02/12/2022 01:39 PM  Chapter 5 (Coraline AU) Armitage woke up cold and alone. Even before he opened his eyes he knew what would greet him. Nothing good ever seemed to happen to him after all... There was no surprise when his green eyes took in the plain, empty room. No toys, no colourfully painted walls. It was bleak and as cold as he was currently feeling. Of course... Of course it had all merely been a dream. He occasionally had dreams about his mother, even if he had never met her. But in those dreams she was nothing more but a blurry, vague shape that he somehow knew was supposed to be his mother. It had been different in his recent dream though, he could still remember her face, how similar to his own it had been… And what a strange dream it had been. Another apartment that looked exactly like his own, separated by a tunnel. Maybe if the door was still there? What if it wasn't a dream? He could feel hope bubbling up inside of him, which he knew was stupid. It couldn't be real. Because if it was, then why was he back here again? Swiftly he sat up on his bed and shambled barefoot to the room where the door had been. His heart was beating fast in anticipation, before it dropped to his stomach when he noticed that the door was gone, in its stead was the much smaller one that he had already seen the other day. He certainly wouldn't have fit through it. It was mouse-sized. Still, he dropped to his knees in front of it, however it wouldn’t budge when he tried to open it. He leaned down and knocked on it with his finger, but of course there was no answer. Armitage rolled his eyes at his own silliness. He couldn’t help it though. He wanted it to be real so badly, it felt so real… His mother’s smile, her touch, her voice… All of it. How could his mind make up something like that? Was he truly so deprived of love? He could almost hear his father calling him pathetic. Huxs weren’t supposed to have emotions. Brendol wanted him to be a machine. As much as Armitage tried though, he couldn't get rid of his humanity or his childish need for security and affection. He stayed seated on the floor for a while, cross-legged, staring unseeingly at the tiny door. Then the realisation hit him... Where were his parents? The apartment was bathed in ultimate silence, apart from his breathing there was nothing. He shuddered, the intensity of being completely alone made it hard to breathe. Did they leave him here? Did they finally get rid of him? How could he survive on his own? He was only a child… He didn't feel free or happy, all that he felt was fear. But there was no use getting ahead of himself. They might just be out, his father did have work after all and Maratelle... Well, she could be visiting the neighbours, right? Armitage nodded to himself, feeling slightly reassured, he sniffled, feeling proud that he hadn't let any of the threatening tears spill from his eyes. If he had chanced a look behind his shoulder at this very moment, he might have spotted the two figures trapped inside the big mirror that was hanging on the wall. Brendol and Maratelle Hux, pounding against the barrier of the glass, their mouths moving in silent screams, but they failed at getting Hux's attention for their struggles to be noticed remained soundless. Armitage bounded down the stairs to the kitchen, where he ate his breakfast of cereal with cold milk still wearing his space-themed pyjamas. He slurped on the contents of the bowl slowly, without much of an appetite, while gazing out off the window. The scenery was rainy and gloomy, the huge tree outside looked like an insect, a spider with its thin skeleton legs hitting against the window as the wind moved it. Armitage always felt so small, but right now that sensation seemed intensified. He also felt awfully anxious, fidgeting on the wooden chair, his body jittery, because he didn't know what was going on. Nothing seemed familiar anymore, he didn't like this at all, he didn't want to be alone... But he couldn't comprehend why that made his chest feel both sore and hollow. That night when he lay down, the creepy doll squeezed against his chest, he couldn't remember actually falling asleep, but he must've, since he had another dream... 0 Comments

08/14/2021 10:13 PM  Shards. "Father?" The pathetic plea tumbles from his lips. He doesn't know why he says it. Is he hoping to be saved? It's a hollow, naive, childish hope. No one ever saves him. Why is he still clinging to it? He is looking for a glimmer of compassion in his father's hard eyes. But there is none of that. All he can ever find is disgusted pity and hatred. Nothing happens. So Armitage takes that as a sign. Dutifully he kneels in front of the mess he has created. He feels revulsion rise in his throat at his show of weakness. He isn't sure how much longer he can bear it. How much longer until he's all but a shadow of himself? In his fantasies he's strong, fearless. All his sorrows hidden behind a mask of steel. But now he is a child asking for acceptance, while the darkness inside of him feasts on the anger and the pain. He can hear the laughter as his father’s friend watches on in delighted amusement. Arrogant and cruel, like they all are. Suddenly before he can fulfill his task, he’s being pulled up harshly. He staggers slightly, unsteady on shaky legs. His gaze hopeful as he looks at his father’s face. But what he sees is only fury and disappointment. “You weak, snivelling…” Weak. Useless. Pathetic. He is unable to stop the tears. He doesn’t want to feel this. Why can’t he be numb? He tries to push it all away and each day the spark gets dimmer. Each day the darkness swallows his hope. He wants to be good enough. He will be good enough. One day he will show them that he isn’t useless anymore. 0 Comments

08/14/2021 10:07 PM  A gift from Sloane. Armitage didn't mind the cold. He was used to it from the cool, rainy climate of his home world. What got to him was not having a way out. Everytime he looked through a window he was greeted by the endless canvas of space. His green eyes were swallowed by the galaxy. He felt caged, reminded of the times his parents locked him in his room or the cellar. Denied an escape. He was still only a child, but he was never allowed to enjoy much freedom. It suffocated him. After fleeing Jakku they've been residing on this ship for a few cycles already. He wasn't used to being on ships. He couldn't help but to miss his home on Arkanis. His father told him that they could never go back, because the New Republic was after them. He missed the calming rain and the forests surrounding his neighbourhood. His animosity toward the Republic grew, ignited by his father's vicious retellings and further deepened by being forced to become a refugee. And though Armitage was a timid boy, he didn't know anything else but war and the scramble for power. The redhead avoided spending time in the Hux's shared quarters. His father's cruelty knew no bounds. Merely laying eyes on his bastard son seemed to set his disgust alight. Armitage was good at blending in. It was a survival instinct. Today he found a quiet spot inside a dark room. One of the walls was covered with floor to ceiling windows and the pale boy was sitting cross legged in front of it, staring at the world presented to his curious eyes. The immensity of it scared him a bit, but mostly filled him with awe. There was a sudden disturbance to his musings in the form of a quiet meow. It startled him and made him turn around abruptly. Once he did he was met with the inquisitive green eyes of a ginger furred cat. Armitage blinked at it, surprised. The colour of its fur reminded him of his own hair, which was quite rare. "She must've jumped on board on Jakku." Came a soft, female voice, there was a smile tinting it. While it spoke, the cat had made her way to Armitage, who reached out his hand and carefully touched the top of her head. He didn't know what to say in reply, adults often made him feel fearful and tense. They could do so much to bring him pain, to control him, he was at their mercy. Somewhere deep inside of him there was a fire of fury boiling at being treated in such a manner. However, it would take time until it gained a shape. The boy knew who this voice belonged to, Grand Admiral Rae Sloane. He didn't know why, but she had always been kind to him. He wasn't used to kindness. Armitage heard Sloane's steps coming closer until she crouched down beside him. He flinched slightly when she placed her hand on his thin shoulder. She retracted it, instead stroking the cat's back. "Would you like to have her, Armitage? I'm sure you could take good care of her." He looked up this time, his eyes gazing at her to gauge the sincerity of her offer. His eyes were too sharp for that of a child, too severe and perceptive. However, he could see no lies in the woman's face, she regarded him with a look of patience. "You want me to keep her?" He asked to clarify, his eyes narrowed in lingering suspicion. "Yes, she's yours." Armitage couldn't believe it. He never had a pet before nor anything that was truly his to have. His hands gently lifted the tiny ginger ball and he cradled it against his chest. "Thank you," his thanks were simple, but there was a reverence in his voice, a disbelief, that made up for it. "I'm sure you'll make an excellent team." Suddenly the galaxy didn't seem so constricting anymore. 0 Comments

06/05/2021 08:01 PM  Chapter 4 (Coraline AU) Armitage rubbed his eyes in disbelief, his vision had to be playing tricks on him or maybe he was still asleep, maybe this was merely a dream. When his gaze focused on the woman before him once more, nothing had changed, she was still there, appraising him with a steady smile. He swallowed, feeling at once the urge to run back through the tunnel and to the world he had left behind, and to run forward to wrap his thin arms around this woman that looked exactly the way he had imagined his mother's appearance to be. She was beautiful, her eyes gazed upon him kindly, with an affection that he had never seen directed at himself before. Instead of running one of the two ways, he stood rooted to the floor, actually not able to move. He was in shock, because how could this be real? If this was indeed a dream, he never wanted to wake up from it. "Are you feeling okay, Armie? I hope you aren't getting sick," her smile dropped and she appeared to be worried now. Hux wanted the smile to return to her lips, he wanted the serenity that it seemed to give him even if he didn't truly know this woman, his mother. On the other hand they should know each other more than anyone else, no one has ever been closer together than a mother and her child. And yet, he felt apprehensive to approach her. He couldn't shake the distrust built from years of abuse and pain. He shook his head in earnest. "No... no, I'm not sick. I-I'm fine, eh... mum," he blabbered out, his face heating up slightly with a flush. He gazed up at her with something akin to reverence in his jade eyes. Not able to look away from her soft face and the way her lips quirked up into another smile in reaction to his words. He felt almost giddy. "Good, I'm glad to hear that, I was worried, dear. Maybe you're just hungry, hm? Come, sit down, I prepared all of your favourites for dinner," she gestured to the kitchen table, which was indeed brimming with all sorts of different dishes. He could see pasta and pizza and burgers with fries, and ice cream and pancakes and cherry pie with whipped cream. Armitage's eyes widened and his stomach growled, reminding him of the sad fact that his parents, his father and step-mother, had sent him to bed without dinner. He was starving! "You... you've made all this just for me?" It couldn't be... No one had ever gone to such lengths just to please him. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Nervously he fidgeted with the sleeves of his pyjamas. "Of course, who else would it be for? You're my one and only precious boy." Hux's chest gave an odd squeeze at her words, but still he didn't step forward. His mother was bathed in the pale light of the moon coming from the window behind her, the night was black, but in here the golden flickers of the candles placed on the table robed the room into alternating light and shadow. Sometimes her face would burn with it, her green eyes ablaze with the light, but also a warmth that he craved to claim as his. She was silver and gold and dark. She was everything he had wished for. Had his wishes been heard? Has someone deemed him worthy enough for his selfish wishes to be fulfilled? Wishes for comfort and affection and love. "Thank you," he said with a trembling smile. "I'm starving." His response seemed to please her and she stepped away from the counter and to the table where she pulled back one of the chairs. The sound strangely soundless in the room. He braced himself, his hands now in tiny fists at his sides as he tapped barefoot to his mother and the chair she had pulled back for him. His eyes were on her the whole way around the table, just like hers were unblinkingly focused on him, her smile unchanging. Something about that made a chill go through his body. "My poor boy, you must be freezing! Sit, sit, and I will bring you a blanket and make you hot chocolate." Armitage sat down rather stiffly, he felt severly out of his element. He didn't know how to react to someone wanting to take care of him. He was ready for the blow to come, a fist to his face, the familiar sting of pain and betrayal. But instead there was a quick kiss pressed to his pale cheek, causing him to startle in programmed fear. "I... I..." He could only mutter dumbly as he watched his mother's face, so close to his now. "Eat, I will be right back." And he ate. Once she had returned, she had placed a fuzzy blanket across his shoulders and set down a mug of hot chocolate in front of him on the table. Then she proceeded to watch him while he ate, fascination painted on her face and Hux felt weird being looked at so intently and with such care. She asked him about his new home and about his day and what books were his favourites. No one had ever listened to him or been interested in all that was going on inside his head. Soon he felt himself grow more and more sleepy though. His yawning became increasingly frequent and once he had drank the last sip of his hot chocolate, his mother stood up with that gentle smile on her face that he hoped she only gave him. "Let's go to bed, darling." She held out her hand for him to take and he did. It was warm and solid, real. They walked up the stairs, hand in hand and side by side. His eyes were drooping close and he gave one final, huge yawn as he finally settled into bed... This room looked almost exactly like his, but the bed was so much comfier and the sheets so much softer and shelves were packed with books and toys. "Goodnight, Armie," his mother said in a quiet voice, kissing his forehead and tucking him in. He felt himself drifting into dreamland. "Where have you been all this time, mum? I missed you." "I've always been here, waiting for you." Before falling asleep he could feel her fingers stroking through his hair, lulling him into a peaceful slumber. 0 Comments

02/07/2021 04:14 PM  Chapter 3 (Coraline AU) Armitage glared at the little Hux doll sitting on the window sill ominously illuminated by the pale, yet bright, light of the big round moon. It hadn't been his plan to place it there, but everytime he tried to hide it under the bed or in one of the drawers of his tiny nightstand it kept winding up somewhere else, somewhere perfectly visible to him. It was creepy and Armitage didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit. Even though it only had those black buttons in place of eyes, he could feel it mocking him. He rolled his eyes at himself. This was ridiculous... Dolls couldn't just walk by themselves. Maybe it had some sort mechanism on the inside that made it possible to move? But it looked like an ordinary, hand sewn doll... Lolin's words that she had uttered after seeing the doll sitting by the well, echoed in his mind. "Be careful, Armitage. Sometimes what we wish for isn't what we truly need." What had she meant by that? The look in her blue eyes and the sound of her voice made it terribly mysterious. Armitage was curious. There were strange things going on in their new home. And being a child he wanted to solve all the riddles that life gave him. At this age he still believed it to be possible. He only had to try hard enough and no mystery would stay shielded from him. His father always told him how much a person could accomplish with hard work. The problem was that Armitage could never accomplish anything of substance in his father's cold eyes. Armitage thought about the things he wished for... Parents that cared for him would be nice. Parents that didn't let him go to bed hungry... He sighed. Was that a bad wish? He pulled the stiff bed covers higher over his form, pulling them under his chin and snuggling deeper into his pillow. "Armitage..." A whisper of his name. It sent a shiver down his spine. He must've fallen asleep, because that's what stirred him back to wakefulness. He felt disoriented for a moment, rubbing his eyes, not sure if it had been part of a dream... Then there was the sound of thunder that made him startle and as he looked out off the window the spark of lightning gave view to a cat sitting upon a branch of the rather imposing tree. Armitage's green eyes widened and he gave a gasp as he scrambled to sit up on the bed. He untangled himself from the covers and stumbled towards the window, tapping against it with his fingers. Strangely, even in the darkness of the night he could see the cat's equally green eyes looking back at him, mustering him. The storm was once again being rampant, wind howling around the roof of the house, making it creak, rain hitting against the glass of the window so hard that it made the world beyond it look all blurry and unreal. "Armitage..." Another whisper... Armitage turned around sharply and in the dark he saw the shadow of the doll lying on the floor by the open door. "Huh," he mumbled and went to pick it up. "You sure are the weirdest doll I've ever met." He flicked it in the nose, before carefully making his way out off his room. He looked around in the hall and noticed that in one of the rooms a faint light was burning. The way it flickered indicated that it had to be a candle. Armitage frowned, but couldn't stop his curiosity from leading him towards it. His legs particularly started walking without consulting him or the apprehension that was simmering underneath his supposed bravery. Indeed once he entered the room he saw a candle lit in the middle of it. The light it cast was portraying trembling shapes upon the walls surrounding it. For a moment Armitage was awed by the sight, but then the sound caused his gaze to focus elsewhere. "Meow," softly, but demanding, came from the cat he had previously watched through his bedroom window. How was it here now? Armitage shook his head as if to clear it, but there it was still. Its ginger tail curled in the air as it looked at him before disappearing behind a door that he had not noticed beforehand. He was clutching the doll against his chest, slowly walking to the door that seemed to emanate a colourful glow from behind it. When he stood right before it, he could see an endless tunnel beyond it. It was pulsing with light that looked like stars or the sky sometimes in the morning when the sun was coming up or like the pictures of the galaxy he had seen. His eyes were wide with awe, the glow mirrored in them. The tunnel was narrow, so Armitage went down onto his knees, still holding onto the doll as he started crawling through the passageway. He wondered where it would lead him, his eyes glimmered in the lights. It took a while, but finally he could make out an opening in front of him. Once he crawled through it, he found himself in... ...exactly the same room he had come out of. How strange... Though, gazing around he noticed some differences. For one the candle was missing and it looked to be fully furnished unlike the room in their apartment. He reckoned it could be another apartment that was wall to wall with theirs. "Armitage," a voice called, it sounded like the one that had been whispering. It was soft and feminine. "Come down, dinner is getting cold." Dinner? He blinked. Had his neighbour been awaiting him? Armitage felt embarrassed to be in his pyjamas, they were flannels with little space ships upon them, slightly too short at the sleeves and trousers. But he made his way towards where he thought the kitchen would be if this was indeed a perfect mirror image of his apartment at the other side of the tunnel. Once he stepped into the kitchen he saw a woman facing the dinner table. She was humming a song to herself and had red hair just like his, but longer, left open and flowing down her shoulders and back. "There you are, Armie," she said as she turned around to face him. And Armitage looked at her stunned, because even though he had never seen her before, he was sure that this was his mother. He stared up at her, his skin covered with goosebumps. "Mum?" 0 Comments

11/07/2020 08:59 PM  Chapter 2 (Coraline AU) The house echoed with silence as Armitage bounded down the stairs. He didn't think about how it seemed almost too quiet. He was feeling too excited about going outside to think about how eerily quiet it was. He wanted to make use of the surprisingly sunny weather. However, a problem occurred when he briskly pulled open the door and was hit by gusts of wind and rain. He glared at the now dark, cloudy sky. How dare it destroy his afternoon? He let the door fall closed again and kicked it in a burst of uncharacteristic petulance. But he allowed it, there was no one around to witness it anyway. "Armitage! What in God's name are you doing?" Of course that would be the moment his father showed up. Hux turned around at a speed that he didn't know he even possessed. His face was red with embarrassment as he stood as straight as he could, facing the man, who was looking at him from the top of the stairs. "Nothing. I'm sorry, father. I... I wanted to go outside, but it's raining." "Well then, find something to do inside and don't bother me anymore. I have work to do." Before Armitage could say anything in response Brendol was already gone, slamming shut the door to his office. He flinched. Loud noises made his skin crawl. He threw one last wistful look outside before walking up the stairs again. This time his steps were much less energized. Armitage wondered about how odd that was. How the way he felt influenced the way his body worked. The world seemed full of mysteries that he didn't yet understand. He thought yet, because like every child he thought that adulthood, growing up, would give him all the answers to everything. The long-sleeved dark blue shirt Armie was wearing was a bit big for him, the sleeves hanging over his hands. All his clothes were slightly too big, his parents said that he would grow into them, that it would be too expensive to buy new clothes every time. But he knew how often Maratelle bought new clothes for herself. So, he assumed that in his parents' eyes he wasn't worth it. He told himself that he didn't care if they wanted to treat him like that, like he meant nothing, but that would be a lie. He sighed and wrapped his arms around his torso as he walked slowly through the hall. His green eyes wandered across the space. There were several doors that led to different rooms. He chose the one that brought him to the living room. Hux shrugged. It looked exactly like any other living room. Nothing out off the ordinary, pretty boring to be honest. His fingers stroked over the fabric of the couch as he walked past it. His eyes had been drawn to a picture hanging on the wall. It depicted a family. A man, a woman and two boys, maybe a few years his junior. With closer inspection he noticed that the boys were twins. They looked exactly the same, apart from their hairstyle and their facial expressions. The one with longer hair, standing on the left, was glaring at the camera, as if he wanted to murder whoever would be looking at this picture. The other boy had short hair, which caused his rather large ears to stick out. He was smiling shyly. Armitage wondered if this was the family that had lived here before. He was curious about their story, but he knew that he would never find out. Maybe he could make up his own story about them? Something mysterious and adventurous. With this new idea in mind, his steps were lighter when he exited the room once more and walked into his own. He had a notebook that he used for writing all of his stories. He wasn't sure if he was any good at it. He hadn't shown anyone before, no one even knew that he enjoyed writing. Most importantly he could never have his father see, he was certain that the man wouldn't approve. Once in his room, he plopped onto the bed and retrieved the notebook from his backpack. With the book and a pen in his hands, his eyes fixed on the window that was now covered with rain drops. The windowsill seemed wide enough for him to sit on and he quite liked that idea. If he can't be outside, he could at least enjoy the view from his dry room. He hopped up onto the sill, with his notebook flipped open against his thighs. His forehead wrinkled at the sight he was met with when he gazed out off the window. There in the pouring rain was a girl. She appeared to be dancing, her face brightened by a smile. She stomped into the puddles, causing the muddy water to dirty her blue jeans and the yellow raincoat she was wearing. Armitage blinked. He had never seen anyone being out in the rain for fun. But this girl seemed to be enjoying it. Was she one of the neighbour's children? She had long blonde hair that swayed with her movements though by now it was pretty heavy from being soaked through. Her frame was thin and tall. Suddenly the girl's eyes were connected with his. He gasped, his own widened as she waved up at him with a joyful smile. Hesitantly Hux lifted his own hand, the one holding the pen, to wave back, though it was stiff and short. The girl motioned with her hand for him to come outside as well. He shook his head, because he couldn't, could he? He would be all wet and cold and... He swallowed, looking down at his lap. Before he knew it, he was wearing his blue raincoat and was once again running down the stairs. He would possibly regret this later, but something about the open joy on the girl's face had pulled him in. He wanted to feel it, too. He was equipped with an umbrella though, he wouldn't go full-blown rain child... yet. "Hi, I'm Lolin." It wasn't easy not to shriek at the sudden voice sounding from his left. He flinched though before his eyes fell on the soaked girl he had seen before. She was holding out her hand, the other pulling her wet hair from her face. He blinked slowly, but fit his hand into hers and shook it. "Hello, I'm Armitage." He often felt that his smile looked more like a grimace, but he tried. "You just moved in, right? I live here with my grandma, the apartment above yours." It was still raining. But Armitage guessed that her clothes were already so soaked, it possibly couldn't get any worse. "Yeah," he replied. He wasn't sure what more to say. He wasn't used to talking to other kids his age. He held onto the umbrella as he watched her. "Cool! I could show you around? No... wait! I will show you around! C'mon! I know all the best spots!" She smiled brilliantly and tugged onto his hand, she pulled him along with her. Hux was probably in shock, because he allowed it. After a while they were standing at a well. The rain had stopped, so Armitage had closed his umbrella. He eyed the well curiously, it was covered with wooden boards. He raised his eyebrows. "Why is it covered?" Lolin shrugged. "Grandma said it's for our safety." He assumed that she meant it was supposed to prevent them from falling inside. "Oh!" The girl exclaimed suddenly. She bent down and picked something up from the dirty ground. "You got one, too..." Her voice sounded sullen and he frowned. He looked at what she was holding and... "I... I left it in my room? How is it here?" He pulled the doll from her hands, looking at it in disbelief. It was the same one that he had found in his room, the one that looked like him. "Be careful, Armitage. Sometimes what we wish for, isn't what we truly need." His skin prickled with goose bumps and he was certain that it wasn't from the cold. 0 Comments

11/07/2020 06:07 PM  Chapter 1 (Coraline AU) Armitage's face was almost plastered against the car window. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the house as quickly as possible. Another move wasn't something that he had been looking forward to, but he was getting somewhat used to them by now. It had something to do with his father's work, it seemed to send him to all sorts of different places. At first Armitage had tried to make friends when they moved, but after it's been a couple too many times, he resigned himself to be the loner, the outsider at the schools he attended. He didn't like people much anyway... He didn't need friends in order to be pleased with his life. A frown formed on his small face as he witnessed the house they would be living in for however long it took for them to have the next move. Of all colours it was pink. Hux had never seen a pink house before. It's not that he didn't like it, it was merely odd. He felt that his interest had been piqued. He hadn't expected his father to pick a house like that for them. It didn't fit his usual style. He also knew that they wouldn't be the only people living in it. He wondered what their neighbours would be like? "Stop that, Armitage. Sit properly." The boy rolled his eyes at his father's admonishing voice, but did as he was told and sat with his back leaning against the car seat once more, his arms crossed over his chest. His father was strict, never allowing him to have any fun. He never got the chance to be a real, carefree child. All his father cared about were proper manners and good grades. "That's better. You aren't a toddler anymore after all." Hux found it very hard to imagine his father as a child. He knew that it must've been the case, but to him it seemed ridiculous. Brendol hated anything that could be remotely fun-inspiring, he must've been a very boring, adult-like child. He probably was made fun of at school, maybe that's why he was such a grumpy man now. Not that Armitage didn't have his fair share of bullies at school. His icy cold glare usually kept them at bay though. "Yes, father," he said, his father always required to know that he was being listened to. He squirmed slightly in his seat, feeling tired and bored of sitting still for so long and he was excited to explore the new place. He would never admit to being excited about something, but it was the truth. Once Brendol parked the car in front of the house, Hux wanted to open the door and jump outside, but he knew that wouldn't look proper in his father's eyes so he got out at a more leisure pace. Pressing his hand to his forehead like a shield from the sun, he gazed up at the house. Not only was the colour odd, but the shape, too. It looked crooked. "Get your stuff, boy. I won't carry it for you," his father's gruff voice sounded, waking him from his musings. He was quick to move and get his bag. There wasn't much in the car, most of their things had already been brought here by a moving company. He shouldered the brown leather bag that contained some of his necessities. Mostly his notebook for his writing and his phone. Hux was glad for the weather being unusually sunny for Ireland - it would be perfect for going out later. It seemed like there was a lot of space around the house to look at and explore. He was itching to walk, the car ride had been long and tiring. However, for now he followed his father and his step-mother into their new, probably temporary, home. They would be living in a two-story apartment. It smelled of dust and wood when they entered it and even though outside was sunny, the inside of the house was rather dark and gloomy looking. It was definitely old and not renovated for a long time. But he wasn't complaining, old places usually had a soul, a story, and Hux wanted to find out the stories this house carried. Armitage didn't see much of Maratelle, his step-mother, as she disappeared upstairs. He never saw much of her anyway. It's as if she couldn't stand looking at him. The boy somehow got used to it. She would never be the mother he craved. He didn't remember his birth mother... Brendol told him that she died when he was a baby. He didn't know why she died. His father always gave him the impression of not wanting to talk about her. He didn't even know her name. He only knew that she must've had red hair like his, because his father's hair was blond. Or it used to be, before it turned the shade of grey it was now. Hux often wondered if his mother loved him. When he was feeling especially lonely, he would imagine her being here with him, holding him through the nights when the darkness seemed to be especially threatening. Taking a deep breath, he shook those thoughts away and braved his way up the stairs as well. He assumed that his room would be there. It was no use to look for his parents now and ask them, they were good at hiding from him. He held tightly onto the strap of his bag that was pressed against his chest as he let his green eyes look around curiously. There was a door that had been left slightly open, Armitage pushed it to open wider with his foot, gazing inside. This seemed to be it. He could see his books on the shelf and the bed was covered with his space-themed bed sheets. It was a small room, scarcely furnished, but Hux didn't need much. He took off the bag and laid it down on the bed, before sitting down next to it. He let himself fall back onto the mattress, it was pretty soft, he stretched his arms above his head as he looked up at the white ceiling. Then his eyes moved to the right and there on his pillow was a doll... Hux frowned, he had never owned any toys. He crawled up to the top of the bed and grabbed the doll to examine it more closely. "Huh," he blinked. How odd. The doll looked like him. It was even dressed like him. However, instead of eyes it had two black buttons. How odd indeed. 0 Comments

07/11/2020 06:51 PM  Lost & Found. There was no telling of time on a ship floating in the deep darkness of space. Without any artificial light it would always appear to be night time. However, Hux had the lights in his room set to be activated at 5 in the morning, the time he usually got up to start the day and get ready for his duties. The lights were set to a low, pleasant level in order to not be startling upon waking up. To his irritation today he was being woken up when the room was still blissfully wrapped in darkness. First, something tugged the blanket from his pyjama clad body, causing him to shiver with the sudden cold air hitting his sleep warmed body. He was that type of person, who was constantly freezing. It annoyed him since it reminded him of his thin stature that had always been one of the many reasons fuelling his self-hatred. Hux's eyes were still closed even when he was now blanket-less. He frowned in discomfort. Then there was the sound of a 'meow' and something touching his face, more 'meows' and the fear of suffocation as a rather heavy bundle of fur majestically laid down right on his face. Hux groaned. It wasn't like this was happening the first time either. Millicent had grown awfully demanding over the last few months of being in his possession. Hux didn't mind spoiling her, but he never got enough sleep as it was, usually his head was so filled with information, plans and problems that he couldn't silence it enough to succumb to true rest. Especially recently, sleep deprivation seemed a common theme for most of his nights. So, Millicent choosing to wake him up Maker knows when, definitely wasn't helping his situation. He guessed there was no other option... He resigned and lifted his hands to gently pray his ginger cat from his face and lay her on his chest instead. He blinked open his eyes and looked at her with what he thought was a stern look, but it was dark and damnit he was so bloody tired. "Millie, this isn't acceptable behavior! You have to follow orders. I told you to wait until the lights come on," he wagged his finger at her, but felt admittedly silly at talking to a cat this way. She most likely didn't understand one word of his lecture. He sighed. "You don't understand anything I'm saying... You're just a cat." He rubbed the spot between her eyes, making her purr softly. "You're impossible." He rubbed his eyes, deciding that there was no use lying around and being lazy. He set Millicent on the bed and went to dress out of his silky black sleepwear and into his uniform. In the mornings he usually only had a mug of extra strong caf. While sipping on it he filled Millie's bowls with food and water, in the meantime she had jump off the bed and was now rubbing herself against his legs, walking between them and almost making him stumble. He reached down to pet her some more while she ate. A rare smile appeared on his lips, he felt comfortable here, in this moment, he wished he could trap himself in it forever. It was calm here and for once his pulse didn't seem to be going at impossible levels. But alas, duty called, no time for being soft. "Well, Millie, some of us gotta work. Have a good day." Later on he would blame it on being too tired to notice the ginger ball of fluff exiting the quarters with him and then bolting into the corridors of the ship. The day went well, nothing extraordinary happened, just the usual schematics. But Hux was someone who enjoyed a well oiled system that worked without a hitch, once things had been set into motion, it rolled smoothly. Making his way back to his rooms, he felt satisfied and couldn't wait to see Millicent. However, it didn't take long before he realized that she was nowhere to be found. Hux wouldn't admit it even to himself, but he was starting to panic. This cat had given him calm and companionship, something that he had sadly already grown rather accustomed to. "Millie? Millie... where are you?" He called out, but he knew it was no use. She must be somewhere on the ship. A feeling of dread gripped at him, squeezing his chest. He must've looked absolutely ridiculous as he walked through the corridors, searching frantically though he tried to keep a semblance of calm. "No word of this to anyone or you will be executed," he warned a group of stormtroopers harshly as they witnessed him crouching down to look inside a vent. They quickly made their way away from his dark glare. He was serious and they knew, he made no empty threats. "Huxxy?" He frowned at the horrible nickname and quickly got to his feet, dusting off his uniform as his eyes laid upon Celestia Ren. "Celestia. I told you to refrain from calling me that." She only shrugged her shoulders. "Whatcha doing there?" "I ah... you wouldn't have seen a cat by any chance?" He asked, his hands behind his back to keep them from fidgeting nervously. He stood tall and straight, ever the strict, rigid general, always in control. "Hmm... small, ginger, fiesty?" Hux's heartbeat picked up, but he swallowed thickly and nodded. "Yes, that would be it." "Oh, then Kylo is playing with it. I haven't seen him so relaxed in a while. Thank the stars for whoever brought that damn cat onto the ship, huh?" "Yeah yeah... Where is he?" Apparently Ren was in the training room. So that's where he walked to briskly. He stood still at the entrance to the room, his jade eyes focused on the rather odd, though not unpleasant scene in front of him. Somehow Kylo had found a toy mouse on the ship and was moving it around with the assistance of the Force for Millicent, who was happily chasing it and jumping on it. She hissed and meowed, obviously in her element. Ren was leisurely lying on the floor in his more casual and comfortable training wear. Hux bit down on his lip, suddenly feeling frozen in place. He shook himself out off it though. "What are you doing with my cat, you brute?" He demanded, his voice harsh and accusing as he finally stepped into the room. "Calm down, general, or that vein on your forehead will explode and that won't be pretty." Kylo didn't look up from where his brown eyes were focused on the ginger cat. And Hux had to agree with Celestia, he hadn't seen Ren relaxed like this either. "Shut up! Why is she with you?" A shrug. "She walked up to me, rubbed against my leg, so I took her here. No worries, no harm came to her." He looked up this time and their eyes met. Hux blinked, before sighing and sitting down significantly further away from Kylo. "Fine, you better not hurt her." "Nah. She seems to like me!" He said, with something akin to excitement in his voice. "Right," Hux huffed. But instead of dwelling on words, he let the strangely calm atmosphere of the room wash over him, as he watched both Millicent and Ren. Even his exhaustion didn't seem to weigh on him so heavily in this moment. 0 Comments

07/05/2020 06:58 PM  A New Life. In the end Hux's plan had worked out... let's say, semi-well? At least he was still alive, right? That had to count for something. "We're survivors, Millie... And fugitives." A rare, very rare, chuckle broke through his lips as his green eyes briefly moved to appraise his ginger cat that was sitting curled up comfortably on the co-pilot's seat. She opened one of her eyes lazily and if cats could roll their eyes, she would be doing that right now. Instead she stared at him for a short second before deciding to close her eyes again. What a diva... Though Phasma often pointed out that they had that trait in common. Phasma... as much as he pretended to be a heartless prick, he hoped she'd be alright. She was the only person he could call a friend. Maybe someday they would meet again. However, Hux wasn't one to believe in fate or any silly notions like that. He was a pragmatic man. Still... He snorted, leaning back in the chair as he watched the dark sky behind the glass in front of him. They passed stars and planets as the ship took them to the coordinates he had typed in earlier. He didn't care where they went, he was on the run, both from the First Order and the Resistance. So somewhere far away from anyone he knew was the destination. A planet at the edges of the Unknown Regions. From prior research he discovered that the population count appeared to be small. They were neutral when it came to the war, criminals mostly that needed a place to stay low. Once he had been exposed as the Resistance spy and almost killed by Pryde, he turned the tables and shot the a**hole instead. Hux had been prepared for a while now, wearing a special type of lightweight armour underneath his usual uniform. He was aware of having enemies in the First Order, some people itching to pull the trigger on him. Him being a spy would come out sooner or later, he wasn't stupid nor blinded with arrogance. Watching Pryde crumble to the floor and bleed to death had been an immensely satisfying experience. The older man had been a persistent thorn in his side ever since Hux was a child. Just like his father he was out to torment him. But now it was over and Hux had won. He had smirked cruelly down at Pryde, lifting his leg before pressing his booted foot into the bleeding wound, making him writhe with agony. "I win. Burn in hell, a**hole," he bit out harshly, his heart beating painfully fast against his chest with adrenaline. Hux didn't have time to watch the light of life disappear from Pryde's eyes, so with one last hard kick to his side, the former general made his exit. He couldn't stay here, he wouldn't be trusted. No matter who sympathized with him, the First Order and keeping it intact was still the top priority to everyone. Somehow Hux had managed to flee to his ship and he realized how much he had missed being actively engaged in a fight. It hurt having to shoot at his stormtroopers, but he wanted to survive, minor sacrifices needed to be made. This was his story. And now here he was, on his way to a new life. Hux had never imagined for things to turn out this way, his plan had been to lead the First Order to victory and then rule over the galaxy. But Kylo Ren came along and destroyed his plans. He would never listen or take orders from him, it was distasteful, unthinkable. He was a mere child throwing temper tantrums left and right, not caring about anyone but himself. Hux believed in the First Order and the convictions that came with it, he didn't believe in a First Order with Kylo Ren as their Supreme Leader. Hux felt a sudden sense of crushing disappointment. He had messed up. Now that he was on the run he wouldn't be able to defeat Kylo and save the First Order from being destroyed. He couldn't risk it... But Phasma was still there and she had proved to him countless of times that he could rely on her. Even with this revelation in mind, he felt the fire of resentment and self-hatred burning within his chest. He failed. He failed to reach his goal. Sometimes he craved to release his anger and frustration like he had witnessed Kylo do, destruction, raw emotions brought to the surface by the vehicle of violence, no restraints. But he couldn't, he never learned how. He learned to bottle up everything, so that's what he did now. He swallowed thickly, a few times, his hands clenching and unclenching. A startled gasp left his lips. His lap was now filled with an additional, warm weight in form of his ginger cat. She nudged her head against his belly, pressing herself against him and he reached down to pet her. Some of the tension left him and he felt grateful for taking her with him on this journey. His lips twitched into a barely there smile. "Patience is a virtue, Millie," he said, as they sat together and he continued petting her. ****** It took awhile for everything to sink in. He wasn't sure what made it feel more real. Was it when he looked into his reflection in the mirror and saw the freshly dyed brown hair? Was it when he walked into his new, dirty, tiny apartment and realized that he hadn't lived inside an actual apartment since his childhood? Was it when he had to use a fake name in order to rent the apartment? Not that anyone would care about his true identity here. Everything felt so foreign and suddenly what he before thought was a new start, made his chest feel like there was a stone weighing him down. He slumped down onto the small bed, it was hard and uncomfortable. He buried his fingers in his hair, in a gesture of frustration... It was probably many things at once that made him realize how much he had lost and how little he had now. Everything he had worked towards was gone... He didn't know who he was if he wasn't part of the First Order, if he wasn't a general. He was starting to panic and he knew it, he hadn't had a panic attack so long. Hux tried to even out his breathing. He could do this. He would make his life work, he always did, no matter what. Millicent jumped onto the bed next to him and she pressed herself against his side, purring softly. He let out a breath and lost track of how long he just sat there and stared at the grey, cracked wall in front of him. For the next few days he didn't leave the room. He had some food rations in the bag he had taken with him, so he wasn't starving, not that he was hungry anyway. He was in some weird, dark crisis and he was embarrassed by himself over it, but he couldn't help it... He was allowed to feel sorry for himself for a few days, right? Hux was nibbling at a rations bar that was supposed to taste like cheese cake, he had no idea how cheese cake even tasted, as he gazed out off the window. The street was empty and dark, the other days he looked outside this planet appeared to be too sunny for his tastes. But as long as it kept him safe and incognito he could handle a little sunburn once he dared to step out. Sitting in his own home exile he thought a lot about how he could live his life now. It presented many opportunities for him, opportunities of freedom and of trying to be someone he wanted to be but never had the chance to be during the course of the last years. The first thought was finding work as a mechanic. It had always been something he was good at. And he had fun doing it. But he could imagine something more thrilling, too... A mercenary, a gun for hire? It was a childish dream, the way pretending to be a Jedi knight had been. He was good with a weapon though, maybe slightly out off practice, because he hadn't needed to use it for a while. He would figure this out. How difficult could it be? All he really had to do for now was avoid getting captured and executed. Everything else would fall into place. ****** Armitage gasped as someone pat him on the shoulder, though considering the force of it, it was more a hit than a pat. It made him stumble forward slightly, but he managed to steady himself. He frowned darkly and looked up from the rusty droid he was trying to repair. His frown deepened when he saw it was one of his annoying co-workers. Maker, he hated this... "Damn, if looks could kill, right? Chill, Valin. You really need to loosen up, man." Hux wanted to strangle him so bad. Barnab was an a**hole, so similar to the people who used to bully him when he was a kid and later a teenager. They kept making fun of him for being so uptight, for being a prude. In the end he got to have his sweet revenge on them, it was certainly sweet when he could watch their terrified faces as they realized they were going to die by his hand. And he framed it all so it looked like an accident. He took a few deep breaths to stop himself from lashing out at Barnab. Hux wasn't Kylo after all. Particularly not, because he wasn't dead. A secretive smirk formed on his lips as the thought graced his mind. It was most likely his favorite thought to have, especially since it was one of the few positive things in his life currently. Kylo Ren was dead. Sure, he wished it was him, who arranged his death, he would've made it more dramatic, too, and it would've felt so kriffing good, but all that mattered was that he was gone. The downside was that the Resistance had actually won. Hux cheered himself up thinking that it happened because he hadn't been there to keep the First Order together and accomplish the victory they deserved. With him commanding their actions there was no doubt they would be ruling the galaxy right now. But alas, he had been here on Fandri, hiding. He didn't feel ashamed for running away, his life had been at stake. He wouldn't be able to help the First Order if he was dead. Everything was his strategic plan. For now he would stay here and wait and when the time was right he would destroy the Republic once and for all. He was a man, who held onto his grudges and never let go until he achieved payback. What greater payback would there be than one from a dead man? "What do you want, Barnab?" Irritation was dripping from his words like the sweat down his back. The climate on Fandri was tropical, the air wet with heat. And Hux was sweaty and dirty, even though he had been on this planet for a while he hadn't gotten used to it yet. He wiped his forearm over his forehead, pushing back some strands of his brown hair. "First of all, your freaky cat is scaring me." He grimaced saying that, his eyes warily focused on Millicent, who was sitting next to Hux in his shadow. He was proud when he looked at her and saw her having a stare down with his annoying co-worker. Clearly Millie was winning. He reached out to pet her. "Well, I would watch out if I were you..." "Yeah, right. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you'd like to come to a bar later today with some of the guys?" Hux's eyes widened for a second before narrowing. He didn't trust Barnab... But what could happen? He wasn't a kid anymore and it had been a while since he was at a bar. He shrugged his shoulder, focusing back on the droid. "Sure." The sun was hot on his back, he couldn't wait to have a shower. "Okay, cool. Later!" "Yeah, whatever." He rolled his eyes. Millie nudged her head against his leg, nuzzling herself against it. Hux couldn't wait to rule over the galaxy and for all of this to be done with. Though he also couldn't stop the satisfied smile that appeared on his lips as the droid peeped and chirped to life. 0 Comments

07/04/2020 03:17 PM  It's not easy to take care of a cat. Hux couldn't believe he saved a cat. What would he do with it? He never had any pets. He only had contact with his neighbor's black cat Lilly and that's it. What was he thinking? Maybe... maybe he thought that he was lonely? But no one needed to know that, it was a weakness that only hindered him in achieving his highest potential. No matter the reason, he now had a cat. He remembered the first day he brought it back to the base, its injuries tended to. He gave every crew member that even dared to look at him the darkest, most bone-chilling glare he could muster. Because even if he was carrying a cute ginger kitten pressed against his chest, he could still look like he was capable of cold-blooded murder, because he very much was. Now, a few days have gone by and the cat's injuries seemed to be healing well. She seemed to be mostly sleeping on the makeshift bed he had arranged for her made out off a pillow he put on the floor in his bedroom. Hux didn't have a name for her yet, he wasn't too imaginative when it came to that. It was strange coming back to his quarters and not being met with crushing emptiness, but another soul, maybe not waiting for him, but being there. He found it was easier to breathe somehow, he didn't understand. Had he really been craving company this much? Sure, there was Phasma, his friend, but this was definitely different. Someone... something that relied on him to take care of it. Without him she would most likely not survive. He was important to someone. Even if it was just a cat. And Hux was going to uncharacteristic lengths to make sure his pet lived. The first day he brought her to the Starkiller base, he dared setting foot into the canteen, a place he hadn't really been to before. It felt beneath someone of his rank, it was mostly used by stormtroopers after all. But there he had been, asking the cook if they had any food fitting for a cat. "Yes, sir, right away, sir." He pretended not to feel the eyes following him as he walked out with some canned food and two small bowls. This was ridiculous. One day after working on the bridge and overseeing the stormtrooper's training with Phasma, he actually felt good about retiring to his chambers. Well, that was at least the case until he saw what awaited him there. His green eyes bulged at the disaster. Utter chaos! The couch was destroyed, the fabric scratched and torn, his bed was a mountain of feathers, but the worst was what happened on his desk... All of his projects and reports, in pieces! The designs for his precious superweapon lying on the floor turned into shreds. Armitage felt like screaming, but no, that wouldn't be him. Instead he swallowed, trying to calm down. "Millicent, where are you, you horrible cat?" The name just slipped out, it seemed somehow fitting. She had indeed shown strength by turning his living space upside down. He should've known that she wouldn't always stay as calm and sleepy once the injuries healed it seemed she showed the real devil of a personality that hid inside of her. Hux didn't mind a feisty cat, but this... He plopped down onto his desk chair, carding his fingers through the pieces of paper, nothing could be done to rescue these anymore. He balled his hands into fists, his obsessive-compulsive traits definitely not having a pleasant experience right now. He didn't see when Millicent cautiously approached him, but he felt it when she jumped onto his lap. She moved her paws to his chest, looking up at him. In turn he glared at her, his green eyes darkened. "Go away, you nuisance. I should've just left you there." Maybe, he was sulking, but he hated anyone touching his stuff, let alone destroying it. Millicent kneaded his chest with her tiny paws, and as much as he wanted to... Hux sighed and scratched behind her ear. "I hope you know I hate you." He really didn't, but appearance needed to be held up. 0 Comments

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