02/15/2023 10:04 PM  ＴＨＥ ＢＥＡＳＴ － 野獣 TW: Language, graphic violence, blood & gore, horror themes The night was nearing its end, as three o’clock in the morning lit up across the neon-green screen of his Nissan’s clock. Ryusei rubbed his temple, barely cracking the window as he pulled onto the Highway, driving at a much lower speed than he normally would. This was his time to unwind. After lighting the blunt he had pre-rolled specifically for this drive back to base. He blew a cloud of smoke, letting the cracked window filter the fog out while he turned the music up. Within a couple of minutes, he finally realized how hungry he was, and the smell of late-night trashy diners was doing nothing to help his burning desire for a fresh, hot plate of greasy food. Just as he decided on the perfect place, the song was coming to an end and the sound of his cell ringing took its place. “Sh*t.” He muttered, reaching to grab it from the empty seat beside him just as the ringing came to an end. His screen lit back up to reveal 2 missed called from Kentaro. Just as he was about to call him back, a third incoming call from Kentaro appeared on screen. This time Ryu accepted it, hesitantly bringing the phone up to his ear to answer. “Hey..Kentaro?” Ryusei felt himself slowing down even more, feeling the need to pull over, but he ultimately decided against it. He hoped to hear Kentaro’s normal, upbeat, rather annoying tone of voice. Instead, it wasn’t. “Hey, man, listen..” It was definitely out of character for the man Ryusei knew so well to sound uncertain. After all, Kentaro was one of the strongest men he knew. He was trained like a tank, but he knew how to fight. He had found in actual battle and had been brought back to life once. Now that he thought about it, Ryusei wasn’t sure if he had ever heard Kentaro sound this way. “How far away are you?” He finally asked, after a long, dreadful pause. “Well. I guess I could be there in ten. What is this about? Did something happen!?” Ryusei asked with concern laced in his words. He heard a disgruntled sigh on the other end before Kentaro answered. “It’s nothing immediate.. I, uh, don’t know how else to explain. Just get your ass back here and see for yourself.” He sounded more apologetic when he said that, rather than demanding. “Alright.” Ryusei hung up the phone and hit the gas. He rode in silence as he reached his engine’s limit, making it back a couple of minutes faster than he originally anticipated. Kentaro was seated in the kitchen area, in the back, where Ryusei entered from. It was the closest entrance to the garage. Kentaro was sipping some black coffee from a mug when Ryu walked in, not saying a word, simply standing up to pace to the other side of the kitchen and pour himself some more brew. “So. What’s the news?” Ryusei finally asked, considering a cup of coffee for himself now. “It was 3 AM on the dot when it happened." He said suddenly, turning around to face Ryusei. Kentaro was a big guy. It was rather rare for a Japanese man to be as tall and buff as Kentaro was; earning him several looks of concern whenever he was out in public. He was intimidating in every way.. until you got to know him. "All of the sudden the screens started acting up. All of them. I’m talking the computers, TV’s, every screen in this building went black, and then..” He paused for a moment while Ryusei made time to pour himself some coffee and light a cigarette, offering Kentaro one. He didn’t hesitate when he took it, allowing Ryu to light it with a flick of his thumb. Kentaro took a deep hit, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it with a long exhale. “I recorded it as soon as it started playing.” He took his phone out, but Ryu spotted a slight tremble in his hand as he pulled the video up and adjusted the brightness on his phone to maximum. “I’ve never seen anything like this..” He stated grimly before hitting play. Ryusei adjust himself as he leaned in to focus on the picture. What looked like a group of men were all standing in a line. Clearly they were yakuza, judging by their suits, style and general demeanor. Ryusei thought he even recognized a couple of them, but it was too dark to tell for sure. It almost looked like shadows were covering their faces. However, one man stood out to the side. He also wore a suit, but he was bound by what looked like handcuffs. After a moment, the men that were standing in line started to move. They surrounded the man in handcuffs and began lifting his arms up in the air. His arms were raised high before some type of large, pulley device with a hook came into view. They hooked him onto it, using his handcuffs and once he was secured, they stepped to the side all at once. Behind them, there was another large, metal machine. Ryusei couldn’t tell for sure what type of device it was, but he could see the panic begin to set in for the man bound. There was no sound to the video, but he could tell the man was begging and pleading, by the way his face was moving and his body was beginning to jerk around. Then, whatever machine it was began to activate, starting with the rope tightening. The man really began to panic then, his legs were kicking so hard that he actually managed to kick them out from under him. He grew frantic, but it was no use, seeing as how he was now suspending higher from the ground, until his feet could no longer touch. From the corner of his eye, Ryusei could see Kentaro take another long drag from his cigarette before adjusting back in his seat far enough to where he could barely see. Ryusei refocused on the recording and kept watching, although his heart was now pounding a little faster than before. The man was brought up even higher, his legs kicking desperately now for some form of escape. He even seemed to be pulling at his wrists now, pain twisting throughout his face as he tried to break his wrists in order to free himself from the handcuffs that bound him. Anything to break free. Eventually, he came to such a sudden halt that he jerked forward, causing him to temporarily give up. His lack of movement didn’t last long, however, as he soon began uncontrollably jerking himself around as the much larger machine behind him slowly began to roll forward until it was directly below him. It almost seemed like there was a spotlight on him now--lighting both him and the machine up. As if the main part of the act was about to begin. When it finally came into a closer view, Ryusei felt his breathing suspend in his chest when he recognized what that thing was. He had only mostly seen them in movies, but he remembered seeing one when he was a child, as well. His family had used one when they were renovating the land for his mother’s garden. A wood chipper. He remembered vividly how loud they were. He also remembered all the warning signs attached to it. His mother told him to stay away as it was extremely dangerous. Ryusei knew what was about to happen, but he still couldn’t look away, even once it started. The man desperately tried to kick his feet away from it and even kick the open, metal mouth as he was slowly lowered further into the opening. Suddenly his body seized up in pain, and Ryusei swore he could feel some sense of pain in his own lower legs, by just looking at this gruesome scene. Blood was visibly shooting up from the opening. The kicking had obviously stopped, but he was definitely screaming, his head shaking from side to side as tears streamed down a face of hopeless desperation. They were torturing this man to death. The machine froze there, before lifting him back up just enough to show the audience what had happened. His body limp now, his legs completely mangled, bone and all, up to the knees. Yet, he will still alive, probably wishing otherwise. “What the f***..” Ryusei looked back momentarily to see Kentaro shaking his head, his arms folded over his chest and jaw clenched as he looked back at the screen. Ryusei looked back to the screen to see the man shaking his head no, weakly, as he was slowly lowered back into the chipper. The man even began to cry for a brief second before his body was shaking violently in pain, yet again. More blood. This time more than just blood. Bits and pieces shot up into the air. The men in suits looked on, emotionless, as they watched one man reduce to a million messy pieces. It was definitely hard to watch at this point. Ryusei knew he had done some pretty horrible things in his life, but he didn’t think he could ever do something like this, no matter what kind of price he was offered. This was plain morbid. When it reached the man’s torso, Ryusei flinched when he saw blood begin to run down his eyes and mouth. He was now undeniably dead, but that didn’t stop the macabre play from finishing its act. Ryusei now sat back, his gaze unfocused on the screen as the machine took in the rest of his lifeless body and spit out what could only be referred to as the remains. Just when he hoped it would end, the screen went black again and he released an exhale. Only then, a few seconds seconds later, some words slowly manifested on the screen. They read: The beast is hungry for more. Who will be next to feed it? You can run and hide, but he will find you…to be continued. Then, the video finally ended. Ryusei took a long swig from his coffee and proceeded to light another smoke while he struggled to process what he had just seen. “It has to be Makota. He’s sick enough to do it.” Ryu crossed his legs and sat back, studying his coffee, acting like he wasn’t rattled by that entire threat. Kentaro rubbed the hair on his face, in thought. “You think? Or do you think it could have been..” “Katsunaga? Pft, nah, he wouldn’t go to such lengths..” Ryusei immediately shut that idea down, but after he thought about it for another moment, he wondered if it might actually be true. Katsunaga had fallen into a deep madness as of recently. He had nothing to lose and a man with nothing to lose was the most dangerous kind. Silence briefly filled the room before Ryusei finally shifted and stood up tall. “Find out if there’s any trace, enhance the video and get everyone to study the recording and see if they recognize anything about the area.” Kentaro nodded, immediately getting up to go to work. “..and let me know the moment anything like this happens, again.” Kentaro agreed and left the room quickly. Instead, Ryu stood there for a moment, staring up at the blank screen of their small, kitchen television. How did they cut into our screens like that? He also wondered what they meant at the end of the video. Who were they coming for? Was it him? Ryusei had a sinking feeling that it was. He couldn’t stand to live with threats like this looming over his head. They needed to find whoever sent this and destroy them before they could even have a chance at continuing whatever sick game this was. 0 Comments

05/20/2022 10:01 PM  May Mental Health Month questions Q1. How do you spend quality time with your loved ones? Right now, Ryusei doesn’t really have many loved ones left. He’s single, and the only parent he has left, is his worst enemy. His sister hardly has time on her busy schedule, which is even busier than his. He does visit his grandfather and his aunt, as often as possible. With them, he usually just meets them at their place for dinner/lunch, or takes them out to eat, somewhere, and catches up. He’s also been conditioned to think that bringing gifts is a must. After many years of watching someone’s reaction to receiving a gift or money, he thinks that this proves someone’s love for another. Therefore, he takes note to whatever that person’s interests and hobbies are, and always brings a gift when seeing someone he cares about, unconditionally.  If he had someone he was able to spend quality time with quite often, he would prefer to do activities with them, rather than just ‘hang-out’. If staying in, he’d prefer to play a game or watch a good movie. If going out, he’s up for pretty much anything. He’d especially enjoy taking his loved ones on a trip to somewhere they’ve never been before. Although he travels a lot, he never makes time for touring, which is always more satisfying when sharing that experience with someone else. Q2. What are your favorite self-care activities? Why? Depending on his emotions and how much he needs a release, Ryusei’s ‘self-care’ activities vary. Usually, building up his adrenaline and heart-rate is a good way for him to release pent-up stress. Before he had a car, he would usually do this by running, working out, fighting or boxing. Now that he’s involved in underground street racing, this is his most preferred way, at the moment. However, he also does other activities to relieve stress; such as masterbating, taking a boiling-hot shower, playing a game, or eating something delicious and tasty.  When things become too much for him, and he feels like none of these activities will help him, that’s when he retreats to his private land in Mexico, where he owns a large plot of land in between the gulf and the Laguna Flamingos, roughly 45 miles from Cancún, in northern Tizimín. He originally planned on building cabanas there to rent out to vacationers for a large profit, but since the land is so far from any town or village, he grew to enjoy the silence— aside from the sound of the ocean and wildlife. There, he brings a few necessities, but enjoys fishing and living of the natural land, far away from his ‘normal’ life and duties. Q3. What‘s your favorite ambient noise/setting? Mainly complete darkness and silence, but other sounds are soothing to him, as well. Such as natural wildlife, like the chirping of crickets, or the sound of running water or the ocean. Of course, the sound of a cracking fire is soothing to him, even in destructive settings.  As for setting, Ryu often visits the bathhouse (in which he designed, based on memory, after the one that was in his uncle’s garden), right before bed, usually just as the sun is coming up.  Q4. What do you love about your life? Ryusei truly loves the freedom that he feels is a part of his everyday life. Despite him being in a place where he cannot choose to turn back, or follow a new path, there is something blissful about being above the law. Never following the rules that are set in place for normal society, but instead following a whole different set, and eventually being the one to set his own rules. He loves the fact that he can still make money and do what he loves, which is usually racing. He loves the fact that he has a solid following of trustworthy men, who are eager to follow orders and do what needs to be done in order for their clan to thrive. He especially loves being able to get out and even leave the country quite often. He isn’t one for staying in one spot for too long. Traveling, seeing different cultures and witnessing new ways of life has always been refreshing for him. Q5. What does self-love mean to you? For Ryusei, self-love was something that seemed impossible throughout most of his life. After being made to feel worthless for so long, it was difficult to recognize his redeeming qualities, even when he was reminded of them. He even began to embrace the negative things that were said to and about him. He felt worthless, therefore had no motivation to change the dark path he was heading down. Especially after his uncle died; the only man who ever praised him for who he was. There was a hole left within him, that he tried to fill by joining Katsunaga, who only praised him for his abilities.  It’s taken Ryusei years to finally learn what self-love actually means. It’s accepting who you are, the good and the bad, and vowing to work on yourself, everyday. It’s confidence, and challenging yourself to make things better. If Ryusei hadn’t learned self-love, he would still be doing Katsunaga’s bidding, instead of building his own clan. Self-love is also taking responsibility for one’s own mistakes, and learning from them, rather than pointing a finger at whoever possible. It’s being indifferent to the opinion of strangers, never dwelling on the negative, and never comparing yourself to anyone else. 0 Comments

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03/29/2022 10:07 PM  A Fading Memory— A Fading Memory—   (Ryusei chooses to forget this moment due to the intense guilt associated with it. He forces it from his mind the moment it enters, and will do anything to keep it shut out. Though, he’s afraid it will always remain a fading memory, never truly lost forever. Always lingering within the depths of his mind.) School had just let out. It was officially the weekend. While most of the students exited the building with a wide grin on their faces, their eyes filled with excitement for whatever the weekend held in store for them, Ryusei’s expression was quite the opposite. He had just celebrated his fifteenth birthday a few days prior, and while his mother attempted to make it special for him, his father had to ruin it, expectedly, as soon as the attention was drawn from him. Ryusei learned never to expect anything good, especially on his birthday, for this reason. Now that his Uncle was gone, he had no where to hide on the weekends. No where but the darkness of his room. He walked slowly, on the path that lead in the opposite direction from home. He would walk through the city, first, as the sun set with his headset on, a CD player held tightly at his side as he watched his feet pace in front of him, his lips lightly mouthing the words to the song. Usually no one paid any attention to him this way. Even though he was surrounded by people, he felt alone with his music, which is the way he liked it. Probably just some stuck-up rich boy, in their eyes, but he didn’t care what anyone labeled him as. He would gladly trade places with any one of them. Soon, however, the sun began to descend upon the distant horizon, and his pacing soon brought him upon an all too familiar path. His mood began to sour, very quickly. He was about five minutes from his home estate and the music seemed to fade into the background, even though the volume was nearly to the max. He could still feel and hear his heart pounding in his chest as his gaze finally rose to fall upon the gate that separated him from his home. Every time he looked at it, he thought about running away, or killing himself. Both seemed like better options, sometimes, than facing what lie beyond this gate. The images of his mother and sister passing through his thoughts, were the only thing that spurred him to step forth and type in the code. Although, he feared that one day, that even they might not even be enough. Today was not one of those days. He wanted to see his mother, and little Emiko was always happy to see him. The way her little face lit up whenever he walked in the door always warmed his heart. His mother also seemed comforted by his presence. She often confided in her son, when it was just the two of them. She would also sneak in some insulting remarks about his father, which he found quite amusing. Plus, his stomach was beginning to rumble. The gate slowly creaked open. The sound of the metal scraping together almost made him feel like someone was taking a knife, digging it into his gut and twisting it. The sight of it open, welcoming him, made him nauseous. Still, he stepped forth anyway. Yanking his headset from his ears, he now faced reality in its completeness. Everything was silent. He hoped that his father was still somehow at his office, but he doubted that. Never expect anything good.. He was feeling slightly uneasier than usual, even. When the door opened, it was still silent. Usually food was cooking by now, which was his first sign that something had happened. Cooking was his mother’s hobby, she never let anyone else in her kitchen, as she called it. Ryusei kicked off his shoes and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible, hoping not to alert anyone of his entrance. One of the maids happened to be passing by. She glanced up at him for a brief moment, the look on her face was almost sorrowful, but she glanced back to her feet, suddenly, a curt nod as to acknowledge him before turning away and appearing to busy herself with something tedious. With a frown, Ryusei set his headset down on a countertop before quietly heading up the stairs. Emiko’s room came first, so he figured he’d pop in there to check on her. Peering inside, his eyes fell upon his younger sister’s form. She was faced away from him, seated in the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them as she stared up at the television, watching her favorite series, Sailor Moon, once again. The light of the little television the only thing to light her room as the sun had now fully faded. “Emi-chan..” he spoke softly before stepping inside. Emiko turned as soon as she heard her brother’s voice and ran to wrap her arms around his legs. “Are you alright? Did something happen?” He asked as he knelt to a knee, her skinny arms remaining outstretched as her hands now placed upon his shoulders. Her golden eyes mirrored his, yet Ryusei saw so much of his uncle in her face. Would Emiko ever know the truth? It wasn’t his place to tell her. He gulped, forcing those thoughts away as he focused on the truth. Emiko looked down and shook her head. He could see the tears welling in her eyes. She was always so soft-hearted. A sweet peach that bruised easily. She couldn’t help the way she was. “I-I don’t know, for sure..” she sniffled, wiping her nose before looking up at him again. “I heard father yelling and mom, too. Then I heard some other noises, and mom was..crying. I-I really wanted to help, but I was scared. I hate myself, Ryu. I do. I’m nothing but a coward.” She cried harder, her face scrunching up, forming creases upon her little, nine-year-old face. In what world should a nine-year-old girl feel responsible for protecting her mother from her father? “It’s not your fault.” He spoke sternly, placing his hands upon her shoulders, this time, shaking her until she faced him again. “You hear me? It’s not your fault. His actions are his choice. There’s nothing we can do to change that. You did the right thing, staying away. It wouldn’t have changed what he did, and..” ..and it could have been you, too, that he finally decides to take his frustration out, on..he thought, but couldn’t bring himself to say. “You did good, Emiko.” He said instead, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she wiped her tears away with her sleeve. “Stay here, I’ll go check on her.” With a nod, he stood back to his feet and Emiko watched with a saddened expression as he left. Almost as if she feared the same thing was about to happen, except to him. How long could she stand to the side and watch before it became too much to bear? How long until the same started happening to her? Ryusei thought about that as he continued up to the upper floors. His father might have been abusive, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that Ryu and Mika were offering up themselves, so that Emiko would never have to experience the same thing that they have. Perhaps Takashi knew that if he were to start with Emiko, either his wife or son would end up killing him in his sleep, which Ryu actually thought about doing, several times. Emiko had always been the line, that was never to be crossed, and they all silently knew that. As he crept up the stairway, he peered into his own room. Dark and silent, just as he left it. When he looked up towards the final floors, his jaw clenched as he took a step, the floorboards creaking beneath his added weight. “Ryu..?” He heard his mothers voice, as soft as a summer’s breeze; the sound of his name urged him to hurry up the rest of the stairs. “No, don’t come..” she quickly added, her voice sounded broken, which wasn’t abnormal for her. Her life had always been a tragedy, never had she known true peace. When he made it, he glanced around the room before he saw a gentle light fleeing from the bathroom. Thankfully, there were no signs of his father, but Ryusei could still feel his lingering presence in this room. Something had happened, and if he hadn’t have taken the long way home, he probably would have made it in time stop it from happening to her. He would have been able to throw himself in front of her. He could have prevented.. this. When he stepped towards the bathroom, his mother was on the floor, leaned up against the wall. Her face was downcast, shielded by a mess of long, dark, hair, cascading down the sides of her face. She was utterly defeated, a mere shell of the woman she was meant to be. “I’m sorry.. sorry that I don’t have your dinner ready. Your father went to get something for himself. I just.. don’t have it in me.” Her words were slurred and it took a while for her to get them out. He fell to his knees to level himself with her before reaching out to move her hair from her face. “..no..” she was weak as she lifted a hand to push his away. Ryusei could see fresh bandages, wrapped around her wrist when her sleeve fell. She quickly pulled it up, and folded her arms defensively around her chest. “I’ll be fine.” She tried to sound as cheerful as she possibly could, but it only made him worry more. “I’m not leaving.” He stated, sternly. He could see a lump in her robe pocket, he swiftly reached inside and pulled out a pill bottle. Checking the label, she wasn’t due for another refill of pain medication until the end of next week, and there were only two pills left. “How many did you take?” He asked. “Don’t worry.” She said again with more urgency, “I’ll be fine.” Bruises could be seen on every part of flesh she had exposed, which wasn’t much at all. She always wore clothes that covered her entire body, even in the summertime when it was hot. It took so long for him to realize why she did that. “And when you run out? Will you be fine, then?” He knew with how much she must have taken, that whenever the medicine faded, she would likely start withdrawing. Withdrawal, in a place like this, wasn’t ideal, at all. His mother didn’t respond to his question, either. Of course she didn’t think about that, she was only trying to think of ways she could get rid of the pain in that very moment. “Look. I can get you more, somehow, you just have to promise me that you won’t do this, again, it’s too much, your body can’t handle it.” He begged, reaching out for her hand, he took it. She was clammy, but she finally looked up at him, this time, hope in her sunken eyes. Ryusei wished he hadn’t looked at her face, but he couldn’t help it. Her eyes were nearly bloodshot, as if she hadn’t slept in days, one of them was darker than the other, swollen as if she had been hit in the face. A scrape across her cheek, with dried blood underneath it. This attack was fresh. How could he blame her for taking a bunch of pills when he was starting himself on the same path? His own stash was buried in the private garden, out back, where no one would ever find it. “You would do that?” She gripped his hand in return, the drugs seemed to be kicking into her system, seeing as she forgot about her desire to hide the wreckage from him. Ryusei nodded slowly, feigning a smile and pretending to ignore the fact that he was raging inside, at the sight of her— at the sight of what his father had done. “Don’t worry. I’ll go get them, tonight. I’ll hide them in my closet, in the inside pocket of my favorite jacket. Can you remember that?” He asked as she nodded eagerly. “Thank you, Ryu. You are my sun.” He always smiled when she called him that, even though it was hard, now. She kissed his forehead, a notion that never failed to comfort him, either. “Would you like to lay down with some television?” He quickly added. She nodded and was already trying to pull herself off the cool, bathroom-tile floor. “Shh, sh..” he hushed, gently wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and the other underneath her legs, not giving her any time to protest before he lifted her up and carried her to her bedside. Her weight worried him even more. She was nearly the same weight as Emiko, a nine-year-old girl. While she had always been on the thinner side, this wasn’t normal for a woman of her age, who had two natural born children. Uncle’s passing had also taken a toll on her, which wasn’t good given her already weakened state. His jaw clenched again as he slowly laid her on the top of her bed, propping two extra pillows behind her head. It was hard to look at her like this. She reached for the remote to switch on the television, but Ryusei grabbed it before she could. “Listen.. it won’t be like this, forever.” He reached over and took her cold, frail, bony hand within his own, enveloping it within his warmth. “I’ll find a way. Just give me three years to find a way, by then I’ll be eighteen and I’ll get you out of this. I promise. You and Emiko. Just give me time to figure something out.” He whispered as softly as he could, watching a soft smile form across her drowsy features. He hoped even in her state, she could fully understand what he was saying. However, the sound of heavy footsteps creaking up the stairs caused both of their expressions to falter. Ryusei quickly switched on the television and turned the volume up a bit. “Don’t worry about dinner.” He quickly added. “I’ll get something for us and Emiko while I’m out.” With that, he stood and began to head out onto the balcony. He took one last look at his mother, who appeared to be sleeping, but she was probably just faking it for the sake of avoiding confrontation. A heavy sigh emitted from his lips before the sound of footsteps reaching their destination caused him to look away. Climbing over the railing, he slid down the roof before jumping off and grabbing onto the branch of the tallest cherry tree in their garden, swinging himself down and onto the balcony below. He landed on his feet, in a crouched position, as gracefully as he could, but it still knocked the wind from him. He quickly sucked in another breath and ran inside his room from the back. Hopefully he could slip back out of the house, unnoticed. The new promise he had just made to his mother gave himself hope. It wasn’t just a promise to her, it was to Emiko, to himself. To see his mother happy one day, and healthy— able to laugh, again. A place where she no longer had to live in fear.   If only she could have held on, just a little while longer... 0 Comments

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