07/24/2022 10:31 PM  AC #32 As a child summer was something Lily looked forward to. It meant spending time outside with her mother, having small adventures through their small town, and sitting beneath the large tree in the front yard with a picnic blanket, an assortment of fresh fruit, and stories upon stories to dive into. Those summers changed when she was thrust into the foster care system. Everything was unknown, the small moments of bliss were taken and replaced with fear and longing for a life she could no longer have. Now, there is a blend of the two. The life she had taken away from her and the life she grew into. When the first days of summer hit, Lily is often filled with dread. The heat is something to be avoided at all costs, the sunlight a sudden enemy and the airconditioned spaces become her best friend. As the sun starts to set on a blistering day, the bike comes out of its hiding place and Lily goes for an early evening ride. Basking in the twilight, allowing the last of the summer heat to seep into her skin as she forgets her troubles, forgets where she is and what’s waiting for her back at home. Stopping off at her favorite liquor store, a couple of bottles are picked up and rushed back home to chill. Some nights, she spends her time in front of the tv, under the air conditioner, and praying for this season to end. Others, she messages either Rhett or Lucy, attempting to convince them to leave their homes for the night and cause trouble in a way that only Lily knows how. Nights with Lucy are often chilled. A late-night beach trip with the refusal to step foot into the water, the warm sand beneath them, and the constant flow of conversation and laughter keeping their night alive. When the mood strikes, the two climb on the back of the bike and speed through the streets, seeing how many people they can wake from their slumber or how many police vehicles they can get to follow. Nights with Rhett are always more explosive. Once again, fuelled by alcohol and whatever substance the two can get their hands on, they meet in an open space with a bag full of fireworks at their feet. Balls of fire are fired at each other, laughter and the unmistakable bang of the fireworks echo throughout the night, the only time the war comes to an end is if someone gets hurt or the fireworks run out. They then go and celebrate the victor with the loser buying a round of drinks. The evenings Lily shares with her friends are what she lives for in the summer months. The longing for the life she once had is replaced with thanks for the life she is now living. All in all, throughout the summer months, Lily can’t wait for winter to start and counts down the days until the weather starts to turn.   0 Comments

07/10/2022 05:01 PM  AC #31 The long grass kissed her legs as she walked through it, her hands gently dusting the tops as she moved. A small smile crawled along her pout as she heard the children laughing and yelling behind her. Everything was peaceful here. People wanted for nothing; the tribe worked together to keep their small world safe from the outside. Her name was called, forcing her attention back toward the children. It was time. With a small nod, she turned and made her way back, gently patting a child’s head as she walked past them. There was an overwhelming feeling to protect them all, to save them from the horrors that she had seen at their age, but nothing was dangerous here. Lily walked barefoot towards the village, the feel of the dirt beneath her feet brought her peace. The sound of the children laughing behind her grew louder as they joined the femme, her smile growing wide as they ran past her towards the large bonfire in the middle of the village. Burning wood, the scent of meat wafting through the air pulled her towards the ceremony. The sound of drums filled her ears, the rhythm infectious as she found her body moving to the beat, all the while her smile never faded. She hadn’t felt so happy before. She was quick to join the others dancing around the fire, her arms moving along with the others to the beat of the drums, her laughter mixing with everyone else around her. To live in this world was like a dream. Everyone was safe, no one was hurt for another’s gain. Everyone worked together to make sure the entire tribe was safe and fed. It was a world that Lily longed for, to be protected and happy. The sound of another’s voice pulled her attention, her eyes slowly fluttering open, and landed on the figure opposite her. She was back in Maggie’s office. “You looked peaceful. From now on, when things start to become too much, I want you to picture whatever you saw.” Her voice was soft, kind like those in her vision. Slowly, she nodded her head and gifted the femme a warm smile. “Absolutely. I’ll always want to go back there.”   0 Comments

06/21/2022 08:19 PM  AC #30 A Day In The Life Of Lily Marie Bower   6am - Hear the alarm blaring on the bedside table and attack the snooze button until it gets stuck before rolling over and going back to sleep. 7am – Repeat 6am but panic a little because you think you’ve slept in for too long. Glare at the clock and realize you can sleep a little longer 8am – Finally crawl out of bed, shower, dress, and try to look like a normal human being for the day. Walk carefully out the bathroom, keeping an eye out for the demonic hell kitten and its sneak attacks from around every god damn corner. 8:46am – Cuss and yell at Pickles for jumping around the corner and attacking your legs and feet again. Tell Pickles that if he does it again, he’ll go live somewhere else. You know it’s a lie, he knows it a lie because you love the little hellspawn. 9:04am – Finally get out of the house and climb onto the bike to head to Motek for the morning coffee. Annoy Atarah until she kicks you out and tells you to hurry up and go to work otherwise, you’ll get yelled at again. Find a table outside and sit there for another twenty minutes scrolling through social media and if the mood strikes, take a selfie. 9:27am – Finally get to work and park in the normal spot but complain that it’s too far from the door and sit there for a minute debating whether you really want to go inside and have a productive day. 9:43am – 10am – Finally go inside because you need to be productive. Unlock the office door and grumble about the mess that you left the day before. Try to clean up before everyone else arrives but somehow make it worse. Make a note to hire someone who is super organized to help with the cluster f***. 10am – 1pm – Throw yourself into the workload, forgetting that you need to eat throughout the day and only stop when the hunger pains are consistent. Move into your back office and order something because you’re not organized enough to bring lunch from home. Sit down for an hour and pretend you don’t exist while sending Lucy all the memes you can find. 2pm – 6pm - Continue working until it gets dark outside, and you are the only one left in the garage. Finish up what you’re doing and lock up for the night. Climb back on the bike and head out to whatever bar takes your fancy for a little drink. 6pm – 7pm – Find a place that sells food as well and have dinner out because you know you can’t cook to save your life. Scarf down some food and a drink and realize that you’ve had enough of being in public and head home. 7pm – 8pm – Finally get home and forget that Pickles attacked you this morning. Go hunting for said demon spawn and force your love on the kitty before feeding him again and making sure he’s a happy little bean. 8pm – 10pm – Get a bottle of whiskey and pour a couple of drinks before sitting in front of the tv and either binge-watch a show or a movie. Periodically message people throughout the show/movie until you fall asleep on the couch. 12am – Wake up on the couch with a stiff neck and scamper off to bed, ready to repeat the same again the next day. 0 Comments

05/27/2022 06:28 PM  AC #28 Lil tried to lay low, she tried to keep her head down and stay out of trouble, but old habits die hard. Maybe it was the bar fight and the trip to jail that allowed him to find her.  She had believed she was safely tucked away in the back office of the garage, she thought she was safe each time she left her door unlocked for her friends to open whenever they wanted, but she was wrong. The truth sunk in as she made her way to her apartment door, noticing it open and her beloved gremlin sitting at the entrance. “What are you doing out here?” She cooed, picking up the cat and slowly pushing the door open. Venturing further into her home, her eyes scanned every corner until they landed on a familiar figure, her grip faltering on the animal in her arms and letting him go. “No.” She whispered, putting the cat down and taking a few steps back. Emerging from his corner, drink in hand, he approached the now terrified female. “You know, you were difficult to find, Lily. But I knew you’d slip up.” He said, his voice calm as the remaining drink was tipped past his lips. “Roman, so good to see you. Wh- What are you doing here?” Her voice shook as she tried to speak, as she backed up to the front door. She needed an escape from him, again. “You remember what I told you? I hope you do.” The glass was thrown to the ground, and he made a beeline for Lily. Scrambling backward, she turned and tried to run, hands reaching for the door until she felt a hand tangle in her hair and a violent tug backward, slamming her down on the floor. She tried to push away, she tried to once again move for the door but once his from came down on top of hers, she was stuck. His hand moved around her throat, squeezing her airway closed. Hand moved around his wrist, fingers digging into his hand as she tried to claw his hand from her throat. “You shouldn’t have done it, Lily. You shouldn’t have left like you did. You knew the cost. You knew I could come and find you.” He spat. Roman forced her up, pulling her onto her knees, his hand moving from her throat and clamping down on her neck. “Roman, you don’t have to do this. We can just go; we can go back and make things right.” Her voice trembled as she spoke, but she knew there was no hope in him listening to her, not after what she did. “You don’t get to speak.” As he spoke, he produced the gun hidden in his waistband and pressed it to her temple. “Now, you have two options, Lily.” He whispered, crouching down so she could hear him. “You can take your medicine like a big girl, or I can pull that little blonde girl you spend so much time with. I’ll put her in the same position that you’re in right now and you can watch her die before you.” “Leave her out of this, leave them all out of this.” As she spoke, he forced her hand to take his place on the gun, forcing her finger on the trigger. Roman breathed deep, his hand moving on top of hers, slowly pushing her finger down on the trigger. “When you go to meet your maker, you tell him what you did. I’m sure he’ll be waiting for you with open arms.” He spat. “Roman ple-“ Her sentence was cut short as her finger was forced on the trigger, her body slumping to the ground and the weapon clattering just in front of her. Roman stood over her lifeless body, staring at the girl who destroyed his life. “Burn in hell.”   0 Comments

05/13/2022 07:33 PM  AC 27 You don't need pixie dust to help you fly, you'll soar just fine on your own. “Lily, stop hiding and come to mama.” Her melodic voice rang through the small house. The tiny patter of footsteps bursting from behind the curtain along with the squeal of laughter. Arms enveloped the small child, Polly picking her up with ease and spinning around the kitchen. “Mama, you’re bad at hide and seek.” Lily’s voice rang through before she was placed back firmly on the ground. “We aren’t playing that anymore. I have a surprise for you.” Her mother’s smile was infectious as a second-hand copy of Peter and Wendy was plucked from the counter and held out to the five-year-old. Eyes grew wide as tiny hands reached for the book, gentle fingers brushing at the gold lettering of the title. Polly held her hand for her child to take, slowly guiding her to the small blanket set up in the front yard underneath the tree for their afternoon storytime. As soon as Polly sat down, Lily clambered into her lap pawing at the book to open to the first page. Brows furrowed in confusion at the handwritten message scrawled there. Tiny fingers reach out to touch the freshly written words.  Lily, You don’t need pixie dust to help you fly, you will soar just fine on your own. Love, Mama. Her tiny head tilted back, beaming up at her mother as she read the message out loud for the five-year-old. “I can fly like Tinkerbell?” She asked, not understanding the meaning behind the message. Polly simply nodded, kissed Lily’s head, and turned the page. "Yes, baby. You can fly just like Tinkerbell."  Lily sat on the edge of her bed with the book in her lap. Her eyes were closed as she relived the last happy memory of her mother. She could feel the afternoon sun kissing her skin, her mother’s voice changing bringing each character to life. She couldn’t bring herself to open the book, to see her mother’s hand and that message she had left behind. Tears slipped down her cheeks as fingers brushed over the cover. Finally, she mustered the courage to open the first page. Dark orbs flicked down and danced over the handwritten words sprawled on the page. “I’m sorry, mama.” She whispered, clutching the book to her chest as she sank down on the bed. “I’m not the girl you wanted me to be.” She hadn’t known how long she had been lying there clutching the last memory of her mother. Prying herself from her comfort zone, she started to ready herself for the upcoming event. As soon as she had heard about the time capsule, she knew exactly what she wanted to put inside. The last sliver of her innocence. 0 Comments

04/26/2022 02:59 PM  AC 26# A shadow clouded her office door with a now familiar figure. This man, Tony, had been coming in far too often for Lily’s liking. Sure, he was cute, but she wasn’t about to drop everything and go out with a stranger. Dark hues landed on him as a sigh parted her lips. “Don’t tell me you hit somethin’ else just to come and visit.” She said, pushing the small amount of paperwork away from her and focusing on him. “Ah, you see right through me.” He laughed, moving into her office and taking an empty seat. He seemed nervous, as he sat before Lily, fidgeting with the ring on his finger while avoiding eye contact. “Tony, why are you here? It’s not for the car.” Lily finally said, leaning back in her chair as she watched the male squirm under her gaze. He took a moment before speaking, finally meeting her gaze as he did so. “You need to get out of here. I’m not going to tell you how I know but… you need to leave.” A brow raised as he spoke, forcing Lily to sit up and really focus on what the male was saying. “I’m not going to tell you how I know but this place is going under. Information on your leaders have been given to the police and now they’re teeing up to arrest them and other affiliated with this cult.” Tony spoke fast as if the words were poison in his mouth. Lily nodded her head, letting his words sink in. “You’re brave to come in here and say that.” She stated, sitting back in her seat again. “I won’t leave, I can’t leave. I have a life here. Friends here. I can’t go back to the life I was living before this.” Her head shook as she spoke. The two sat in silence for a moment, each staring at the other waiting for someone to start talking. Tony caved and spoke first. “Again, can’t tell you how I know, and you can’t know why I can offer you this but… I can give you a clean slate. Every record, every connection to this life will be wiped away.” Disbelief was all Lily felt as those words left him. There was no way he could wipe away what she did. No one could. She’d be in prison if anyone else knew. Clearing her throat, she pushed herself from her seat and headed to the door, looking out at her employees going through their days. “As tempting as that is, I can’t leave. I’ve created a life here, a good life. Even if you try to wipe the past away, it will still be there. That damage is done, and it can’t be taken away.” She said, turning to face the male before extending her hand towards the door. “Now, I highly suggest you leave, and I’ll pretend that you didn’t say what you did. The longer you stay here the more inclined I will be to let my leaders know. We both know you don’t want that to happen.”   0 Comments

04/12/2022 10:27 PM  AC #25 Lily was minding her own business, a pamphlet for the next workshop she was to attend in her hand and a warm drink sat in front of her. Sanctum had changed her life; it had stopped her from falling into the depths of depravity. It had given her a home and people she considered family. A small smile played along her pout as she threw herself into the pamphlet. She didn’t notice the woman watching her read, she never noticed her standing up and claiming the seat opposite her until she cleared her throat. With a roll of her eyes, Lily lowered her reading and gazed at the person in front of her. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She said. “But what you’re reading is poisoning your mind.” Lily was taken aback, who was this woman? Why was she saying such things about the one place that saved her? “Well, that’s your opinion and I’m fairly certain I didn’t ask for it.” She spat back, glaring at the woman across from her as she tried to get back to her reading. The woman sighed, reaching out for Lily’s hand. “You need to distance yourself from these people. They are dangerous.” A scoff quickly escaped Lily’s pout, her head shaking as she tried to come to terms with what this lady was saying. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Sanctum saves people. Gives them a place to start again, and helps them with whatever they are carrying. You have no clue what you are talking about.” She shot back, snatching her hand away from the woman. “This place, those leaders are doing everything they can to help people. You should really open your mind to their teachings. Maybe come and have a look for yourself.” Her head tilted as she spoke. She figured if she had this woman in front of her she could try to recruit her into the folds. “For instance, this workshop is one about overcoming trauma. They go in-depth about how you can work to free yourself from the worst.” A small smile spread along her lips, and the paper in front of her was pushed to the woman. “You should come with me, take in the lesson.” The woman shook her head, almost recoiling from the paper as it slid over. “They are poisoning you. You should really leave while you have the chance.” She repeated, sliding out from her seat. Unable to accept the woman’s words, Lily quickly did the same and grabbed hold of her wrist. She believed this woman would benefit from a workshop or two, it wouldn’t hurt her if she tagged along. “I don’t see it that way. Just, come with me to this workshop. You’ll meet people and take in some great lessons. There is no harm in listening.” She said, her voice softening as she tried to convince the woman. Lily believed everyone could be saved. Thatcher and Maggie would do some incredible work with this woman. “At least come and meet Maggie. She’s lovely and I’m sure you two will hit it off.” Refusing to wait for an answer, Lily tugged the woman behind her, ignoring the protests spilling from her.   0 Comments

03/31/2022 07:36 PM  AC #24 Lost and Found. Flashes, everything came as flashes. The screams echoing, the feel of the ocean rushing at her, pulling her under as the ship sank behind her. Her body grew tired as she kicked and tried to fight her way to the surface, but the more she struggled the faster she sank. Her hands reached out to the surface of the water, praying someone would see her and pull her to safety, but no one did. She sat upright in bed drenched in a cold sweat. Another nightmare, another sleepless night. Climbing from the tangled mess that was her bed, she slunk out into the living room knowing that sleep was going to be avoided for another night. Since returning, all Lily had done was work, drink, and try to sleep. Anything to keep her mind busy and to catch up on the mountain of work that had piled up while stranded on the island. Nights were the worst. She didn’t want to call and annoy people while they tried to sleep, she couldn’t go to the garage and work on things without waking people with her bike and the blaring music she would play to drown everything else out. Nights were now reserved for drinking. Moving to the kitchen, she opened her constantly stocked cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. She had stayed sober for those ten days on the island, for her it felt like an eternity. She hadn’t been that long sober in years and it nearly destroyed her. Her mind flashed back to her and Tucker on the beach, the two trying to meditate and avoid the threatening breakdown yet tears still streamed down her cheeks. If he hadn’t taken her for a walk and taken her mind off things, it would have been a lot worse. Pulling herself from the memory she moved back to the sofa to make herself comfortable. It was going to be another long night. The bottle wasn’t enough, her vision blurred, and her head swam with the alcohol, but she still couldn’t stop thinking. Prying herself from her seat she moved to the bathroom, gripping the wall for balance. Stumbling her way to the cabinet, she flung the mirrored door open and gazed inside, hues grazing over the orange bottles lined inside until slender fingers wrapped around one. She didn’t know what they were, she didn’t care. Popping the top, she made her way back to the bottle, tossing back pills as she walked. Taking a large mouthful of the amber liquid and downing the mouthful, she flopped back onto the sofa, her head lulling backward as darkness claimed her. 0 Comments

03/16/2022 05:23 PM  AC #23 Emotional Control. Emotions were always difficult for Lily to control. She tried her best to stuff them down until they ended up exploding out of her in a fit of rage. She blamed her teenage years for how she felt. Held onto the trauma like a crutch, using it as an excuse for her actions. That is how she ended up here, sitting across from Maggie for the first time since she came here. “I know it was difficult for you to come here, Lily. It shows great courage for you to sit in that seat.” Her voice was soft, pleasant. All Lily could do was turn her head and try to focus on something else. “Lily. Where is all this rage coming from? You seem like such a sweet girl but all I can see is anger behind those eyes.” She reached out, as if to touch the raven-haired girl, but all Lily could do was recoil from her touch. “I don’t like being touched.” She finally said, dark hues fixing on Maggie for a moment before moving onto the shelves. “All I’ve felt is rage for a long time.” She breathed after a moment of silence. “What else can you feel when you become so damaged, so void of any other emotion?” Her question seemed to hang in the air before Lily could no longer handle the silence. “How else am I supposed to get across how I’m feeling if it isn’t using my fists or doing something reckless?” A small shake of her head followed. “Drinking helps numb everything. I don’t know how else to control these things. I don’t really have a stable person to learn from, you know?” A sympathetic look came from Maggie, forcing Lily to cringe at the sight. “You use your words. You write down how you’re feeling instead of hurting yourself or others. It is important to control these emotions, not just for you but for those who care about you. You’ll get the hang of it after a couple of exercises and some more session time.” The soft voice and caring sentiment started to break down some of Lily’s walls. “You say it like it’s so easy.” She sighed. “It’s taking more energy than I thought not to start throwing things around in here.” “It takes time and effort, Lily. These things take practice.” Maggie breathed slowly, scribbling down notes as she spoke. “You know the cruise that everyone is going on next week? There is a workshop talking about this very thing. I think it would be incredibly beneficial for you to go and take it. You might learn something.” A roll of those dark hues came but quickly stopped as she looked back at Maggie. “Yeah, I’ll stop by for a few minutes. See how it is.” Nodding as she spoke, her gaze shifting from Maggie to the floor. “Please do. And try to go sober. You’ll soak up more information.” 0 Comments

03/03/2022 10:26 PM  Em&Lily They'll never see us comin'. Moments like this were always treasured, especially when it was with her. Fingers intertwined, the laughter music to her ears. For the first time in a long time, she was happy. Truly happy. “You need to stop being such a p**sy and do it.” Her melodic voice sang through the laughter, the blue haired girl turning to grin at Lily. A coy smile tugged at her pout before quickly stopping in place, forcing Emily to stop in her tracks. “You need to stop being such a hot head or we’ll get arrested.” Lily laughed, tugging the girl into her arms. “Stop being the voice of reason and live a little.” A pout quickly formed on her lips, forcing Lily to roll her eyes. “You want to play tag with the cops, then that’s all on you, sweetheart.” Her forehead came to rest on Emily’s, a loving kiss placed on her pout as if to stop the argument in its place. Days had passed since she had heard from Emily. Worry for the girl filled her at every waking minute, nothing else crossed her mind but her. She needed to know if she was okay. Slamming down the phone after another missed call, she ran for the door. Something was wrong, she would never go this long without saying something. As she started down the street, all she could think of was their last phone call. “I’m fine, you don’t have to check in on me every five minutes.” Her head shook, her walk turning into a jog. “I check in on you because I love you, Em. You know this.” Panic gripped at her chest; her jog turned into a sprint. “Em.” She whispered as she moved, pushing past passers-by, forcing them to move out of her way. “EM!” She called, bounding up the steps to her apartment building. Where is she, is she okay? Where is she? The familiar door was soon upon her, fists beating against the wooden barrier as she called out her name. “Emily! Open the door!” Fingers wrapped around the handle, rattling the doorknob wanting nothing more for the girl to fling the door open and yell at her for being annoying. But it stayed shut. The pounding came harder, her shoulder thrown against the door until it finally gave under her. Falling into the room, she scrambled to her feet and ran to the bedroom. “Emily!” The bedroom door was open and there she was, asleep in the bed. Brows furrowed as she slowly approached, something was wrong. Her stomach clenched as she approached the bed. Why was she so still? Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she sunk down next to the blue haired girl, fingers wrapping around her arm to give her a little shake. “Em… wake up. W-We gotta go get this bike you wanted. They’ll never see us comin’.” Her voice broke as the female lay still, eyes fell to the needle stuck in her other arm. “Em, you have to wake up.” She pleaded, sobs wracking her chest with each breath she took. Lily climbed onto the bed, ripping the needle from her arm and throwing it as far as she could. Lying down beside her love, she wrapped her arms around her slender frame and drew her in close, placing a kiss to those lips one last time. “They’ll never see us comin.” 0 Comments

Previous12Next

View All Posts