Gender: Female
Age: 29
Signup Date:
August 13, 2020
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01/16/2021 07:04 PM
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past to present character study.
 a. b. c. d. as if reciting the alphabet in your head to help you calm down is all you have (oh god - it is all you have.) or at least you feel like that. you do the bare necessities to take care of yourself. a shower so you don't smell. at least every other day. some kind of food. sometimes you make cinnamon buns in the morning and that just is oddly... cathartic. it's really the most you do.
verse 1: main verse. your name is mary-sue smith and you're nothing special. you're just a kid that watched your sister get kidnapped. now your sad and you don't know how to stop feeling sad. how to stop feeling guilty.
A.B.C.D.E. you found that a cold, painful razorblade makes you feel alive. so you get addicted to it. you're defensive, you're angry. God, you can't keep friends. you're holding onto a thin string of a relationship with your mother. your best friend. your confidant.
and you can't even keep that.
 verse 2: charlie's angels. your name is mary-sue smith and your sister was never kidnapped. your family never suffered that rift and in this timeline - that shows. yet, you're still sad. you're still angry. all your friends are toxic. God, you're so self-sabotaging. you don't need to steal anything. you do it anyway. A.B.C.D.E.F.G. all of that landed you in jail.
 a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i i want you to get help, please. i care abot you. you're in the kitchen, you're making cinnamon buns. you're doing it my scratch. it's your mother that asks you, in this soft and pleading voice. the sleeves of your shirt are clinging to your skin. you can feel the fabric chafe against a fresh cut.
maybe she knows.
verse 1: main verse. your name is mary-sue smith and you're something special to your parents, at least. you find help. you change everything. you find a job in a bakery. you promise your lost sister that you'll do anything to help - even if that means helping other people. you change to rubberbands on your wrists. you start to get tattoos. the color of your hair changes.YOU LOOK HEALTHY. you look like you take care of yourself (because you are) and you realize it's okay to not be okay.
 verse 2: charlie's angels. your name is mary-sue smith but you change it to sabina wilson. you're tired of your past. you probably looked so pathetic sitting there in jail, addicted to crime and self-sabotage like you never wanted to live. yet, bosley merely says "Charlie and I can help you reroute your crime into talent." and, damn, you looked so confused. yet, they did it.
and you found people who weren't toxic. you stole things for a better cause. your anger could be well placed. you can do it. you can live. you can want to live.
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01/12/2021 12:08 PM
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STAR MAPS (rs).
  I'LL DIE FOR IT.( relationship song - star maps )
You're my best friend ( I love you so much ).
I know a million doors. I know a million path ways.
This timeline is ours.
I THINK WE DESERVE IT ( DON'T YOU THINK SO TOO ? )
We don't have to take the other paths.
You don't have to take the other paths. God, I promise.
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01/12/2021 12:06 PM
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GUARD.
She really doesn't have to. END OF STORY. Yet, Sabina does. It's an impulse. Not because she thinks Elena can't protect herself ( actually, Sabina gets quite a kick out of Elena suddenly acquiring Accidental Angry Top Mode ) but because it's more of a habit. Sabina Wilson is impulsive. VERY MUCH SO. She'll never stop to think about protecting a loved one. Someone she utterly cares about. She'll just do it.
Explanations aside, the moment goes like this:
Sabina Wilson is watching one large ( and, gross, hairy ) fist come barreling at her gorgeous face ( okay, so, she's really dirty right now ). Elena's somewhere across the room hacking her way into the mainframe to shut down another corporate sized mercenary group prying on innocent lives. Things never go quite as quietly as they're supposed to. Sabina's head veers at the last second, that hairy fist smashes straight into the floor. The ugly grey patterned carpet certainly wouldn't soften that blow. At least one knuckle cracks, it sounds like a couple and that gives Sabina just enough leverage to maneuver her way out of his grasp. He stumbles to his feet, leans forward to grab for her. His mistake, really.
Sabina moves out of the way and he just goes flying through a glass door. The elevator down the hall dings. Oh, that certainly catches her attention. In fact, it catches her attention enough that she misses hairy fisted guy getting back up. MUCH ANGRIER THAN BEFORE.
This time he ignores the distraction ( Sabina ) and goes for the main proprieter of 'I'm gonna f*** up your plans' ( Elena ). He charges forward. Sloppily, at least. It was Elena's gasp that switched Sabina's attention from their new visitor to their old. Sabina just propels herself forward. Throws her body between Angry Hairy Mercenary and Best Friend. He collides into her with enough force to knock the breath straight out of her. Sabina's interjection has him going off course.
PLAN ACHIEVED: JUST REALLY BAD.
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01/12/2021 12:04 PM
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RUN.
 THE END OF THE WORLD COMES FREQUENTLY.Sometimes there isn't a time the end of the world isn't here. Mary-Sue's fingers push through her blonde hair. Her hands are shaking. There's dirt caked in her fingernails. The scar on her nose is never going to heal. She always runs into something. Something always runs into her. Her nose always gets split open. It's always her nose. ALWAYS.
The end of the world is always here for some. People's minds are an ugly void of apocalyptic torture. Of dystopian nightmares. She's swore. There's a limp to Mary-Sue's step. There's nothing really wrong with her leg. She's just sore. She's just exhausted. The end of the world is here. For some. For all. Timelines are messy. Timelines don't make sense. Mary-Sue's green eyes look upward.
She mouths the word "run" as if it's going to be heeded. The buildings shake beside her. Some are already collapsed. Somebody can't stop crying. Absolutely sobbing. The mutant lurches forward, even with aching body to move into a run. The street rumbles, as if it's shaking from her, as if it can't understand why HER world isn't ending. She gets to the end of the street - then it all just disappears.
You see - seeing timelines is like seeing visions.
GOD, THEY'RE FRIGHTENING. (GOD ISN'T HERE).
Mary-Sue reaches her hand out, touches Carol's arm. Almost mouths run again, instead she just clears her throat.
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01/12/2021 03:33 PM
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THROUGH THE CELLAR DOOR.
  IT'S A VICTORY DANCE. ARE YOU COMING WITH US?( relationship song - through the cellar door . )
I'll come running for you at any time.
( I think you know that. )
Yeah, you're one of us. You're the best of us.
You help me smile when I didn't think I could.
And I just... love you.
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01/12/2021 03:01 PM
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LEAN ON.
  BLOW A KISS. FIRE A GUN. ALL WE NEED IS SOMEBODY TO LEAN ON.( relationship song - lean on . )
You never have to tell me you care.
( I already know. )
I just want the world to know that it has to look out --
You and I? We're partners. Thick, thin, all of that.
It's going to take a whole goddamn army.
I'll be your friend and your sidekick until my last breath.
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09/27/2020 02:11 PM
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perfect.
HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED UP THE DEFINITION OF PERFECT IN THE DICTIONARY? it says: having all the required or desired elements or absolute; complete. what nobody ever tells you is that perfect can vary from person to person, to environment, to worlds, perfect is only a mere concept that can be shifted to whatever the user most desires PERFECT for THEMSELVES. mental health has always been such an issue tiptoed around, like it's glass and it'll shatter but it's not glass, it'll never be glass, it's only collecting dust that way until it becomes completely NOTHING.
mary-sue, herself, is out there holding out her hands for anyone that needs them. she'll talk about recovery, she'll pull people out of gutters, dust them off and tell them they'll be okay. she'll use her powers to bring hope, to not only change a moment, but change someone's future but she can't, for the life of her, just in this moment continue to look kara directly into those mesmerizing blue eyes and act like she isn't having a hard time with the idea of perfect.
SHE FORGOT THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION and is only leaning on the shaky socialized version: that perfect isn't meant to be shaped for each user. instead her brain is only chanting 'i'm not perfect, i'm not perfect,' relying on the fact she's a pure mess, that sometimes she doesn't care to wake up in the morning, that even a hero like her just can't live. instead, she looks down at her phone, pushes the home button. she's not actually planning on doing anything, she's just looking away from kara. using a distraction to quell the rising lump in her throat, the chill along her spine like this was too good to be true.
But, you know what's the picture of both her lockscreen and home screen on her phone? It's Kara. The lockscreen a selfie of them, the home screen a picture someone took of Supergirl. SHE JUST LOOKS LIKE A FAN, nobody can seem to put two and two together that the woman laughing with mary-sue on the lockscreen is also the woman on her homescreen.
PERFECT IS ONLY A CONCEPT.
"So, you'll take everything then? Even the moments where I just can't do it? My whole entire messy ass?" She knows the answer before Mary-Sue even looks up.
All the desired pieces of the puzzles have come together and it's perfect.
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09/12/2020 06:02 PM
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tears.
all's fair in love & war.  People rush by. Mary-Sue really doesn't pay much attention, green eyes staring ahead. Staring without seeing. A type of dissociation that comes with guilt. Even Mary-Sue will admit that she's never particularly been strong. She's just been a survivor. Maybe if she was stronger she wouldn't have fallen to the throes of addiction, maybe she wouldn't even be having these moments. Where she sits here, contemplates how she could have saved someone. Watches the world in this timeline. Takes a deep breath in. The world flickers, ear drums ringing, watches in another timeline. They're alive in that timeline. Maybe she could pull them through --
No. Each timeline is only meant for one of each person. Swapping timelines is detrimental. She knows that. Yet, she sits here, unmoving, still as every body rushes by. Eyes watery. Because she knows. Everyone that thinks they're nothing, that thinks they aren't important, that feels useless -- doesn't deserve that. They deserve a chance to live. Not just survive, not just trying to make it to another day. But to live. She's fine with nobody particularly paying attention to her right now. It's not about her, it's about the life lost in a senseless gunfight that she couldn't stop. They don't know she's the vigilante that tries to stop all this --
Mary-Sue is exactly just that awkward chick that works at a bakery. Making mediocre cookies and cinnamon buns and helping mediocre middle aged guys with their coffe like they don't know how to make it. Mary-Sue blinks. A tear makes it's way down her cheek. She still just sits on the bench around the corner from the shoot-out. It's just that the tear didn't particularly make it too far. She really wasn't expecting anyone to pay attention to her, so pardon the jerk back. Where her body leans backward, nostrils flaring, coming back to herself and society, head turning to find the culprit.
Oh. Okay. Not culprit. Absolutely not culprit. Give her a couple more seconds, she just stares at Kara. Finally Mary-Sue raises a hand to slide across Kara's palm. Hold Kara's hand in place. "I couldn't save him."
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09/02/2020 12:03 PM
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star maps ,
don't i look so nice?. 
HAVE YOU SEEN THE LOOK ON MY FACE? THE LOOK IN MY EYES? DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. I'LL DIE FOR IT. I WANNA BURN THIS HOUSE TO THE GROUND AFTER PLAYING WITH FIRE. I WANNA BURN THIS MAP OF THE STARS.
NOW I'M FIRE.
it's right there. nobody else can see it. but it's right there. it all changes so quick. she's just leaning against the counter, one arm crossed over her stomach, the elbow of the other resting on it, fingers touching her chin. the bakery is slow right now. a customer just walked out and she's waiting for another to enter, watched them walk by the window. then the room flickers. black and white, the sound of static. the poster of the bakery on the wall flickers in and out of this timeline, jumps without moving. mary-sue leans forward, nose twitching. she doesn't really get to see what the other timeline's poster is when the door opens. the electronic bell echoes annoyingly in the small bakery. it's isabel.
mary-sue's hands drop. eyes squint so hard that wrinkles appear between her eyes. isabel is smiling at her (though that's quickly fading because mary-sue definitely looks like she's in another world) but isabel is black and white. a product of another timeline. maybe she's trying to figure out how that could happen. how two timelines can interact without her help. mary-sue walks around the corner. nothing of what mary-sue is doing is what she usually does. she doesn't lightly flirt with isabel, doesn't ask isabel how her day is, doesn't compliment isabel.
normally she's busy contemplating asking isabel out on another date -- if isabel is returning, wouldn't she have enjoyed the first one? black white. flicker. loud static. loud static so loud that mary-sue raises a hand to press to a ear like that could muffle it. and then it hits her, much like a mac truck. the four shots in isabel's chest, all bleeding. dropping onto the ground.
everything is getting louder! isabel is supposed to be dead. she's not. she's alive, she's looking at mary-sue and everything is getting louder. only isabel flickering black and white. EVERYTHING IS GETTING LOUDER. sounds like a piercing screech. mary-sue just moves towards isabel. presses a hand against isabel's chest like that'll stifle the bleeding. EVERYTHING IS GETTING LOUDER, still black and white. this is new. she doesn't know what to do. she needs to pull isabel back - she needs to pull isabel back -- she just hugs isabel.
wraps her arms around isabel's waist. and then the static disappears. well, she's never going to be able to explain that manic mood, but while she's getting over isabel dumping her, she'll figure out what happened. ( with special guest appearances by isabel. )
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KALE JONATHON KANE | SHORT-ORDER COOK. Adopted son of Aiden Kane. His family started talking about how odd he seemed when it power started showing - he's certainly one of the few children kidnapped by Kane for a future army. Best friend / like a brother to Mary-Sue and they talk frequently. Oh... and he's a werewolf. Rawr.
ISABEL JOSEPHINE HART | MERCENARY. An immortal that triggers Mary-Sue's power. In a good way. A million timelines means you can pick the one you like the most. Mary-Sue and Isabel are currently reconciling a romantic relationship to work through Isabel's immorality.
DARRELL STEVEN MCCABE | CASINO OWNER. The head of all operations within Thoth. Former FBI agent that worked alongside Kane when his parents died in a car crash and Kane tried to get all of the inheritence away from him. Mentor to both Mary-Sue and Kristen.
AIDEN JOSHUA KANE | SENATOR. A man who's only goal is to become President... and change the whole country. He did have a family. Cool motive, still tyranny. Mutant with the ability to control emotions. Much villain.