Lennon.

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November 28th, 2021




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Age: 27
Country: United States

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11/28/2021 05:34 PM 

WLHYL EP 5 - Fergal Zuccalmaglio



Hey hi hello, and welcome to another episode ‘When Life Hands You Lennon’s’, the podcast where we talk about anything and everything! This weeks special guest is my super handsome, super strong, and super talented husband, Fergal Zuccalmaglio! Say hi to the people babe!

-laughs; Salutations to the people.

It’s about time I got your butt in here. Did you bring me any pizza?

The only reason you married me. The pizza. It walks in the room before I do. -laughs; of course I did. But before we move on, I just want to say... you look exceptionally lovely today.

That’s not the only reason! It is high up there on the list though...-laughs, flashing a smile; you’re making me blush, stop it. You look hot today too. But that’s not why we’re here! -laughs; for those that don’t know, which I assume many don’t, you started wrestling again. What made you decide you wanted to get back into it again after spending so much time away from it?

I love to bust your little lady nuts. It's cute as hell. -laughs before growing serious at her question; It's definitely no secret that my wrestling career has been nothing short of controversial. It's no secret that I've struggled with addiction for most of my life. Long story short, for those who don't know, I was let go from the WWE for violating my contract after a very public relapse. As fate may have it, I recently reconnected with Triple H and they are willing to give me another shot. I didn't dream of this when I was a kid, I won't sit here and lie. But I fell in love with it. The free pizza didn't hurt my chances for a comeback either. -laughs;

-laughs, rolling her eyes at him in a playful manner before listening intently; Has it been a hard transition to get back into the ring after so much time off? You’ve obviously stayed in shape - you’re welcome, by the way - but, has it been physically taxing on your body at all after not being in the environment for so long?

It's funny because I'm no stranger to fitness and keeping in shape but man.. the bumps, the hits.. It's rough. -laughs, showing off a few bruises on his arms; I can look like I'm in shape all I want but my body isn't nearly as conditioned as it was during my prime. It's definitely going to take a few long weeks to get back into "fighting shape". I'm excited for what's to come though. It's a plus to have a hot young wife keeping me on my toes.



Like I said, you're welcome! -laughs; Has there been any negative feedback from people in the locker room since coming back?

-thinks for a second, laughing; All I'll say is that not everyone was happy to see me. I wasn't in the best place mentally when I was wrestling and it showed, especially in the locker room. I know that I have much to prove. I know that a lot of that is less about my in ring abilities. I just hope that some of these lads are open to giving me a second chance to prove my character. The real me. Not the a**hole kid fresh out of rehab who thinks the world owes him something. Problem is that ego's get in the way of squashing beef. The only fighting I wish to do is in the ring. That's it. So we'll see.. next interview I'll give you an update. -winks; but what about you? How do you feel about me wrestling again?

I can see why there would be some tension.. but hopefully it won't be too hostile of an environment. I've known you for many years, even back when you were an a**hole kid fresh out of rehab who thought the world owes him something, -laughs, before continuing; and I think you've grown a lot. Which... takes me to your question. I'm excited for you. I know how much you love this sport, and how much you enjoy being in the ring. I've seen how much of your heart and soul you put into it, time and time again. I guess I'm afraid of you getting hurt, though. You're not as young as you once were, grandpa. -grins; Do you have any scheduled matches coming up? Anything to look forward to?

I think the part of all of this that I'm most looking forward to are the cakes you're gonna bring me after my big boy matches. -laughs; I'd like to put in a special request, so jot this down: peanut butter German chocolate. No panties. -nods; In all seriousness, that means a lot to hear you say that. You've seen me at my worst. I'm not proud of it but I am proud of where we are now. -laughs; trust me, I feel it every day. My joints pay a heavy price for this sh*t. It's worth it to me though. I'd run my body into the ground for this. I just love it. -thinks; It's always fun to feud with Seth Rollins, that's what my schedule seems to be leaning towards but I'd say the biggest thing to look forward to is the way the crowd reacts. I'm not sure how well I'll be received. Either way, it's going to fuel me to keep going. Keep getting better. Keep proving myself. I'll build off of whatever they give me.



As if I wouldn't bring you your favorite cake. Might as well make it two of your favorite cakes, if you know what I mean. -wiggles her eyebrows; Hopefully they won't keep you stuck in the same storyline for months and months on end like they did with Brock Lesnar... I'm still mad you didn't win that match at Royal Rumble a couple of years ago. -laughs;

Three.. one for each hand and my mouth. -gasps with a grin; uh oh.. is this PG-13? -looks around, laughing. Adjusting the mic, tugging at his shirt; is it hot in here or just me? -laughs; Yeah, I think that was the only match you watched. Mainly to see me in man panties, admit it. It sure was a time to be alive.. let me tell ya... but no, they aren't going to put me anywhere important for a while if I had any guess. I won't get into the politics right now. We don't need another twitter war between myself and the big man... yet.

Fergal!!! -she laughs, reaching over the table to swat at him; now is not the time!!! Sorry folks, my husband has quite the sense of humor and sometimes forgets there are people listening. -laughs; it wasn’t the only one I watched. Just one of the only important ones. Plus it was a different time in our lives back then! The manties were a plus though. It sucks, in a way, that you have to prove yourself all over again. Are you nervous about that? Or are you nervous about how the fans are going to react to your arrival?

I don't forget, baby.. I just don't necessarily give a sh*t. -laughs; this is why I need PR up my arse 24/7. I'm a work in progress.. but who isn't right? -nods; Ok, fair. You were more interested than I was -laughs; I appreciate you. I always have. -goes to speak but lets out a sigh in thought; I think.. that regardless of whether people love me or hate me they can't deny the fact that I can wrestle. I'm not nervous about how the fans perceive me. To be honest, I expect many more boos this time around. I'm not a face. In wrestling terminology that's the "good guy". I'm coming back as the bad guy. Playing off of the way I left. Boos or cheers, it's a reaction. I'm making people feel something and that's what I'm aiming for. Hate me all day. -laughs;

Fair enough, -she laughs; You can wrestle. I’ve seen it, and there’s definitely no denying your talent. If anything, I’m excited to see you get back out there and kick some ass. I’m sure others will be too!
Okay, we’re gonna switch it up and do a speed round. Ready?

You're making me blush.. -turns red, laughs; my heart is beating extra fast. See what you do to me? Ok.. ready, I am.

Stop, you’re making me blush! Okay! Favorite finisher that’s not your own?

We're exposing ourselves here, babe. -laughs, turning redder; Hmmm... ok.. most definitely the curb stomp and the stone cold stunner. Magic.

Yeah well… everyone knew we were grossly in love with each other so… they’ll get over it. -laughs; Good choices! Favorite place to wrestle?

They don't have much choice. -takes a sip of water; Oh.. one million percent, Madison Square Garden. The energy. The history. I love New York City and that place is it. But I also get that feeling in Ireland. My heart is in both places.

Do you have plans of ever going back to Ireland? Not just to wrestle but to live? Or do you prefer the hustle and bustle that the city has to offer?

It's weird because... I was born in Dublin, ya know.. but I truly feel like I was reborn here in New York. I was adopted here when I was 7 so.. I feel like there are two lives there.. two births, if that makes sense. But that's a topic for another day. I think I could live in Ireland, but I would need a place here too. I would miss the states, I would miss my family. I'm Irish but I'm Italian American. -laughs; who makes pizza for a living and play fights men in underwear. It's a mind blowing existence. I'm not sure I actually answered your question -laughs;

-she laughs, nodding her head; it kinda answered it but I’ll accept it as ‘yes and no’. Speaking of pizza! What made you want to get into opening your own shop?

A drunk night hangin' out with my brother, Nick. We had an idea that we would open up a pizza spot because at the time we were both dealing with some personal stuff. We figured it would be something we could invest in, focus on and give a real sh*t about. Make our parents proud and all that. My dad has many connects and he helped with the business stuff. I found that making pizza, cooking in general, is something that I love and I'm damn good at it. It calms me. It gives me an outlet and centers me. I struggle with addiction so this is my zen. But yeah, it really did come from a drunken idea one summer night on the stoop like two morons. I wish I had better stories for you guys -laughs; I literally just pull sh*t out of my ass and decide to do them.

Hey, some of the best ideas are drunken ideas. That’s how we decided to get married, after all. -she laughs; we have a lot of specialty items on our menu, but what would you say is your favorite to make?

We really did just wing that huh? -laughs; best decision of my life. Quote me. -eyes light up; Oh man.. the Taco Tuesday Pizza is pretty fun. It's an event. People line up for it. It feels like an epic meal time challenge, it's so ridiculous with all that sh*t on it. I enjoy making things that aren't pizza into pizza. Or f***ing around with activated charcoal and sh*t that isn't "normal" for a small New York City pizza spot. The squid ink is a favorite. I'm excited for the Halal pizza we're unveiling soon. The paella pizza. The goat cheese and pear. I don't want to give too much away.. for anyone listening in the Tri-State area come by Zucc Bro's pizza for a taste bud experience unlike any other. Was that a good plug? -laughs;

It was a great plug, -laughs; You guys…. If you’ve ever had food from a Halal cart, you NEED to try the pizza. It’s so f***ing good, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. -laughs; Thank you so, so much for joining me on the podcast today babe! You can catch Ferg on the USA network every Monday on Monday Night Raw, or if you’re lucky enough, you can catch him in the pizza shop Tuesday-Friday when he’s not traveling! That’s all the time we have for ‘When Life Hands You Lennons’, with me, your host Lennon, but make sure to tune into our next episode, starring Benny Novak! And a huge shoutout to our sponsors, the 'Yeah No, I'm Not Ok' podcast & Zucc Bros!.

We made love to it the other night. A full blown flavor orgy with extra white sauce. You can edit that out. Christ. -laughs. Nods proudly in agreement; Oh, the next one should be good. Benny the Squiggz. -laughs; ok ok.. time to shut up. Thank you everyone. Hug a stranger. Peace out.

FERGAL. SHUT UP!-laughs; Night everybody!


10/25/2021 11:22 PM 

unfinished business.

*a continuation of this piece. please read first to understand what's going on. anyways, thanks for reading if you do. 


The ferry ride into Malvada seemed faster than the first time I had arrived, but maybe that was the point. Maybe it was pulling me in for reasons other than Stone. I didn’t think I had any unfinished business here, but it was possible I had blocked everything out of my mind when I left for New York. I turned to the man to my right, a stranger I had convinced to tag along with me on my journey. He had no business in Malvada, hadn’t even heard of it - that didn’t surprise me though, it was a desolate wasteland for the most part. He seemed eager to start a new life in this unknown state, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he wouldn’t have made it very far… He’d be sacrificed to the members of the Res so I could leave once I figured out why I was being pulled here. “You sure you don’t mind taggin’ along?”

“I don’t mind, no. Not like I had much goin’ for me in the city. Malvada…. It sounds like a cool place. Maybe I’ll find myself a lady and settle down. Find a good paying job. Start a life.” I had to keep myself from laughing. He wouldn’t find much of anything here, but I respected his enthusiasm.

“I won’t be here long… gonna just grab some stuff from my old place. We can meet at the diner in Limbo when I’m done. Sound good?”

“Yeah sure, hey I didn’t catch your name?” The man asked, and reluctantly, I reach a hand out to shake his.

“Marie,” I say. “See ya soon.” I say, turning on my heels to find the car I had rented. I figured I’d leave him here to walk, Limbo wouldn’t be too far away…. Unless the roads had other plans for him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took twenty minutes for me to arrive in Limbo.

I remembered the drive to my old apartment like the back of my hand, and as eager as I was to find out what was waiting for me behind that door, I was too afraid to leave the front seat of the car. My hands had a magnetic grip on the steering wheel, eyes glued to the chipped paint on the side of the building.

My cell phone rings, cutting my attention from the door. Ferg’s face illuminates on the screen, and part of me feels guilty for being here. For leaving home to come back to this place… A place full of so much despair and death and dread. A place I no longer belonged. Sighing, my thumb swipes across the screen, and I bring it up to my ear. “Hello?”

“Just checkin in.. seein’ if ya made it.” He says, and I can tell by his voice that he’s not happy. He told me he understood, but how can I expect that to be true? I left him at home with our kids to go explore a life I once lived without him.

“Yeah, I’m here. I haven’t.. I haven’t gone inside yet. How are the kids?”

“They’re okay, Apollo is sleeping. Lilah’s playin’ with the dog.” The mental image made me smile. I wish I hugged them tighter before I left.

“Okay, well.. I won’t be long, okay? I love you.” I say, a faint ‘love you too’ coming from the other end of the phone before I hung up.

If I was going to do this, it would be now or never.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The apartment looked exactly the same as it did when I left, though the walls were bare and the closets were empty. The only photo left hanging was one of Stone, Lilah and I when she was a year old, a fond memory that I didn’t dare take from this place. My hand reaches out, fingers drifting through the dust that now covered the frame.

“That was a good day, wasn’t it?”

Stone’s voice causes me to jump, spinning on my heels as my hand clings to my chest, an audible gasp leaving parted lips as I see him. He looks good, for a dead man. His hair tucked behind his ear, beard the same length it was the day he died. He leans against the door frame to the kitchen, arms crossed in front of his chest, and for a second, I forget this isn’t real.

“Jesus Stone, don’t do that to me,” I say, rolling my eyes, though my lips tug to a smile. I wasn’t sure what to say, my eyes glued to his face for a long while.

“Where’ve you been?” he asks, sadness in his eyes. I didn’t think I’d have to explain to him my reasons for leaving, or tell him that I got married and had another kid with someone else. I didn’t think I’d feel guilty for it, either. I mean… He left me first, you know?

“Maybe we should sit and talk…”

09/23/2021 01:30 PM 

wrong place, wrong time.| kirby

*i've neglected some of my other muses so i figured i'd write something for my girl Kirby in time for spooky season. i'm hoping to write more of her soon if anyone is interested in a connection/plot involving her. ok thnks for looking bye 



It was easy to reel him in.

It always was.

Kirby’s low-cut shirt hugged her breasts just right, she couldn’t really blame him for staring. “What’s your name?” He’d ask, but she wasn’t dumb enough to give a real answer.

“Tiffany,” she said, manicured hand reaching out to shake his own. She didn’t care enough to ask him for his.

“Haven’t seen you around here before, are you new in town?”

“I guess you could say that,” she replied. “How about you buy me a drink, and we can continue this conversation out back in the alleyway?”

The man happily obliged, ordering her another gin and tonic, and a drink for himself. They spent the night flirting, making half-assed promises of taking each other home and ravishing them the moment they stepped in the door. Well, Kirby’s were half-assed. He seemed pretty genuine about it. Three hours had passed before they finally walked out the door, the man stumbling over his own feet with each step he took. His hands grabbed for Kirby, pinning her to the brick wall of the building, lips messily finding hers.

‘What a terrible kisser,’ she thought as her lips moved with his, trying to make it a little more enjoyable for herself. Though, she never really enjoyed when they shoved their tongues down her throat. Kissing was too intimate for her liking - preferred to keep it to a minimum, at best. She couldn’t risk putting her guard down or feeling vulnerable, but allowed him to continue to kiss her. Slender fingers reached into the waistband of her jeans, a pocket knife hidden under the belt that held them up. Her movements were subtle, he hadn’t suspected a thing - too busy playing tonsil hockey to notice when she flipped the blade.

The jagged edge of the knife punctures the man’s abdomen, just below his stomach.

Blood trickles out of the wound, his hand reaching for the arm that holds the weapon in place, eyes moving to meet the face of his killer. There’s a grin on her lips as she twists the blade, savoring the sound of the man’s pathetic whimpers as he chokes on his blood. A painful melody echoed through the night air as he fought for his life, fading quickly as the knife made a home for itself in another section of his body.

And another.

And another.

There was no motive for this kill - he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or perhaps it was because he was a man, almost all of her kills were (except for her aunt Linda, that bitch had it coming). Maybe she was crazy, or maybe she just needed something to take the edge off - something to ease her anxiety the way drugs once had.

She watched as life drained from his eyes, feeling him slump over a little at a time. It didn’t take long for her to escape his grasp, his body falling to the ground with a THUD. Kirby had done this dance a million times by now; turning the blade on herself, Kirby stabs it into her skin, wincing at the pain that followed. She’d known not to hit any major arteries or organs, known all the ways to make it look like a vicious attack on herself as well. A shaky hand cleans the handle of the blade with an alcohol wipe, before tossing it further down the alley, and a blood curdling scream finds its way out of her lungs.

She falls to the ground in a dramatic effect, really hoping to sell it to the police that she was an innocent victim on this cool September night. A hand clutches her own wound, though it wasn’t nearly as painful her dead partner in crime made it out to be. “Someone help!!” She yelled.

It seemed like forever had passed until someone finally answered her fake calls of attention, a stranger walking down the street running to her side. “What happened??” They’d ask, and she’d wince in pain as they saw the blood.

“We.. We were just trying to have fun, and a man came up and jumped us. He wanted our money, and when we didn’t give it to him, he stabbed me and then… he..” A finger points at the man laying across from her. “He tried to save me.. I think.. I think he’s dead… please help,” words broken through her sobs. She was a good actress when she wanted to be.

When the cops showed up, they questioned Kirby, but found no holes in her story, and she was sent to the hospital to be stitched up, and was released the next day. Admittedly, it wasn’t her best work. It was a sloppy kill, less thought out than her others. She’d have to remember to not be so open next time.

Maybe she was crazy, but at least she hadn’t been caught.

09/20/2021 07:35 PM 

stupid enough.

* this is a starter for Fergie / the beginning of a drabble series we're gonna work on - everything that follows said storyline is agreed upon by both writers and doesn't chagne our dynamic. pls don't be mean to him lol

I didn’t think he would be stupid enough.

To look me in the eyes, and tell me he loved me, all while pretending he wasn’t coming down from his high, or going through a withdrawal. I knew the signs. I was an addict, too. I know when he’s lying and I can tell by the look in his eye that he’s been using again.

I just didn’t think he would be stupid enough to do it in our home, where I could find it.

The baggy was hidden well enough that the naked eye could barely see it - tucked under a pile of clothes in the corner of the closet. The pile had been sitting there for weeks now, so maybe he assumed I wouldn’t have touched it. Can’t say I blame him though, it’s not like I was keeping up on the house chores. But I couldn’t stand the mess and wanted him to come home to a clean house, and so… I picked the pile up, and to the floor it fell.

At first, my mind didn’t register what I was looking at. But I've seen enough dime bags full of white powder to know. Shaky fingers reach for the substance, holding the bag between my thumb and index, holding it away from me like it were going to explode in seconds. Just the sight alone made my stomach churn, and truthfully, I thought I was going to vomit all over the pile of clothes I had tucked against my chest.

I didn’t think he would be stupid enough.

I managed to make it to the washing machine without getting sick, but the uneasy feeling in my stomach doesn’t seem to settle once I finish cleaning. I don’t think it ever will, to be honest.

My husband is a good man, but a stupid man at that. Maybe he just wasn’t thinking… that was logical, right? Maybe he just forgot that I lost my first husband to the same demon that sat upon his shoulder now. Or maybe he just didn’t care. About me, or Lilah, or Apollo. Maybe he was f***ing selfish and didn’t think about how it would affect me in the long run. As good of a man as Ferg was, he was f***ing stupid.

Hours seemed to pass before he finally arrived home, and I tried so hard to hold my tongue, so hard to not pick a fight. But how could I not? He was bringing drugs into our home, where my babies could find them, and… who knows what would have happened then. I watch as he walks into our bedroom, straight to the closet before his shower. Typical.

“Looking for something?” I ask. My fingers hold up the bag, and I can tell he wants to speak, but I stop him. “I’m going to speak, and you’re going to listen, and then we’ll go from there.” I toss the baggie onto the bed, watching as his eyes follow it. “I don’t know why you would be a f***ing idiot and bring this sh*t into my home, or why you thought I wouldn’t find out you were using again, but I’m really disappointed in you. Did you forget how Stone died, Ferg? Did you forget that he shoved a needle in his arm and f***ing died while doing the same thing you so desperately seem to need? What.. what if Lilah found it? Or Apollo? What would you have done if our f***ing babies ingested this sh*t and they died because YOU were careless. Do you not care about them? Or ME?”

I exhaled a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, eyes burning with the threat of tears. “How long have you been using?”

Part of me didn’t want to know. I wanted to keep living my ‘perfect’ life with my ‘perfect’ husband and my ‘perfect’ family. But maybe that was the problem… Maybe I was just ignorant to think our life was anything but average. Maybe I was stupid for thinking we just suddenly recover from our addictions rather than fighting with the devil on our shoulders day in and day out.

Sighing, my eyes search his face. “I.. I don’t want to lose you.” It was an admission I had made many times before, but none of those held up much meaning like they do now. Maybe this was the universe's way of giving me karma for not taking care of Stone when he needed me the most. Or maybe it just wanted to laugh in my face and kick me while I'm down.

I couldn’t lose my husband.

Not again… not like this.

09/20/2021 02:01 PM 

never ending race.

*a reply to Fergie's bulletin. Please check out his work - he's one of the most talented writers I know, and I feel really lucky to be creating with him. 

His words seem to cut through me like a knife. There was some truth behind them, of course, but that didn’t make it better. “I’m not Stone, the comparisons need to stop.” He was right - he wasn’t Stone. But I expected him to at the very least, understand. Understand my anger and my fears. Understand WHY I was yelling at him in the first place. Was I being a little hypocritical? Sure. I did like to dip my nose into the white lady every now and then - but I knew when enough was enough, and I knew not to bring it around the kids. Our kids.

“F*** you,” the words flew out of my mouth quicker than I thought they would, but I don’t regret them. He had no right bringing drugs into our home, keeping them around our babies. He had no right throwing my relationship with Stone in my face. He had no right to be angry with me, for being angry with him. My anger builds with each word he speaks, but I try to be understanding. I get what it’s like to want to silence the voices in your head - to put on a mask that hides you from the harsh realities of the world. I know he meant well, and that he wasn’t actively looking to hurt me or our kids, but… his actions said otherwise.

“Do you think it’s fair to Lilah for you to be doing this? Genuine question, Fergie. Because she already lost a dad, and it took a long time for her to get over that. She’s too young to be losing another one. And Apollo?? Do you think it’s fair to him? He’s two months old, don’t you… don’t you think about him?” I take a seat on the edge of the bed, tears staining red cheeks. I didn’t care if he saw me cry, I needed him to feel what I felt. Feel the fear that rushed through my body the second I found the baggie. “You can call me a hypocrite all you want, Ferg. But these kids… OUR kids, they’re my life. I won’t allow them in a situation where their safety is in jeopardy..”

It wasn’t a threat, or an ultimatum. It was the truth.

My head hangs low as he speaks, fingernails picking at the skin around my cuticles. “My feelings don’t matter.” I wanted to stop him - to tell him that they do matter. That he matters. It’s the only reason I brought any of this up, because he matters. But I allow him to continue, watching as he walks to the window on the opposite side of our bedroom.

“I’ll flush it.”

I wasn’t sure I trusted him enough to do it. But I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, to show him that I had faith that he would do the right thing. Exhaling a sigh, my free hand reaches up to wipe at the remaining tears that stained my skin, and I stand, slowly making my way over to my husband. I hesitate with my movements, hands reaching for his face, holding him for a moment so our eyes can meet. “I’m sorry… I know that you’re struggling. I didn’t realize how bad, and I feel awful for that.” My thumb moves across his cheek, caressing his bearded skin. “I love you, and I’m scared - I didn’t.. I didn’t know you were using again. And it brought back bad feelings.”

My hands drop then, and my feet begin to pace in front of him, walking back and forth in an attempt to ease the anxiety that had crept up on me. “I didn’t know Stone was using again when he died. I could have saved him if I did. Not that… Not that I think that would change anything between him and I - we really weren’t good for each other, and I’m sure we would have ended up divorced or something anyway. But.. I could have saved him.”

Word vomit. It was hard to stop once I started.

“And I freaked out because I.. I can’t handle finding you face down on the bathroom floor. It would ruin me. I’m trying to save you, because I couldn’t save him. Don’t you get it? You.. you’re everything to me and I need you to stay alive, okay? Because if you don’t.. If you don’t, then I don’t know what I’ll do with myself or with the kids, or with the dog, or with anything. I need you to stay alive. Please..” My eyes sting from crying as they find his once again, a shaky hand reaching out to hand him the baggy.

“Please…” I plead.

I know my husband is a good man - he has his flaws just like everyone else, and I don’t fault him for that. I don’t fault him for fighting his demons or for giving into the temptation that I’ve narrowly avoided myself. I don’t fault him for falling back into a cycle that’s so difficult to get out of. I don’t fault him for anything, really. I’m scared that one day, he won’t be able to get himself out of this never ending race - that he’ll find euphoria in the presence of only the devil himself.

I don’t need much to live a happy life, but I need him. 

I've already lived life without Ferg once, I know I couldn't do it again. And I don't know where we'll go from here, or how we'll make our way out of this cycle - but I'll do anything to keep him safe. 

08/01/2021 03:36 PM 

a father's love. | drabble

“Mommy, how come Apowwo has a dad and I don’t?” Lilah asks, lips pushed out in a pout. She had spent the last twenty minutes playing with Fergie and her brother in the living room while I took a nap, and from the disappointing look on her face, she didn’t have much fun.

The question takes me my surprise; I wasn’t dumb enough to believe that she wouldn’t ask these kinds of questions as she got older. It had been almost three years since her father died, and though I always told her that she did have a dad, I didn’t expect her to understand all that easily. “What do you mean, baby? You do have a dad. Fergie’s your dad, too.” I say, patting the empty space on the bed, indicating that it was safe for her to talk to me. “Come here.”

Little legs drag against the hardwood floor, and she climbs up next to me, cuddling into my side. My arms wrap around her, lips kissing the top of her head - I don’t pry for an answer.

“No he’s not, mommy. I mean…” Her little voice fades, and I watch the frustration in her face as she ponders her words. “I wove him, and I know he woves me, but… I miss my real dad.”

I didn’t know four words could cause me so much pain until they left her mouth. I’ve tried my best to give Lilah a good life - even when I was a sh*tty parent, she always came first. I guess I never took notice of how badly she was hurting - she was only a baby when Stone died. For most of her life, it was me, her, and Talulah. And though she and Fergie had a wonderful relationship, I should have known that she understood that they weren’t blood related. I exhale a sigh, fingers running through her hair. “I know, baby..me too.” I say.

Though I’m happy and secure in my marriage, there’s still the lingering feeling of ‘what if’ - what if Stone were still alive? What if he and I had another baby?

“Listen to me though,” I say, adjusting myself so I can look at Lilah’s face, smiling at her. “Your daddy - your real daddy - he loved you very much. He.. he was sick.” I still didn’t know how to tell her that Stone passed from an overdose. “He didn’t leave you because he didn’t want you, baby. Daddy was just sick. I know it’s confusing, having two dads. But Fergie loves you so much, and I think your daddy helped bring him to you.”

“He did?” She asks, her blue eyes gazing up to my own with a grin.

“Mhmm. I think daddy knew that we both needed someone to lean on, and he handpicked Fergie from the bunch because he knew how much he would love us.” I smile, giving her a small squeeze. "It’s okay to miss your dad, baby. But don’t forget that it’s also okay to call Fergie daddy, too. It doesn’t mean you love your real dad any less. And if you ever need someone that’s big and strong, you can ask him for help, okay?”

Her head nods, and I can tell that she's in better spirits “Okay mommy," she says, slipping off of the bed after giving me a kiss. I ask where she was going, and I watch as she turns with a smile, "to go find Daddy!

07/24/2021 09:25 PM 

happy birthday, Fergie.


I know you said you didn’t want a party, or anything fancy for your birthday. You don’t even want a gift - but I still wanted you to feel special on your big day. I know it’s not much, and that you deserve so much more than this, but I hope you know how special, how loved, and how appreciated you are not only today, but everyday as well. Below are some special birthday wishes from some of your closest friends, and one from me at the end, because I’m greedy and want to be last.

Fergie Ferg, to think we met all those years ago and always wanted to be each other’s friend but didn’t act upon it. Fast forward to today and how you’re turning the big four oh. Who woulda thought? You, sir, are one of my very best friends and you’ve been there for me through so much. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love and adore you. I can talk to you about any and everything and I know that we’ll never judge each other. You mean the world to me and I’m honored to have gotten to know you. I can’t express how truly grateful I am to have you in my life. You’ll always have a friend in me whether it’s to talk about food, more food, or our favorite topic: food. I love you, dude. Happy birthday. I hope you treat yourself to a whole cake. - Benny

Fergalicious - definition - IT'S YOUR F***ING BIRTHDAY Happy birthday, dude. We aren't terribly close, but we've shared a few good laughs. I'm glad to know ya, brotha. This is your day, daddio. Enjoy it before that lil man comes. *Edit, this was sent in before Apollo came, lol - Damien

It's your birthday my lover. I was gonna send a tape of me doing a little strip but then I thought that's not something you give to someone old so I got you diapers and a heated blanket instead. Just don't use it together - could get ugly. I hope you have the best day! Enjoy it while you can! Sooner or later I will see you again...on a silver plate. LOVE YA! - Damian.

- from Miri
Hi Fergalicious, it’s me, the French bread. We met forever ago and somehow always manage to meet up again! You’re an awesome dude and I’m so happy you’re back in my life! I know we may not chat every day, but I’m forever grateful to have you as FAMILY. This whole circle wouldn’t be complete without you. You’re such a joy to have around. With that said, happy birthday my dude. Stay awesome. Xx - Axel

To my resident ballsack eyed friend, w the cool taste in music! First and foremost thank you, kindly for ruining eyeballs and ballsacks for me for the rest of my life. I really wanted to tell you that I think you’re kind of a swell guy and truth be told I am so grateful for the chance to know you better. Thank you, tremendously for taking my bestfriend and loving her the way that she has always deserved to be loved. Thank you for giving us the moon and the stars and just for simply existing. Knowing that there is someone out there who has absolutely no obligation to me that chooses to love and support me, tirelessly. Honestly speaks volumes about the kind of person that you are and makes me even more gracious of your presence. You just kinda swoop in, leave love and ninja turtle retreat back in your shell, like my soft cancer queen ass. And so I resonate with the “here take my love.” And then peek out like tony tony chopper ( I included the gif for the tony tony reference ) to make sure it’s being accepted. You are so special and I’m so happy and grateful that I get to call you a friend of mine. Thanks for being a pal. Always willing to listen, for having tremendous taste in music to muse over and for always serving up the most decadent food. The world is a much better place with you in it and I’m happy you were born! - izzy / gigi


Dear daddy ferg, happy birthday and congratulations on becoming a dad! I know you will be the best role model. you are a great person and amazing friend! but for now enjoy your special day and don't think about your responsibilities! I'm hoping to see you next week! dino hugs
🦖❤️- dino dan

Ohhh Fergie Face, I don't even know where to start. First of all.. they still allow you to have birthday's at your age? Yikes. Haha.. oh come on, I had to. I've had a lot of friends in my lifetime but never one quite like you. I wish just for five minutes you could see yourself through my eyes because words will never do justice to just how much you mean to me. It drives me mad that you don't see how amazing you truly are. Even when you're going through your own sh*t, you make time to talk me through my sh*t and even when you think you aren't helping.. you are. I feel like I say it all the time, but still not nearly enough; I am so eternally grateful for you. Today will forever be one of my favorite days because today is the day my best friend came into the world. The guy who laughs at my stupid jokes; who has seen me at my absolute highest...and lowest and loves me anyway. The guy who teaches me new things daily [Did you know guys could sit on their balls? 'cause I didn't LMAO] and who isn't afraid to tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. I love our friendship and how we can go days or weeks without talking and pick back up as if no time had passed. You're truly one of a kind, Fergie Ferg and I am so grateful that you allow me to walk through life as one of your best friends. I hope you have the most amazing birthday, ever. Filled with all the love and joy possible because YOU deserve it. I love you, bitch boy ♥ - Savannah

Babe - When we met all those years ago, I never imagined that you and I would be here; married, with three kids and a dog, living in NYC, living the Irish/Italian dream, lol. I never imagined you'd be this special to me, or that you and I would find our way back to each other after a year of silence. In a way, I think the Universe knew exactly what it was doing when we were both born, making sure to weave our paths in such intricate ways that brought us to each other more than once. There's no way that this was all just a coincidence, you know? I don’t think there are enough words in this universe to really articulate how thankful I am that you were born all those years ago, or to even articulate just how grateful I am for you as a human. Every day that I get to wake up besides you is a good day - you always take time out of your day to know that I’m loved, that you’re here, and that you want this love just as much as I do, and that means everything to me. But it’s not just our love that I love - I love the love you have for your friends, I love the love you have for Lilah and Apollo, I love the love you have for Mikey. I love the love you have for Poke and matcha green tea. I love the love you have for going to the gym, and for food in general lol. I love how selfless you are, and how you go out of your way to make sure the people you love are okay, even when you’re not okay yourself. I love your sense of humor, and how any joke you tell can make me laugh. I love your face and those gray hairs on your head, and those abs too. Hubba, hubba. The world was blessed the day you were born, and I feel so infinitely grateful to know that I get to be the one that gets to celebrate every birthday with you from here on out. I hope you know how special you are to not only me, but to everyone in this bulletin as well. That you know that despite sometimes feeling left out, you’re still insanely cared for and loved. You deserve nothing but the best, and even though I don’t always believe I can provide it for you, I hope to give you just that. You’re the greatest gift in my universe, baby. Happy birthday - I’ll wear something cute for ya later when the kids are sleeping.

07/18/2021 04:24 PM 

WLHYL EP 2 - Miri & Izzy


Hey, hi, hello, and welcome to this week’s episode of ‘When Life Hands You Lennons’, the podcast where we talk about anything and everything. Truth be told, I have no idea what I’m doing with these things, but thanks for tuning in if you do. -laughs; Anyway, today I wanna talk about every girl’s, gay’s, and they’s favorite thing besides puppies. And tequila…..
FASHION.

I myself like to think I’m fashionable, but I gotta tell you, there are times where I look at past photos of myself and think “Lennon, what the hell were you thinking?” Case in point…. 


That one legged pant/short combo I’m wearing is not it, folks. Who let me outside??? -laughs;

I really wanted to feature some of the stylish babes that are in my inner circle, because I find it easy to pull inspiration from your friends.


Can we talk about Miri’s wedding dress though???? I woulda married her too! Hubba Hubba! And Dev looks SO GOOD in that all black number. Did we expect anything else from the spooky queen herself?

Speaking of Miri, I’m honored to have her as one of today’s featured guests! Welcome to the show, babe!

Hey thanks for having me and the dress. Got that in a garment bag in my closet. No way I could just give away that master piece! -light laughter; I might renew the dress at a later date and make it more casual but who knows.

That would be awesome! When you were dress shopping, did you have a particular style in mind? Or did you go in with no expectations and let your heart choose for you?

-tilts head thinking back to that day; I sort of had an idea in mind. I wanted something that was very much me. I mean could you see me in some huge Princess Diana or Grace Kelly gown with the long train? No ma’am! No ham! I needed something with movement that didn’t make me feel restricted. Something that showed some skin and was still elegant. The mid drift belly peak-a-boo top seemed perfect and the tulle skirt gave it that wedding dress look.

Definitely not -laughs; I think it was perfect, to be honest. Just the right touch of elegance, while still staying true to what makes you comfortable. And honestly, wedding dress shopping is hard! There's so many styles, and options, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't sick of it after trying on three dresses for my own wedding. -laughs; Would you say that comfort is a big part of your day-to-day style?

Awe well thank you. -perks brow at the next question; well I had mine in mind so I only tried on what was remotely close to my vision plus it was such an impromptu wedding that I just wanted to make sure I was walking down the isle on time. motions to her current outfit For y’all that can’t see me I’m wearing a romper shorts set with some flip flops. Comfort is def in my wheelhouse of fashion. I mean I like things I can dress up or dress down. Like right now I have my wedding ring and a bracelet but if I were to go clubbing I’d just add someone bangles a necklace and up the Smokey eye. But umm big fluffy pull over sweaters, daisy dukes, lounge joggers are my jam. I’m a huge tank top person also. I just like versatility.

I think versatility is important when it comes to fashion. I like dressing up t-shirts and dressing down dresses. I think it's all about how you wear the pieces. You look hot, by the way.
-notions to Miri's current outfit; Do you have any trouble putting outfits together sometimes?

So do you babes ! -yells that compliment with much enthusiasm; umm well to be honest when you’re someone like me it becomes easier to know your style. I as you know have DID. So I essentially have 3 other women with 3 separate styles. We all know what we like and dress accordingly. No one messes with anyone else’s clothes so it’s a very organized locker room of female fashion to be honest. You can’t possibly imagine how many shoes we own -laughter to keep the mood light;

You can never go wrong with shoes!! -laughs with her, offering a smile; thank you for being open about your DID, I don’t think you know how helpful that is to people with mental illness. Do you have a favorite style out of your four identities?

Oh no worries. I’ve been trying to be more open and honest about my own struggles which I talk about on my podcast so the mood there is a little more heavy and serious but I try to keep it… upbeat also.* thinks it over* I have a psychologist personality that’s all about vintage 60s prints and styles. The pencil skirts and just very Jackie O. I dig her style.

Your podcast is one of my favorites to listen to, if I’m being honest. It’s so raw and honest, and I think the community needs that every now and then. Anyone listening that hasn’t checked out the latest episode Yeah No, I’m Not Okay with Casey Caverly please do so! We’re gonna jump right into a speed round of questions, ready?

Awe thanks so much for that and the shoutout. Truly appreciated. Uhhh okay !

3 accessories you can be found wearing at all times:

My wedding ring, a blessed Santeria beaded bracelet and a pair of sunglasses

If you were stranded on a deserted island for weeks at a time, what’s one outfit you’d make sure you’d have with you?

Ummm rompers with pockets.

What are some of your fashion ‘do’s’ and fashion ‘don’ts’?

DONTS! Socks with sandals, corduroy shorts/pants. DOS! Anything that shows your shape so curves are truly embraced.

I wholeheartedly agree with the socks and sandals! Ferg does it around the house and I wanna beat him -laughs; Thank you so, so much for joining me!

Ahh no. Tell that old man to get it together *cracking up*! I had such a wonderful time. Thanks for having me!

I think the best thing about fashion, like Miri had mentioned, is that it’s versatile. You can have so many pieces of clothing that are out of the box, but cohesively work together to create a bomb outfit. Which leads me to introducing my next guest! Ladies and germs, please give a warm welcome to my very good friend, Izobella Jonsdittor!

-Squeals in excitement, frantically waving about; Halló Friends! It’s so good to be here with Lennon & Miri. I’m in great company. Super stoked. Thanks for having me, Lennon!

Of course! I'm so happy you could join us! For those that don't know, Izzy is a design consultant for Drew House Clothing, and I knew right away that I wanted her to be included in this podcast when I was brainstorming ideas.


What helps you draw inspiration when you're designing?

I am truly humbled to be apart of this. I love everything that you do, because everything you touch turns to magic. So it makes me thrilled to be apart of this with you. For me I sort of have two different takes. When it comes to Drew house I think we draw inspiration from just wanting to be comfortable while still looking nice. We are bursting with that sunshine energy so we try and incorporate that as well in the form of bright vibrant colors. I’m definitely more a baggy pair of pants and t-shirt kind of girl for my personal style . So that’s more for the sporty boys and girls who want to be comfortable while looking fresh. When I design and style people for events it’s completely different. It’s a marriage of our visions, their style and me bringing that vision to life for them. I draw for them. So in short I would say, it’s about the crowd I’m working with or for. I love incorporating vibrant colors and am sort of stuck in the 80’s-90’s. That’s probably why I’m like yes baby, let’s pair some baggy hammer time pants with a nice form fitting, collared top.

I feel like we're all stuck in the 90's a little bit -laughs; Have you had any difficulty styling people in the past? Like your vision is there, but you're stuck on how to bring it to life? OR would you say it comes easily to you?

Oh yeah. It’s always a 90’a nostalgia filled dance party whenever we are doing fittings. -Chuckles lightly; But oh definitely, I say I primarily like to work with people whose vibes are similar to my own. Because when I pick out pieces for them they’re like “oh hell yeah, this is SO me!!’ And that? That Is the most vindicating feeling for me and all of my hard work. I study people, down to their mannerisms. So for the most part as long as I’m working with easy going people, it’s a piece of cake. I’ve only ever really had a hard time when you get those stoic, mildly high maintenance people that expect you to read their minds. Trying to guess what someone likes or absolutely hates can be such a blow to your craft when they hate it but gave you nothing to work with. I’ve dealt with one of those… that's when I decided to make my clientele a little more selective. Gotta vibe with a good tribe.

I've dealt with people like that before and it's definitely draining, and definitely can cause a drop to your self esteem. Especially when you're proud of your work, and I can see why that would be a tough change compared to the people that are hyping you up. As far as your own style goes, aside from the t-shirt and baggy pants, are there any staples to your wardrobe that you feel like are a 'must have' in your collection?

Absolutely! I think Ms. Erykah Badu said it best when she said “Keep in mind that I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my sh*t.” Girl! -snaps her fingers, erupting into a soft fit of laughter; damn , that’s exactly how it feels! But yes, If I’m not wearing oversized pants and shirts. Then I tend to show off my body a little. I work hard on my body too, because I’m a living breathing model of my own work. But a few must haves that are always on my person, a good pair of shoes. Sometimes I’ll sit in the closet or dressing room for hours analyzing what’s going best with what outfit. I’ll build a whole outfit around the shoes. Give me an elegant pair of jimmy choos for an event. Or a nice sleek pair of Vera wangs for just every day style. If I’m feeling more grunge I’ll bring out the converse. But shoes are the make and break of any outfit I feel. I also just love anklets and all sorts of dainty jewelry to accessorize with.

It’s funny, because Miri and I talked about shoes earlier! You literally can never go wrong with a pair of shoes. To me, I think the shoes really make or break an outfit. Sometimes you can have a really nice outfit put together, and then throw on a really bad pair of shoes and BOOM. Whole outfit is ruined
-laughs; Do you have any future plans as far as your career goes? Anything you’ve been working on?


Forreal! It’s insane. But I guess it shows that shoes are just a universal love. We all speak the same language there. As for my future plans I am kind of a fly by the skin of my teeth kind of girl. But I do have hopes. Back home in Iceland it’s kind of like a mini america but it’s not like big ground breaking opportunities are coming over there. Especially because everything is imported. That’s a big part of why I wanted to move here and see what I can do for myself. My biggest hope is to collaborate with as many brands as possible, but ESPECIALLY female owned. Those are so near and dear to my heart. I love to see slæm tík behavior. That’s “bad bitch behavior.” Which I thoroughly believe radiates from all women. We are a force and we can do anything. Like you… you’re bringing a whole human into this world! I love that, and I just wanna see us ladies take over the world some day! Other than a couple of hopes to stop collaborating , I’m not working on much more than trying to get my life together. If you want me to be honest.

Girl, honestly. FELT THAT! I feel like my whole life is a damn mess -laughs; I really love that you were able to build a life here in America, and I can’t wait to see where the future takes you! As far as designing goes, do you have any plans of branching off to do your own brand? OR do you prefer working for other companies?

Yes! I’d love to have my own brand, either swim wear or like, accessories. It kind of feels like everyone’s done everything though. And I want whatever I contribute to be unique. But strangely enough, even though I have this desire. I have found that since I am a huge people pleaser and my vision typically comes from taking someone else’s wants and making them a reality. I sort of have struggled with the idea of being self-sufficient in that way. I stop and get a little insecure. I wonder “well who says someone else will love this the way that I love it?” Again it definitely comes down to this being my craft and me feeling good when I have someone who's obsessed with something I worked hard on. I think that having such a band in Drew House Is helping me to hone my vision though.

I’d LOVE to rock some of your swimwear, if you ever do design any! I think you have a great future ahead of you, and I’m really excited to be watching the journey from the sidelines. You have so much talent, it’s insane. Okay, we’re gonna do a speed round of questions. Ready?

Thank you! Ugh, If I did, I would probably focus on maternity swim too because I’ve seen a lot of my girlfriends struggle to feel comfortable.

3 accessories you can be found wearing at all times:

Okay! ONLY THREE? -bites down on her lower lip, pondering real hard about that before taking a deep breath; Okay, I’m ready! 3 accessories I can be found wearing at all times? My wedding ring. Hoop earrings. My smile. It goes with everything.

If you were stranded on a deserted island for weeks at a time, what's one outfit you'd make sure you'd have with you?

If I were on a deserted island I’d make sure I had a tight, form fitting black dress, black and diamond studded Jimmy Choos, a gold, diamond hoop and my wedding ring. Because I’m a polar bear and there’s so way I would survive. So I’d wanna look my absolute Sunday best when they found my body. -bursts out laughing.

What are some of your fashion 'dos' and 'don'ts'?

Do: if you have a man in your life. Or if you just buy bigger shirts! You can absolutely take the shirts, throw on a waist cincher and some heels. That’s so simple but damn hot!
ALWAYS build your outfit around your shoes and accessories, FIRST.
Wear the fall colors but don’t go overboard, add a small pop of color!
Wear things that are more flattering for your shape, you’ll be so much more confident! Less is more with make up ladies.

DON’T:
over accessorize, then it becomes distracting and can totally ruin an outfit. Don’t overdue it on the ripped clothes.
If you do ripped jeans, keep a simple clean looking top.
And I’d stay away from big chunky stripped patterned pants. They’re god awful.
Don’t wear things that make you look short, always do things that elongate your posture!


Yessss, I love stealing Fergie's shirts for my outfits! Plus, they're super comfortable! Thank you so, so much for joining us this weekend and for being on the show! If anyone needs a stylist for any upcoming events, you know who to call!

Thank you so so much for having me babe!! This was a blast and I would love to come back some time! Thank you for being so damn awesome!

That’s all the time we have for this week’s episode of ‘When Life Hands You Lennons’! Thanks for sticking around and listening in, and be sure to check out this week’s playlist. A special shout out to our sponsors, the Yeah No, I’m Not Okay podcast, and Zucc Bros Pizza, where you can get the best slice in town. I’m not just saying that because my husband owns it. Tune in next week, where I’ll be sitting down and talking to everybody’s favorite clown, Justin Wallace!

07/11/2021 07:24 PM 

wlhyl ep. 1


Hey everyone! Thanks for tuning in on today’s episode of ‘When Life Hands You Lennons’, where we talk about anything and everything! I’m still pretty new to this, so forgive me if I’m rusty. We, meaning myself, have a lot of exciting things planned for this podcast, and I’m super, super excited to announce that today’s episode features one of my best pals, Damian Helix!

Say hi to the people, Damian.

Hi everyone, thanks for having me Len! It's an honor!

So, it’s no secret that you love all things ‘ooky and spooky, and it comes to no surprise, at least, to me, that you own a funeral home. Has that been something you always envisioned yourself doing? Or did it come up as more of a ‘spur of the moment’ kind of thing?

It was just something that made sense. I wanted to buy a new house but also wanted to start a business. Especially with the events like Escape Fest and Twisted Halloween, I made so many new connections and had so many new ideas. The funeral home just happened. There was need and I had the space. I never had a problem with death itself or corpses. I know some people think it's weird to work with or on dead bodies. They think I must be depressed or something. My wife joined the business and I just recently hired a new temp, Ders. They are naturals.

Have you had any creepy encounters while working?

-hesitates for a moment; umm, not really no. I mean, sometimes bodies twitch, especially when you burn them. It's weird but that's death for you. It sometimes feels strange when you work by yourself, just surrounded by corpses. It never feels like you're alone. But you are... I guess.

I think it’s cool, to be honest. I wouldn’t have the balls. -laughs; With the past success of Escape Fest, do you think that adds any sort of pressure to yourself to put on a great show with Twisted Halloween?

oh 1000%. The pressure is on! I think people have high expectations but I won't be as huge as Escape Fest. It will be a one day event only. Less artists. But the same amount of fun if not more! Personally this is my highlight of the year, even if only 10 people attend. I love Halloween more than anything - with the exception of my wife. I hope people will enjoy it. We are decorating the funeral home and the house so people will have access to both that day. And who knows, we might have some creepy encounters..

Honestly, it's Halloween 24/7 in this house, so I get what you mean! -laughs; Even though the event itself is far away, have you gotten any of the planning done? Or are you going with the flow, doing it little by little?

I got most of the planning done, I'm quite good at managing my time. Now that the wedding and most of the big events like baby showers are done, I will definitely be able to invest more time into. But yes. I'm not a last minute person at all. You can ask the wife. I think at the beginning she had a hard time adjusting to me doing everything on the spot. The only thing that's left to sort out are little things like the horror quiz but I got a helping hand for that one.

For those that don’t know, or may not have seen, the wife you keep referring to is Miri. You guys recently eloped in Santorini, which I think is awesome! Did you plan that ahead too? Or was that a spur of the moment kind of thing?

Both. We were talking about it for a while. And after the previous anniversary celebration it just felt right. People are so supportive of us too and we always called each other husband and wife anyway. It was kinda already there... It was just missing the ring and a signature. It was nice to getaway just to focus on us. We tend to do it at least once a month. Especially with our busy schedules, it's super important to make time for your special one. We haven't had time to plan a proper party but it will happen. It will most likely happen at our house some time next month. I think we would like to enjoy a little honeymoon first.

Well, I’ll be the first to say that I’m so happy for the both of you, and I can’t wait to celebrate once I pop this damn kid out. -laughs; Do you have any plans for the future? Aside from Twisted Halloween, anything else planned?

Thanks so much. We appreciate the love and support! And it is definitely time for you to get that bean out. I'd call that overdue! -smirks and nervously rubs nose; Just not right now, not here. I think events wise this will be it. Otherwise I don't get to focus on my business and my family. I'd love to have more time for Miri and I. I mean we spend almost every day together and travel a lot but it's rare that we actually get US time if that makes sense. There is always something going on. I think we just need some downtime to focus on what the next steps for the two of us are. I think the baby fever is real but we both agreed that it can wait a little bit.

I make no promises -laughs; Kidding. But - It definitely makes sense. Sometimes you really need just time for you and your partner without worrying about business or friends and stuff. Okay for this next part, we're gonna do a speed round of THIS OR THAT. You ready?

Born ready, let's mothertootin toot it.

Freddy or Jason?

Starting with a tough one! DAMN! - Jason

Good choice! Okay - the Halloween movies series, or the House of a 1000 Corpses trilogy?

Halloween over everything.

Staying home or traveling?

As exhausting as it can be, I love travelling. Alone, with friends or the wife, it's always super exciting. We always come back with some crazy ass stories. I miss touring with you guys. January and February were a blast. Maybe next year.

Ugh. I miss touring too. We definitely have to do that again! Okay - pizza or tacos?

Love tacos, BUT pizza all the way!

Last one! Would you rather have the ability to fly, or be able to read minds?

Reading minds would be beneficial but could also be a horrible ability to have. I think sometimes we don't want to hear what people really think. But I'd still prefer it over flying.

Honestly, I would want to read minds too. Then I’d know who to stay away from -laughs; Thank you again for coming on the podcast and for letting me pick your brain a little bit! Be on the lookout for Damian’s upcoming event Twisted Halloween this October, and until then, support this man’s funeral home by giving him all the dead bodies you’re trying to get rid of.

We take any bodies really. -coughs; thank you for having me. I had a blast. Tell your husband I said hi and let's do dinner sometime soon!

Since we’re on the topic of Halloween, what’s everyone’s favorite way to celebrate? Tell me in the comments! Personally, Halloween is my favorite holiday as well. I celebrate in numerous ways, but as I've gotten older and had kids of my own, my favorite tradition is definitely going trick or treating. I love seeing Lilah's face light up when someone tosses a candy bar into her bag, but I love it even more when she’s asleep and I can pig out on all of her Reece’s -laughs; Does that make me a bad parent?



That’s all the time we have for today’s episode, but please be sure to check out this week’s playlist (listed above), and take a look at our sponsors, the Yeah, No I’m Not Okay podcast, and Zucc Bros Pizza, where you can get the best slice in town. I'm not just saying that because my husband owns it. Next week we’ll be talking about every girl’s favorite thing: FASHION. Thanks for tuning in and we’ll see ya next time!



07/06/2021 07:37 PM 

lennon x stone | cs

*credit to this idea goes to Wlad - v inspired by his character studies he's been doing recently, and wanted to give it a go for my own. 

//

set in: 2018

“I hate her,” Lennon says, though she didn’t need words to explain that to Stone. Her body language said it all - arms crossed over her chest, brows furrowed to the center of her forehead. Her vision locked on her the silhouette of her sister-in-law, her baby tucked on the woman’s hip. If she hadn’t trusted Stone’s judgement, there would be no way Kirby would be holding Lilah. “It makes me uncomfortable that she’s here.”

“Lennon, c’mon…” her husband exhales a sigh, tattooed hand reaching up to scratch at his head. She could tell he was in a weird position, but she didn’t care.

“Stone, she killed someone! I don’t want her near the baby. I don’t even want her in this house!” She said, a little too loud for Stone’s liking, her words causing him to flinch. It was a low blow, that she knew - he was just as murderous as his sister. Had just as much blood on his hands.

“Does that mean you don’t want me near the baby, either Len?? I make you uncomfortable too??” He asks, his own voice raising in retaliation.

“That’s… that’s not what I meant..”

Another sigh exhales from the male’s lips, as he shakes his head and steps away from his wife. “Save it. Kirby has every right to see Lilah, just like I have every right to tell you to f*** off.” Stone was protective over Kirby, that she knew. But for once, Lennon wished he understood her feelings, rather than dismissing them.

It hadn’t been the first time they had fought over his sister, nor had it been the first time he’d tell her to f*** off, either. To some, they had a 'fairytale' life - a loving marriage, a beautiful baby, a cute dog. But deep down, their fairytale was sh*t. They always knew exactly what to say to get the other one going. Knew what buttons to push to get on each other's nerves. As much as they loved each other, they hated each other all the same.

Lennon knew she should have bit her tongue, but the words spewed out before she could stop them. “Why don’t you go shove another needle in your arm and f*** off, huh?” It was low of her to take a jab at his addiction, one she shared with him. But if he was going to be a d*ck, so was she.

And though his untimely death years later wasn’t her fault, she always felt an ounce of blame - wishing she could take back those words every single day since the moment he had passed.

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