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MAKOTO'S QUESTION LIST
THE LESS-THAN LOVELY ASPECTS OF KAT
1. I think I sent some curses to several people. If we are talking about something serious… of course, I never wished them or their close ones to die or get very sick. Oh, I remembered I made one girl bald. And also I've cursed one guy, so he will never be able to drink tequila in his life. He loooooooved tequila, lol. As a teen, I was pretty angsty, and I told some nasty stuff to people. To Cassandra, specifically. But it was caused by my age. I didn't mean that.
2. Lied… I keep pretending I don't like someone. Even though I feel strong sympathy to them. I won't tell more about it. Shhhhh!
3. I guess kind of it is about my father. I know he left my mom as soon as he knew she was pregnant. I don't care about me in this situation, but he broke my mom's heart. And she left a lot to be with him. Of course, I understand now, when you try to date a married man – that's trouble. But she was left literally broken. It destroyed her. She was not a strong person, but her soul was beautiful. And I am convinced he was cruel to my mom. And no, I don't care if he will ever find me and try to talk or even apologize. It's too late.
4. I am not good at keeping secrets. Like, you have to tell me 'KAT, PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE' and still there are not many chances I can stay silent. I will stay because I don't want to start rumors. As for lying, I think I am not bad at this. I have been a bartender. I have to entertain people with different stories and attract their attention. Of course, I had to tell lies.
5. I don't think I am. But I try to calm myself down and take time to recover. But I can be emotional about the rejection. I start to dig in myself: if I am so bad, or I am not good enough. Or maybe I didn't try hard enough for it. Many many many questions and doubts in myself.
6. I broke some dishes in one bar during a huge quarrel with my ex-boyfriend. I hurt him, and he was brought to the hospital. Also, I started working in the bar at the age of 16-17. I guess it is not legal either. Do we consider smoking weed as an illegal action?
7. It's important to understand your own mistakes. I am trying my best to do so.
8. Well, from that incident with my ex, I didn't know I could be aggressive. I don't like fighting. But recently I've realized this ability is must-have. So, violence is not a key, but I am surprised how I come to the thought that it's necessary to learn how to throw hands. 9. 'You are a crybaby' – yes, I am. Or 'You enjoy being flattered' – yes, I am [2]. And 'you flirt a lot' – yes, I am [3]. CHARACTER'S AFFAIR OF HEART
1. I was 16. He was my first love. He left me telling that I am too young for him (he was 18 wtf). He was planning to move to other state. I don't know. Now it doesn't seem important but then, oh, I was in so much pain. Well, he was a stupid manipulative mommy's son. It would not work out anyway. His mom didn't like me.
2. Well, let's avoid names. It was not a pure heart-break. More disappointment. I met one famous rapper. I won't hide, I was starstruck. We had a talk. At first, he seemed super nice, but then I was like, oh, really, just another dude wanting to have me laid, yep. And he took my flirt too personally. He thought he attracted me so much as he had a right to behave like an a**hole. I was very disappointed. Collab with him was my dream and now… meh. 3. I am not sure, I am ready for that. Of course, I can wait and try my best for a person I love. But I have a problem with trusting others, and if they are far away from me… it's depressing. I am needy for a physical contact, for a hug and for a touch. That's important to me.
4. I don't think it's for me. There were moments in my life when I was like yeah, let's have fun. But it doesn't have a long time effect for me. I even felt ashamed after some times.
5. It's my grandmother and many members of my coven. They are not fond of me. And Cass hates being called 'grandma' or 'nana'. She is not proud of me as her relative, I guess, hahaha. She hates when I speak with my British accent. But I cannot au revoir her. She is my only family. I cannot leave my coven, otherwise I will lose my power and I will be weak. I cannot ignore my roots. It's significant for a voodoo witch.
6. Hmmmm… you should ask Serg about. He may curse me or hype me up, it depends on the situation, ahaha. Probably, he can say I can be too emotional or dreamy. But also, I can be so anxious as I start annoying everyone with my overthinking mind.
7. I am single, though, so how would I know?
8. My boss? Hm, when I worked in 'Eucharist' – I have never met him personally. But I know he was glad to hire me. So, I hope he would say determined or hard-working. Ambitious, maybe.
9. Ohhhh… I don't know. I remembered to be called 'bunny' by my mom. Maybe, she thought I was a cute kid with funny front teeth. I dunno, really.
10. Does it matter? Let those evil tongues curse. Let those curses return to them 100x times worse. From what I heard, I am a total hoe. BOUNDARIES WITH THE HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIOS 1. I don't wanna see my last ex. I think I will feel sick and anxious because it's not I am still hurt, but I don't feel safe with him. I won't be surprised if his appearance causes me a panic attack.
2. If I hurry or need to reach my final destination, I will just sigh and roll my eyes. Been there, done there. But if I am having a good time and these m-f***ers ruin it – oh, I won't stop. My friends nearby will have to close my mouth, or I may cause so much troubles. Of course, if I am in not the bad mood, I will try to lose those jerks' confidence as low as their intelligence there. It won't simply exist!
3. I have a rule – if you give money to a friend, say them goodbye. I don't like demanding money back (especially, if I am not in the emerge need. And if I am, I won't be able to give them money at first, probably). And I don't wanna ruin my friendship because I care more for money. And still it depends on the situation. For example, if my girl spends money for a new dress because she has an audition soon – that's okay. But if she just doesn't do anything to get more cash, and she buys stuff – that will be weird. And still, I don't think I will approach and start kicking money out of her.
4. Rumors can be fun, we are too paranoid about them, but there are reasons why. We should be careful with words and If I feel I am trying to be involved in some dirty personal scum – I will point it out loudly. No, my sugar, if you have a problem with someone – I can give you a piece of advice – but don't make me your platform to spill all dirt.
5. I will be hurt. Especially, if it is made by my close person. I may start crying, but I will try my best to keep a poker face or even smile through the whole situation, only to burst out of tears as soon as I stay alone. Oh, and of course that person should feel what I feel! I can demand for vengeance.
6. Still can't forgive… I don't know. I will be indifferent, but I may have a talk to them if they need it.
7. I will try to do that through a personal meet. All my break-ups were not planned, I wanna know what is like – to organize break-up. Maybe I choose a place which is meaningful to both of us, or take us where are not many people. Again, if that doesn't include danger to me. I was left once peacefully, and I still keep in touch with that person, but he messaged me that we couldn't date. And honestly, I felt the similar. That's why it was not painful.
8. Lottery? Oh, cheap money sounds suspicious. It will add more anxiety in my life, I guess, ahahaha.
9. Mmmmmmm… I am not planning to live long, but what if I have less than 10 years in general? Nah.
10. I don't feel THAT insecure in my body to get it more beautiful for such among of time. 11. I wanna enjoy learning rather than just having knowledge be placed in my mind in one second.
The whole question list is created by my dear friend and one of the most talented and the kindest men I know - Akiyama Makoto
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