I think that is a one day at a time process, Sammy. You have to take time for yourself to think about what makes you happy - and you can't really include people in your happiness cause those don't always stick around. *pursing her lips softly before kissing the side of his arm, hugging him.* I read this quote that said, happiness isn't found it's created. Do the things that make /you/ happy and f*** anyone else who tries to take that away from you.
*she didn't want to interrupt him, she hated it when she was trying to get it all out and someone kept interjecting, so she let Sam speak.* I don't think you did anything, Sam...an, I don't think it's actually you, either. I know it's probably not what you want to hear. Like, sweetie it's not you it's them. But...I feel like we're kinda the same in a relationship. I get nice and comfortable and then I can't shut up. I tell Cass everything and he always listens. I even tell him stuff that is super embarrassing. He brings me clean panties when I go pee in the middle of the night and discover I got my period. Feel like that's something that grosses people out and for people like me would usually be way too embarrassed to ask for but he makes me understand I can ask him for anything that I need. I don't think you're actually doing anything that runs these guys off. I think what it is, is that...you're more mature than them and you understand what a relationship is so you do all those things while their in an idealist headspace. They don't understand that being with someone isn't just the sexy parts. Its the messy parts too. You're allowing them into your mess because you trust them and letting them know that they can be messy too but they don't get that yet.
That doesn't feel right, Sammy. *scooting closer to hopefully give him some love. And her love language was usually hugs and holding.* You're incredible, but I know that feeling of being alone. Or feeling like all you have is yourself. It hurts. What can I do to help you, even if its only helping you in this moment, sometimes its one minute at a time so...you want to focus on that?
