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Reticent
reticent
 Marsh stands in front of the mirror, watching his own face. The empty feeling that exists inside his chest is overwhelming. He's watching one face and knows that inside there is a second one. He's become an expert on denying one's true self. What he has seen today isn't something a normal person should see. He knows who's behind it, but he can't expose himself yet. And the mask he's wearing is the one that he has a hard time taking off, especially when he comes home.
There are many times, and he can see that Asher is watching him. Solely on the fact that he's acting like someone else. And he can also tell that Asher questions what Marsh is thinking about. Would he want Asher to know what is on his mind? No. Marsh has become so good at hiding. After all, he was gay for many years before coming out, and his family had been oblivious, though his father expected his partner to be gay, but never Marsh.
Marsh sometimes even struggled with who he was. Was he that Marsh that everyone loved and thought was funny, or was he the one that agent that kept everything well hidden? He often wondered who he really was, what was the true Marsh? it wasn't a lie; this was something he asked frequently. Marsh sighs as he leans forward and splashes the water on his face. He has to take off this work mask, and he can't show Asher who he was when he wasn't with him or his kid.
Marsh looks at his wet face in the mirror and fights the urge to cry. And presses his lips into a smile. He wipes his face as he hears Asher and his son outside the door. He walked out with a smile on his lips and decided instead of taking one mask off to put another cover on. He disliked gravely that his job made him be this way, so reticent.
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