's right, I'M TAKEN! So you women get those licentious eyes off me!  It's not happening, no way, no how. I am not a cheat, no matter how much you beg or whine. THE ANSWER IS NO! I am still willing to carry on friendships with you, but that is as far as it goes. You want something more? Tough.  Read my profile, its all there. Hell, you should read the profile anyhow just so that you know who I am! Again, see rule 1!!!Now then, these rules are of course subject to change as my character develops and it becomes necessary to add things or subtract or modify, whatever the need is. I posted these to clear things up a bit, and to stop all the angry messages because I don't rp with people (You know who you are!!!) Now we are all on the same page, and I hope we can do some really great rps together. Should you have any questions about any of these rules, do not hesitate to send me a message and I will discuss them. Doesn't mean they will change, but I am willing to discuss them.

"When she shall die, take her and cut her out in little stars and she will make the face of heaven so fine that the entire world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun."Ben awoke suddenly in his bed, and listened to the silence around him. The only sound to be heard was that of the wind whipping about the windows of his room, the third winter storm of the season in full go. He slowly sat up, pulled the blankets off, and slipped out of bed. The moment his feet touched the cold wooden floor, he cringed and slipped them into his dark green slippers. He always did that, missed them by inches, and always received a cold reminder. He grabbed his matching house robe from the bedpost, put it on, and made his way downstairs.The entire house seemed frozen. It was as if his own personal winter had sprung up inside his new home, the winter wind finding its way through the walls and chilling the entire house to a point of morose emptiness. Surely no life could ever exist in such a dreary place, and even Ben seemed to think of himself as an odd sort of innkeeper of a long forgotten English Manor. The heavy robe he wore could not protect him from the house winds, but he still vainly attempted to wrap the dense material about him to generate some warmth. He could not understand how the cold had become so trenchant, since he had made sure to turn on the heating unit before going to bed. The blasted thing is probably on the blink again, he thought, but when he approached the monitor he saw that it had automatically turned off. He considered turning it back on, but decided instead that he wanted a fire, so he turned away from it and headed for his library.The library was smaller than he would have liked, but it certainly served its purpose well. He had painstakingly placed all the books on the shelves just a few days previous, but had yet to place the pictures and paintings on the wall of the room. He smiled at the notion of how much work remained to do in this new house before it would become a home to him, but cringed inwardly at the thought of it. If only Rebecca were here, she would have this place already stocked full of our things, and feeling like a right proper place to call home. He shuddered at the thought of her, trying to drive her from his mind. It was no use, as this time of year often did that to him. How she had loved the winter, had loved the holidays. The only thing she had ever asked of him was to get the necessary decorations, whatever she requested no matter how outlandish, and she would take care of the rest. And take care of it she did. In a day's time, their home in France transformed from a seemingly simple flat in the city of LaBarre into a shrine for the holiday season. The house would exude the pungent fragrance of cloves and cinnamon spice as she cooked and baked and overwhelmed herself with seasonal foodstuffs. His favorite scent had been the fresh peppermint, which she would put in the water for the tea on the first day of her cooking. The living room would absorb the aroma, and it would linger for days, and it would welcome him home each time he sat in his favorite chair near the bay window. Now that smell and all the others were gone, this new place still reeking of moth balls, and wood, and totally grounded him in the very real sense that he was alone.He walked to the fireplace and began the process of starting it up. It didn't take long, since he had placed treated wood in the hearth the other morning and a lighter nearby. With a little patience, he soon had a nice fire going, and he walked over to the mini bar that was concealed in a panel not too far from the fireplace and poured himself a drink. It was then that he saw the time, and he scrunched up his face in disgust. The clock read three a.m., and he wished he felt tired. It would be a long day indeed for the doctor, and he was sure at some point he would long for sleep. He turned around and walked back to the sofa, and sat down. Once again his thoughts returned to Rebecca, and how she would always argue that he just needed to return to bed, and eventually sleep would come. She had always been right, but right now he could not bring himself to follow the advice he had heard so many times in his life with her. In fact, he wanted to be up, he wanted to think. Part of his problem was this sudden dwelling on all things Rebecca. What was the cause? Sure, he had always thought about her during this time of the year, for she had loved it so, but ten years had passed since her death, and now he found his thoughts returning to her almost as much as they had the day after she died.Ben rose from the sofa and crossed to the old mahogany desk in the library and took out an old picture of Rebecca from a hidden drawer panel. He had kept it hidden in his desk, the only picture he did not allow others to see. Her hair had been shorter then, the dark ringlets framing her face and making her smile all the more innocent. Her smile had always seemed so simple, and yet so magnificent because of its graceful simplicity. She smiled for any reason, at the slightest provocation, and Ben remembered the time he had first seen it. The smile that changed my life, he thought to himself as he gazed upon the picture. As enthralling as the smile was, her eyes truly had it. Deep, dark pools of vibrant warmth that had been so fascinating to look into. How he had fallen in love with those eyes, how they would become alight with fire when she was outraged, or how it seemed her love for him poured from those wondrous portals of her heart when he kissed her. Unexpectedly the picture seemed blurred, out of focus; and he blinked and rubbed his eyes only to discover that he was crying. He shook his head and sat down at his desk, and put his head down.His head had barely touched the desk when he suddenly felt a warm hand on his face, and felt a light breath on his neck. He knew who it was before they spoke, but he waited for the voice anyway."How did I know I would find you here?" Her soft voice made him smile, despite the slight sarcastic tone."I would imagine, you know where to find me because you have found me like this before," He inhaled deeply, and brought his head up from the desk. There sat Rebecca, on the edge of the desk looking down at him, eyes radiant and smile beguiling. He turned in his chair and stared up at her, taking in the sight of her after so long. She was just as he remembered, but all the more lovely. She wore the long white dress that had been her favorite for lounging about the house all those years ago. A simple, flowing dress that hugged her lithe frame expertly, and had always made Ben want to reach out take her into his arms."So, it's that time of year again I see," She moved over to him, and picked up the picture that he had been resting on only moments earlier."You know it, same as always," he remarked, watching her as she stared at herself. She breathed deeply, and looked back at him."I thought you were going to get rid of this picture. You know how much I hated my hair in it. It's too short." She ran her fingers around her face in the picture, as if she could magically make the hair grow."I think that is why I keep it, because you think its terrible but I cannot find a flaw." He took the picture from her, and set it upon the desk. Rebecca stood up then, and walked to the window. She wrapped her arms around herself, and he watched her for a moment before finally standing and walking to her side."I see you returned to England. I wondered if you would ever pull yourself out of LaBarre. I know how much you hated being there, what with my family coming and going in the house after I was gone." She didn't turn to face him, and he did not need to see her face to know a smile was there. Instead she kept her eyes on the falling snow."That is not true, I loved France, and I loved LaBarre. But you are right; your family was beginning to make me a bit batty. Your mother wanted to come over each day and cook for me, and your brother absolutely refused to leave me alone on the weekends. He insisted on dragging me to every little night club he was familiar with." Ben crossed his arms at the memory, but he heard her begin to laugh."Find that funny do you?" He turned to her, arms still crossed. She faced him finally, the laughter still evident in her smile. She placed a hand on his chest, and moved closer to him."You must not be angry with Philippe, he was trying to do you a favor, and they love you." She kept laughing, and he smiled at her as he wrapped his arms around her."They are not the one I want. I want you, I miss you so much." The laughter was now gone, and she stared up at him. She didn't speak, but instead took his arm and pulled him over to the sofa. He sat down, and she curled up next to him, tucking the hem of her dress under her toes."Well, fill me in on all that has happened since we last spoke." She was smiling again, and though he didn't want to change the subject, he couldn't help but give in to her request."Well, I have returned to my research, finally attempting to cure all the universe's diseases like I said I would when we met. I am finally settling into the routine of this new life, and I now have things running pretty smoothly with the medical facility. Not to mention, I just bought this gargantuan place, and I still have my work cut out for me with renovations and unpacking everything. But I love it, and slowly but surely I am getting comfortable here." His sudden sprightly demeanor did not convince her, and she could tell he was not being completely forthcoming."Ben, I know there is more to it than that, and you know that your professional life is not what I wanted to hear about. You have always been able to work in spite of whatever personal things were going on with you, and you have learned to hide it well. But you can't hide it from me, you never could. Stop trying to evade me and just tell me what is going on." Her mellifluous French accent pierced him, and despite his love of it and her, he felt his anger rising."As if you don't know. You say you know me so well, and yet you want to go through all this. Why? Don't you see that I don't want to? I just want to sit here, and stare at you and think about you." He reached out for her hand, and interlaced his fingers with hers."Ben, you can't hold onto me forever, and I can tell that you grow tired of this. Every year you trudge out that old picture of me and stare at it, and reminisce on things that can never be. You persecute yourself, and now I can sense that you are close to a new happiness, and yet you chose to be hard on yourself. This year you have been harder on yourself than any other. Never have you sunk to the depths you have this year, and it is that more than anything else that tells me something is different. What is it? Have you met someone? Are you in love?" Her eyes were attempting to bore into him, as if she could search his heart herself and glean the answer."YES DAMMIT YES!" His outburst was so sudden, and it frightened him. "At least, I don't know. I have met someone, and she is....well, she is wonderful. Each and every time that we are together, I find myself longing to be closer to her, to hold her just as I once held you. But when we get close, I feel that I am hurting you, and not being honest with her. I just don't think that I am ready to be with someone else." He closed his eyes, his head suddenly throbbing and sweat beginning to form on his head. The realization of the feelings he had for someone else abruptly seemed to come crashing down upon him, and he felt as though he may break under their weight. He could not bring himself to look at her, but soon he felt her touch his face with her soft hands and bring his head down to rest on her shoulder."Ben, how long did you expect to mourn me before you finally began to let go? Honestly, this is natural, and thoroughly to be expected. You should not want to be alone, no one should. I would not wish that on anyone, especially not on the man I love." She stroked his hair, and continued talking. "Ben, I love you, and I always will you know that. But I am not here to be with you, I cannot be, and you cannot waste your life waiting for something that is never going to happen. You need to move on. This new person could be who you are looking for, who you need. Perhaps you can both be the rock the other needs in their lives.""But I don't want another rock! Rebecca, you were supposed to be it for me. All my life I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I was so proud of being able to do things on my own. But when I met you, and the way you helped me to attain my life goal, I just knew that I was supposed to be with you. I feel so guilty all the time about you, and I don't need another thing to feel guilty about. Already just thinking about someone else makes me feel as though I am betraying you. Do you know how much my heart hurts to think about you? To think of all the things we will never get to experience together?" He turned away from her once again, and crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby bookshelf. Once again she came to him, and wrapped her arms around his waste and leaned on his back."Do you remember the night you proposed to me? What you said? You said that no matter what, you would be there for me, that you would do all you could to make me happy. You also said that you did not believe that you were worthy to be with me, and that you would spend the rest of our lives together doing all you could to be worthy of my love. Well Ben, follow through with that. Just because I am not here anymore does not mean you cannot still be worthy of my love. I want you to be happy, just as happy as you had wanted me to be, and I want you to have that happiness with someone in your life. You want to be worthy of my love, to be worthy of the faith that I always had in you to be the honorable upstanding man I met all those years ago? Then let me go. Let me rest. Put those old pictures away, and don't take them out anymore." She walked around to face him, and he leaned down and touched his head to hers. She was crying softly, the tears beginning to fall down her face. He cupped her face in his hands, and lifted her head to look in her eyes."Ben, let me go. Don't do this to yourself, not anymore. You're slipping, and I am afraid you won't be able to come back again if you let go. I promise it is alright. I am fine, and you need to move on." She brought her mouth to his and kissed him, and he kissed her back gently, not applying much pressure but holding her lips to his. A tear began to roll down his face, and finally she pulled away, slowly freeing herself from him."I love you....so much. I am so sorry for what happened, so sorry that I could not save you. It should have been me." Tears began to flow in earnest from him, and she outstretched her hand to wipe some of them away."I know you love me, so do this for me....please. Let me go Ben. Just let me go."Suddenly he awoke. He had fallen asleep at his desk in the library. He looked around quickly, almost expecting to see Rebecca there. The fire was beginning to die out, the room becoming colder and colder as each ember dimmed. He became aware of a hot wetness on his cheek, and realized he had been crying. He wiped his face and looked down, to find himself once again staring at the picture of Rebecca that he so cherished. He picked it up and wiped it off, then slipped it back inside the desk drawer. He rose slowly, his bones creaking from the cold and having sat in a position for so long, and made his way back upstairs.

I think my stay at the Fleet Admiral's house is at an end.  I have come to realize that despite my feelings about her....for her, I cannot stay here.  I suppose it is my own fault, really.  I feel I have crossed the line, allowed my professionalism to be compromised.  I really thought that she was beginning to feel.......well something for me, but it seems all I arouse in her is anger and trepidity.  This is simply something that I am not used to.  I have never really been good at putting myself out there, at being close to someone, and for the first time in a long time I finally felt that I could be close to someone.  So many times we shared moments, great times with one another, but we whenever we seemed close to any kind of fundamental breakthrough, we would revert to arguing and criticizing eachother.  It has gotten to a point where I cannot see a need for us to continue to be in the same place anymore.  I know that she has been depending on my medical expertise to cure her current illness, and I will do just that.  My work will not be impeeded in any way, and I can continue my work from either my new home or at Starbase 231 where I still hold my position as lead researcher.  Perhaps a break from each other would be just what we both need in order to really achieve our respective jobs.   But it is more than just my want to continue my work unhindered that makes me seek this......separation.  I have never met a woman like her, so strong and yet so fragile.  She puts so much stock in her her job, how she is viewed, that sometimes her professional objectivity overshadows her personal one.  She has grown so accustomed to things being a certain way in her life that she cannot imagine a change, in which she may actually have come to depend on someone.  Not that I can blame her.  My own issues with relationships is probably more at fault, for I continue to hold back.  There is so much about me that she simply does not know, and yet I cannot seem to break that barrier in order to really connect to her, to let her in.  I want to, gods know I want to, but for some reason I cannot.  You know, if Rebecca were here she would say I was just being too pig-headed to open up, that I am allowing my past to influence too much of my future.   She messes me about in a way that I would never have imagined.  There are nights when I cannot seem to sleep without dreaming of her, or that my day is simply not complete without seeing her and that wonderful smile at least once.  But she seems to have thought other thoughts about me.  The last of my things are being moved as I make this entry, although I am leaving a fully stocked medical carrier for her personal use. There may be times when I am unable to get back to her to get her the medicine she needs, so in this manner she can make up the proper dosages.  I have shown her how to do it on several occasions, and I have left explicit instructions as well. I am confident she will acquit herself of this task well, but should she need my, personal touch, she knows how to reach me. I have just been informed that my final belongings have been transferred to my home in England.  I am now officially.....moved out.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that what I battle everyday is loneliness.  I spend countless hours each day running about attempting to find things to occupy the hours, from work to group functions, to sports teams, and I as rapidly approach the day when I will lose one of those forever, I realize that loneliness is creeping up on me once again.  I don't think I am the only one.  It is quite possibly the one thing that we all have in common. We get older, we make friends, we have intimate relationships, and it is all so that in the end, we have someone with us during the good and bad times.  There are those people who say they are proud to be alone, and find many ways to justify this notion.  They find clever words to hide the loneliness, find ways to express a sense supposed sense of independence that are supposed to make those that have someone feel jealous.  I know, because I was one of these people.  I used to (and still do on occasion) make fun of my friends who were in these long and involved relationships, their constant battles, and their drama.  I always told them their relationships were far too much trouble then they were worth, and I was so glad that I depended on no one.   But then the other night, I awoke at about three a.m., and when I rolled over in my bed I was once again greeted by a wall.  There was no other person, no young woman that I was fervently in love with; no soft breathing to remind me that someone loved me back.  There was just a wall.  I stared at it for quite a while, the faint lines from the paint brush still quite evident in the moonlight.  It was in that moment that I realized how hollow those words of independence and self-reliance were, and how lonely I really was.  Sure, I have friends and a great family, people around me who would do anything for me and vice versa, but at three a.m., when I wanted nothing more than to hold someone and tell her I love her, I had a wall.   So, what is all this about?  You know, I am not sure. I am getting older, and while I know many would fervently remind me of how young I am and how much time I still have to find that one person that I am meant for, I cannot help but look at the way my life is now, take stock all that I have and all that I have experienced, and not recognize the possibility that I may end up, alone.  How can one even begin to prepare for a life like that?  Sure there are women around me that I talk to, that I am interested in, even one that knows of my feelings for her and returns them.  But as much as I care for her, and as much as I know that she wants to be with me, still I cannot shake the feelings of loneliness.  She is quite far away now, and we do not talk that often anymore.  I had expected this to happen, that as time passed that distance would be too great for us to conquer.  Perhaps it was that initial defeatist attitude that sabotaged any advancement for us, and once again it only serves to reinforce my thoughts of how I shall end up.   Of course, I can always lose myself in my friends.  I have a great many of them, and I am quite social.  I love meeting people, talking, interacting, and experiencing new things with them.  I have many friends now that are as close to me as any family member, and some I have known for so long they are practically family.  Will they be there, all of my life, ready to stand by me and help me whenever I need them?  Of course they are.  We have forged relationships that could never be challenged or broken, and for that I am grateful.  And I have met new people who, while months ago our relationship started as nothing more than a simple diversion to help me ease a little college stress, who now I cannot wait to talk to each night.  It's great, meeting new people and experiencing all this with them, and I look forward to each new minute.   But at the end of every night, at the end of every dinner, every conversation, I return to my wall.  It is solid, it is bare, it is beige, and it reminds me every night that I am alone.  I fall asleep, wake up, and again am greeted by this wall.  For the longest time I knew I hated that wall, but I could never figure out why.  It has done nothing more than shield me from the outside elements, warm me when I was at my coldest, and provide me with a place to think and reflect. But the hate came on anyway, and it is only now that I am realizing that the wall is not my problem.....the loneliness is.

My continued research into the disease that plagues Fleet Admiral Janeway does not go well.  While I have isolated the illness, I have yet to determine its cause or a way to cure it with any definition.  While I cannot name specifically what it is she suffers from, it can best be described as a type of white blood cell overload.  All the white blood cells of her body seem to be in a state of hyperdrive, their production level way above normal.  At a first glance, one would think this increase indicative of a bacterial or parasitic infection, but at this point I believe there to be more to it than that.  I believe, that after the initial infection, the bacteriophage responsible for that inital stage may have altered the nuclear DNA of her WBC's sending them to this hyperactive state.  Normally they would have returned to baseline levels, but this disease seems to thrive in the mass numbers.  There are a few things that concern me: One is her eosinophil count.  Eosinophils are responsible for responding in the event of a parasitic invasion, so they would naturally be the first ones infected.  This of course would explain their high numbers, but now the percentage of Eosinophils in her blood have risen to dangerous levels, and I cannot stop it.  The average human eosinophil count is about five percent, but hers is currently fourteen percent.  This high percentage is troublesome, simply for the fact that upon degranulation of eosinophils, they release an array of cytotoxic cationic proteins that damage the surrounding tissues.  Too many of these could lead to her death.  Another thing that bothers me is her NK or Natural Killer cell count.  These cells are normally the regulators, making sure to control cell production by killing the cell before it becomes a problem.  Unfortunately, I can find no NK cells in the Admiral's body, and this lack of cells is extremely troubling.  Somehow, I must find a way to stimulate NK cell production without continuing to stimulate the production of her other WBC's, and I must isolate the bacteriophage or parasite responsible for the original infection or else my work would be for nothing.

Recently I have begun research into the mysterious illnes that currently plagues Fleet Admiral Kathryn Janeway.  I became acquatined with her ailment only a few weeks previous and the following log entries will document my attempts to save her life. The patient's inital symptoms are: joint and muscle pain, lack of apetite, fatigue, sensitivity to light and touch, and an increasing sensitivity to heat.  As far as can be determined at this point, no physical representations of advanced disease have occured (hair loss, tumors, leisons, sores, etc...) but as the patient is now absent it is hard to acertain if these manifestations have not begun. Before the patient left, I was able to obtain several blood samples from the Admiral, and though they are now several weeks old, they still provide the best information.  I am convinced that the answers to all this lie in the blood, and I am attempting a full histiological workup at this time.  I can only hope that the disease does not mutate or rapidly increase in productivity while the Admiral is gone, and that the cure I develop for her will still be viable. Preliminary testing shows that the Admiral's leucocyte production is quite low, with Eosinophils and basophils showing the least in production in her body. Her neutrophilic count however, is alarmingly high, and I can only hope this is not the end result of some anastomosing tumor that has now branched to her lymphatic and endocrine system.  Systemic linkage on this magnitude could lead to a more severe form of disase that would be near impossible to treat.  Wherever the Admiral is, I hope she takes good care of herself.  At last report, she was using B-12 vitamin injections to supplement her energy loss, but the virility of the disease has probably made this stop gap measure futile by now.  My first series of tests should be completed in the morning, and I shall make a full report of findings after the analysis.

General OrdersGeneral Order #1 (PRIME DIRECTIVE)As the right of each sentient being to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Starfleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes: introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Starfleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ships, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation. General Order #2 No Starfleet personnel shall unnecessarily use force, either collectively or individually, against members of the United Federation of Planets, their duly authorized representatives, spokespersons, or designated leaders, or members of any sentient non-member race, for any reason whatsoever. General Order #3 The sovereignty of each Federation members being respected in all things, Starfleet personnel shall observe any and all statutes, laws, ordinances, and rules of governance currently in effect within the jurisdiction of a member planet. Violators of such ordinances will be subject to such punishments or corrections as shall be determined by local governmental bodies. General Order #4 If contact is made with hitherto undiscovered intelligent life forms, under no circumstances shall Starfleet personnel, either by word or deed, inform said life forms that worlds other than their own exists outside the confines of their own space. General Order #5 In cases of extreme emergency, Federation special representatives are empowered to assume emergency powers to deal with a condition or circumstance that is deemed hazardous to the welfare of Federation citizenry. Within the scope of these emergency powers, duly authorized civilian personnel may assume temporary command of Starfleet vessels and/or personnel to deal with the emergency. Starfleet personnel must submit to their authority for the duration of the crisis. General Order #6 The request for emergency assistance from Federation citizenry demands unconditional priority from Starfleet personnel. Such personnel shall immediately respond to said request, postponing all other activities. General Order #7 No Starfleet vessel shall visit the planet Talos IV under any circumstances, emergency or otherwise. This order supersedes General Order 6. Any transgression of this general order shall be punishable by death. General Order #8 Upon sighting a warship within Federation space and identifying it as belonging to a foreign power, the commander of the Starfleet vessel shall determine the reason(s) for that craft's presence in the vicinity. If there is conclusive evidence that the vessel has a hostile intention, the Federation vessel may take appropriate action to safeguard the lives and property of Federation members. In such cases, the commander may use his discretion in deciding whether to use force to disable the hostile vessel. However, care should be taken to avoid unnecessary loss of sentient life. General Order #9 No commander of a Starfleet vessel, military or auxiliary, may grant political asylum to any individual without first being given express permission to do so by a representative of the Federation government. General Order #10 If there exists eyewitness testimony by senior officers or similar verifiable evidence that an individual has violated the Prime Directive, said individual may be relieved of duty by a duly sworn representative of the Federation government and placed under immediate arrest. The governmental representative shall then take such action as he deems necessary to minimize the results of the violation. General Order #11 Starfleet officers with the rank of captain or higher are granted full authority to negotiate conditions of agreement and/or treaties with legal representatives of non-Federation planets. In such circumstances, the acting officer carries de factor powers of a Federation special ambassador. Any and all agreements arranged in this manner are subject to approval by the Commander in Chief of Starfleet Command and the Secretary of Starfleet. General Order #12 Federation officers may violate Neutral Zone areas as designated by treaty only if such action is required to save the lives of Federation citizens under conditions of extreme emergency. General Order #13 Except when orders state to the contrary, Starfleet personnel will respect the territorial integrity of independent planetary systems and governments, and will not violate territorial space belonging to such worlds. General Order #14 Starfleet personnel may intervene in local planetary affairs to restore general order and to secure the lives and property of Federation citizens only upon receiving a direct order to do so from a civilian official with the title of governor or higher. General Order #15 No officer of flag rank may travel into a potentially hazardous area without suitable armed escort. General Order #16 Starfleet personnel may extend technological, medical, or other scientific assistance to a member of a previously unrecognized sentient species only if such assistance in no way compromises the Prime Directive of the security of the Federation or Starfleet. General Order #17 Starfleet vessel captains are to consider the lives of their crew members as sacred. In any potentially hostile situation, the captain will place the lives of his crew above the fate of his ship. General Order #18 Upon being accused of treason against the Federation, Starfleet personnel may demand a trial conducted by the Federation judiciary. If the individual is acquitted, Starfleet Command shall have no further legal recourse against the accused in said manner. General Order #19 Except in times of declared emergency, Starfleet personnel may under no circumstances convey personnel or material between planets or planetary systems when there is reason to believe that said personnel or material may be used to conduct aggression. This order applies to independent worlds within the Federation as well as to Federation members. General Order #20 Officers and personnel of Starfleet Command may employ whatever means necessary to prevent the possession, transportation, sale, or commercial exchange of sentient beings being held against their wishes within the boundaries of Federation space. General Order #21 No Starfleet personnel, either officer or enlisted, may offer his services to an independent foreign government without the express authorization of the Federation Assembly. General Order #22 As the rights of individual expression and free discourse are considered sacred, Starfleet personnel may debate the policies and decisions of their governmental representatives privately at any time, to the extent that such discussions do not violate their command oath or specific duties to the Federation per these General Orders or Starfleet regulations. General Order #23 When verifiable proof is presented to the senior commanding officer of a Starfleet vessel or post that a Federation representative may currently be acting or has acted in the past to violate the Prime Directive, the officer may relieve said representative of office, and then assume the full powers of that office pending a full investigation by government officials. General Order #24 If a commanding officer deems that an individual or group of individuals pose a threat to Starfleet personnel or Federation civilians, he may take any action deemed necessary (including the use of force) to secure the safety of those threatened. General Order #25 Civilian and military personnel taken into custody by Starfleet personnel during times of extreme emergency shall be accorded proper treatment consistent with rank or station, insofar as such treatment does not compromise the security of the Federation or Starfleet. General Order #26 No member of a ship's complement or other ground-based installation can be held directly accountable for the actions of their superiors. Similarly, no member of a ship's company or other Starfleet personnel will share in disciplinary measures taken against the commanding officer(s) if said individuals were not directly involved in the actions leading to disciplinary measures. This order extends to conditions involving proven violations of the Prime Directive; where proof of such violations exist. General Order #27 No member of Starfleet shall be required by the assignment of standard duties and responsibilities to undergo extended separation from his family if family members can be reasonably provided for aboard ship or as a part of an existing Starfleet installation. General Order #28 No officer of command rank shall be removed from command status unless such action has the complete and unqualified agreement of at least three senior officers present. Whenever possible, such officers shall include the ship's First Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Counselor, and one junior officer of command station. General Order #29 The primary responsibility of the commander of any Starfleet vessel or installation is the welfare and safety of his crew, including any civilian members. No action may be taken that creates an unwarranted threat to the safety of those individuals under the officer's charge, except in the line of duty and when otherwise unavoidable. General Order #30 Starfleet Command recognizes the right of each ship commander to interpret the specifications of the Prime Directive as he sees fit, consistent with the conditions of other existing general orders in effect, and based upon circumstances that may arise in dealing with newly discovered sentient races. General Order #31 The conditions and specifications of the Prime Directive shall henceforth apply to all sentient life forms discovered, whether they are of natural or artificial origin. General Order #32Except in the case of an extreme emergency, no Starfleet commander is authorized to order his ship to travel faster than Warp Factor Five without express permission from Starfleet Command. The Omega Directive Briefing The Omega Directive was created to deal with a threat not only to the Federation, but to the entire Alpha Quadrant; and indeed the whole Galaxy. Starfleet named the hazard the Omega molecule/particle phenomenon. It was first synthesized over 100 years ago (during the mid-22nd century) by a Starfleet physicist named Ketteract. The molecule created was the most powerful substance known to exist. A single Omega molecule contains the same energy as a warp core. It has been suggested that in theory, a small chain could sustain a civilization. It is not known whether Ketteract was searching for an inexhaustible power source, or a weapon. He created a single molecule particle of Omega, which lasted for only a fraction of a second before it destabilized. His work was done on a classified research center in the Lantaru Sector. Ketteract and 126 of the Federation's leading scientists were lost in the accident. Rescue teams attempting to reach the site, discovered an unexpected secondary effect. There were subspace ruptures extending out several light years. To this day, it is impossible to create a stable warp field in that sector. It can only be traversed under sublight power. This is the danger of the Omega molecule. Omega destroys subspace. A chain reaction could devastate subspace throughout the quadrant. Space-faring civilization would no longer exist, and many lives would be lost in space. When Starfleet learned of this impending danger, it suppressed all knowledge of the Omega phenomenon. Only Starfleet Captains and Federation Flag Officers may view this document� Article 1 Starfleet Captains and Federation Flag Officers must ensure the safety of the quadrant from the Omega threat. To this end, whenever sensors positively determine the presence of Omega in a ship's vicinity it will enter "Omega Protocol." Doing so locks all navigation, sensor, tactical and propulsion systems. Only the ship's Captain, or a Federation Flag Officer can release the Omega lockout. Access to sensor data retrieved on the Omega effect is limited to Clearance Level 10. When Omega has been verified, the ship's captain will contact Starfleet Command immediately. No information may be relayed to the ship's crew. All other priorities are rescinded until the threat is neutralized. The prime directive may be compromised during such a mission, if necessary. Blatant abuse of this power will be prosecuted to the fullest extent using all other Starfleet Directives. If violation of the prime directive is even minimally anticipated, it is authorized and advised. If Starfleet Command cannot be contacted for any reason, the primary priority is the destruction of all Omega molecules detected. There will be no computer record of the sensor logs, and Captain's/Captains' Personal Logs must be either encrypted or deleted.Article 2If Starfleet cannot be contacted the Captain may share information of the Omega Molecule. Only the senior officers of the ship and/or Starbase may help in the destruction of the dangerous molecule.

Name: SorrowAlias(s): NoneSex: MaleRace/Species: Fallen angelAge: UnknownBirthday: UnknownSign: UnknownFamily: NoneBirthplace: ParadisoOccupation: NoneHeight: 5'10"Weight: 161lbsEye Color: BrownHair: BlackWeapons/Equipment: NoneAttributes: UnknownBio: Sorrow was once a beautiful angel. Blessed with holy power, he was tasked as a guardian to humanity. Over time, Sorrow grew to hate mortals for their weakness and frailty. He became arrogant and shirked his duties. His negligence caused the deaths of hundreds of mortals that needed his protection and received none. Ashamed and disgusted by what he had done, the Lord bestowed upon the maximum punishment. He was stripped of his station, his powers were taken from him, his wings were forcibly removed, he was forced to bath in the blood of all those that had lost their lives because of him, and finally, he was cast out of heaven and made mortal. Shamed and disgraced, Sorrow now walks the Earth as weak and feeble as the humans he had come to hate, never allowed to return to his holy land.Theme Song: The Bird and the Worm by The Used

Name: Gabriel WolfheartAlias(s): NoneSex: MaleRace/Species: Flame LycanAge: 24Birthday: Doesn't rememberSign: Doesn't rememberFamily: Doesn't remember.Birthplace: Doesn't rememberOccupation: Jack-of-all-trades workerHeight: 5'10", 10'(in wolf form)Weight: 174lbs, 586lbs(in wolf form)Eye Color: AmberHair: AuburnWeapons/Equipment: Two revolvers and a chain whip.Attributes: Werewolf, pyrokinesis, marksman, hand to hand fighter, tracking expert, enhanced strength, agility and senses, free runner.Bio: Gabriel's past is a mystery to him. His first memory is of waking up naked in the middle of the forest with claw and bite marks on his body. When he wandered into the nearest town for help, he was shunned and abused. That same night was the night of the full moon. The next morning Gabriel woke up in the town square covered in blood and with bodies of the townspeople strewn about the streets. Shortly after Gabriel discovered two things: he was a werewolf and he had pyrokinesis. He had no idea what the connection to the two was until he researched the history of lycanthropy. Turns out, there were more to werewolves than getting hairy and howling at the moon; some had special abilities. Gabriel discovered that he had been bitten by a Flame Lycan, a race of werewolves that were said to have total control over fire. Knowing what he was and fearing what might happen, he set out to try and control his new powers. In time he opened up a jack-of-all trades shop and did odd jobs for a living. He does his best to lead a peaceful life, but every so often, trouble finds him and when the full moon shines, Gabriel makes sure he is nowhere to be found.Theme Song: Monster by Skillet

Name: ZanmatoAlias(s): The Demon Warlord Sex: MaleRace/Species: Greater Demon Age: As oId as time Birthday: None Sign: None Family: NoneBirthplace: JapanOccupation: Warlord Height: 10'11" Weight: Unknown Eye Color: None Hair: None Weapons/Equipment: Cursed katana and wakizashi. Attributes: Master of Kenjutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Taijutsu, Batojutsu, Summoning, Shape-shifting, master strategist and tactician, master swordsman. Bio: An age old demon spirit of war and destruction, Zanmato has become a name all who wage war fear. As the daimyo of his own village in the mountains, the village of Kurotsuchi, he raised his own army for one purpose: to unite Japan under his banner. Now, in the age of warring states, Zanmato and his army marches against the armies of Tokugawa, Toyotomi, and Nobunaga.Theme Song~ Signal To Noise by Peter Gabriel

Name: NightAlias(s): NoneSex: MaleRace/Species: SpiritAge: Over 600(looks to be around 20)Birthday: October 11thSign: VirgoFamily: Master(deceased), adoptive brother(now his enemy)Birthplace: UnknownOccupation: ShinigamiHeight: 5'9"Weight: 165lbsEye Color: SilverHair: WhiteWeapons/Equipment: Scythe, crucifixAttributes: Combat expertise, intense spiritual power, master of light magic, expert in all other forms of magic, ability to ferry souls of the dead.Bio: People always wondered where they went when they died. Truth be told: they didn't really go anywhere...not right away. The souls of the dead need a guide to help them to the other side. The living call them angels, and that would be pretty close, but they prefer to be called Shinigami. Since the dawn of time, the Shinigami have led the souls of the dead to their respective places of eternal rest. For the last six hundred years, Night has carried on this same duty. Trained in the Shinigami arts by his now-dead master, Yojimbo, Night is considered one of the greatest Shinigami in Paradiso. His only equal would be his adoptive brother, Kane, who some time ago, betrayed his brother and left Paradiso to spread chaos. To this day, Night still ferries souls from the world of the living while still trying to stop his brother's reign of destruction...and hopefully save him from himself.Theme Song: The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by Smashing Pumpkins

Name: C.G.D. #6, Alexander Sauer Alias(s): None Sex: MaleRace/Species: Human/Machine Age: 36 before assimilation into mechanical body.Birthday: December 22nd Sign: Capricorn Family: DeceasedBirthplace: Pheonix, ArizonaOccupation: Law Enforcement Officer Height: 7'2" Weight: Approx. 2,000lbs Eye Color: None Hair: None Weapons/Equipment: Missile launcher, grenade launcher, photon cannon, electric dynamo, GPS transponder, jet booster, grapples, cryptographic sequencer. Attributes: Former U.S. Marine, body made of steel, infiltration, hacking, master marksman, expert combatant Bio: Alexander Sauer, was once a well known, respected, loyal, and greatly admired U.S. Marine. That was before the accident. In the year 2214, Alexander was reported dead when the base of operations he was posted at was blown up by a radical terrorist group. The real truth is, Alexander managed to survive the explosion but barely and was taken to a secret hospital owned by the C.I.A. His body was severely burned and even if he was able to continue living he would need to be in intensive care for the rest of his life. One day the C.I.A. came to his room and made him an offer. Alexander would be able to continue serving his country and be given the tools to do so. Alexander, being a valiant U.S. patriot, eagerly accepted. The next day Alexander was signed onto the C.I.A.'s new project to create the ultimate peace keepers, the unit known as the C.G.D., Cybernetic Guard Dogs. They removed Alexander's brain and heart and integrated them into a mechanical body that would act as his peace-keeping weapon, and life support system. Alexander was the sixth subject of the project and now, in the year 2224, serves his country as C.G.D. #6.Theme Song: Iron Man by Ozzy Osbourne