03/24/2023 01:45 PM  task: two She’d once heard that time was meant to heal all wounds but Mercedes was yet to see an ounce of truth in that. She still felt her heart break every time she watched the gymnastics portion of the Olympics, she still felt her heart break every time she felt a sharp pain in her leg that brought back memories of the fateful day her dreams came crashing down around her, and she still felt her heart break every time she thought of him. Her first real love and her first real heartbreak. It didn’t seem to matter that it had been a decade since he’d left and it didn’t seem to matter that she’d had two other serious relationships. Liam and Roxanne had meant a great deal to her, but neither of them had compared to him - her first love; her epic love. It had been almost a decade since she had last spoken to him and it still broke her heart to think about him. Her heart still skipped a beat at the mention of his name and her breath still caught in her throat, but it had been years and she needed to move on, she just didn’t know how to. After Joshua had left, Mercedes had written him a letter every single day for the first year. She never intended to actually post them, but she wanted to express herself; write down everything that she wished she’d had the courage to say to his face, including the fact that she was in love with him. He was her best friend and had been since she could remember, but at some point after puberty had hit, things had started to change. She couldn’t pin point when it started, but she also couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t been in love with him. Her letters, all 365 of them, told him how she felt, told him that she loved him, that she missed him, and how her day had been, as if he was still there. But some of them, the ones she had written on her bad days, they also told him that she hated him. She hated him for leaving, she hated him for breaking her heart, and she hated him making her love him. The only way she could move on was if she made herself believe that she hated him. It was the only way she knew of to try and repair her broken heart. One by one, Mercedes put each letter that she had written him into a box that she kept hidden in her closet. She thought that it might help; she could grieve a person that had walked out of her life and once she was done, she could close the lid on that box and move on with her life, but it hadn’t worked and Mercedes knew it never would; every relationship she had was just a band aid. After a year of writing letters to Josh that she would never send, Mercy tucked the box away and tried to move on. However, even when she packed up and left Savannah with just a small suitcase, the box of letters came with her. She knew that she should have just left them hidden in her closest, but she still wasn’t quite ready to let them go, or Josh. So, when Mercedes ended up in Las Vegas, the letters came with her, but she’d tossed them in a drawer and hadn’t looked at them. She hadn’t looked at them in almost a decade, not since they’d been written, but maybe it was time. Maybe it was time to finally let Joshua go. Taking a deep breath, Mercedes slowly opened the drawer and pulled out the box of letters. Her heart was racing and her stomach tied itself up in knots as she carried the box over to her bed and slowly took a seat. How could one person have such a huge effect on her? Biting down on the inside of her mouth, Mercedes slowly opened the lid of the box and took out the first letter. She unfolded it and slowly began to read it and before she knew it, she had read half a dozen. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks, leaving a trail of mascara in its wake and finally as she read each letter and as she relived her heartbreak, all she could think was,“How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay?”   0 Comments

03/17/2023 04:16 PM  spirit week Drabble The four-inch clover was meant to be lucky, wasn’t it? At least that was what Mercedes had heard, and right then, she needed all the luck that she could get! It had been six months since the accident and her dreams had been completely dashed. She’d never thought that one accident could change everything, but it had. A simple slip off the balancing beam had turned her world upside down, but she’d hoped that physical therapy would help her get her life and her dreams back on track. She pushed herself far too hard sometimes but it would all be worth it when she was standing up on that podium with a gold medal around her neck. Breathe. She needed to take a deep breath and calm her nerves or she knew she would make a mistake that had nothing to do with her injury. Closing her eyes for a moment, the 15-year-old walked through the doors of the gym and over towards her team. It was going to be now or never; she had convinced herself that she was okay and that she could do this, but now she just had to prove it. “Mercy! You’re back!” A small smile tugged at Mercedes’ lips when she heard Chloe, one of her best friends on her gymnastics team. “Didn’t think a silly little broken leg could keep me away, did you?!” She questioned as she wrapped her arms around Chloe for a tight embrace. It wasn’t just a silly little broken leg though. When she had fallen off the balancing beam, she had shattered her leg in three places, damaged her hip, and had been told she would be lucky to ever walk again without a limp. Pulling back, a small smirk tugged at her lips before she turned to her coach. This was it. This was the moment that she was waiting for; hr entire future was depending on this very moment. Biting down on the inside of her mouth, she glanced at the rest of her team for a brief moment before walking passed them in her shamrock colored leotards. Shamrock was her signature color, having worn it in every single competition since she was five. Her mother had tried to entice her to wear the color pink, but even then, Mercedes had been a stubborn child. A front-forward handspring seemed like the best place to start. It was something she’d done at least a thousand times, but the moment her legs were in the air and she was preparing to do a non-twisting roundoff, she wasn’t sure it was going to end well, and the moment her feet came into contact with the floor beneath her, her leg gave way. She could feel the tears filling the brims of her eyes as the realization hit. Her leg was in pain and she knew that if she couldn’t even do a simple stunt like this, her gymnastic dreams were over. Mercedes wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear but she didn’t want to cry in front of her team. “I’m okay,” she insisted as she slowly stood up with the help of Chloe. “I’m okay.” She wasn’t okay. She knew that, her coach knew that, her team knew that, but she needed to put on a brave face. “I um..” she couldn’t even think of a good enough lie at that moment. Turning, she pushed herself away from her friend and slowly walked out, unable to contemplate a future without handsprings and backflips.   0 Comments

03/14/2023 01:26 PM  spirit week task: Red Moodboard 0 Comments

03/11/2023 12:27 PM  bi weekly task “Take that dagger and stab her through the heart. If you don’t, I will.” The words seeped through her lips so effortlessly but the impact that that one sentence had on Mercedes felt like she had been punched in the stomach over and over again. Her heart had been shattered into a million pieces and she couldn’t breathe. She’d never experienced heartbreak before, but she didn’t think that feeling would even compare to how she was feeling at that moment. Her dreams were shattered and she didn’t know what she would do now. Turning her attention to her mother and sister, a tear escaped her eyelids and cascaded down her cheek, leaving a trail of mascara in its wake. “I’m sure that would hurt a lot less.” Hearing Mercedes, her mother rushed forward to the hospital where her daughter was laying and wrapped her arms tightly around the 15-year-old. “Hey baby, you’re awake,” she smiled, pressing a gentle kiss against Mercedes’ cheek. “We can get a second opinion. Or even a third or fourth,” she tried to reassure the teenager, but Mercedes knew that it was all over. Her leg had been shattered in three places and at that moment, the thought of trying to even walk on it terrified her, let alone applying the amount of pressure needed for the balance beam. Her dreams of winning gold at the Olympics were over and she had no idea what she was going to do with her life now. “No. It’s over,” Mercedes finally replied after a rather lengthy pause. She didn’t want to pretend that everything was going to be alright, not when she knew it wasn’t. Wiping another tear as it escaped, she took a deep breath and slowly rolled over. “I’m tired.” Mercedes loved her mother and her sister, and she knew that without their constant support, she’d never have even had a chance to compete as a gymnast, but now that her dreams were dashed, she needed some space. She needed some time to come to terms with what had happened and the direction her life now had to take. She needed to readjust and that would take time, but for now, Mercedes needed to cry, which she didn’t want to do in front of her mother.   0 Comments

03/07/2023 07:56 PM  owes list. i owe you Haven - Starter - March. 13 Journey - Starter - March. 22 Josh - Starter - March. 25 you owe me Ophelia - Starter - March. 3rd Updated: March. 25 0 Comments

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