Tatiana

Last Login:
January 17th, 2021




Gender: Female

Age: 26
Country: United States

Signup Date:
November 05, 2019


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07/01/2020 11:42 PM 

4th of July Playlist

07/01/2020 06:19 PM 

Drabble Tuesday Task

trigger warning: Overdose

July 1st, 2010

“Hurry up, Tatiana, or we’ll leave without you,” a small groan left her lips when she heard her stepmother's voice before she grabbed her bag and dragged it out of the house and over to her father and stepmother’s car. She hated that woman with a passion, but if she started anything or got into an argument with the evil step monster, that she wouldn’t be able to go to New York and she’d be stuck in New Mexico for the 4th of July holiday. Independence day was her favorite day of the year. It was better than Christmas, Easter, her birthday. It was better than any other day of the year because it was the one day of the year that she was able to return home to New York. New York was home and it had been since she’d been adopted at 4 years old, so whenever she was given the opportunity to go home, even if it was only for a few days, Tatiana jumped at the chance. 
 

July 4th, 2010

Being stuck in the car for three and a half days with her stepmother and three step-siblings was like hell on earth, but she’d done it in order to spend three days with her friends, friends that she’d been forced to leave behind when her father had decided to pack up and drag the brunette away from everything that she loved, from the people that she loved. She missed her friends, she missed New York, and she was so glad to be home, even if it was only for a few short days. Grabbing her bag from the back of the car, the brunette dragged it along the ground and into the hotel, rolling her eyes when she heard her father’s voice. “As soon as we are checked in, we are going to get dinner at the restaurant,” she stated, though the brunette shook her head and spun around on her heels. “No way. I am not spending the night with you guys. I am only here for three days, I’m going out with my friends.” She wasn’t leaving it up for discussion and as soon as she’d finished speaking, she headed up to the room, threw her bag on her bed, and headed out of the room.  “I’m on my way now,” she quickly typed before sending her friend the message. It had been months since she’d last seen her friends from New York. Sophie had visited her briefly in New Mexico a few weeks earlier, but it wasn’t often that she got to spend time with her girls.

Tatiana had never been to a party before, not really. She’d had drunken nights in New Mexico, drinking was what had helped her get through the dull nights with her family and away from her friends, but she’d never been to a proper family before or had a wild night out, not until now anyway. After flagging a cab down and heading to her friend’s 4th of July party, Tatiana had gotten completely trashed. She didn’t think she had ever been so drunk before, but drinking had consequences and they weren’t always good ones, especially when you mixed alcohol and pills. That was never going to be a good mix, but that hadn’t stopped Tatiana from drinking and popping pills like they were candy. “I feel sick,” she mumbled as she looked for Sophie. She’d searched the party for fifteen minutes before she’d collapsed on the floor, foaming at the mouth, and her eyes had fluttered closed.

06/30/2020 12:33 PM 

4th of July Mood Board

"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better."

06/25/2020 01:54 PM 

Bi Weekly Task: Fathers


Pretty little liars pll GIF on GIFER - by Dagore
 

Father’s Day had never been a day that Tatiana had celebrated. Her father had never been around and when he was, it had only ever been to see her mother. She’d spent the first five years of her life wondering why she hadn’t been good enough, wondering why he hadn’t wanted to spend any time with her, though on her fifth birthday, she’d learned it was because he had another family. At least that’s what her mother had told her. “One day baby, one day daddy won’t have to go away,” her mother had told a five-year-old Tatiana, who had clung to her teddy, asking her mother why her father hadn’t shown up for her birthday when he’d promised to the last time he had been there. It had been two weeks since she’d last seen her father, a two-minute visit before the babysitter had turned up and her father had whisked her mother away for a weekend away. He’d promised to spend her entire birthday weekend with her. He’d promised to take her to Disneyland. That had been the moment that Tatiana had learned not to trust a single thing a man said. They only told you what you wanted to hear and she hadn’t believed a man since. 

She’d grown up knowing that she had a sister. She’d grown up knowing that Journey was her sister, but it was her fault that her father wasn’t there. Her mother had drilled it into Tatiana that if her father wasn’t married and if he didn’t have a daughter, he would have been there for her. She knew now that it wasn’t true. He’d been a sh*t dad to both of them, so it wasn’t Journey’s fault at all, but she’d grown up thinking otherwise. She’d grown up resenting her and although she was building a relationship with her older sister now, it was hard. She’d held a grudge for such a long time that it had become like second nature to her, but Journey was one of the most amazing people in her life, so although she had a terrible father, she was also thankful at the same time. If it wasn’t for him then she wouldn’t have a sister, she just wished that the two could have grown up together and had a proper relationship. They were both still alive though, so Tatiana guessed that it wasn’t too late

She wanted to meet her father. She’d met him before, but only briefly every second weekend when he turned up to see her mother. They had been two minutes of false promises and lies, moments that she’d never get back, but she hadn’t seen him since she was ten years old and she didn’t think she would see him again. She had no idea where he was or if he had found a family to settle down elsewhere. If he had, she hoped that he was a better father than he had been to her and her sister. Maybe he was dead, or maybe he was in the gutter somewhere, but she needed answers. She needed to find out one way or another and she knew that Journey didn’t know what it was she was looking for. Running her tongue along her lower lip, Tatiana reached for her laptop off the table and pulled it onto her lap, lifting the lid so that she could search for the man who had helped bring her into the world.


GIF | Gfycat

06/13/2020 02:23 PM 

Pride Week Task: Three Word Drabble

Bi Pride Flag #PRIDE / Hashtag PRIDE - Rainbowshop

"Abuela," Tatiana said softly as she slowly walked into the kitchen and walked over towards the stove, to where her grandmother was standing. "Would you like some help cooking dinner?" she questioned, biting down on the inside of her mouth as she grabbed the wooden spoon and slowly began to stir the liquid that sat in a saucepan on top of the stove. She always offered to help her grandmother make dinner when she wanted to talk or when something was playing on her mind, but she didn't know how to open up or even start the conversation. Her sexuality was not something that she had ever even considered discussing before, but she didn't want to hide who she was or pretend to be someone she wasn't. Ever since she could remember, she had dreamed of her wedding and what her perfect prince would look like, but now she wasn't so sure her happily ever after even involved a prince. Maybe, just maybe it would be a princess who swept her off her feet. She was only 13 years old though, so there was still plenty of time for her to worry about that, but she didn't want to hide who she was from the one person who had been there for her since birth and she needed to talk about it, even if it was just so she knew that her grandmother would accept her for who she was.

"Tatiana, what's wrong? You only ever offer to help when you want to talk about something. So, what is it?" she asked, slapping Tatiana's hand away from the pot as the teenager had continued to absent mindlessly stir it. “Huh, what? Oh.” She furrowed a small frown as she let go of the wooden spoon and slowly turned her attention to her grandmother. “Well, there is something..” she whispered, running her tongue along the inside of her mouth as she slowly moved to sit down on the chair at the kitchen table. “Abuela, what does love feel like? I mean, when did you know that you loved abuelo?” she questioned, though that wasn’t the question that she really wanted to ask. She wanted to ask her grandmother how she had known that she liked men. Did it just come naturally? She guessed it must have. It was normal for girls to like boys, she was the one that wasn’t normal. That's why they called it ‘coming out’, right? Because society assumed that everyone liked members of the opposite sex. “I mean….I mean, how did you know that you liked him..” she paused and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before she continued. “..Or boys at all?”

Tatiana’s nerves seemed to subside when she saw the small smile that spread across her grandmother’s lips. “I guess, the same way that you know you like girls,” she said softly, moving her hand to place it atop her granddaughter’s as Tatiana’s jaw fell open and she slowly looked up. “I ah….I don’t...How?” she questioned. She had only just found out herself, so she didn’t understand how her grandmother already knew. “Do you remember when you were seven and you made your mother sew you that Elvis costume for halloween? And the next year it was Aladdin?” she asked, a small grin spreading across her lips. “I remember,” Tatiana whispered, shaking her head and brushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “I miss her everyday, but she’d be so ashamed if she knew,” she whispered, feeling tears sting her eyelids, though when her grandmother squeezed her hand, Tatiana slowly looked up, her dark brown orbs locking with her grandmother’s. “No, ella no lo haría. Ella lo sabía, mi amor. Ella supo.”

She didn't understand how her mother could have known. Tatiana had only been ten when she'd died, but yet, somehow she'd known? "Your mother would want you to celebrate who you are. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You are still my granddaughter and I love you so much. Be proud of who you are because God knows, I am proud," she whispered, gently patting Tatiana's hand as she offered her granddaughter a small smile. "Be the strong, independant woman that your mother and I have raised and go out there and empower the rest of the world to embrace who they really are. Make the world a better place." Tatiana rolled her eyes and leaned over to wrap her arms around her grandmother, hugging her tightly as she spoke in a whisper. "I love you, abuela. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."


 

06/11/2020 03:03 PM 

Pride Week Task: Playlist

Top 30 Geboren GIFs | Find the best GIF on Gfycat

BABY, I WAS BORN THIS WAY
 

06/10/2020 04:41 PM 

Pride Week Task: Drabble

Emily Fields GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

2018 - Paris, France. 

"I can't do this anymore, Tatiana. I just, I can't. I'm married. I'm your...I'm your boss. I'm your married boss," Eloise stated as she walked out of the bathroom. "This was a mistake." Tatiana knew where this was going. It was the exact same place that this conversation had led three years earlier when she had been having it with Isabelle. It was the same conversation and the same situation, the only difference was that Isabelle hadn't been her boss. Tatiana knew that she should have known better than to get involved with another married woman, but clearly she had a type; hot married women. Rolling her dark brown orbs, Tatiana finished putting her heels on as she sat on the edge of her girlfriend's bed, but she didn't say a word. What could she say? She didn't beg people to stay. regardless of how much she wanted to. "Did you hear me? It's over." Eloise repeated, as if saying the words would make it anymore clearer to Tatiana. 

"I heard," Tatiana replied, her voice quiet and flat, with very little emotion in her words as she slowly pushed herself up from the bed. She could feel her heart break but she was determined not to show any emotion, regardless of how much her heart was breaking. "You're married and you're too scared to leave your husband. You're too scared to admit how you really feel, so you're taking the easy way out. I've been here before, Elle. I know how this goes." Despite the pain she had been through, she didn't regret falling for Eloise or Isabelle. She'd loved them, she still did, but what she did regret was not fighting for Isabelle, for just letting her walk away without Tatiana saying a word to try and stop her and she wasn't going to do that again. She wasn't going to just let Eloise walk away without a word. "I get it. I get how hard it is to admit that you're not the person everyone thinks you are, but it's okay to be honest. It's okay to make people see the real you and when you do, when you are honest about who you are, you will feel so much better," she assured her lover, a few stray tears cascading down her cheeks.

Tatiana wanted Eloise to know that it was okay to be honest about who she was and what she wanted, but she also knew that she couldn't force the other woman to be open about who she was. It was her choice, it was her descisoin and she couldn't make it for her. Running her tongue along the inside of her mouth, the dark haired female slowly closed the gap between herself and the woman that she loved, forcing her lips into a small smile as she wrapped her arms around her neck and held her close. "I love you, Elle and I will always be there for you," she whispered, giving her a gentle squeeze and pressing a soft kiss against her neck, breathing in the scent that she had fallen inlove with a year and a half earlier. "Consider this my resignation," Tatiana whispered as she slowly pulled back, her eyes locking on the other woman as she gently took hold of her hand. "We both know that we can't work together now, but trust me, you will be happier when you finally accept who you are. You are beautiful and you deserve to be truly happy."

Leaning in, Tatiana placed her lips firmly against Eloise's, giving her one last kiss and though it was a kiss to say goodbye, it took all that she had to pull away. Eloise had made her choice and Tatiana had to live with it, but she wanted to support the other woman and encourage her to be who she truly was, even if she wasn't quite ready to take that step. "When you decide to leave your husband, give me a call," she smirked, wiping the tear that had fallen down the other woman's cheek. "And if you ever need to talk or need advise on woman and how completely messed up they can be, give me a call, especially if it's about a married woman. They are kinda my specialty," Tatiana smiled, leaning in to give her a soft kiss against her lips before she slowly turned and walked out of the bedroom, not daring to look back. She knew that she would struggle to walk out of the house if she did. 

06/09/2020 03:40 PM 

Pride Week Task: Mood board



"There's nothing wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with the world you live in."

05/29/2020 11:46 PM 

What's in a name..



 

Tatiana. The name Tatiana is more than just a name with seven letters and four syllables, at least to the girl who possesses it and to her family.  It’s a name that was given Tatiana Garcia by her mother, a woman who meant the world to her but that isn’t why it means so much. Tatiana was her mother’s middle name and her grandmother’s first name and they are the two most important people that Tatiana has ever known and both no longer walk the earth. The mention of her mother can bring down the brick wall that she has fought so hard to build, it can bring earthquakes and the greatest tsunamis that she has ever known. Her mother was murdered when she was only ten years old. In one split second, the most important person in her life was taken, and ever since then, Tatiana has treasured the name. 

Her mother wasn’t the only significant figure in her life that held that name though. Her grandmother, her abuela, had the task of raising her back in New Mexico, the place that she called home for most of her teenage years, the place that she really found herself and reinvented her image, but like her mother and her aunt, her grandmother was taken far too soon. She was the first Tatiana Garcia and she is the woman that Tatiana was named after and she is the second reason that the name means so much to her. Her grandmother died of cancer, but it wasn’t the first battle of the deadly disease that her grandmother had fought. She’d had cancer twice before, but each time she had managed to fight off the illness, the third time though was not a charm. She was not lucky and she succumbed to the killing machine.

For Tatiana, her name represents strength. It represents love and it represents the future. Two of the most courageous women bore her name. Her mother died protecting her, killed because she wouldn’t let men that she owed money to hurt her daughter, and her grandmother was a fighter. Her grandmother had fought cancer twice and she had won those battles, but she never stopped fighting until she eventually lost the war. Those two women, they are the reason that she keeps fighting, they are the reason that she finds the strength to fight even when she thinks it is impossible. The name also represents the future. A future that she will have, and the one her daughter will have, carrying that name on until long after Tatiana is gone. It is her daughter’s middle name and she plans to teach her daughter all about the two women that she is named after and the true meaning of her middle name. 

05/23/2020 05:32 PM 

Memorial Day Moodboard

"Ceremonies are important. But our gratitude has to be more than visits to the troops, and once-a-year Memorial Day ceremonies. We honor the dead best by treating the living well."



 

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