Tatiana

Last Login:
January 19th, 2021




Gender: Female

Age: 26
Country: United States

Signup Date:
November 05, 2019


Subscriptions:

04/13/2020 01:13 PM 

Task: Playlist

04/12/2020 07:53 PM 

Task: Moodboard

04/03/2020 08:55 PM 

Bi-Weekly Task (March. 29 - April. 04)

Ariana Grande Smile GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

eu·pho·ri·a - a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness

Euphoria. That was a feeling that Tatiana had experienced very little of throughout her life, so it was easy to pinpoint the moments in her life that she could say she'd been happy, the moments in her life that her smiles had been real and her eyes had been dry. There were four moments. The day that she met Delilah, she was the first person that Tatiana had really let in, she was the first person that Tatiana knew she could truly count on not to leave. Her second was the day that her daughter, Sofia, was born. It was in that moment that Tatiana knew she would have someone who loved her and she could love unconditionally for the rest of her life, Sofia was meant to be her chance to start over. The third moment, was the day that Sofia was returned to her, following her ex boyfriend kidnapping her baby grl. The feeling of pure happiness that she felt, holding her daughter in her arms again was something that she'd never forget. That was the happiest she'd ever been, though it was short lived when CPS came knocking on the door. And the fourth moment of pure euphoria that Tatiana had felt in her life came from the unexpected moment that she was reunited with Delilah in the grocery store. 

It was her daughter's birth though, that was the happiest Tatiana had ever been and it was the happiest she'd ever be. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked down at the infant in her arms, a tiny human that had suddenly become dependent on her to fight for her, to survive for her. She didn't want to be like her mother, she didn't want her daughter to grow up without her. She didn't want her daughter to ever be forced to watch as two men murdered her infront of her baby, so she needed to get out. She needed to take Sofia and get as far away from her husband and his associates as she could. The moment that she'd been released from hospital, Tatiana hadn't been able to wipe the smile off her face, despite how scared she was about telling Matteo that it was over. Sofia was her priority and for the first time in her life, she wasn't going to be selfish about it. She was going to do what was right for her daughter, no matter how hard that might have been. 

Rocking the infant back and forth in her arms, Tatiana leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against her head and let her lips curve into a tiny smile. "You are perfect," she whispered, a tear escaping her eyelids as she walked out of the hospital and made her way towards her mother's car. "And I don't care what is going to happen today, I will always be there for you, Mommy promises," she whispered, the smile that had been permanently plastered across her face since Sofia's birth getting wider, if that was even possible. Sofia was the best thing she had ever done, she was the only thing that she'd ever done perfectly and she was going to make sure her baby girl had the life that she deserved, one that Tatiana had never had. She would have a better life. 

03/22/2020 08:43 PM 

Task: Dream

“Mommy? Mommy it’s Christmas! Mommy wake up!” A giggle filled the room as the two year old toddler jumped up and down on the bed, a giggle escaping her lips as she tried to wake Tatiana from her peaceful slumber. “Baby go back to bed, Mommy is sleeping,” she smiled, pulling the pillow up over her fast as she attempted to get some more sleep. Just five more minutes would do, but Sofia continued to poke her arm and whine, making it very clear that more sleep was out of the question. Glancing up at the clock, the brunette rolled her eyes and let a groan escape her lips, “Seriously, baby? It’s only 5am,” she whispered, grabbing the two yer old around the waist and pulling her in for a cuddle. “You are such a pain,” she added with a smirk before peppering her daughter with kisses. 

 

Every single night, it was the same dream. Christmas morning with her daughter, a loving and happy moment, but then it went dark and her dream always took a sudden turn. “Mommy.” Sofia whispered, pressing her face right up against Tatiana’s as she gently tapped her cheek in a bid to wake her sleeping mother. “Mommy?” This time, it was no use. This time, Tatiana didn’t wake from her sleep and the gentle taps got harder and harder and her daughter’s whispers turned into screams. Saofia was crying and screaming and then it went dark once more as Tatiana slowly began to stir and wake up from her dream. Her body twitched and a small whimper passed her lips, but she didn’t fully wake and instead, the sounds of sirens invaded her dreams and the image of a hospital. Tatiana was on a bad, barely breathing as she was wheeled into the hospital, her daughter crying and screaming as she attempted to run after her. 

 

The defibrillator paddles were placed on her chest and her daughter came into view. She was dying and her daughter, her two year old, was watching everything. It was then that Tatiana always woke, her body shaking and her breathing fast and heavy. To begin with, she’d had no idea what that dream meant. She didn’t even have custody of her daughter, so it was completely unrealistic, but it was a dream, so it wasn’t meant to be. Sofia was the reason she needed to get clean. Her dream, her subconscious, they were working together to tell her to get the help that she needed before it was too late, before her daughter grew up without her and maybe even watched her die.It was the universe’s way of telling her to get help and she was going to listen.

 

03/21/2020 06:26 PM 

Bi Weekly Task: I am grateful. for..

I, Tatiana Rae Garcia, am grateful for what? Up until recently I wasn’t sure I had anything to be grateful for, but I am grateful to be alive. There were so many times when I was growing up, when I didn’t think that I would see my next birthday, but maybe there was someone up there looking out for me. I’m not a very religious person, but maybe, just maybe there is a greater being out there that knew my story wasn’t over yet. I wish he, or she, would tell me what was coming next though! Some days I feel like I’m stuck, like I have no direction, but I am grateful to be breathing, I am grateful to be alive.

 

What else am I grateful for? My friends. I had never had a real friend until I met Delilah. She became my best friend, my person. She brought out the best in me and the worst. She showed me what it meant to be a friend and have friends in return. She helped me to learn how to trust people and how to let people in and for that, I will be forever grateful! Since moving to New York, I have made some other wonderful friends and have been reunited with others, friends that I have met along the way but lost touch with. I am grateful for the true friends I have, the ones who don’t judge me for the mistakes I have made or the bad choices I make. I am grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life.

 

Despite how odd it may sound, I am also grateful for my ex husband, Matteo and all that he put me through. Experiences, whether good or bad, are what make you who you are. Some of the worst times in my life are because of my relationship with him, but they made me stronger and my relationship with him gave me Sofia. I may have lost her for now, but she will forever be my little girl and she will forever be in my heart. For that, for Sofia and for the strength I can now find in myself, I am grateful to him and I always will be. It doesn;t matter what he has done to me or the pain he has caused, he was once everything that I had always wanted.

 

I am also grateful for New York. New York represents safety, home, and a fresh start. New York helped me start again and find somewhere that I could call home, somewhere that I could finally belong. It gave me back lost friends, it gave me back lost memories, and it gave me back a lost piece of myself that I never thought I would have again. In all honesty, I’m not sure I would still be here if it wasn’t for the city. New York brought me to all of those people that I love, it brought me to my support network and for that, I will always be grateful. A city and people can’t change your life though and I know that, but these elements of my life give me a reason to keep fighting. They give me a reason to hold on and not give up.

 

03/20/2020 05:03 PM 

Task: The Irish Flag Reclipe.


Image result for the irish flag drink

THE IRISH FLAG

The best drink you'll ever taste and the easiest to make. 

Ingredients Needed: 

1/3 Green Creme de Menthe
1/3 Baileys Irish Cream
1/3 Grand Marnier

Instructions: 
1) Pour a shot glass 1/3 full with Green Creme de Menthe.
2) Pouring very slowly over the back of a spoon, add a layer of Baileys Irish Cream.
3) Again pouring very slowly over the back of a spoon, add a layer of Grand Marnier.
4) Drink, drink, drink!

03/19/2020 03:30 PM 

Wish Wednesday Task.

Image result for ariana grande magical gifs
Tatiana's Wish List



001: Tatiana's biggest wish is that she will regain custody of her daughter. She is her greatest love and losing her is the biggest regret of Tatiana's life. 

002: She wishes that she could find somewhere that she truly felt like she belonged. A forever home rather than a temporary one. 

003: She wants to travel to Spain. Her mother's side of the family is Spanish so she has always bee intrigued by that culture. 

004: She hopes to one day overcome her addiction, though she doubts that will happen any time soon. 

005: She wants to meet JK Rowling. Tatiana is obsessed with the Harry Potter books, so she wants to meet the incredible mind behind them. 

006: Although it is a long way off, she hopes that one day she will be able to truly love herself the way that she should. 

007: She wants to fall in love and have more children, despite how unlikely she thinks that is.

008: Tatiana wants to make it as a singer. She has loved singing ever since she was a little girl and hopes to one day leave behind the life of an exotic dancer, and fully make it as a musician. 

009: Tatiana idolizes Cher and it is her dream to meet her in person. 

010: Tatiana wishes that she could erase the mistakes of her past, but since she can't, she hopes that she can put right those mistakes and fix things with the people she hurt. 

03/18/2020 02:37 PM 

Drabble Tuesday: A rainbow is a promise...

“Aquí está para ti abuela,” Tatiana whispered, raising her glass to her lips and downing the clear liquid in one mouthful. It had been two months since her grandmother had died and if she’d still been alive, she would have been celebrating her 70th birthday. She’d been the last of Tatiana’s family and there wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t think about her and wish that she was still there. Her grandmother had picked up all of her broken pieces, time and time again, but it didn’t seem to matter, she fell apart almost as quickly as she was put back together. Raising her hand, she held up a finger and nodded for the bartender. “Give me another,” she stated, pushing the glass away from her and towards the man standing behind the bar. As Tatiana waited for her drink, she moved two fingers over the gold bracelet on her wrist, the only thing that she had of her mother’s, though it had been her grandmother’s before that, and let a tear fall down her cheek.

A rainbow is a promise of sunshine after rain, of calm after storms, of joy after sadness, of peace after pain, of love after loss. Tatiana had been ten years old when she'd first heard those words. She'd woken from a nightmare following her mother's murder, screaming and shaking as the images of the man holding the gun and her mother's dead body played through her mind like a movie. Her grandmother, her abuela, had sat with her for two hours in a bid to comfort her, whispering those words as she placed a gentle kiss against Tatiana's forehead. It had comforted her for a while and whenever things got hard, it was those words that she’d sort comfort in, but as she got older and some storms seemed to last longer than others, Tatiana had started to doubt those words of wisdom. 

As her drink was placed in front of her, the brunette was pulled from her thoughts and it was only then that she realised she had a stream of tears cascading down her cheeks and a trail of mascara in its wake. Moving her hand to her cheek, she wiped the tears and reached for her glass, bringing it to her lips before she wrapped thin red lips around the rim of her glass and took a generous mouthful of the beverage. She didn’t even know what it was, but she really didn’t care, as long as it took the edge of, she’d drink it! Shuddering slightly, she picked up the glass and finished the liquid before slipping off the barstool and grabbing her purse. All she could think about was going home and getting into bed, wanting to shut the world away for a few hours or maybe even days! 

Despite all that she’d been through: her mother’s death, her abusive husband, a brutal rape, and losing custoday of her daughter, she knew that she was incredibly lucky. It didn’t always feel like it, but she’d felt love. She’d known what it felt like to love and be loved in return, she’d known loss and she’d felt heartbreak. They were easy things to take for granted, especially when the pain and hurt seemed to outlast the moments of happiness and joy, all the pain and all the tears that she’d experienced, followed moments of pure bliss and because of that, she had memories that would last a lifetime. She needed to get her act together but it wasn’t just about her daughter. Sofia was the light of her life, but she needed to get sober for herself. She needed to put the past behind her and find a way to rebuild her life before she could even consider taking care of a child, though she had no idea where to begin.

03/17/2020 02:44 PM 

Task: Moodboard Monday: March 16th.

"When it comes to luck, you make your own"

03/07/2020 09:52 PM 

Bi-Weekly Task: Dear New York

Image result for New York City

Dear New York City.

Thank you. Thank you for giving me a second chance at a life and for showing me that it was possible to start over. When I first moved to New York, I was running away from a life that I’d never wanted but a life that had been forced upon me. I was running from my father; a cult leader who forced his values and beliefs on me, giving me very little choice to try and find my own destiny. However, when I plucked up the courage to leave New Mexico behind and start a new life elsewhere, a new life in the gorgeous City of New York, you were there for me. This is what dreams are made of, this is what a fresh beginning feels like. This beautiful city, a place I am thankful I can call home, became my second chance. I met some amazing people and reconnected with others, people I never thought I would see again. You are my home and I'll never have the words to express my love for this gorgeous city. 

It hasn’t always been smooth sailing though. Nothing ever is and I get that, but all you can do is pick up the broken pieces and try to start over. As much as it hurts, I know that I have to. I was fired from my job last week. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, but what I do know is that I have no plans on leaving. I won’t lie, I thought about it, but where would I go? I have no money and no family, besides, no where else in the world feels like home. This is where she was. This is where she had me and this is where she left me. My mother, all of the memories that we share are in New York, so how could I leave? Just thinking about her causes an unbearable ache in my chest, but I know that she is out there with me every single day, so how can I leave. New York, my beautiful city, It’s you and me against the world. It’s been that way ever since I took my first breath and it will be that way until I take my last. 

New York, it’s been an on and off love affair between us both, but one that neither of us can walk away from completely. You are a part of me. You are the place I feel safe. You are the city that makes me feel whole again and I will forever be indebted to you. You represent safety, love, truth, and friendship. We took a break for a while, but I came back when I was 21 years old and I haven’t left since. No matter what life has thrown at me, at us, it’s going to be you and me until the bitter end. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being my safety net.

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