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Age: 29
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04/17/2024 11:25 PM 

jimmy fallon.





















04/02/2024 08:38 PM 

easter




01/14/2024 09:42 PM 

CONFESSIONS.

Caroline's C'est vrai
a rare and candid tell all with hollywood's latest it girl.

It’s a few days after the new year and the TikTok megastar and household name in the fashion industry turned musician and actress, Caroline Tesfaye is in a reflective mood. “I’m feeling very grateful and feeling really content right now.” she says over zoom from her home in Bel Air wearing a vintage Marc Jacob’s vintage baby tee that says “love the skin you're in” printed over a nude Chloë Sevigny. She looks effortlessly chic despite saying that she had a better outfit planned but her sweet new baby had decided to ruin it by spitting up on it. She’s sweeter than I imagined though I can’t say that I’m exactly surprised. I ask her if she’s ready for this and I confirm that she’s looked over the questions and she’s comfortable. Despite all the rumors that tend to swirl around the enigma that is Caroline Tesfaye, I still find myself not wanting to cause all harm to the little ball of sunshine that is on the other side of the screen. “I did, I’m not scared, I try not to shy away from telling my truth.” she says and I start to wander if she’s comforting me or I’m comforting her.


With 2023 coming to a close, if you could pick one song to describe your year, what would you choose?
Sweet Girl by Fleetwood Mac

This last year was undeniably one of the largest in your career. From fashion to acting to entering your popstar era. You’ve been named as costume director for a few projects, even winning an academy award for best costumes, how does styling for film differ from designing for your own brand?
It’s somehow both extremely different and extremely alike. I find such freedom in both. With my brand, it’s sort of all my vision. From the second I think of an idea for a collection, to sketching, to making a pattern, it’s all my way of creating something that doesn’t exist already. It’s me telling my story through clothes and I love it. Designing has always been my first love as far as career goes. I started out making clothes for my dad to take to drag races. With costume designing, it’s not really my story, it’s their story and my interpretation of the story. It’s a character study. It’s the way to really put yourself in the mindset of characters because wardrobe can be very personal. So, it’s really fun to think about each and every character and what they would choose to put on for certain events or day to day life. It’s giving them that ability of a first impression and letting the clothes say what they can’t, or in some cases, letting clothing fill in the blanks for things that timing doesn’t allot for.
 
We know that you worked on both your husband’s tour and his show on HBO Max that he co-wrote. How is styling your husband different? And how was it working on his show?
I do most if not all of Abel’s styling. He appreciates clothes, and can dress himself when he wants but since we’ve been together, he leaves most of the clothing to me. It comes from a place of being both convenient because we get ready in the same place for things and also just from the fact that I know him better than anyone. I know what he likes and I usually know what vision he’s going for. Aside from the fact that I know what he has in his closet, I know what looks good on him and I also have all his measurements memorized. Abel will tell you that none of these things I’ve listed is at all the reason, it’s just simply that I am good at what I do and have excellent tastes. Working on The Idol was so different because his character Tedros is literally nothing like my husband despite the rumors that have floated around. He would never wear a women's pajama shirt to the club. He’d never tie a cheetah print robe tie on his head. Tedros is unhinged in a way that’s totally different than Abel. It also comes up a lot in that Tedros doesn’t have money but wants to portray that he does have money. Every piece that he wears, he thinks looks good but it just usually misses just a teeny bit. Tedros uses his clothes as a costume so he can pretend to be the man he thinks he is. I hate the rattail but I loved the opportunity to be apart of the project that he’d put so much of his time and effort into. He is the hardest worker I know, and I really, really, appreciated the time I got to spend working with him.

There’s a lot of backlash on The Idol, and I feel that you can offer some of the most unique perspectives. How do you feel about people saying that Tedros is just a way for your husband to play himself? Or is it just an excuse to be able to hook up with a co-star despite being a married man? Does some of the fans' inability to separate fact from fiction ever get to you?
First and foremost, Abel is not Tedros. Tedros is not Abel. Tedros is a character that was written to be hated. If you hate him, it’s because my husband has done his job so well. He’s not the hero in this story by all means. Abel is the sweetest of people, he’s kind to his bones and he’d never be this type of person that they’ve created. I think the hooking up thing is so silly, because my husband didn’t offer up our house, put tons and tons of money into this, just so he can hook up with someone. He doesn’t need to do all that. Have you seen him? But aside from that and also that we have an incredibly healthy marriage. We’re very much in love and we’re never looking for love anywhere else because we get exactly what we want and need and more from each other. I also was on set for all of the more stripped down scenes for that very reason. I also was able to provide some comfort to Lily as well, it’s a vulnerable thing to film a sex scene. It’s not sexy at all. It’s very strategic and it’s grueling. Just because the world got to know Abel as a musician first, doesn’t mean that he can’t act and that this entire show is a work of fiction, he’s no different than Penn Bagley playing Joe Goldberg in “You”.

You said that you were on set for all the spicy scenes, can you explain to us what that was like? Was it uncomfortable? Is it hard not to feel jealous?
It’s like any other day on set, it’s just more closed to protect everyone. It’s very much choreographed. I was not jealous at all, we’re both in the industry and acting is totally not the same as real life. Everything is planned beforehand. There’s plenty of precautions and barriers and tricky camera angles to let you assume what’s happening is happening and it’s real for the characters. You have to remember that Tedros is f***ing around, and not Abel. Abel is very much respectful of everyone. He’s respectful of his costars and would never put them in a situation where they were ever uncomfortable. And even more than that, Abel is very respectful of me, and would never, even for the sake of a project, do anything to make me feel any type of way. In fact, when they were trying to work out the scenes, Sam would call me in and let Abel do them with me first, to sort of find the way to match that passion and find out how to make it somehow both very calculated and natural. Sex scenes are nothing to be jealous of, I can assure you. It’s the same way he wouldn’t care if I had them.
 
You’ve been relatively public with your relationship from the start, what are some of the challenges in that and do you regret letting the world in on your love?
I don’t regret it, no. I don’t think that we could keep it a secret even if we wanted to. Mostly because we’re always together, and it’s not like we’d take other dates to red carpets. It was never a super big decision we made, it was just that we knew we were going to be together forever so what was the point in taking great lengths in hiding? I wouldn’t say there’s any super large challenges but there is always the double edge sword of having everyones opinions. It took awhile, but I used to be really upset by all the comments that didn’t like me for Abel. It was hard to see fans who adore him just rip me to shreds. It’s also very strange the things that people like to grasp onto to make assumptions. An example is Abel has a necklace, well we have matching ones, but he wears his all the time. It’s gold and it’s engraved on the back with my handwriting and he wears it pretty much every day. But he will occasionally switch it out for something else if the look requires or if it’s getting cleaned, we’re very serious about taking care of all jewelry. It’s kind of our thing. But people will start losing their sh*t being like, “Abel and Caroline broke up!!! He’s not wearing his necklace!!” and I’m like what in the world? I think that’s probably the only challenge because people find things that you’d never even think of.

There’s quite a few people who have expressed their disappointment that you’re no longer family or child friendly. What do you have to say to those who feel that way?
I don’t think I’ve ever claimed to be family friendly. Sure, there’s plenty of my content that is totally appropriate for all ages. I even have a playlist on my TikTok that is all of my G-rated, E-for everyone content. I love children, I have a child. I love meeting them and that they’re excited to meet me. I do my best in creating a wide range of content in all different forms because I am a multifaceted person. I have multiple interests and I like to share them with my fans of all ages. But at the end of the day, I’m a grown woman. I don’t know if people really let that sink in. I don’t know if it's because I started doing this so young that they still see me as that fifteen year old, but I’m a twenty seven year old married woman with a baby. I’m not a kid, and I haven’t been a kid for quite some time. And I feel like you sort of have to remember that I’m the daughter of a Drag Queen. Drag Queens push all the limits all of the time. I think that when you really think about who I’m surrounded with, the idea that I’m a completely family friendly person is honestly such a stretch. I mean, my dad is Katya Zomo, my godmother is Trixie Mattel, my fairy godmother is Ru Paul. Ru named herself that since he wasn’t going to be around to do all the godmother things. I’m married to The Weeknd. I think we need to normalize letting, especially women in the industry, to create all the content that they want. Let me have a barbie on the market, make plenty of disney contents and make up videos, but also, let me be a woman and make more content that’s more suitable for those of age.
Speaking of your Barbie, due to the scandal of your sextape leaking, bonkers toys quickly removed all of your dolls from shelves and stopped production. Do you feel that is fair?
I don’t. I really don’t. I was really sad to see the dolls go. I worked really hard on them and I had designed and sewn the outfits that come with them myself before they went to be mass made. I made a barbie that didn't stick thin, because I’m not thin. I spent a lot of my life fighting an eating disorder that was put on by the pressures of society so I made a more easily relatable doll. But, what’s so hard, and so confusing about the backlash this video has brought is that I rarely see people acknowledge the fact that this tape was leaked. It was stolen from me and posted for the world to see without my permission at all. But at the end of the day, the narrative around this should change. This video was from my wedding night. As far as morals go, even though I don’t agree with a lot of that bullsh*t, what leaked was a special night between me and my husband. We as a society need to stop shaming women for everything. I fully agree that my sex tape has no business on the internet, it wasn’t made for anyone to see other than myself and my husband. I have to wonder sometimes if the uproar about this is that I am willingly giving myself over to the love of my life because sometimes I believe that men don’t want to see women feeling good and confident during sex. I found it to be terribly unfair to be punished so intensely when the tape was stolen. Our privacy was stolen. Our wedding night, the night that is so deeply personal and special, was stolen.

What do you have to say about those women (Karen’s in my opinion) who make videos claiming you aren’t a fit mother?
I mean, those are the comments that have always hurt more than anything else because I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long. Abel and I tried to get pregnant for over a year before we were able to finally see that plus sign on a test. I don’t speak often about my childhood, I tend to try and block most of that out until I was adopted by my dad, but I can say that I know what a non-fit parent looks like. I grew up with a terrible parent. The worst of the worst, in my opinion, and I know that I am a far better parent than he was. I am not really a brag type of person, and I don’t feel the need to toot my own horn often, but I am a great mother. I am most myself in being a mother. London is the most loved little girl in the world and doing right by her is my top priority every single day. And when you press these people for reasons as to why I wouldn’t be a good mother, it all boils down to content that they don’t like. It’s like their grasping for straws trying to use shaking my ass on tik tok as an excuse, or that I used to party heavy with Birdie. They’ll even start pointing fingers claiming that since my dad is Katya that I have no idea what a good parent even looks like. Because of that, I tend to feel a little more heated about the whole thing. I try not to pop off in the comments, but it happens sometimes, but my dad is the best dad in the world. I stand by that. Being raised in the toughest part of my life, being a teenager is f***ing brutal, by a drag queen is the reason that I can feel comfortable in my own body. I can feel safe expressing myself in any way that I see fit. I always had room to play, try new things and grow as a person. I also find it offensive because I’m extremely close to my mother in law, she’s an incredible mom and woman that I learn from every single day. She deserves that credit. Not to mention my grandmother who has the most unconditional love to give.
 
With all the comments like that, do you think there’s a reason that people sort of turned on you?
I do have an idea of the reason and it’s honestly disgusting. Sometimes when I click on the profile of the people saying these crazy things, they’ll have tons and tons of fan edits of me and Bryce Hall. Despite the fact that Bryce himself isn’t a stranger to scandal. It really shows how little people really do know about the people they watch and comment on behind the screen because Bryce and I were never actually dating. We never claimed to be dating. We just amped up what got the most likes. So, it’s always kind of funny to me to see that they’re out here riding so hard for something that wasn’t even real. How can you call people “soulmates” or “in love” when you’re seeing a one minute long dance? Aside from the fact, I won’t accept anyone calling anyone other than Abel my soulmate. He’s my husband, the love of my life, and the father of my child, he deserves those titles, he’s earned them. But I think a lot of it is a race thing. Because you know, Bryce goes to jail for punching a cop and he’s instantly forgiven. Excuses are made for him that they accept with little to no questioning, but Abel punches a cop, years ago before we were even together and that is always brought up in a negative light. So, sometimes I wonder if the fact that I’m married to a black man is what the underlying issue these people now have with me. And if that’s the case, I have no room in my life for that and losing them as fans is trash taking itself out.

Speaking of Bryce Hall, if this is something that you’re able to talk about, we know that the Hype House is starting an all legal war by suing you about lost wages. Was this something that blindsided you?
Honestly, it did, because I had thought that we were all friends. I left the Hype House for more than one reason, but I did think that we parted ways the best that we could and I didn’t really think there were hard feelings. I was sure that they were salty about me leaving, but I had figured that they’d just move on and fill my spot. But instead, I am being sued by the people that I would’ve said were my friends a few months ago.
 
Why did you leave the Hype House? We’ve heard that they have been making some wild claims about you and your husband and the reasons that you left The Hype House, and even going on the record to say that you have turned your back on your fans and the reason that you have a career in the first place.
I don’t know how much I can say, but I think if I’m vague enough, it’ll be okay. I can’t wait to be able to speak about my experiences more candidly. I left the Hype House for a few reasons, one being that it simply wasn’t a safe place for me anymore. I didn’t feel safe or cared for. I was overworked to the point of almost exhaustion. When Abel and I first got together, there was a time in which he had to take me to the hospital just because I collapsed from exhaustion. I also grew up and grew out of the Hype House. I felt very out of place there because I was grown, if that makes sense. I was a woman, not a teenager anymore, I was working on bigger things than dance videos, and on top of that, I had met the love of my life. Why wouldn’t I want to live with him? It was time for me to go, and I never would have guessed that they would be taking me to court.

You mentioned feeling grown, and in love, how did you know that your husband was different? What made this relationship better than your previous ones? Especially that with Vinny Sixx who is backing the hype house in this court battle.
I wish that I could say something that didn’t sound so terribly cliche, but I fell in love with Abel the moment that I saw him. I walked into his house for our first day and I never walked out, really. He just knew me.I don’t know how to explain how it felt like coming home. He felt like home. I think there’s something that’s so magical about falling in love so quickly, so deeply and so truly and having that love returned back to you. I couldn’t ask for anything better. He saved my life, he changed my life and he always loved me in the way that I needed. I think the biggest difference is that I never loved Vinny. I couldn’t have loved Vinny, I was groomed. This man met me when I was 15 years old and pursued me for years. He spent his time tearing me down in hopes to isolate me further. I don’t think he ever loved me either. I think he loved the idea of me, and the clout. Because I’ve learned that love doesn’t hurt, you know? I had no business being in a relationship with a man that was over a decade older than I was and I am so glad that I was able to get out of that and find my human. At the end of the day, when you know. You know. And if love doesn’t feel like the best thing in the world, then it’s not your soulmate.
 
You recently captioned an instagram post with, “music is never about the music, if it was, we’d write songs about guitars. But we don’t, we write music about women." Which is a quote from Daisy Jones and The Sixx, corrected? You’ve been the muse of two artists, Vinny asks Mod Sun to be very verbal and open that “Karma” is about you. And we know that some of The Weeknd’s Dawn FM album, specifically “Starry Eyes” is about you, how does it feel to hear these very different opinions of you in lyrical form?
I mean, I’ll be honest, I haven’t really listened to Karma much. I’ve only listened to it fully twice, once when someone sent it to me and then once to show Abel. I think it’s really funny that he wrote a song about “lying” when he spent the entirety of our relationship lying to me and cheating and everything else under the sun. I think he really thought that he was reading me to filth with this song, but in reality, I did get everything that I deserved and it was a happy life with my husband, a perfect little baby, a loving family and a career that keeps me so busy and fulfilled. So yeah, Karma is a bitch, but it feels like he’s the one getting the other end of that. He thought that he was really clever with the “XOXO” but you know, if it ain’t xo, then it’s gotta go. As far as Starry Eyes goes, it’s the most lovely thing in the world. Abel puts his entire heart, soul, mind and body into his albums. Singing is his love language and to hear him sing his love for me has always been my favorite part. Starry Eyes will forever be a song that gives me butterflies and makes me feel loved. I’m eternally grateful to have it.

Some fans are always dissecting songs and lyrics looking for meanings behind them. Now that you’ve started creating your own album, how does that make you feel? Are you someone who writes from experience?
I think something that people who haven’t made music don’t really think about is the fact that you can write a true song about experiences but it doesn’t have to be your experience. It can be inspired by anything and anyone, sometimes songs are just good songs. I know a lot of people have gotten tripped up on Abel’s latest album and getting bent out of shape about “I heard you’re married”. Just remember at the end of the day, at least Abel and I, we are capable of writing songs that aren’t about us. We have plenty of songs about us, don’t worry, some that you’ve heard and some that you will hear, and even some that you’ll never hear. There’s plenty of songs on my album about Abel, and I think it’ll be easy to tell, but I also have a song with Nori, who is one of our best friends, and there’s no weird affair sh*t there. It’s just a fire song that we wrote for just having fun.
If you could describe your album, how would you do so?
Um, XO is very early 2000’s pop princess vibes, it’s very sexy and fun. It also has some more “house music” vibes as well, because you know, you can take the girl out to the party but you can’t take the party out of the girl. It’s about an equal mix of the two. Some songs are about feeling so good in a relationship and feeling sexy because of that, and about how much better it can be. Some are more songs that I would’ve wanted to hear while Birdie and I were getting ready to go out and songs that I want girly pops to post when they need to shade some d*ckbag. It’s a fun album, it’s an album to make you dance, and it’s an album that reminds y’all to not take everything so serious. Just have fun, it’s okay to do that, too.

Caroline explains that, a little like superstar and fellow Louisiana native Britney Spears, that music was always part of the plan and she was a bit devastated when her album leaked because it wasn’t ready and she wanted to put something out that she was proud of. For awhile after the leak, she’d decided that she wouldn’t touch that side of Hollywood since the choice was taken away from her, but now that she’s sat with it, she’s wrote more songs and she’s added the help of one international popstar, who just happens to be her husband, she’s ready to share the music she created with the world. “I’ve sat with these songs for long enough, I think that it’s an album I’m proud of and I’m so nervous and so excited to share what wasn’t leaked” she says.

Does Abel have a favorite song on your album and does it match yours?
Abel does have a favorite song on the album, we’ve recorded a little album reaction that’ll be up soon, but I can spoil it a little bit, his favorite song is Nothing On (But the Radio) and he’s really not shy about telling me that. I don’t know if I have a favorite because they all are different and special in their own way. I think I got it bad and Madeline might be my favorite but because they were written about my two favorite humans in the world, my husband and my best friend.

We’ve seen you pop up around LA giving us little sneak peeks of the album, are you hinting at a Caroline Tesfaye tour? And if you are, do you think you’ll tour with your husband or do you think you’ll continue to collaborate with DJ’s like Discolines?
I mean, I’ll be honest, I haven’t really thought about a tour as of yet. We just had a baby, and I’m not sure if we’re planning on going on tour at least right now. I also don’t feel like I’m anywhere near talented enough to be on the same stage as my husband. He’s the most talented human in the world, and I am just lucky to love him and be loved by him. Aside from that, I’m about to start filming for Animal Friends (Caroline's latest starring role with Ryan Reynolds and Aubrey Plaza). I’m also working on a really cool and super hush hush project with Birdie. We’re rehearsing almost daily for Hamilton and I’m just not sure that I could give the energy a tour deserves right now. I also don’t want to overwork myself and spend more time away from the London Moon. I’m really happy just having some time at home with our family.

Do you think that you’ll be adding “Broadway baby” to your long list of career successes? Will you continue being on stage after the “One Last Time: Hamilton Revival” or is this a passion project that is one and done?
I don’t really like to put any limits on anything. I love Broadway and I’d love to do more of that. But Hamilton is a passion project and it’s the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, really. I went from like dabbling in singing to having to be able to sing for hours. I was pregnant when rehearsals started and it was exhausting but it’s so much fun and it’s truly a dream of mine to be able to just meet the original cast let alone share the stage with them. I love each and everyone of them and they’ve really made me feel like part of their family. This cast is special and it feels so much like these are friends that I’ll have for life after this.

Do you have a dream Broadway role that you're just dying to be cast in?
Honestly, Eliza is my dream role and it's so surreal that it's happening. I can't believe it most days, but I really love the theatre, so I think I'd love to play Eurydice in Hadestown, Lydia in Beetlejuice, Sophie in Mamma Mia, I think being Sandy in Grease would be super fun, too. Um, Juliet in & Juliet, Roxie in Chicago, and maybe Ariel in Footloose. wow, I did not mean to have this many, but uh, if you're casting these, call a girl up. I'll do it for free.

Do you think that there will be a project that has the name Mr & Mrs The Weeknd attached to it?
I mean, easy answer, is yes because we’ve already worked together. We have a tequila brand that is honestly really cool, I help with After Hours (the club) and we’re working on opening another property and a jewelry brand. But I’m assuming your asking as far as acting and music goes and with that I’ll say, you’ll just have to wait and see.

People are always calling you an “it girl” and especially as of late, being obsessed with your sense of style. “#Caroline street style” is always trending on twitter. What is a trend that you wish would go and what’s a trend you hope comes back?
Ugh, this is going to get me in trouble, but I’m so bored of this “clean girl aesthetic”. I mean, you guys look lovely, and get that facial glow but it’s boring. You’re not expressing yourself at all and you’re not having fun. I want more drowning in glitter, smudged eyeliner and lips all red from making out. Clean girl isn’t even an aesthetic, it’s just the lack of it. It’s just a sad beige mom for people without kids. It’s annoying because you watch these “get ready with me” videos and they make it seem like their skin is super clear just from the products they're selling, not because they see an esthetician twice a week dropping thousands of dollars. It’s boring. Perfection is boring.

I can’t tell you how much fun I’ve had having this little conversation with you, so here’s our last question, what era is Caroline Tesfaye going into for 2024?
Um, somewhere between dirty filthy pop girl and plant mom era caroline. Normalize that we can have so many sides of ourselves.

01/14/2024 09:42 PM 

CONFESSIONS.

C'est vrai.
caroline tesfaye speaks her own truth. 

It’s a few days after the new year and the TikTok megastar and household name in the fashion industry turned musician and actress, Caroline Tesfaye is in a reflective mood. “I’m feeling very grateful and feeling really content right now.” she says over zoom from her home in Bel Air wearing a vintage Marc Jacob’s vintage baby tee that says “love the skin you're in” printed over a nude Chloë Sevigny. She looks effortlessly chic despite saying that she had a better outfit planned but her sweet new baby had decided to ruin it by spitting up on it. She’s sweeter than I imagined though I can’t say that I’m exactly surprised. I ask her if she’s ready for this and I confirm that she’s looked over the questions and she’s comfortable. Despite all the rumors that tend to swirl around the enigma that is Caroline Tesfaye, I still find myself not wanting to cause all harm to the little ball of sunshine that is on the other side of the screen. “I did, I’m not scared, I try not to shy away from telling my truth.” she says and I start to wander if she’s comforting me or I’m comforting her.


With 2023 coming to a close, if you could pick one song to describe your year, what would you choose?
Sweet Girl by Fleetwood Mac

This last year was undeniably one of the largest in your career. From fashion to acting to entering your popstar era. You’ve been named as costume director for a few projects, even winning an academy award for best costumes, how does styling for film differ from designing for your own brand?
It’s somehow both extremely different and extremely alike. I find such freedom in both. With my brand, it’s sort of all my vision. From the second I think of an idea for a collection, to sketching, to making a pattern, it’s all my way of creating something that doesn’t exist already. It’s me telling my story through clothes and I love it. Designing has always been my first love as far as career goes. I started out making clothes for my dad to take to drag races. With costume designing, it’s not really my story, it’s their story and my interpretation of the story. It’s a character study. It’s the way to really put yourself in the mindset of characters because wardrobe can be very personal. So, it’s really fun to think about each and every character and what they would choose to put on for certain events or day to day life. It’s giving them that ability of a first impression and letting the clothes say what they can’t, or in some cases, letting clothing fill in the blanks for things that timing doesn’t allot for.
 
We know that you worked on both your husband’s tour and his show on HBO Max that he co-wrote. How is styling your husband different? And how was it working on his show?
I do most if not all of Abel’s styling. He appreciates clothes, and can dress himself when he wants but since we’ve been together, he leaves most of the clothing to me. It comes from a place of being both convenient because we get ready in the same place for things and also just from the fact that I know him better than anyone. I know what he likes and I usually know what vision he’s going for. Aside from the fact that I know what he has in his closet, I know what looks good on him and I also have all his measurements memorized. Abel will tell you that none of these things I’ve listed is at all the reason, it’s just simply that I am good at what I do and have excellent tastes. Working on The Idol was so different because his character Tedros is literally nothing like my husband despite the rumors that have floated around. He would never wear a women's pajama shirt to the club. He’d never tie a cheetah print robe tie on his head. Tedros is unhinged in a way that’s totally different than Abel. It also comes up a lot in that Tedros doesn’t have money but wants to portray that he does have money. Every piece that he wears, he thinks looks good but it just usually misses just a teeny bit. Tedros uses his clothes as a costume so he can pretend to be the man he thinks he is. I hate the rattail but I loved the opportunity to be apart of the project that he’d put so much of his time and effort into. He is the hardest worker I know, and I really, really, appreciated the time I got to spend working with him.

There’s a lot of backlash on The Idol, and I feel that you can offer some of the most unique perspectives. How do you feel about people saying that Tedros is just a way for your husband to play himself? Or is it just an excuse to be able to hook up with a co-star despite being a married man? Does some of the fans' inability to separate fact from fiction ever get to you?
First and foremost, Abel is not Tedros. Tedros is not Abel. Tedros is a character that was written to be hated. If you hate him, it’s because my husband has done his job so well. He’s not the hero in this story by all means. Abel is the sweetest of people, he’s kind to his bones and he’d never be this type of person that they’ve created. I think the hooking up thing is so silly, because my husband didn’t offer up our house, put tons and tons of money into this, just so he can hook up with someone. He doesn’t need to do all that. Have you seen him? But aside from that and also that we have an incredibly healthy marriage. We’re very much in love and we’re never looking for love anywhere else because we get exactly what we want and need and more from each other. I also was on set for all of the more stripped down scenes for that very reason. I also was able to provide some comfort to Lily as well, it’s a vulnerable thing to film a sex scene. It’s not sexy at all. It’s very strategic and it’s grueling. Just because the world got to know Abel as a musician first, doesn’t mean that he can’t act and that this entire show is a work of fiction, he’s no different than Penn Bagley playing Joe Goldberg in “You”.

You said that you were on set for all the spicy scenes, can you explain to us what that was like? Was it uncomfortable? Is it hard not to feel jealous?
It’s like any other day on set, it’s just more closed to protect everyone. It’s very much choreographed. I was not jealous at all, we’re both in the industry and acting is totally not the same as real life. Everything is planned beforehand. There’s plenty of precautions and barriers and tricky camera angles to let you assume what’s happening is happening and it’s real for the characters. You have to remember that Tedros is f***ing around, and not Abel. Abel is very much respectful of everyone. He’s respectful of his costars and would never put them in a situation where they were ever uncomfortable. And even more than that, Abel is very respectful of me, and would never, even for the sake of a project, do anything to make me feel any type of way. In fact, when they were trying to work out the scenes, Sam would call me in and let Abel do them with me first, to sort of find the way to match that passion and find out how to make it somehow both very calculated and natural. Sex scenes are nothing to be jealous of, I can assure you. It’s the same way he wouldn’t care if I had them.
 
You’ve been relatively public with your relationship from the start, what are some of the challenges in that and do you regret letting the world in on your love?
I don’t regret it, no. I don’t think that we could keep it a secret even if we wanted to. Mostly because we’re always together, and it’s not like we’d take other dates to red carpets. It was never a super big decision we made, it was just that we knew we were going to be together forever so what was the point in taking great lengths in hiding? I wouldn’t say there’s any super large challenges but there is always the double edge sword of having everyones opinions. It took awhile, but I used to be really upset by all the comments that didn’t like me for Abel. It was hard to see fans who adore him just rip me to shreds. It’s also very strange the things that people like to grasp onto to make assumptions. An example is Abel has a necklace, well we have matching ones, but he wears his all the time. It’s gold and it’s engraved on the back with my handwriting and he wears it pretty much every day. But he will occasionally switch it out for something else if the look requires or if it’s getting cleaned, we’re very serious about taking care of all jewelry. It’s kind of our thing. But people will start losing their sh*t being like, “Abel and Caroline broke up!!! He’s not wearing his necklace!!” and I’m like what in the world? I think that’s probably the only challenge because people find things that you’d never even think of.

There’s quite a few people who have expressed their disappointment that you’re no longer family or child friendly. What do you have to say to those who feel that way?
I don’t think I’ve ever claimed to be family friendly. Sure, there’s plenty of my content that is totally appropriate for all ages. I even have a playlist on my TikTok that is all of my G-rated, E-for everyone content. I love children, I have a child. I love meeting them and that they’re excited to meet me. I do my best in creating a wide range of content in all different forms because I am a multifaceted person. I have multiple interests and I like to share them with my fans of all ages. But at the end of the day, I’m a grown woman. I don’t know if people really let that sink in. I don’t know if it's because I started doing this so young that they still see me as that fifteen year old, but I’m a twenty seven year old married woman with a baby. I’m not a kid, and I haven’t been a kid for quite some time. And I feel like you sort of have to remember that I’m the daughter of a Drag Queen. Drag Queens push all the limits all of the time. I think that when you really think about who I’m surrounded with, the idea that I’m a completely family friendly person is honestly such a stretch. I mean, my dad is Katya Zomo, my godmother is Trixie Mattel, my fairy godmother is Ru Paul. Ru named herself that since he wasn’t going to be around to do all the godmother things. I’m married to The Weeknd. I think we need to normalize letting, especially women in the industry, to create all the content that they want. Let me have a barbie on the market, make plenty of disney contents and make up videos, but also, let me be a woman and make more content that’s more suitable for those of age.
Speaking of your Barbie, due to the scandal of your sextape leaking, bonkers toys quickly removed all of your dolls from shelves and stopped production. Do you feel that is fair?
I don’t. I really don’t. I was really sad to see the dolls go. I worked really hard on them and I had designed and sewn the outfits that come with them myself before they went to be mass made. I made a barbie that didn't stick thin, because I’m not thin. I spent a lot of my life fighting an eating disorder that was put on by the pressures of society so I made a more easily relatable doll. But, what’s so hard, and so confusing about the backlash this video has brought is that I rarely see people acknowledge the fact that this tape was leaked. It was stolen from me and posted for the world to see without my permission at all. But at the end of the day, the narrative around this should change. This video was from my wedding night. As far as morals go, even though I don’t agree with a lot of that bullsh*t, what leaked was a special night between me and my husband. We as a society need to stop shaming women for everything. I fully agree that my sex tape has no business on the internet, it wasn’t made for anyone to see other than myself and my husband. I have to wonder sometimes if the uproar about this is that I am willingly giving myself over to the love of my life because sometimes I believe that men don’t want to see women feeling good and confident during sex. I found it to be terribly unfair to be punished so intensely when the tape was stolen. Our privacy was stolen. Our wedding night, the night that is so deeply personal and special, was stolen.

What do you have to say about those women (Karen’s in my opinion) who make videos claiming you aren’t a fit mother?
I mean, those are the comments that have always hurt more than anything else because I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long. Abel and I tried to get pregnant for over a year before we were able to finally see that plus sign on a test. I don’t speak often about my childhood, I tend to try and block most of that out until I was adopted by my dad, but I can say that I know what a non-fit parent looks like. I grew up with a terrible parent. The worst of the worst, in my opinion, and I know that I am a far better parent than he was. I am not really a brag type of person, and I don’t feel the need to toot my own horn often, but I am a great mother. I am most myself in being a mother. London is the most loved little girl in the world and doing right by her is my top priority every single day. And when you press these people for reasons as to why I wouldn’t be a good mother, it all boils down to content that they don’t like. It’s like their grasping for straws trying to use shaking my ass on tik tok as an excuse, or that I used to party heavy with Birdie. They’ll even start pointing fingers claiming that since my dad is Katya that I have no idea what a good parent even looks like. Because of that, I tend to feel a little more heated about the whole thing. I try not to pop off in the comments, but it happens sometimes, but my dad is the best dad in the world. I stand by that. Being raised in the toughest part of my life, being a teenager is f***ing brutal, by a drag queen is the reason that I can feel comfortable in my own body. I can feel safe expressing myself in any way that I see fit. I always had room to play, try new things and grow as a person. I also find it offensive because I’m extremely close to my mother in law, she’s an incredible mom and woman that I learn from every single day. She deserves that credit. Not to mention my grandmother who has the most unconditional love to give.
 
With all the comments like that, do you think there’s a reason that people sort of turned on you?
I do have an idea of the reason and it’s honestly disgusting. Sometimes when I click on the profile of the people saying these crazy things, they’ll have tons and tons of fan edits of me and Bryce Hall. Despite the fact that Bryce himself isn’t a stranger to scandal. It really shows how little people really do know about the people they watch and comment on behind the screen because Bryce and I were never actually dating. We never claimed to be dating. We just amped up what got the most likes. So, it’s always kind of funny to me to see that they’re out here riding so hard for something that wasn’t even real. How can you call people “soulmates” or “in love” when you’re seeing a one minute long dance? Aside from the fact, I won’t accept anyone calling anyone other than Abel my soulmate. He’s my husband, the love of my life, and the father of my child, he deserves those titles, he’s earned them. But I think a lot of it is a race thing. Because you know, Bryce goes to jail for punching a cop and he’s instantly forgiven. Excuses are made for him that they accept with little to no questioning, but Abel punches a cop, years ago before we were even together and that is always brought up in a negative light. So, sometimes I wonder if the fact that I’m married to a black man is what the underlying issue these people now have with me. And if that’s the case, I have no room in my life for that and losing them as fans is trash taking itself out.

Speaking of Bryce Hall, if this is something that you’re able to talk about, we know that the Hype House is starting an all legal war by suing you about lost wages. Was this something that blindsided you?
Honestly, it did, because I had thought that we were all friends. I left the Hype House for more than one reason, but I did think that we parted ways the best that we could and I didn’t really think there were hard feelings. I was sure that they were salty about me leaving, but I had figured that they’d just move on and fill my spot. But instead, I am being sued by the people that I would’ve said were my friends a few months ago.
 
Why did you leave the Hype House? We’ve heard that they have been making some wild claims about you and your husband and the reasons that you left The Hype House, and even going on the record to say that you have turned your back on your fans and the reason that you have a career in the first place.
I don’t know how much I can say, but I think if I’m vague enough, it’ll be okay. I can’t wait to be able to speak about my experiences more candidly. I left the Hype House for a few reasons, one being that it simply wasn’t a safe place for me anymore. I didn’t feel safe or cared for. I was overworked to the point of almost exhaustion. When Abel and I first got together, there was a time in which he had to take me to the hospital just because I collapsed from exhaustion. I also grew up and grew out of the Hype House. I felt very out of place there because I was grown, if that makes sense. I was a woman, not a teenager anymore, I was working on bigger things than dance videos, and on top of that, I had met the love of my life. Why wouldn’t I want to live with him? It was time for me to go, and I never would have guessed that they would be taking me to court.

You mentioned feeling grown, and in love, how did you know that your husband was different? What made this relationship better than your previous ones? Especially that with Vinny Sixx who is backing the hype house in this court battle.
I wish that I could say something that didn’t sound so terribly cliche, but I fell in love with Abel the moment that I saw him. I walked into his house for our first day and I never walked out, really. He just knew me.I don’t know how to explain how it felt like coming home. He felt like home. I think there’s something that’s so magical about falling in love so quickly, so deeply and so truly and having that love returned back to you. I couldn’t ask for anything better. He saved my life, he changed my life and he always loved me in the way that I needed. I think the biggest difference is that I never loved Vinny. I couldn’t have loved Vinny, I was groomed. This man met me when I was 15 years old and pursued me for years. He spent his time tearing me down in hopes to isolate me further. I don’t think he ever loved me either. I think he loved the idea of me, and the clout. Because I’ve learned that love doesn’t hurt, you know? I had no business being in a relationship with a man that was over a decade older than I was and I am so glad that I was able to get out of that and find my human. At the end of the day, when you know. You know. And if love doesn’t feel like the best thing in the world, then it’s not your soulmate.
 
You recently captioned an instagram post with, “music is never about the music, if it was, we’d write songs about guitars. But we don’t, we write music about women." Which is a quote from Daisy Jones and The Sixx, corrected? You’ve been the muse of two artists, Vinny asks Mod Sun to be very verbal and open that “Karma” is about you. And we know that some of The Weeknd’s Dawn FM album, specifically “Starry Eyes” is about you, how does it feel to hear these very different opinions of you in lyrical form?
I mean, I’ll be honest, I haven’t really listened to Karma much. I’ve only listened to it fully twice, once when someone sent it to me and then once to show Abel. I think it’s really funny that he wrote a song about “lying” when he spent the entirety of our relationship lying to me and cheating and everything else under the sun. I think he really thought that he was reading me to filth with this song, but in reality, I did get everything that I deserved and it was a happy life with my husband, a perfect little baby, a loving family and a career that keeps me so busy and fulfilled. So yeah, Karma is a bitch, but it feels like he’s the one getting the other end of that. He thought that he was really clever with the “XOXO” but you know, if it ain’t xo, then it’s gotta go. As far as Starry Eyes goes, it’s the most lovely thing in the world. Abel puts his entire heart, soul, mind and body into his albums. Singing is his love language and to hear him sing his love for me has always been my favorite part. Starry Eyes will forever be a song that gives me butterflies and makes me feel loved. I’m eternally grateful to have it.
 
Some fans are always dissecting songs and lyrics looking for meanings behind them. Now that you’ve started creating your own album, how does that make you feel? Are you someone who writes from experience?
I think something that people who haven’t made music don’t really think about is the fact that you can write a true song about experiences but it doesn’t have to be your experience. It can be inspired by anything and anyone, sometimes songs are just good songs. I know a lot of people have gotten tripped up on Abel’s latest album and getting bent out of shape about “I heard you’re married”. Just remember at the end of the day, at least Abel and I, we are capable of writing songs that aren’t about us. We have plenty of songs about us, don’t worry, some that you’ve heard and some that you will hear, and even some that you’ll never hear. There’s plenty of songs on my album about Abel, and I think it’ll be easy to tell, but I also have a song with Nori, who is one of our best friends, and there’s no weird affair sh*t there. It’s just a fire song that we wrote for just having fun.

If you could describe your album, how would you do so?
Um, XO is very early 2000’s pop princess vibes, it’s very sexy and fun. It also has some more “house music” vibes as well, because you know, you can take the girl out to the party but you can’t take the party out of the girl. It’s about an equal mix of the two. Some songs are about feeling so good in a relationship and feeling sexy because of that, and about how much better it can be. Some are more songs that I would’ve wanted to hear while Birdie and I were getting ready to go out and songs that I want girly pops to post when they need to shade some d*ckbag. It’s a fun album, it’s an album to make you dance, and it’s an album that reminds y’all to not take everything so serious. Just have fun, it’s okay to do that, too.

Caroline explains that, a little like superstar and fellow Louisiana native Britney Spears, that music was always part of the plan and she was a bit devastated when her album leaked because it wasn’t ready and she wanted to put something out that she was proud of. For awhile after the leak, she’d decided that she wouldn’t touch that side of Hollywood since the choice was taken away from her, but now that she’s sat with it, she’s wrote more songs and she’s added the help of one international popstar, who just happens to be her husband, she’s ready to share the music she created with the world. “I’ve sat with these songs for long enough, I think that it’s an album I’m proud of and I’m so nervous and so excited to share what wasn’t leaked” she says.

Does Abel have a favorite song on your album and does it match yours?
Abel does have a favorite song on the album, we’ve recorded a little album reaction that’ll be up soon, but I can spoil it a little bit, his favorite song is Nothing On (But the Radio) and he’s really not shy about telling me that. I don’t know if I have a favorite because they all are different and special in their own way. I think I got it bad and Madeline might be my favorite but because they were written about my two favorite humans in the world, my husband and my best friend.
 
We’ve seen you pop up around LA giving us little sneak peeks of the album, are you hinting at a Caroline Tesfaye tour? And if you are, do you think you’ll tour with your husband or do you think you’ll continue to collaborate with DJ’s like Discolines?
I mean, I’ll be honest, I haven’t really thought about a tour as of yet. We just had a baby, and I’m not sure if we’re planning on going on tour at least right now. I also don’t feel like I’m anywhere near talented enough to be on the same stage as my husband. He’s the most talented human in the world, and I am just lucky to love him and be loved by him. Aside from that, I’m about to start filming for Animal Friends (Caroline's latest starring role with Ryan Reynolds and Aubrey Plaza). I’m also working on a really cool and super hush hush project with Birdie. We’re rehearsing almost daily for Hamilton and I’m just not sure that I could give the energy a tour deserves right now. I also don’t want to overwork myself and spend more time away from the London Moon. I’m really happy just having some time at home with our family.

Do you think that you’ll be adding “Broadway baby” to your long list of career successes? Will you continue being on stage after the “One Last Time: Hamilton Revival” or is this a passion project that is one and done?
I don’t really like to put any limits on anything. I love Broadway and I’d love to do more of that. But Hamilton is a passion project and it’s the hardest thing that I’ve ever done, really. I went from like dabbling in singing to having to be able to sing for hours. I was pregnant when rehearsals started and it was exhausting but it’s so much fun and it’s truly a dream of mine to be able to just meet the original cast let alone share the stage with them. I love each and everyone of them and they’ve really made me feel like part of their family. This cast is special and it feels so much like these are friends that I’ll have for life after this.

Do you think that there will be a project that has the name Mr & Mrs The Weeknd attached to it?
I mean, easy answer, is yes because we’ve already worked together. We have a tequila brand that is honestly really cool, I help with After Hours (the club) and we’re working on opening another property and a jewelry brand. But I’m assuming your asking as far as acting and music goes and with that I’ll say, you’ll just have to wait and see.
 
People are always calling you an “it girl” and especially as of late, being obsessed with your sense of style. “#Caroline street style” is always trending on twitter. What is a trend that you wish would go and what’s a trend you hope comes back?
Ugh, this is going to get me in trouble, but I’m so bored of this “clean girl aesthetic”. I mean, you guys look lovely, and get that facial glow but it’s boring. You’re not expressing yourself at all and you’re not having fun. I want more drowning in glitter, smudged eyeliner and lips all red from making out. Clean girl isn’t even an aesthetic, it’s just the lack of it. It’s just a sad beige mom for people without kids. It’s annoying because you watch these “get ready with me” videos and they make it seem like their skin is super clear just from the products they're selling, not because they see an esthetician twice a week dropping thousands of dollars. It’s boring. Perfection is boring.

I can’t tell you how much fun I’ve had having this little conversation with you, so here’s our last question, what era is Caroline Tesfaye going into for 2024?
Um, somewhere between dirty filthy pop girl and plant mom era caroline. Normalize that we can have so many sides of ourselves.

01/02/2024 03:46 PM 

fashion that's lived rent free in my head.


Hiiii, sweet angel babies! I hope all of you had a magical christmas and new years. I hope that where ever you are, you feel incredibly inspired and hopeful about your new year. If you don't, that's okay, too. I love you. I support you. I see you. But uh, anyway, wow, every time I take a break from making youtube videos, I always come back and feel like I'm awkward to watch. I mean, I'm already very awko taco as it is, but I always feel like these are going to be made into those like, "Caroline Tesfaye being cringe for 10 minutes straight" videos. But uh, aside from giving y'all that content, before I get into the video, I'll give a little life update because I feel like I owe it to y'all to share. Baby London's first christmas was wonderful. She loves christmas lights and she got way too many presents for such a tiny human. Abel is perfect aside from the fact that he's very much upset about London growing so fast. I put away all her newborn clothes because hers has gotten so big, and for some reason, that like caused the largest of daddy breakdowns. He's like, "NO BABE SHES SMALL SHES LITTLE SHES IN NEW BORN." and I'm like nodding, trying to be there for him, but I find it really funny and really cute all at the same time. But yeah, parenting is really lovely, and I feel so lucky to have married my favorite human and I get to help raise a tiny human that was made of so much love. Our house has been pretty full lately, Abel's mom has been here since London was born, and I can't thank her enough. Aside from the fact she's so much help, and she's so supportive, but she's totally not the mother in law from hell that you always hear about. In fact, I think she likes me better and will totally beat Abel if she thinks he's not being super sweet to me all the time. My dad's been here too, him and Trixie are here as much as they can. They're on tour right now, but when they're not, they're here loving on the baby, and enjoying some family time. There's another human in our life that's really special, I'm not going to go into the why's and how's, but my grandma has been staying with us, too. It's really special and I'm going to cry if I start to talk about it more, but know, she's here and she's incredible, and you'll see more from us soon, I swear. Birdie and Harry, of course, are in and out whenever they can, they take godparenting very seriously, and Birdie will punch someone in the neck if she doesn't get enough London time. That always makes me really happy. Nori is always here, I feed him and Noelle would rather help with London than do anything else. I like the full house, though, it feels like it's full of love and happiness. We also got a new kitten for christmas. Abel got us another tiny little kitty for christmas, and I'll annouce hims name at another video because trust me when I say it's really good and it deserves all the time and I'm rambling and that's not what this video is supposed to be about. 

I asked you guys on tik tok what you'd like to see, and someone commented, "I just want to see fashion that inspired you to be a designer and lives rent free in your head." and I just adored that idea. I did give myself a few rules, because if not, this would be like forty hours long and we'd all be here staring at each other for that long, and no one wants that. I picked out like sixteen outfits or lewks that's always lived in my head. I only allowed myself two Blair Waldorf outfits otherwise it would all be her. Maybe, I'll do like, "top ten blair lewks" at another time if y'all like this. I picked some outfits that I've sort of recreated, not all of them, but if there is one and I have slash can find photos of my outfits, I'll add them. I hate googling myself though, it gives me the ick. but with that being said, grab your lattes, angel babies, let's talk clothes. 


I also had to give myself a Fran Fine rule because I cannot tell you how much The Nanny has affected my style. I used to watch The Nanny to fall asleep when I was little, and then even when Nick at Night was still a thing and the looks from this show are all to die for. Literally. She has the best style, she somehow combines classy, sexy and fun all in one and she never looks like she threw things together. This skirt though? This skirt literally lives rent free in my head and every few months I think about it again. I've been trying so hard to get my hands on it but I haven't had any luck yet. It's vintage XOXO, which kinda makes sense I'd be obsessed with it, but it's so f***ing cool. I love how she's got this super cool, tons of color, mini skirt and then the rest of her outfit is just excellent staple pieces. But what Fran does, I mean in real life, too, is that the staples are always elevated just a little. This turtleneck is fitted and very opague, and the arms fit her perfectly. She's wearing some sheer black tights, and you can't tell me that sheer black tights aren't both so classic and sexy, I don't know, I love them. And she's wearing a black pump. It's such a fun outfit that's not too over the top and it just fits. I love that when she does a pop of color, it's a lot of times in the form of a little skirt instead of a top, and I love that. I love a mini skirt moment. 


If you make a fashion video, and you don't talk about at least one Audrey Hepburn moment then I don't trust you and I think you should spend some time with the classics because Audrey Hepburn was a style icon. She created timeless looks that I fully believe will be worn forever. If you don't know what to wear, you can always pull and Audrey and you will look put together, so effortlessly feminine and you will seem like you know what you're doing. That effortless look can be so tricky to not look like you spent too much time getting ready or you're uncomfortable in your own clothes. I know most people think of the iconic Givenchy dress from the opening credits of Breakfast at Tiffany's, and it is just that iconic. But it's a dress that we see over and over again. Every designer is going to have their verison of the little black dress, myself included. This dress that she wears when she's getting ready to go to Sing Sing and she's having her first little interaction with Gregory Peck's "Fred, darling" is so incredible. It follows the same little black dress sort of formula, but it's just elevated and a bit more fun. Surely, back when this was filmed, this dress was different because it's a day dress. It's not floor length, and she's not wearing gloves or a lot of jewelry. It has these like feathers at the bottom that I think are sooo cute. I can't not explain to you how much I love the bottom of this dress. It's so unexpected but the feathers are black so you're not getting anything thrown in your face. She's wearing this huge and fabulous hat, it's got a satin bow that's just incredible. She's wearing these sort of large satin and pearl earrings. Audrey loves a pearl. She's got these classic sunglasses that I think changed the way women wore sunglasses and that classic shape is still recreated all the time. This look is just so put together but it's not boring. Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of my very favorite movies and there's been so many times I've been sketching where I'm like, "I just want to create something that Holly Golightly would throw on and look like the most beautiful woman in the world." I'm still working on that. Maybe, I'll get there this year. Maybe. 


I love Britney Spears. I love her so much. I know all of y'all were clowning on me when I was reading her memoir in public, but I love her and I was not waiting. I also was reading something I thought was super funny outloud to my husband, so fight me with the whole "caroline laughing and reading is cringe", and at least tell the story as it is, "caroline laughing and reading to her husband is cringe." 

Anyway, Britney's street style from this era is nothing short of seriously iconic. I could've picked anything from this time and would've been like she ate, she's giving, she's the moment, she's everything. I chose this one because this jacket has always lived in my head rent free. It took me awhile to finally figure it out, but I did recreate it sort of in my own brand with a few twists. The jacket was actually created for Daisy Jones and The Six, but this is very much where I've gotten the inspiration. I'm not someone who, like, doesn't wear their own brand because I create pieces that I love and I want, so I do have some photos of the jacket that I made that's sort of similar that I'll put in here, and I just love this whole look. I love this like over the top jacket and this super fun and tiny little cute top. She's rocking a flare pant and it's everything. The color combination is so warm and inviting and she just looks so much like herself here, in my opinion. I have gotten to meet Britney actually, she met with Abel and he was like, "i'm so sorry, I know this is weird but like, can you meet my wife?" because I love Britney so much. I get compared to Britney a lot which like is the biggest compliment in the world and I'm not at all worthy of that. But we grew up from around the same place in Louisana, and we've got a lot in common. As I started creating music, it's so inspired by her that I feel like I need to pay her. I love her style now too, even if she's mostly naked on instagram, and I love that she's doing everything she wants to know. Before you slide in, don't ask me to be naked on instagram, one of y'all creeps gonna be creepy and my husband will make you cry. But yeah, Britney's one of my largest style icons. I love her. 

I put both of these because the jackets are kinda the vibe. and I'm also wearing this little white tip in one of these that reminds me of the top britney is wearing in this. Also I feel the need to tell you that my husband is not as grumpy as he appears in pap photos. If you ever see us and want to say hi, please do! He just really doesn't like it when they swarm or like get too close, hims very protective. but if we're out, and caesar isn't with us, please say hi, but before if hims is, i do not want him to eat you because he thinks you're gonna hurt hims mommy. 


It's not a fashion that inspired Caroline video if I'm not talking about Mary Kate and Ashley. I'm not sorry.I love Mary Kate and Ashley. They were the moment. They are the moment. They are so f***ing talented and so f***ing cool. Their such names in the fashion industry and people don't even give them half the credit they deserve. Birdie and I love Mary Kate and Ashley, we watch their movies all the time and new york minute is one of our favorites. Every time we mention it, people are always like, "WE WANT THE NEW YORK MINUTE REBOOT WITH BIRDOLINE." and let me tell you, we do too. And mostly because I need to wear this outfit. This outfit is so cute that I could die. It's so feminine in the best way. I love the delicate little top that I wish we saw more of, but it's sheer and it's got this little collar and it's so cute. She's got this skirt on that has such pretty movement, like, it lays so perfectly when she's sitting, I love that the color is almost barely pink so it's giving grown up in my opinion and with the pink blazer? Everything. I love a good blazer, and I hope that it's something that never goes out of style. I think about this look all the time. I think that it's certainly inspired a few looks, I'll post the one that I think is most directly here, too. but yeah, uh, this look is one of the looks that made me want to be a designer. 

Okay, I know that some of y'all are gonna say this is stretch and it's cap. And while I support you in your opinions, it's a wrong opinion but I support you. Mostly, because this is my inspiration list and anyway, both of these looks feels so Ashley Olsen in New York Minute but like in the font Caroline Tesfaye. I love these looks though, they make me feel so girly and cute. These a very much just Caroline being Caroline and throwing something on when I want to feel cute and girly. 


It is no secret that I worship the ground that Paris Hilton walks on. She's everything. I don't even feel like I can even talk about her with enough praise. It's not a surprise though, I'm sure, since Birdie and I are the reboot of The Simple Life. Being Paris and Nicole 2.0 is never the insult that some of y'all think it is. We love it so much and we can't wait to make more episodes. We, of course, have met with both of them and consider them friends. Abel actually just gifted me one of the coolest christmas presents I've ever gotten and Paris was involved. I'll get into that another day, but just know it's freaking sick. But Paris had such iconic style, she still does but there's just something about this mini skirt and sassy t shirt combo that is just everything. It's so fun and so un-serious. I love it so much. I actually have this exact shirt, I'll post it but I wear it all the time and I love a little cropped sassy t shirt. I think we need to get back to the graphic tees a little more, because it was such a fun way to express yourself. You could pop on a sassy ass shirt and feel better about yourself. This is a look that I wear all the time, if I'm just out and about, I love a little skirt and cute tee moment. 

I love a sassy t shirt and a mini skirt. I put a few of them in there for y'all to see. I think it's so fun and I think I'll forever be a fan of it. I love the don't be jealous t shirt, I had to find it vintage so it'd fit like paris's. I am eating a cake of my husband, husband cake is the best cake. I've also been known to wear a tedros tedros t shirt as a dress, but you know whatever. Should I made a little line of graphic t shirts? Maybe with birdie? It's an ideaaaaa.

Megan Fox is an icon in general, and she's always been really nice to me. If you haven't read her poetry book, what the heck are you waiting for? It's so good! but this little heart jacket with the heart earrings and low rise jeans. Ugh. I love it so much. I'm pretty sure that this jacket was like from the kids section if I remember correctly, I think it's like Gap or something. I know that it's been auctioned for over one thousand. I just love this jacket so much, it's that velour juicy couture vibe. and I love wearing hearts on things. I don't know if I'll ever out grow that. Hearts are so cute. I like to sew little gold hearts in Abel's tour fits so he never feels alone. I don't know why I allowed myself to spill that little bit but yeah, hearts forever and a day. Honestly, if anyone has this hoodie and wants to let me buy it, I'd be so down. DM me. 


I love Almost Famous. I love it so much. I would put it in my top ten favorite movies of all time and I know that a lot of my love comes from Penny Lane's wardrobe. Kate Hudson is to die for always, but her style in this movie is everything. I think that if there was ever a movie that made me want to do costuming, it was this movie. The costume director was Betsy Hiemann and she's a genius. She's one of my largest inspirations, she also did the costuming for Pulp Fiction. Penny Lane's style is probably closest to what I would say is my own personal style in this list. She wears a lot of crop tops and bell bottoms which I adore. One of the crop tops in the movie was made literally by Betsy cutting up a table cloth. This look is one that I never stop thinking about. It's embroidered from head to toe. It's so almost whimiscal and I love how girly the top is, but it's still cropped so the midriff is showing to make sure it doesn't feel too, like, childlike, maybe? the skirt is a gorgeous color and the shoes. I would sell my soul for these shoes. I got a lot of inspiration for Daisy Jones from this movie and Betsy. I met Betsy and she gave me some of the best advice, she was like, "you know what you want to do, you just need to give yourself limitless possiblities." and with that, I am always grateful. This movie as a whole shaped me as a person, and I'll never stop thinking about these looks. If there ever was an Almost Famous reboot, I'd literally die to play Penny Lane. Let me do the thing, "I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends." --- 


If you thought you'd make it through a Caroline Tesfaye fashion video without me mentioning Alica Silverstone in Clueless, you're mistaken, girlypop. Now, I have to say this entire movie is full of iconic fashion. Like, when Cher is wearing that dress and her dad asks her what she's wearing and she says, "it's a dress, daddy." and he asks who says that and she says, "Calvin Klein." Iconic. I love it. And I do love that dress, but this is a look that no one talks about and everyone should. The layers of texture in this look is almost unexpected for Cher who wears mostly perfectly fitted things with little blazers and vests. This is still just as put together but honestly, it's more fun.I love the sheer lace with the black and white miniskirt peaking through. It's so cute. I love this entire look and with the knee socks? I love it so much and I could just die. 


I have to say that this look is the most personal on this list. So, these are photos of a movie my grandmother did in the 80s. She will tell you that it was a flop but it was not. Rhinestone is such a good movie and y'all can all fight me on it. Birdie and I love this film so much and let me tell you, Dolly ate every single look in this movie. I always remember her having pieces from all her shows and stuff in her closet, and this dress was one that she kept and I adore it. It's got this sheer top with these silver sparkly rhinestones all over it, and then it's white with this huge slit in the side. It's gorgeous. She had this sparkly like hairpiece in her hair and this was from I think the very first scene in the movie? It's so pretty. Uh, My Gigi actually gifted me my first sewing machine. I still have her, her name is Stacey and I still do a lot of sewing with Stacey. Though, Abel had banned Stacey from the bedroom and I'm not allowed to bring her back. It's really rude. But this look is one that I've always thought about because my grandmother is so glamorous. She really is. and she still is and this look has always been in my head. I actually created a dress a little bit inspired by this for He's All That press, I'll post pictures of it, it's not a replica at all, but it was inspired because I wanted to feel a little bit close to her. 


I'll be honest, country music does not make an appearance in the Tesfaye household nearly at all. With Gigi here, we get a little more and everyone's too scared of her and Birdie to fight her on it. but growing up, Shaina Twain was it. Like she came out of the gate with these sassy ass songs and sassy ass looks. She wasn't doing anything any of the other women of country was doing. She's 100 percent a feminist. she's bad ass. and the don't impress me much music video changed my brain chemistry. I'm so sure of it. She's wearing this head to toe cheetah print while basically singing a song saying "men ain't sh*t" and I don't know what's more badass than this. I love her straight hair and red lip, and she's got this hooded like trench but this little crop top. It's sexy and anyone who says it isn't is a liar. Don't Impress Me Much is also the only country song that Abel thinks is kinda cute when I sing. I think he likes when my accent pops out, I won't lie, and I'm not really a country fan at all either, please don't hate me country music fans, but this outfit and era is and will forever be iconic. 


I honestly thought of quite a few JLO looks when I was trying to decide who would make this list. but this all white look from Maid in Manhattan just takes the cake. It's chefs kiss. I love an all white look. I love to wear white. My husband loves when I wear white, too. This all white look is Dolce and Gabbana and it's truly timeless. It's this incredible coat, honestly, I really need to find something similar to add to my collection because it's truly a coat that isn't going to ever go out of style. and she's wearing this incredible little sleeveless cashmere sweater and wide legged trousers. She's wearing gold jewelry and it's lovely. I think what makes this outfit feel so expensive is that everything fits her perfectly, and the fabrics aren't cheap, they lay beautifully, they don't look random at all. the whites blend perfectly. She's wearing these netural pumps, and it's just chefs kiss. it's really the most timeless look. 


I can't make a list about fashion without talking about Blair Waldorf. I love Blair so much. her style is perfection. I love it so much. I know I said that Penny Lane was probably the cloest to my style, and I still think that might be true. I think Blair is a strong second. I think I tend to either fall between very 70's inspired, to early 2000's or very Blair. It's hard to pinpoint when you love clothes this much, because I just can apperciate most everything in fashion. This dress from her engagement party, before she left with Chuck, is incredible. It's Alexis Mabille, the detail on this dress is to die for. This dress really was on my mind as I've started working on a new collection, shh, it's a surprise but expect so much hand stitching and details like this in my latest. It's just the colors and how it fits. it's floor length and you can't really see it here, but there's this sheer like stitch all the way down until it flows out into this goregous little like leaf design at the bottom, it's fitted in the waist and the details just doesn't stop. I need to find this dress. I can't believe I haven't been able to. Alexis Mabille, I love you, hook a girl up. 


Sue me with the two back to back Blairs. I don't care. in the words of my father, this is my show and not yours. But this dress lives in my head. it's the last dress we ever see Blair wear and it's f***ing everything. It's sparkly, it's got bows, it's this perfect shade of taupe. It's made my Zuhair Murad Couture for the fall/winter line in like 2010? I can't remember but I'll fact check and put it on the screen if I'm wrong. It's this perfect length ending a few inches about the knee, and it's fitted until the waist and then flairs out. It's perfect. If I was a dress, I think I'd be this dress. I can't even talk about it about it without wanting to cry because I just think it's that pretty. I need to try and find it or recreate it, because I need this. Actually, do y'all think you'd wanna see a series of me recreating some of these outfits? let me know. I don't ever wanna not post on here because I feel like it's a way to hang out with you guys. Leave it in the comments if that's something you'd wanna see. I won't lie to you and tell you that it might take me awhile, ya girl is busy with being a mom and working. 


I think every girlie who's ever been into fashion has Carrie Bradshaw looks on their pinterest boards. She really sort of gave us all permission to dress for fun, and most importantly, dress for yourself. She's so eclectic with how she mixes bold prints and she does this really cool there where she mixes really haute couture with vintage finds that just makes every outfit interesting. She's so daring with her fashion, and for me, Carrie Bradshaw has always been permission to play. It's saying who the f*** cares if an outfit you put together flops? Who cares? You can always change your clothes. When you have this ability to not take it too seriously, and have fun, you can create such looks that are unique. I think her style is so lovely, because she loves pieces from everything. She wears a lot of vivanne westwood which she's such an iconic designer. This dress though is Dior. Which is iconic in itself, it literally says Christian Dior Daily. They've already done something super cool with the print, but the dress itself isn't boring. If you take the print away, and it's just a black or white dress, it's still goregous. It's got this like scoop like neckline that just lays so pretty, it's not too low but it fives that chest area room to breathe and it sort of makes it more flattering because you've got this really big print, so she's not drowning in it. It's got this assymmetrical ruffle hem, and it's open back. It's so fun, bold and sexy in a way that feels so couture. She's wearing these goregous lace-embroidered louboutins that are so hot. I have these shoes, or ones that are very similar that I got on Abel and I's first trip to Rome. I love that Carrie Bradshaw is extra, she could've gone with just a black pump or even red one but these are sexy shoes and I love them. I made a dress that was inspired by this, it's a little different with the print, but I do think it would be kinda cool to remake it again and do like tmz articles about myself. who wants a caroline tesfaye sex tape dress? i'm kidding. Well, I'm mostly kidding. a little kidding and a little wondering if that eats. 

I know this isn't like an exact but this was a dress that I made and it was directly inspired the carrie bradshaw dress. But I thought about it the entire time I was making it. These jeans aren't mine, well, they are mine but I didn't make them but it's still a newspaper print so I included it here. 

No one talks enough about Sabrina Spellman's fashion in the original series. I love the other one, too, but the Melissa Joan Hart one is my favorite. I love Melissa Joan Hart so much. One of my favorite movies is Drive Me Crazy. If you haven't seen it, it's early 2000s gold. The soundtrack is incredible. The movie is chefs kiss. But her style in Sabrina is so good! No one talks about it enough and it makes me lose my marbles. I've always had pictures of Sabrina on any and all moodboards for fashion. It was kind of hard to pick just one for this list but I only have so long to film before London is awake and will be ready to eat. London doesn't love to take bottles if Mommy is home. She's like, "absolutely not, that is disgusting, I will only take it from the tap." So, I had to cut it off somewhere. But honestly, this could be a super fun series to film, because I never get tired talking about clothes. Anyway, this look is from a christmas episode. She also wears this red coat and cheetah scarf. I tried to find the actual skirt she's wearing, but I didn't have any luck. It's this warm color with these floral embroidered pattern on it. I guess I really love embroidered things. But she's wearing this maroon sheer top with the straight across like tube top feeling under it. It's probably one shirt but again, they keep this show secrets locked up. She did this sheer vibe a lot in the show. I love it so much. I think it's so fun and sexy and it's still unexpected, and it's something that I've done alot with my own twist. Again, I'll put some photos here but it's something that I wish I did more now that I'm looking at it. I love that she's wearing these like chunky red heels that like probably would've sucked walking through all the snow they have her in but that's what's magical about TV, you can always wear a six inch heel to any occasion and won't regret it unless the writers allow you to. I always think about this outfit around the holiday's and I really need to to track down this skirt like asap. 

I think this is the closest that I've worn as to the outfit I showed for this list. I do love this dress though, I love it so much. This was for the Thanksgiving premiere and I felt so cute in this. It was our first public apperance after having London and I was really nervous. I had to make something that made me feel like me again, you know? I love the color, I love mixing like a taupe with black, it's just something special. 

but that's all I have for you today, guys! I know Abel is about to knock on the door and give me our sweet baby. I had so much fun with this little angel babies and I hope that you all had the best christmas and new years and you're all ready for 2024 to be a great and positive year. I love you all, you're all so important to me and I'll see you guys soon! 

12/13/2023 02:54 PM 

the room where it happens.

In the first interview about HAMILTON: ONE LAST TIME, we were able to sit down with creator of the hip hop musical, Grammy, Tony, Emmy and Pulitzer prize winner, and leading man, Lin Manuel Miranda and upcoming star, tik tok sensation, and lately, actress and pop star, Caroline Tesfaye who is filling the huge shoes of Phillipa Soo’s role as Eliza. 

 


INTERVIEWER: Welcome to the show, you guys! Thank you so much for coming out today and joining us for a little sit down chat. The first one! I'm honored to be able to be the first avenue that you're able to speak about the incredible work you're doing! Caroline, you look beautiful and Lin, may I say you're certainly giving GQ with your look today! 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: Well, if I'm honest, this is not what I wore to set today. I showed up thinking that I looked really nice. I even was taming the growing out hair and Caroline showed up with this large garment bag and sent me back to my room to change. I stood there for a second and Abel, (caroline's husband) was like, "dude, just trust her. you can fight her but she's going to force you and you'll thank her for it." and he was right, I look sick as hell. 

CAROLINE TESFAYE: I love clothes. I can't help but dress everyone in my life. I am always buying or making clothes for people I know. I can't help but style everyone. If I see you, and I think "Hmmmmm, your outfit could be better", I'll probably make it for you and just be like "here. love you. mean it." 

INTERVIEWER: As a Hamilton superfan, myself, I was incredibly excited and surprised to see that the original cast was coming back for a show after everyone moved on. Can you share with us a little bit how you came to be? Because we all need to know!

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: laughing. I know I had said that I wasn’t going to be playing Alexander again when I gave so much of my life to him, but this was an opportunity that felt right and it felt like it came from the heart and it was a good time to continue the message of Hamilton. I’ve said before that the past is never, ever, ever finished with us, there are lessons to be learned and this opportunity was a lesson and a blessing for a lot of people, so I’m growing out the ponytail and I’m ready for One Last Time.

As far as how it came to be, I can’t pretend to take a single ounce of credit for this idea. This was all from the mind of Caroline. I’ll let her explain a little, because it’s her story to tell.

CAROLINE TESFAYE: My goodness, put me right on the spot, why don’t you? Um, *nervously laughs*, honestly, it was just an idea that came to me when I was listening to Hamilton and working. I love Hamilton so much, you can ask my husband, I’m always listening to it. I was working on Fortify (Caroline’s safety bracelet line that is using technology in the best ways for safety features) and I was just thinking about how this show has inspired so many people. I would even say countless people across the world and with a lot of the things happening, it could take the sensation to change. It’s already done so much for the world, but what more could it do? It just kept spinning in my mind about how successful a show where the original cast came back since it’s blown up so big and the success could be used for great good. So, I messaged Lin on instagram at two AM, and I was just like, “Hi! You don’t know me, I’m a huge fan. No literally I cry simply because you exist at the same time as me. But my name is Caroline and I have this idea…” and then I just explained about how I think “ONE LAST TIME” could raise so much awareness and funds. He actually messaged me back, and I explained that I think doing three shows for three charities one last time. He said, “I got the itch the ponytail, do you have funds in mind?” basically, and I said “rainbow railroad, NXTHVN and planned parenthood” because once I have an idea, I can’t move on until I at least try.

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: After hearing this, I just was like, you know what, let’s set a meeting and see what we can do. She was so enthusatic. My wife was laying in bed next to me, both begging me to go to sleep and also encouraging. She had said this girl sounds so genuine and planned parenthood had been something weighing heavily on her mind as a woman. So, we set the meeting and I guess the rest was history having its eyes on us.

INTERVIEWER: These are all incredible charities, and we will certainly get to that and speak more about it, but I just would like to know what the next steps were. Was the entire cast ready to put the tights back on and come back or was it a little more hard to convince?


CAROLINE TESFAYE: It wasn’t really “hard” to rally the troops, because we didn’t have a date set or anything, we just had an idea and wanted to see if it was possible. Lin contacted everyone and was like, “Hey we’re thinking about doing this, it’d be dope to have you back” and then everyone said yes and then we got everyone's availability back and worked out how to be able to take a weekend of three shows that worked for everyone. 

 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: Most everyone. (referring to the role that Caroline was now stepping into) These are all my friends. I talk to them almost every day, and I work with them as often as I can, so they were all down to come back especially after hearing about the good it could do for the country and the world. The only person that wasn’t able to return due to back to back shooting and starring in another show was Phillipa. She wasn’t able but gave us her blessing to continue and she would help in whatever ways she could. She’s incredibly hardworking and kind like that. 

 

INTERVIEWER: Was taking on the role of Eliza suggested by you, Caroline, were you ready to fill that role? Was it something you had in mind when suggesting the revival?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: Absolutely not. I had no intentions of being in the cast at all. This is the cast of some of the most talented people I know in the industry and it’s not how I see myself at all.


LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: Actually, Phillpa was the one to suggest that Caroline should take the role. We were in a meeting, discussing what could be the best options for filling her role. We wanted her to have a say so, because she was going to come and help train whoever it was so that she was involved in the good that we were doing here. She’s like, “What about Caroline?” And I was like, “Hmm. What about Caroline?” We knew she could dance, but I’ll be honest I didn’t know if she could sing. Her album hadn’t leaked yet, so there wasn’t much to go off of. And Phillipa was very insistent that she ask her. So, We did and at first, she flat out said no way. But with a little persuading I talked her into just singing for us to see. She insisted that if she was going to do this she wanted a full audition, like anyone else, and the entire original cast to agree. 

CAROLINE TESFAYE: It was important to me that I wasn’t offered anything without proving to myself and them that I could do it. I wouldn’t weigh down the performance with my inexperience or lack of talent.


LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: interjects quickly There is no lack of talent with you, Caroline. I’m serious.

CAROLINE TESFAYE: Thank you. Don’t make me cry during this. I’ll look like a sap. But yeah, I sat down and talked to my husband (world famous popstar Abel "The Weeknd" Tesfaye) and he just took my hand and took me downstairs to the studio, and sat me down in his lap behind the mic, played Burn and he said, “Sing. It’s just you and me. Sing.” and I did. I just sang. And when I listened to it back, I thought, maybe I can do this. Maybe, I could be Eliza. 

 

INTERVIEWER: I have to say, I’m so excited to see you as Eliza. How did you start to prepare? And Lin, what was different with working with Caroline versus Phillipa? Was it hard to have that same connection?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: After I auditioned, they offered me the part and I accepted. I first started working on my voice. I mostly got Abel to start training me. I got him to help me learn to control my voice better, to be able to hit the notes when I needed to. I also started working on singing for long periods of time, to make sure that I didn’t lose my voice or anything. I studied Hamilton from the film on disney+, which was a gift to the world, by the way. I started taking notes of the little things that she did that made Eliza feel like Eliza. I made notes of the things that stood out to me, and the things that I liked and admired. I love Eliza. She’s my favorite character in anything ever, basically. So, I just treated it with the most respect. Then I spent a lot of time with Phillipa. She’s been so sweet and I can truly say that she’s one of my friends now. I just hung out with her and we talked, we sang, and we rehearsed. She taught me little tricks about where to take a breath, how to avoid being hit in the face with a chair, and it was really cool. It was a lot of work, but I loved every second of it. 

 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: I’m a performer at heart. I’ve been on Broadway for so long, so I’ve had to work with different actresses playing the same role a lot of times, and while Hamilton and its cast is so special, and the chemistry between Phillipa and I is magical, so is Caroline. She is so much like Phillipa. She really is. They are so similar. And Caroline is very much Eliza. She’s one of the most maternal people I know. Even before she and Abel welcomed their little girl into the world. After meeting her friends and family, everyone said the same thing, Caroline is everyone’s mom. She’s the same way on the show, she’s remembering birthdays of the cast on set, she’s cooking for fifty people, and that just shines through in her performance. Caroline truly is someone I consider a friend now, she’s like a little sister that I’ve always wanted. 

INTERVIEWER: Was there any moments that surprised you about Caroline, Lin?

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: to caroline Can I say the one I’m thinking about? I just wanna be respectful.

She wrinkles her nose but nods, and I’m on the edge of my seat

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: Caroline once did all of a rehearsal of burn while breastfeeding London. She’s just got this blanket, and her baby is eating and this girl is singing her heart out. She’s not missing a note, and I just texted my wife being like, “women are so f***ing bad ass”. 


INTERVIEWER: I feel like both of you are really funny people, the entire cast really, is there any funny moments that's happened so far you can share?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: I was both surprised and not surprised at how often there's some silly goofy moods during reheresals. This cast loves to be little pranksters. Everything is really lightharded, it's not those one on youtube that can be intense. But uh, it was like, our third week? maybe, fourth, I don't know. So, we're running through things, and we've been working on Helpless, and I'll admit, I'm a perfectionist. I'm kind of insane---

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: interrupting, holding back laughter. Kind of? This girl had been going through this song for hours. Girl is hitting all the marks. We're like Caroline! you're good. we're good, let's move on. And she's demanding one more time. *insert drum noise from the band on set* I appreciate that. thank you, buddy. so, I go down into the crowd to Abel, and I'm like, "bro, what can I say to show her that is perfect? that we can move on. that she's doing exceptionally well. How can I better direct her?" I'm coming through with the most sincerest of questions, and he's goes "I've got just the thing. Follow me." I think we're going to just have a conversation, we go back to Caroline's dressing room, and he's digging through this bag and I'm looking over this mans shoulder trying to see what he's looking for, I'm wondering, is this man going to pull out a xanax for his wife? Are we drugging people? So, he gives me this item and I'm holding it and I'm staring at it. and I'm so confused....barely containing his laughter. 

CAROLINE TESFAYE: I'll finish the story, because this is literally bonks. So, I get my one last time *another drum noise from the band on set* Y'all are so fast with that. I was just gonna make the noise with my mouth. Anyway, so, you know, I'm doing my thing. I'm singing. I'm getting down with my Eliza self and it gets to the part where Alexander shows up to meet Eliza for the first time. Lin comes on stage wearing this hoodie. Hood up and all. I'm like, is he mad at me? He's totally mad at me. Renee is walking him over, he's performing, we're going through the whole number and we get to the part where we're about to do the getting married, Lin drops the hood and he's wearing my busband's freaking rat tail weave from The Idol! I could not stop laughing, I was on the floor crying. 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: I really don't know why Abel had that with him, but I was really glad he did. She needed to get out of her head a little bit, and I needed to wear the Tedros Tedros wig. 

INTERVIEWER: What is something that you’ve learned about each other while working on ONE LAST TIME? What’s something that you want the world to know about each other?


CAROLINE TESFAYE: Lin is the nicest person. I know that people hear that, but he’s so nice. He’s so friendly, and he’s so talented. He’s been nothing but kind in getting us all in shape for this. He took this challenge and he never complains. He also doesn’t miss out on time with his family. He will stop and take a call with his child. His wife is around and they create such a lovely environment. Lin and Vanessa are very special to me. Vanessa was one of the first people that we told that I was pregnant, after Birdie and my dad. They came to my baby shower. They were at my birthday party even when it was in another country. Nessa has been there for me as I sort of figure out the whole mom thing. I've been texting her freaking out about the mom thing and she's always there for me.

INTERVIEWER: Parenting can be so scary! What are some of the things that you've texted her about?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: I've literally sent her pictures of my breastmilk being like, "I pumped this, do you think my supply is good? Is my baby getting enough food? Am I doing a good job?!" and she's always so encouraging. She sat me down once and put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in my eyeballs and said, "Caroline. The fact that you're so worried about being a good mother is proof that you are. Just be you. You're enough." And it was every bit what I needed to hear. Vanessa tends to conspire with my husband and Birdie to make sure that I don't overwork myself. I know they come across as warm people, and they are. They are every bit as kind and warm as they appear. I’m very lucky to have them in my life. This has been a dream come true to me, and I am so excited to be lucky enough to have worked with Lin and be able to call him my friend.



❝make no mistake caroline tesfaye is a force❞
                                         βœ­-lin manuel miranda, about caroline tesfaye

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: Caroline Tesfaye is the most underestimated star in the business right now. Make no mistake: Caroline is a force. She is all the threats. She’s a talented actress, singer, dancer and designer. She is the hardest working person, but she also has so much natural talent. She is a performer. She is the one to watch. I'm so stoked to watch her start to create more and more art. I feel like I'm in the front row to watching one of the greatest performers of this next generation. And most importantly, Caroline Tesfaye is kind. If there was one word for her, it would be kind. It's almost rare to meet people in this industry who aren't greedy, and only doing things for cash grabs. 

INTERVIEWER: I'm sure that these words mean so much to Caroline. Caroline's mentioned that she's met your wife and there's been tik toks of her coloring backstage with your son. Most of Caroline's friends and family are really huge celebrities. Who were you most excited to have met? Who surprised you? 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: 
yeah man, Caroline is almost an engma of a person, she's this incredibly talented and kind person, and all of that is so cool and can't be compared but some of it really is wild. I've been around celebrites, you know, but....

CAROLINE TESFAYE: interjecting quickly, Lin, bestie, you're a celebrity. 


LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: with a dismissive wave, yeah, yeah, sure. but it's so insane to walk into rehersals and to see The freaking Weeknd just around. He's so mysterious and brilliant, I was intimitated almost. He's this super big popstar and he's just here hanging out on set, playing his switch, yelling at his wife to drink water. He's so down to earth. I kinda was hoping he'd just jump up and be like, "you're singing this wrong, let me show you." I kept waiting for him to jump on the stage and be like, "Lin, you're trash. I'm Hamilton now" Not to mention Caroline, his freaking wife, is playing my wife in the show. Not only am I rapping in tights in front of him but I'm macking on his wife! He was really cool though, he's so funny and really nice. I love Abel now. I love watching Abel and Caroline together. Because like, you see them on tv and social media, and they're so adorable. but they're really just as cute in real life, too. I'm over here watching with heart eyes every little PDA moment. they're like too little cute kittens who love each other so much. I remember once coming to bed and being like, Caroline is Abel's Vanessa and she agreed. We're like two proud parents. 

INTERVIEWER: I can't imagine kissing on someone's wife with their husband mean mugging you from the front row. That's the strangest part of show biz, don't you think? Was Abel, The Weeknd, the only person you met or did  you spend time with some more of her inner circle?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: I think you met about everyone, yeah? If not at work, but at the baby shower or something. 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: I met Birdie and Harry Styles which is wild to me. Birdie is killing it in the acting game. She's one to watch too. The talent between these two girls is insane. She's really protective, too. Birdie will gut you like a fish if you're mean to her best friend. What's kind of funny is Birdie calls Caroline "widdo bebe" and that's how she says it, too. She's Caroline "Widdo Bebe" Tesfaye and she takes no sh*t about her best friend. Harry is so funny, he's popped in with his wife a few times to visit. He's wearing these mickey Gucci sweaters that cost more than our first car, and he's always got edibles. I met Caroline's dad, mom, dadmom? momdad? Katya. Her and Trixie were doing a show nearby so they popped in full drag. We get this call from security and they're like, "Hey, there's two drag queens trying to come in. Heels higher than your IQ, what do you want me to do?" and at first, I'm wondering who is stopping by and Caroline's so causally like "it's my parents." 

INTERVIEWER: What was Katya (Caroline's father, world famous drag queen and runner up of season 2 Drag Race All-Stars) reaction to the show? Was she excited? Has she seen the show? 

CAROLINE TESFAYE: Oh, yeah, Dad and I saw Hamilton together the first time. Drag Dad loves a perfromance. He thinks Daveed Diggs is so hot and would climb him like a tree. He's a meance to society. He's in love with my husband, too. but that's a story for a different day. Katya was joking about taking any role. He was like, "Actually, I know y'all be double booking your cast, i would like to play maria reynolds and king george." And while I think it's good we're keeping the cast, I do think he might be sickening as those roles. 

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA: I think that would be the only production of the show where Alexander sleeps with a drag queen and his daugher. 

 
INTERVIEWER: Caroline, was any of your friends calling you up being like, "put me in coach!! I need to do this."?

CAROLINE TESFAYE: Only one of my friends was half way serious and that was Nori. He was ready to take on John Laurens and Phillip Schyuler. He calls me up saying, "Hey, you're basically my mom, let me in the cast so you can birth me and then I'll die" and my dad joked about wanting to play king george

INTERVIEWER: You’ve mentioned about the good that this show is doing, can we talk about the charities that this is going to benefit?

Lin Manuel Miranda: There’s benefits for three different charities but there’s also a lot of good being done right here in the show. I’ll let Caroline talk about the charities, but no one in the main cast is taking a paycheck. The only money being made is going to the charities and then to the ensemble We did offer the role to most of the ensemble  from the original cast but whatever couldn’t be filled, we made sure to give these roles to people who wanted it and even needed the money. The crew was the same way. We hired people of color, people who wanted to work but had lost jobs due to their sexuality or race or single mothers. It was important to us that the unsung heroes of this industry were who benefited from this. 

❝we wanted to do this because we love humans...............❞
                                         βœ­-caroline tesfaye, about why they're bringing back hamitlon

CAROLINE TESFAYE: We just wanted to do this because we love humans. We love hamilton and humans, and we never wanted it to be a money making thing. That’s not why they all came back or why I stepped into the role. We wanted to help humans and that was what was important. 

INTERVIEWER: and you’re doing three shows for three charities, correct? 

CAROLINE TESFAYE: yes! We’re doing Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. It’ll be in Richard Rodgers Theatre. All the proceeds with go to The Rainbow Railroad which is Rainbow Railroad is a Canadian charitable organization created to rescue LGBTQ+ persons whose lives are in imminent danger from state-tolerated anti-gay terror. The organization takes its name from and is inspired by the Underground Railroad, a group of abolitionists who helped endangered slaves flee the American South and escape to freedom via a secret network of safe houses and hiding places during the United States’ Civil War.

NXTHVN is a not-for-profit arts and community incubator founded by artist Titus Kaphar in New Haven, Connecticut. Dedicated to providing affordable workspaces for artists, mentoring local youth, and contributing to the revitalization of the Dixwell neighborhood and New Haven. They have fellowships, and it’s incredibly cool to see the work they do for artists. They give resources to artists that don’t have them.

And of course, planned parenthood, I know everyone knows what they do, but there’s a lot of people who think it’s just this evil place where people go for abortions. But that’s not true. It offers all healthcare and mental health services. It does offer sexual health, and that’s really freaking great. It gives education about birth control options and gives women the power to choose what they need for their body without the pressures of financial burdens. Our country needs planned parenthood. Our country needs to offer more programs for women and children. This isn't evil, what’s evil is trying to shut down programs that help people. This show will provide funding for that. We all stand with women here. We are all standing up and taking a stand that this country was founded on freedom and freedom isn’t a privilege. It should be a right. Women, people of color, the LGBTQ+ community, and other huamsn who are constantly being put down in the society that our founding fathers created. We stand with you. We stand with the people who need someone to stand up for them, and that’s what this is about. It’s us remembering that History has its eyes on us and we’re going to take our art and talents to make a difference where it is needed. 
❝freedom isn't a privilege. it's a right. women, people of color, the lgbtq+ community and all the other humans who are constantly being put down in the soceity that our founding fathers created. we stand with you. we stand up for the people who need someone to stand up for them, and that's what this about..........❞
      ✭-caroline tesfaye, about the mission statement of one last time: the hamilton revivial.  

Lin Manuel Miranda: I couldn't say it better myself. That was poetry. This is we do what we do! I think it's safe to say that: It's not the moment, it's the movement.

Interviewer: We stand with you. Please use the links below to donate to the causes, buy tickets and keep an eye out for this exciting and powerful endeavor. 

 

 

08/03/2023 05:44 PM 

something to remember you by, pt 2

Abel gave an attempt to suppress a chuckle but failed. He couldn't help but be a little amused by Caroline's words. She was quick to shut this man down. Sure, what Abel and Caroline were currently doing wasn't considered right but an eye for an eye seemed like the best option. He had brought Caroline within moments of death, at times, and it was time for a little bit of payback. And while Abel had zero intentions of allowing Caroline to murder this man; Abel fully intended to. Him and Jordan both knew exactly what needed to be done, but Abel had insisted on leaving murder off Caroline's record. For now.

Abel didn't need to relay the message. This idiot heard Caroline. And, Abel hoped with what little braincells this dumbass had left, that he would use them wisely. And whenever Caroline asked Abel to stop; he did. Shocking this man to death wasn't exactly part of plan but he did want to hurt him, to make him feel as awful as Caroline had laying in the hospital bed, to make him feel as terrified as Abel had waiting on test results. It was what he deserved. He may not have been Caroline's stalker but he had caused her pain and Abel intended on ruining every single person who had hurt Caroline. She didn't deserve the amount of pain and suffering she had gone through since their relationship started. It wasn't fair.

Instead of speaking, Abel raised a brow as he spoke, unsure if he should trust his words. His thumb hovered over the remote, unsure if he should shock him, or not. He glanced over at Caroline who looked like she had been mentally transported to another universe.

Immediately, Abel knew there was truth to what he was saying. "How 'bout you explain it to us then? We've on a tight schedule and I don't have time for bullsh*t. If you're lying, you're dead. If you're telling the truth, then maybe we can work something out," Abel was lying and hoped Caroline picked up on it. He wouldn't dare allow this man to walk out of this room alive but he hoped he'd take the bait. He had to take the bait. "Maybe I'll throw in fifty grand and arrange a permanent getaway," Abel tempted him. It sounded like a good way to get information. "We can forget this little murder attempt ever happened if the information is good enough," Again, a lie, but Abel had to lie to him. He gave Caroline a reassuring grip on her thigh, hoping she understood.



Usually, Caroline was able to see the good in people. She could make excuses for the reasons that people harmed her in most situations, even if it was a tiny bit delusional. She’d even started guessing perhaps Alexander himself simply wasn’t loved as a child and that’s why he was set out to kill her. But neither was Caroline, and she didn’t turn out to be some freak who spent his days torturing another man’s wife simply because she didn’t want to date them. As Caroline stared into the eyes of the man, she couldn’t feel sorry for him. She’d done nothing to him, she wasn’t a terrible person to work for. She was kind and giving, she never wanted to be a problem. It wasn’t like the Tesfayes didn’t pay extremely well for their help in keeping Caroline safe. So, for this man to have seen the damage that Alexander had caused her, and to still accept the amount that Caroline spent on a shopping spree some days was honestly baffling.

She shifted a tiny bit on his seat on Abel’s right thigh, her eyes narrowing as the man started to speak. What did he mean? It was obvious to the couple there was something truthful in what he was saying. Abel jumps into the smooth transition of offering to pay the guy, though she knew that a man who’d hurt Caroline wouldn’t be leaving with a single penny. He wouldn’t be rewarded for it, and it seemed fair that a false promise could be used, since he’d falsely promised to get her backstage safely, instead he was the reason she had her stomach pumped. She was scared this other accident would make it even harder to get pregnant, and for that, she was angry.

She didn’t speak at first, she just let her hand find Abel’s, a small little brush her thumb so that he’d know that she knew he was bluffing. Sweat was dripping off the man in front of them, his eyes on the remote in Abel’s hand and he was trying to get his words out. “Now.” Caroline said softly, using her own hand to make her husband barely press the button. “Just a little motivation to get you started.” she explained, though there was a tiny little smirk on her lips that gave away that she enjoyed the power.

“He’s known you for over a decade, he thinks you’re his angel. He thinks you’ve saved him and that he needs to save you, too. You think he doesn't visit Trip? He’s everywhere, the cops? He pays me to not pay attention to you. He’s been working on this all these years and he’s ready to do whatever it takes.” he started. Caroline gulped at the mention of the name “Trip”, it was her birth father’s nickname because he was the third Deacon in his family.

“I don’t know exactly when but I saw some of the plans in his office, and it’s been going on for…well, forever. He thinks eventually you’ll remember him…” he said, eyes darting from Caroline to Abel, to the remote in his hand. Jordan was the first to speak up, “what the hell does any of that even mean, dude? You speaking’ in riddles like you want to die, and I’d be happy to inject you with the amount of fentanyl you gave Caroline. Though, I have to admit, I’m not that good at measuring, might be double…triple.” he said, stepping forward, even Jordan was fiercely protective of Caroline. She sort of figured that perhaps he’d seen Abel through his darkest times and thought Caroline was good for him. That they were good for each other.

“I’ll tell you what it means….” Caroline started, trying to come to terms with the fact she was about to jump head first into her past to find answers to make sure that she was able to have a future. “It means we’re going to Louisiana.”



Abel felt Caroline press down on his hand and glanced up at her briefly. At least she knew that he was lying to the man. He hoped that the lies would pay off and that the truth would come out, or that they would have enough evidence to bring to the Los Angeles Police Department but he doubted they would listen. They hadn't listened the entire time, for over a year, all the response that Abel and Caroline had received was that they were working on it and taking the correct steps in order to solve the crimes. Meanwhile, Caroline and Abel had done most of work. Abel and Jordan, at this point, were figuring things out faster than any officer had. Sure, a few clues here and there that Abel and his security team didn't have access to had helped them connect a few dots but they were still missing the bigger picture. They were close, though. Abel could feel it.

Listening to the man finally give details, helpful details, on the case that he had been desperate to solve for his wife. He wanted their life together to be peaceful. He half-blamed Alexander stalking Caroline for their inability to become pregnant. Though he wasn't entirely sure if that were the reason; it was the only logical explanation aside from the birth control disguised as prenatals and then this most recent scare with the Fentanyl.

Processing the information was a lot for Abel. He even called Caroline Angel Face. So, maybe Abel could believe the delusion of it all. The man was clearly not mentally well but it didn't excuse his actions. He had every intent to hurt Caroline, or worse, and Abel couldn't handle it. He felt sick to his stomach but couldn't show it. And while the expression on his face never changed; his eyes did. "Who the f*** is Trip" was all Jordan could be heard mumbling and Abel simply shook his head, as if to tell him that this would not be a good outcome. Not if Caroline's sperm donor was involved. It was deeper, much deeper than Abel had anticipated.

Abel eyed Jordan as he finally spoke up and, honestly, Abel agreed with him. Jordan had opened his mouth before Abel could but he seemed to understand a bit more of the riddle than Jordan did. Despite being close to Caroline, Jordan didn't know every detail about Caroline's past. Sure, they had spoken, he knew that, but Abel had spent so much more time with Caroline and getting to know her and her past. They had gone on many drives in the beginning of their relationship and talked about their lives, both past and present. And, right now, this man was simply connecting the missing dots.

"We'll have to discuss this at a later date," Abel said after clearing his throat. "We have to get you back to the hospital, Caroline, before the shift changes.. and they're coming up." He looked from Caroline to the man in front of them, shaking his head. "I don't believe that you don't know what's going to happen to Caroline. I don't believe that you don't know his plans. You're a disgusting, vile, piece of sh*t, and I would never, f***ing ever give you some much as a cent after all of the sh*t you've personally put Caroline through. You're lucky you're still breathing, but don't worry, you won't be for much longer. Not after me and Jordan are finished with you." His voice was cold, emotionless, until he turned to Caroline and began speaking to her. "Baby, we really do need to go, but leave him with a little something to remember you by," He said, offering her the remote once again.



At first, Caroline didn’t want to believe the words the man was saying. To think that this has been going on longer than she thought made it feel like every piece of the puzzle she had put together was just the edges. She was sure that she’d met the man at an event in Los Angeles. She had been positive that he’d looked for her because of her following on social media. She’d figured he’d fallen in love with who she was on Tik Tok, but to think that it had nothing to do with the fame that she both worked very hard for and sort of fell into her lap was very confusing. Perhaps, though, if she was honest, the feeling in her gut wasn’t that of being surprised, it was that of confirmation of something she’d known for a while.

The mention of Trip made Caroline want to throw up, the last time she’d seen her birth father he all but spit in her face and asked for money. What did that piece of sh*t drunk have to do with all of this? Sure, Alexander could pay him, but for what? Caroline hadn’t had anything to do with him since she ran away from home, he didn’t know anything about her except for what he could read in the trashy gossip magazines that littered the local grocery store that he stopped in for his twelve pack.

“What does he think I’ll remember?” she asked the man, the way he seemed to groan and wiggle in his chair made him look like some disgusting earth room to Caroline. His brain must’ve been smaller than an earthworm, though, to think he could toy with his boss’s wife’s life. Surely, he knew that he’d get caught, he was in the inner workings of the Tesfaye’s security, and if there was one thing that Abel and Jordan didn’t play with, it was Caroline’s safety. It was funny how easily he folded, the idea of money and walking out of here alive surely was enough motivation to spill the secrets that he’d been holding. She nearly laughed when that rug was pulled out from under him.

The remote was back in her hand, the mentioning of Trip and just how far it all had gone back, had her in a mood. How could someone toy with her for this long? She looked up at Abel for a moment, her warm, big brown eyes staring up at the man she loved. They were soft when they looked at him, she felt loved and safe, even if torture wasn’t part of “normal” people’s foreplay, it certainly felt like it could be a part of theirs. No one had loved her enough to take a life simply for harming her, no one until Abel.

She broke her own gaze, turning to stare at the man, and it was like everyone who’d been hurting her came back flashing in her mind. A rush of rage, seeing red, and angry, she didn’t watch as her thumb moved from just hovering over the button, until pressing it down. She held it for ten seconds, twenty, thirty, forty, and before she knew it, she’d hit a minute. She didn’t even realize that she’d shifted the gauge from whatever medium setting it was on to the high, holding her thumb on the button for as long as she felt the rage. Two minutes. That’s how long it took before he passed out, slumped over the chair like Caroline was in Abel’s dressing room. “Let’s go. I don’t ever want to see his face again.” She said, handing the remote to Jordan and made her way out of the door. The sound of her shoes loud in the completely silent and undisclosed place she’d been driven to, they kept Caroline on a need-to-know basis, just in case she was ever questioned, she simply wouldn’t have the answers. She could tell that Jordan was waiting for her to freak out, to start crying in the backseat of the dark van, but she wasn’t sad. She was angry. She was tired of being the punching bag for these men, she was tired of looking over her shoulder, and she was tired of having her life dangled in front of her husband. She was ready for this to end, and if it took shocking every single person that decided to pledge their allegiance to Alexander and not to Abel, she’d be happy to do it. She’d have to make sure that her shoe collection could support such things, but unlike the man who she left slumped in a chair, money wasn’t an issue for her.

It didn’t take them long for her to slip back into the hospital, it was easy as a nurse slipped a few grand to get her back hooked up before anyone noticed she was gone. She even checked twitter, and TMZ, all reporting that Caroline and Abel hadn’t been seen since she was checked into the hospital. People who were at the concert were speaking about seeing her looking seemingly f***ed up and going backstage. Some fans wondered if she simply overdosed while others reminded them that Caroline had been fighting a stalker, and sent them links to reddit where fans had been trying to solve the case along with the Tesfayes.

All Caroline knew was that when she was discharged, they’d be taking their little private plane to Louisiana. It was time for her to face her fears and see what answers her past held. Perhaps, they could pay Trip enough to tell them the truth, he wants money, he’s always wanted money. She knew Abel wouldn’t want to give a single cent to him, he was the only person who knew anything really about her past before she was adopted, aside from Birdie who had bullied the man herself into signing her papers so that she could be free of that. By the time the doctor made his rounds, Caroline was sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed with Abel tucked in next to her, even though the bed was much too small for the two of them. It was funny how peaceful she felt when she was able to dish out some revenge….

08/03/2023 05:23 PM 

give him something to remember you by, baby


“Do you know what you’re asking, Caroline?”

It was a fair enough question, it wasn’t like Caroline had ever asked to go before in a serious manner, she usually just joked so she had the privilege of him being extra nice to her when saying a firm “no” and another reminder that it simply wasn’t safe. Did she know what she was asking? She did. She truly did, so much so that she was ready to list out a very detailed list of ten things ranked from least convincing to convincing. Give her thirty minutes and her laptop and she could come up with a powerpoint presentation with visuals. She smirked to herself at the idea, an amused little grin she thought about font combinations and if she just stuck ten pictures of her ass if that would change his mind. It was the morphine thinking, probably, she was very aware of the damage done to her body by the life saving measures. She raised her eyebrow when he spoke, after talking silently with Jordan, and he agreed to let her go….and participate.

It took some work to figure out the whole hospital thing, but Caroline reminded the two men that sneaking out and coming back would be the best. With two guards at the door, and both men inside with the frail and fragile Caroline as she rested from the latest attack was the perfect alibi if this went wrong. She wasn’t naive enough to think that her husband didn’t have blood on his hands, and she was sure the bloodstain would be darkening at the latest man who’d laid their hands on his wife. It would be a lie if she pretended like it wasn’t something she loved about him.

All it took was the guards to be suddenly distracted and Caroline to slip out in her normal clothes, sunglasses and a full face of makeup. Caroline couldn’t be walking around in six inch heels right after having her stomach pumped, that would simply be unlikely, but there was a lot about Caroline Tesfaye that was likely.

She felt nervous, but she was so tired of people hurting her without being able to look her in the eyes while admitting it. She found herself sitting on a table shoved against the wall with her ankles crossed, Jordan on one side of her, Abel on the other, and the security member on the team, one who had been working for them awhile, and somehow that made it all the worse.

“Look, man, I don’t know why I’m here…” he lied..


It took a bit of convincing from the security that Abel had put in place to ensure that Caroline's hospital room was heavily guarded and not a soul allowed in while they were gone. Slipping out of the hospital wasn't exactly easy for Abel, careful not to let anyone catch a glimpse of his face, knowing the tabloids would run wild with headlines if Abel was seen leaving the hospital without Caroline when she had nearly died hours ago. But, thanks to Jordan, all of the arrangements had been made, and they were able to slip out unnoticed.

Once inside the undisclosed location, Abel leaned back in his seat, staring. It was like he was waiting for the man to start spilling his guts. As if someone like Abel truly scared him, especially since he had only known Abel as his boss. And, shockingly enough, Abel was a good person to work for. He never asked for much, was friendly towards everyone despite his mood shifts from the events that had been happening all around him, and paid his staff well. To see someone who he had once trusted sit on the opposite side of him hurt. It cut deep. It made him realize how little he could truly trust people when it came to money and fame. He had quite literally paid this man to help protect Caroline and this is how he repaid him? Surely, he'd regret it by the end of the night.

"I don't know why I'm here," Abel mocked with an eye roll. He was tired of this pointless back and forth. This wasn't the first time a member of his team had betrayed him but it was the first time that he had intended on bringing him to the edge of death. He had toyed with Caroline's life so why shouldn't Abel toy with his? It only seemed fair.

Jordan sighed, shaking his head, though ultimately remained silent. He'd seen it before.... denial. It was the worst, especially whenever it was obvious that a team member had betrayed their trust. Jordan truly was part of Abel's family, at this point, so he took the attacks towards Caroline personally. Whatever Abel saw fit as punishment, Jordan agreed, though he was a little unsure if Caroline would be able to handle what she was about to see. Abel was confident she would be okay but Jordan had his doubts.

"If you were smart, which you're not, you would have told me what was going on whenever Alexander approached you. He's paying you, I already know that. I had Jordan check your bank account. We could see the wire transfers." Abel raised a brow, staring at the now ex-security team member. "You do realize I could have paid you more to not get involved, right?" His expression was blank, his eyes emotionless, his voice unamused and cold. "I would have protected you and made sure you were safe but now.. Now that's all over with. And, I can tell you're still in denial, so let's clear this up rather quickly. We have things to do." He said as he stood, taking hold of the shock collar that Jordan causally handed over to him as he walked over to the man, placing the collar around his neck and tightening it, despite the ex-team member attempting to jerk away, cursing at Abel in the process.

"Are you scared yet?" He asked with a smirk, returning to his seat, "And I'm not talking about being scared of me," He said, finally glancing to his right, vision locked on Caroline. "Go ahead, baby, ask him some questions. I'll make sure he answers you. It's the absolute least he could do,"



Caroline waited for the feeling of fear to creep up her neck. She waited for the cold and stale air of the room to decorate her skin with goosebumps. She waited for her hands to shake, and for her to realize that she shouldn’t be here. It was her first time being involved in anything like this. She often wondered if her husband was worried for her safety, or if he was terrified that she wouldn’t be able to separate this Abel from the man that crawled into bed next to her every night, pressing kisses that felt like “I love yous” to every inch of her skin. But Caroline didn’t have to see it to know who her husband was. She knew every aspect of his soul, she’d memorized it so well, and Caroline was attracted to the power. She liked being married to a man that demanded respect. She liked the way people treated her when they were scared of him, she liked knowing that with a snap of her perfectly manicured fingers, she could punish anyone. He’d burn the world for her, and as she stared daggers into the man who’d drugged her, she wanted him to burn, too.

She knew that he was hoping Caroline’s presence meant he would get away. She could tell he was betting that the sweet girl who he’d been helping keep safe for the last few months was the only side to her. She wondered if he knew that she was the only one in the room that could save him, and she wasn’t sure he deserved to be saved. It wasn’t like she planned on watching him die, but she did plan on letting that collar do its job and get some well-deserved answers.

She watched with calm eyes as he squirmed from the collar, a soft little laugh escaping her lips, didn’t he know who he was messing with? “What did you drug me with?” She asked, the man pressing his lips together and shaking his head.

“I didn’t drug you. You got sloppy drunk. Again.” Shock.
“I’ll ask you again, what did you drug me with?” Shock.
“I didn’t-” Shock.

“Try again, we can do this all night.” Caroline said, as if she was bored with the answers, twirling her wedding band on her finger and looking up at the man. “It’s not me who’s getting shocked.” she reminded him. She was almost surprised at herself, how cold she could be when pushed to such limits. How many times must she almost die before she’d snapped? She slid from the table, the heels on her shoes sounding loud in the mostly quiet room. She slid in her husband’s lap, perching herself on his knee, for the free hand that wasn’t controlling the collar was. “Again. What did you drug me with? And don’t lie.” she said softly, she didn’t need to talk loud, he was strapped to the chair right in front of her.

“Please. Please, fine, it was Fentanyl.” He said, sweat had started to pool on his forehead and he was getting more nervous. The yelps of pain had been like music to her ears, finally, some payback for the amount of trauma she was going through. “So, what was the plan? You were trying to kill me?” she asked softly, her voice still as sticky sweet, it wasn’t as if she could really change that it dripped out of her mouth like honey. “That’s what my life is worth to you? What? Twenty grand?” She baited, she knew that the number was probably higher, and his greed would show before his truth. “I didn’t know you were on drugs, Caroline, I–” he started. “Shock him. He doesn’t get to say my name.” she said, quickly, looking over at Abel to confirm she meant it.



Abel was quiet, observing just how Caroline spoke to him. It was different. This was a side that Abel had never experienced before from Caroline. Even in her darkest, saddest moments, he had never expected her to take charge in the way she had. He wanted Caroline to have full control of this situation, but if she wanted less, he was happy to pick up where she left off. Or if she couldn't handle the intensity of the situation. She had nearly died several times over the course of the last year and a half. And it scared Abel to death that he was going to end up losing her if something wasn't done. Somehow, someway, Abel needed to prove that he was also willing to risk it all to protect his wife. This was just the first step.

To Abel, Caroline never needed saving. She was never the type to rely on anyone, especially not a man, for help. She had done all of this on her own. He did, however, believe she needed a small push in the right direction. She needed to know it was okay for her to ask this man exactly what she wanted to know. Caroline deserved answers more than anyone in the room with them. He had no reason to betray them the way he had and now? Now his life was quite literally in Caroline's hands.

Tilting his head to the side, Abel watched closely, taking in her reactions to the first time she had the shock collar. It was set on medium, enough to hurt, but not enough to kill anyone. Maybe he had a bad heart, Abel noted mentally, but he didn't give a f***. Caroline deserved to torture him.

"It was only fifteen grand," Jordan mumbled, loud enough for all parties involved to hear. He was annoyed by the small amount of money. Caroline was worth far more alive. But to kill her over 15k? Desperation at its finest.

"If you really needed money that badly, I would have helped you," Abel was one of the most giving celebrities. He never felt the need to post about how much he donated, but all of the other news outlets did. He had donated 8.3 million dollars in his career and didn't intend on slowing down any time soon. "I don't ask for much but I do expect loyalty. You weren't loyal to Caroline or to me. Don't bother asking now. You drugged her and tried to kill her. Now, you're going to pay."

Raising a brow whenever he mentioned her name, Abel couldn't help but smirk. Taking the small remote from Caroline's dainty hand, he simply used his thumb on his free hand to hold down the button for twenty seconds - fifteen seconds longer than Caroline had prior. Abel seemed unfazed by the begging and crying. "No one cared whenever Caroline was begging for you and Alexander to stop. Why should we give a f*** about you?" His voice was cold. "I think you need to show her some f***ing respect." He turned to Caroline, placing a soft kiss to her cheek. "How would you like him to address you, baby?" He asked, his voice immediately softening. He was an entirely different person around Caroline, even when speaking to her.



There was something that felt so powerful about holding the remote in her hand. There was something about the way the man squirmed when she hit it, holding it down for a mere five seconds, inflicting just a tiny bit of pain back to the man. It wasn’t matched for how Caroline felt waking up, again, in a hospital room with her stomach pumped and no idea how she got here. She swallowed, trying to remove the pain from her throat to ensure that her voice didn’t shake. He wouldn’t get that satisfaction. Her fate hadn’t been in her own hands for so long, her stalker had been dangling the string of her life and snipping away pieces and pieces of it. How long until Abel couldn’t save her? What was next? Sometimes she swore she could hear the clock ticking in her head, counting down the seconds until she wasn’t alive anymore. It used to make her sad, and scared, it made her want to retreat and beg whatever god that was up there to keep her alive. But now? It made her angry. Her fury felt red hot. She felt like scorched earth, perhaps she didn’t need god. Perhaps, the king on the throne was her husband and as she sat on his right thigh, her own throne, she felt invincible.

She couldn’t believe that the man was still denying it. He’d been working for them for a few months, maybe more, their security detail was so large it was hard to keep up with sometimes. But he knew enough to know that risking Caroline’s life would be more than just risky. He knew that disloyalty to the Tesfaye’s wouldn’t be met with anything other than repercussions.

07/29/2023 06:27 PM 

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07/29/2023 04:38 PM 

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