04/14/2022 05:25 PM  run and hide. cw :: domestic abuse “So… are we gonna ever talk again, or is this just our life now?” Sarah knows Casey has every right to be upset with her, but she can’t take the silent treatment anymore. It’s been two days and they’ve hardly said a word to each other outside a whispered “sorry” every time they have to cross paths in the hall. Even now, he doesn’t answer; he just goes on playing the piano as if she isn’t talking, but she can see he doesn’t have headphones in. “Casey,” she prods, and he just shakes his head. It’s everything in her not to slam the cover down so he’s forced to make himself aware of her, but then they’re right back where they started, aren’t they? She’s about to walk away when he finally closes the cover over the keys and scoots back, a long sigh coming through his nose as he starts rubbing at his eyes. He hasn’t slept in a few days, she can tell, but she can’t say anything about it. She can’t say he should rest when she’s the reason he hasn’t been. She doesn’t want to waste the time he’s giving her — doesn’t want him to change his mind about giving her any attention — so she just stands and waits for him to say something. “I really just don’t feel like talking right now, dude,” he finally says. She hates when he calls her that; she’s always hated it. He’s staring at the ground with his eyebrows furrowed, almost like he’s questioning what’s coming out of his mouth, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking. He keeps picking at the split in his lip. It’s anything but her place to tell him not to, but it irks her when he does it. “Then, what am I supposed to do, Casey?” She blurts out. “How the f*** are we supposed to fix this if you’re just never gonna feel like talking again?” He’s up out of his chair before she’s done talking, a reflex — an instinct that always has him out the door the second tensions get high. He’s always done it. Sarah thinks back to the times he left her at the bar because they got in a fight. She thinks of the ashtray she threw at him because, in the heat of the moment, it was all she could think to do to stop him. She keeps her arms crossed, more for his sake than her own. Her restraint’s been failing her and she knows it. She doesn’t want to scare him away more than she already has, so she has to let him go. She has to let him run and hide. “I don’t wanna lose you.” He’s halfway through the living room when she says it. They stare at each other for a few seconds. His mouth’s open, but he doesn’t say anything. He just grabs his keys and walks out the door. She wants to take off after him, but then they’re right back where they started, aren’t they? She has to let him go. She has to let him run and hide. 0 Comments

03/22/2022 01:35 PM  you're like me. Casey’s been filling time playing Eagles covers on the sidewalk. Most of the time, he turns in for the night empty-handed, but occasionally he’ll score some money for a snack at the gas station, maybe a whole meal if he’s lucky. He’s got another month until auditions begin and hasn’t managed to find anyone willing to hire him, so he mostly finds himself wandering the streets a little aimlessly. He’s sitting on the curb next to his car, head leaned back, eyes closed when someone drops something into his guitar case. He thinks nothing of it, doesn’t even look up until he hears someone talking to him. “What’s up, kid?” It’s the guy who found him on the beach. Casey can’t think of his name right away, but gives him a nod. “Hey. Uh —” “Randy.” “Right. Hey.” “Hey. Don’t tell me this is what you do for a living.” Randy plops down beside him against the car, pointing at the guitar case. Casey raises an eyebrow. “What if it is?” “Doesn’t sound like much of a life for a kid.” “Yeah well… gotta do what you gotta do, I guess.” Randy laughs a little. “So, what’s your end game, then, kid? What’re you out here for?” “Had to get away from home is all.” Casey doesn’t feel like explaining his mission. Every one he’s ever explained it to feels the need to remind him the odds are stacked against him, that Talent! isn’t what everyone thinks it is. “Well, if you’re lookin’ for a job, I can probably hook you up. Pay’s sh*t, but it’s better than waiting around hoping someone hands you something, right?” It’s not in Casey to refuse any kind of hand out. “I won’t say no if you think they’d hire me. Can I ask you something though?” “What’s up?” “How come you care so much?” “Eh, I used to be in your shoes is all, sittin’ on the street begging for money. Sh*t sucks.” Randy stands up and dusts himself off, holding a hand out to help Casey up too. “Don’t like seeing people with no other option is all. Seems like you hate asking so I figured I’d offer.” Casey scoffs a laugh. “Well, thanks. I’m Casey, by the way. Not kid.” Randy laughs, rolling his eyes. “Okay then, Casey. Let’s get the hell outta here, huh?” 0 Comments

03/10/2022 11:52 PM  you failed her. There’s no delicate wording here — no context in which you can softly explain to your little girl that the life she’s always known is about to change forever. When she asks you why, it has you choking on your words. You say it’s not her fault, but she doesn’t seem convinced. She only seems disappointed, asks whose fault is it then, if not hers? How can she fix it? You don’t have the heart to say out loud that there’s nothing she can do, nothing she could have ever done. Tears cloud your vision of her. You know she shouldn’t have to worry about it — shouldn’t have to ask herself why she isn’t good enough to keep everything together. She won’t look at you when you kneel down in front of her. She gets her hatred of people seeing her cry directly from you. You wished you could have emphasized what strength it takes to do so, to spare her the same embarrassment you always feel when the world gets the better of you. “You know what’s not ever gonna change?” She ignores you at first, arms folded, head turned to the side as far as possible. “No…” she finally mutters. You deserve the cold shoulder. You deserve so much more than the cold shoulder. “How much I love you. No matter what, I’m never going anywhere, okay? And I’m never, ever, gonna stop being your dad.” She starts wiping at her face before finally bringing herself over to you. You bring her into your arms. She’s hugging you like she still thinks it’s the last time. “You promise?” She’s the last person you want to disbelieve you; you know you deserve it though, despite the sting in your chest when she has to ask. “Dad, promise?” She asks again. You hold her a little tighter, shield her from facing the change a little longer. It’s the best you can do as the person who failed her. “I promise.” 0 Comments

02/27/2022 07:31 PM  this is the end. cw :: domestic abuse, miscarriage This is the end and it’s nothing like you expected; in a matter of months, you’ve lost everything — a child, your best friend, the love of your life, yourself. You sit in your hotel room, head in your hands. You’re too screwed up to pin-point an exact moment that everything went wrong, but you know you’re to blame, even if you’re still shocked by the unraveling of it all. Your throbbing head, your aching chest, your black eye — you brought it all on yourself. You were too distracted by his hands on you, arms around you, the reassurance in your ear, that you didn’t think about the fallout. You didn’t want to think about it, actively tried as hard as possible to avoid it. And now you’re right back where you started —alone. As you always have been. You don’t know where to start in the way of cleaning this mess up, so you just sit there, letting your phone buzz incessantly, letting the world pass by without you, thinking it should have always been that way to begin with. If you’d kept to yourself, no one would be hurt, including you. If you’d stayed alone, you wouldn’t be so nauseous. You wouldn’t be so screwed up. It’s about the tenth ring when you finally pick up the phone. You know you’re slurring. Even you can’t make sense of what you’re saying, but it comes flying out before you can control it or hang up. “What do you want?” The voice on the other end’s completely unfazed by your ridiculousness. He’s used to dealing with it. He’s seen you at your worst already, and this might be the last time he ever has to. You realize only now how much you’ve taken it for granted. “Let’s go somewhere and talk, okay?” “I’m done talking, dude,” you say, again before you can catch yourself. You’re getting dizzy. You’re gonna throw up if you talk anymore, so you don’t — you just hang up. 0 Comments

02/15/2022 03:28 PM  LIMBO CHALLENGE. * Thank you so much Vic, for allowing us into your beautiful world!!! ♥  CW :: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS “Y’know, you and I have always been outcasts, huh?” Richard sits beside him near an exceptionally tall tree, face obstructed in shadow, but his voice sounds exactly the same. No one else wanted to visit Slaughter Forest, but to Casey, it’s just a name — a tourist trap, one he’d fallen for and now he’s not sure what’s happened to him. Maybe he’d fallen and smacked his head and this is some concussion-induced dream; maybe he’s exhausted to the point of hallucinations after being awake for a few days straight. Maybe the forest isn’t real at all. For whatever reason, seeing Richard doesn’t phase him. Nothing does. If it is a dream, he’ll entertain it as long as he can. Take solace in conversations he never got to have with Richard because he’d been too stubborn to forgive him. He doesn’t ask about the water tower. Can’t bring himself to embrace the daunting concept of reality and when it might return to smack him in the face again. He’s sitting against the tree, knees pulled to his chest, drenched from swimming around in the waterfall nearby, holding fondly to his ability to find a pool to jump into anywhere he goes that’s new. His teeth chatter, but not in an uncomfortable way. Hair clinging to his face. A refreshing coolness that comes with every passing breeze. He’s comfortable. He wishes it were real. “Were you?” He asks, eyebrows arched. “Oh yeah, my whole life. Just like you, kid. It never really leaves you, you know.” Casey scoffs through his nose, cracking a smile. “Thanks, I think I figured that out.” “It only gets lonelier the longer you go along. Might as well just stay out here.” “Ch’yeah, right.” “Well, why not? You ain’t got nowhere else to be.” “There’s probably a hundred places I should be right now,” Casey remarks. “But no one wants you there, right?” “What?” There’s a shift in the air; something heavy that pushes on the shoulders, on his chest. When he looks over, Richard still isn’t looking at him. “How’s the kid doin’?” He asks. He hasn’t moved a muscle the entire time they’ve been sitting there. Come to think of it, Casey can’t even recall how they’d crossed paths in the first place or how their conversation even started. In the moment, he’s focused on the question — simple, yet there’s a lump in his throat he can’t seem to speak through. “She’s happy, right? With ‘er mom?” “I guess so?” “N’ everyone else? They good?” “Yes?” “Then what do you need to be there for?” Casey’s eyebrows furrow. It’s not something that hasn’t crossed his mind, evident in several hospital stays throughout his life; not a single day passes where he doesn’t consider that his world and everyone around him might be better if he disappeared. If no one had to deal with him. If he’d been more brave when Sarah told him to go ahead and off himself, everyone could move on the way they were supposed to. Leaning his head back against the tree, he shakes his head. His eyes well up thinking about it, even though he was always far too comfortable with the thought of disappearing. Of being meaningless. His mother didn’t want him, his dad would never even talk to him. No one would have to pick up the pieces of his failed marriage and erratic mental health. To sit there forever and indulge in an old friendship brings him a terrifying amount of comfort. “I don’t really, huh?” “Chin up, kiddo.” “Stop.” Casey laughs a little, wiping his face. He’s not completely sure why he’s crying. “It’s better out here. No one cares what you do.” “Everyone said you were dead,” Casey mutters, out of the blue, something to steady his mind. “You know that?” “Best part is, I don’t even have to hear ‘em say it.” Richard laughs, but it doesn’t really sound like him. It’s ear-piercing, in a pitch that could never come from Richard of all people. When he finally turns his head on Casey, it’s not his face. It’s a woman’s face, a woman’s flowing blonde hair. Comforting blue eyes. Casey pauses, mouth hanging open; he doesn’t know what to say, even think. It has to be a dream, but everything feels too real. The density of the air, the water on his face, the dampness of his clothes. The stubborn, never-ending pain in his chest. “Just stay here. They won’t miss you, but we’ll take care of you.” 0 Comments

02/03/2022 09:54 PM  free. The beach is filled with noise; crashing waves, cars passing by, heavy winds that pick up only when the sun sets. The moon’s barely illuminating the water from behind a thin, seemingly endless veil of clouds. He’s been standing out there since before sunset, legs buried well beneath sand, clothes soaking wet. It’s the first time he’s ever seen the beach in person — the first time he’s seen any body of water larger than the man-made “lake” in the middle of Pahrump’s RV park. Casey has nowhere to go, just his beat-up car parked as far away as possible to avoid any parking fees. Nowhere to go, no one to see, but he still finds himself smiling as the waves crash against his knees. Still takes solace in the surrounding darkness, the numbing coldness, the feeling of knowing he has nothing, and therefore nothing can distress him. It’s all finally behind him, miles and miles away. He’s unreachable; he’s free. “Hey kid, you good?” The voice doesn’t register at first. It’s only barely louder than the water, but quiet enough that he’s not sure if he heard it until it strikes again. “You need some help?” Casey glances over his shoulder at a couple guys walking along the shore, an eyebrow raised. One of them has his arms and neck covered entirely in tattoos, the other a face full of piercings and long hair. “No?” “You’re not cold?” The tattooed guy shouts, more amused than his friend. Casey’s teeth are chattering, but he still shakes his head. Truthfully, he has no idea how long he’s really been out there — long enough that he doesn’t even feel how cold it is. That he doesn’t feel much of anything from the waist down. “S’ kinda late to be sitting out in the water, dude.” Casey starts to make his way back to the shore. “What about you?” “We’re not twelve,” the guy with the long hair remarks; up close, he looks drunk, mouth hanging open a little, permanent smile on his face. Casey scrunches his nose. “I’m not twelve either.” They both laugh; he just stares at them, eyebrows furrowed. “Just looked weird seeing a random kid standing out in the water in the dead of night is all. It’s like midnight, you know that right?” He actually didn’t. He realizes he’s lost all concept of time ever since leaving Reno. “It’s really that weird?” “It’s pretty weird. You’re by yourself?” “Yeah.” They both start walking, but beckon Casey along. “Do you live here?” Casey shrugs, thinking of his car parked out on a random street. “Sorta. Newly, I guess.” “Well, welcome to LA. I’m Randy. This is Tony.” “Sky,” the tattooed guy corrects him. Casey doesn’t waste time trying to work out the dynamic there. They offer him a ride, but he declines. He’s not about to jump into a stranger’s car, especially not soaking wet and sleep-deprived. “Sounds fun, but pass. Thanks for checking on me though.” “Okay, hot-shot.” Randy laughs. “Don’t get lost out here, huh?” 0 Comments

01/23/2022 12:23 PM  savannah. Everyone asked me if I was sure. Asked me, over and over again, if I was really ready, like I could suddenly take it all back. Like they assumed I had it in me to say “you know what, you’re right, I am too young” and walk away. And maybe some people do have that in them, but never me. I was never more sure of anything in my life. Even through all the ups and downs of Sarah’s pregnancy, even through constant arguments and conflict between our families, our baby was the constant. The one thing that got us through it all. The light at the end of a very long, very obnoxious tunnel of questions, speculation and advice we’d never asked for even a single time. I got it; I got that it wasn’t a favorable position to an outsider — a one-night stand, and then a sudden engagement after only a month. A nineteen year-old saying he’s a father-to-be when he’s “just a kid himself.” Of course people were gonna question it, but never me. I never questioned any part of it. I’m not someone who’s ever believed in fate necessarily, but there’s a sensation you get when you know you’re on the right track, I guess — when you know everything’s playing out like it’s supposed to, and all you really need to do is sit back and let it happen. Wait it out and let the good come to you. Sarah and I were clean for the first time since we met, since even before we met. We bought a house near the beach. The band was taking off in every way I’d imagined while daydreaming in my car in the middle of the night. Savannah was the final piece. She was coming even if I wasn’t sure — even if I wasn’t really ready, but I knew I was. When they first let us hold her, I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard, especially not the good tears. It was the most united we ever were, Sarah and I leaned into each other, joining arms to cradle her together, comparing features; my nose, Sarah’s eyes, but I think more noteworthy were the ways she wasn’t like us — innocent, perfect, clean. Whole. Untouched by the roughness we’d both already clawed our way through, and I’d have done anything to keep it that way. I’d have done anything to shield her from it. “She’s really something…” Sarah whispered with her head on my shoulder. I still couldn’t bring myself to speak; I still hadn’t taken my eyes off her. It was probably the exhaustion, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of paranoia about looking away for a single second. Savannah Elise Caverly was the final piece, here whether I was sure or not, but right then, I’d never been more sure of anything. 0 Comments

01/09/2022 02:47 PM  expectation vs. reality tv. 3 CW :: underage drinking, drug addiction a collaboration with myself, jacob and cece! JORDAN: I gotta say, it’s a little weird seeing you guys together finally. JACOB: [ laughs ] It was weird for us, being apart! JORDAN: Do you guys usually do interviews together? CECILIA: We try to as much as possible [ laughs ] And lucky for us a lot of people do ask for us to do them together. Honestly we are pretty much together all the time. Like Jacob said it's weird for us to be apart.  You know he is my best friend and I want to be near him. [ smiles and hugs Jacob's arm ] JORDAN: How did you two meet? JACOB: Her mom was a guest judge on Talent! for one week, and she brought Cece and her little sister to the taping so they could see the set and stuff. After we met we just started hanging out all the time. Sometimes it’d be just the two of us, but sometimes I’d invite her out with me and the cast for after parties and stuff, ‘cuz we used to do that. JORDAN: Adam was usually there, wasn’t he? JACOB: Oh, yeah. Adam Ballinger was born on July 10th, 1983, to television producer Anthony Ballinger and his wife Julia, who had her own career as an actress. By all accounts, Anthony and Julia were great parents, though they did have the tendency to spoil Adam and the rest of their children. This caused problems with Adam in his teenage years, because he was able to get away with just about anything. By the time he was in high school, he had developed a drinking problem. With Anthony and Julia constantly there to bail him out, it didn’t seem like he ever learned much when his drinking would get him into trouble. The only time his father stepped in was in 2008 when Adam had ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. At that time, Anthony was working on a deal with All Star Network to become the new executive producer of several competition reality shows on the network — Talent! of course being one of them. In an attempt to get his son to clean up, he struck a deal with him that he could take over creative direction for Talent! so long as he kept himself in check. Needless to say… Adam didn’t hold up his end of the bargain. JACOB: The very first time I went to one of those cast parties, I invited Cece to come out with us. JACOB: Next thing I know, he starts pouring shots for all of us. CECILIA: Let me tell you, those parties were crazy! It was almost like a scene out of a movie or something with people pouring shots, the music was loud and people talking in corners about God knows what. [ laughs ] JORDAN: How old were all of you? JACOB: Truth be told, most of the cast was anywhere between like…seventeen and twenty. There were only a handful of people over twenty-one, but that didn’t matter to him. If you could see over the table, you were drinking, as far as he was concerned. JORDAN: Did you guys get involved? CECILIA: I had one drink, usually. I never wanted to get drunk because then I couldn't keep an eye on Jacob, Casey and Isaiah. They joke I am the band mom because I am always like on high alert with that kind of thing. JACOB: When Cece was there, I would usually only have one, too. I was trying to make a good impression. [ laughs ] But when I was by myself, it was a lot more. It got to a point where he’d start offering me drinks in the dressing room before we’d start filming ‘cuz I always ‘seemed nervous.’ JACOB: That’s actually when it all started going downhill for me. Once I started to rely on that, I couldn’t stop. CASEY: That’s what he would do, dude, I hated that about him. ISAIAH: Well, he didn’t really like you all that much either. [ laughs ] CASEY: Yeah, no… CASEY: What they don’t tell you about Talent! is there’s like three auditions you do have to go through before you’re ever on TV. And that’s where you do get to meet some of the producers that work on the show, before you actually meet like… the celebrity panel. ISAIAH: Yeah, and they make comments about you the entire time you’re performing. It’s really distracting. I remember after watching Jacob’s — CASEY: Right, because you have to do yours in front of everyone else! ISAIAH: Yeah, exactly. And after watching them kind’a talk all the way through Jacob’s, I remember being almost like — pissed. I was like, ‘did they really do that to a fifteen year old kid?’ CASEY: I didn’t want them to do that to me. CASEY: When I went up there to perform, I noticed they didn’t say anything really during mine. Or like… someone sitting there wouldn’t really LET Adam chime in and say anything. And I’m like ‘well, this is pretty weird,’ you know? The first person to say anything after I was done was that same girl — the one that wouldn’t let Adam interrupt me? It turns out, that was Adam’s wife. JORDAN: Was her crush subtle? ISAIAH: Not at ALL. [ laughs ] CASEY: To me, it was. But after we left the show, and were kinda doing our own thing, she came up again and Isaiah was like ‘you know she had the biggest crush on you, right?’ I really had no idea. ISAIAH: It set off the entire mood for the way Adam and Casey’s relationship ended up going. CASEY: Adam was there that night, when they kicked me off. He was a part of the big ‘what to do with Casey’ meeting. He didn’t do anything besides that. I really thought I was about to die, and no one did anything. JORDAN: What happened that night? I know fans were really thrown off by the whole thing. CASEY: Yeah, the way they played it off on TV was super weird. Obviously they cut a lot of what actually happened out, but I can remember people being like ‘hey, shut the camera off, he’s gonna pass out.’ Basically, what happened was like… here I am, living in my car, kinda fending for myself. I haven’t eaten in days, right? And on top of that, I’ve not only been doing drugs and drinking with my friends, but every time I come to staff parties or whatever, I do it even more. I think my body just kinda had enough, it really just gave out. I remember waking up that day being like ‘I don’t know how I’m even gonna get to the studio’ and by the time I did get there, I just collapsed in the hallway in front of everyone. They let me off for that night and the next night was when they sent me home. JORDAN: Do you regret it? CASEY: Oh yeah, of course. You never wanna be ‘that guy’ but I think I more regret how I handled it in the moment. They weren’t rude about it at all, it was an obvious reason, but I totally went off on them. I wish I hadn’t done that, even though Byron and I are obviously okay now. JORDAN: Went off on them? [ laughs ] CASEY: Yeah, like, full on yelling. They asked me to perform one final time and I totally lost it and kinda stormed out. JORDAN: So, how did they rationalize that when they were giving your younger brother alcohol? [ laughs ] JACOB: Oh, they didn’t care as long as you weren’t interrupting the show. Casey interrupted the show, so... CASEY: I was no longer profitable. Since the early seasons of Talent!, the judging panel has been a revolving door of big-name celebrities. One thing remained constant though, was the presence of Byron James. The legendary producer who instantly became the voice of reason against all the chaos in Talent!. JACOB: It’s so surreal, meeting someone you’ve admired ever since you first got into music, you know? CASEY: He helped me so much. It’s really cliche, but I really feel like Byron is kinda the father figure I never really had, you know? He was the only person besides these two that I really trusted on the show. CASEY: It’s really cliche, but I really feel like Byron is kinda the father figure I never really had, you know? He was the only person besides these two that I really trusted on the show. BYRON: Hi, I’m Byron James, I’m the owner of Absolute Records. I’ve worked with every act from Gadget — BYRON: To of course Katie and Andrew Fletcher — BYRON: I’ve worked with Allison Ryder, Alexa Cole, Dash Compton… JORDAN: So you’ve worked with a little bit of everybody. [ laughs ] BYRON: A little bit of everybody, yeah. [ laughs ] When you work in the industry for a long time, you see pretty much no shortage of talent, but I will say… when I met Casey, Isaiah, and Jacob, I really was blown away. JORDAN: What was your first impressions — I mean obviously, you met them all kind of separately, so what was that like? BYRON: You know, the first thing I noticed about Casey is… even though it was kind of evident he was a bit more unseasoned, there was this passion for the art and dedication to — not necessarily delivering the most technically sound performance, but a performance we would never forget because there was just so much heart behind it. You know, you can’t really ‘teach’ someone to LOVE what they’re doing that much. You can’t teach them to eat, live, and breathe music. That’s something special to find, and I saw it right away in Casey. BYRON: With Jacob, it was a totally different story. You could tell he had a very strong technical base. I knew pretty quickly that was someone who practiced every day, with a teacher or a vocal coach, but there was still uh…. you know, an evident lack of experience in terms of performing in front of large audiences. What captivated me about his very first performance was just that there was this vulnerability, and sort of this truthfulness when he sang. It wasn’t, you know like watching ‘an act,’ it was like watching someone really open themselves up to the world and at such a young age, that’s so hard to do. BYRON: Isaiah was… well, he was very, VERY collected when he first stepped foot on that stage. Right away, he started out by saying ‘my little brothers were just up here,’ and that sort of broke the ice between him and the judges. He had his guitar, and there was just no such thing as nerves, for him. You could tell he had just done it all before. And his voice was just — it’s not a tone you really hear a lot anymore, especially in young artists like that. JORDAN: Would you say the unfair treatment of Casey, Jacob, and then eventually, Isaiah, were kind of the catalysts for you eventually leaving the show? BYRON: That was part of it, yeah. You know, I signed on to do the show when it was under totally different management. Before Ballinger struck up a deal with the network, it was being run by Beverly Costa, and her husband Isaac. And they really DID want to deliver something totally different than what was out there — they didn’t want to be ANOTHER American Idol, or ANOTHER Voice… they wanted to be something new that actually set up artists for success. And the Ballingers didn’t care the same way that Beverly did. The show was going pretty well but obviously, without a huge reliance on ratings, it made sense to replace them I guess, from a… marketing standpoint. And from my perspective, at this point, I was doing something I really loved. I LOVED being a mentor to all of these up and coming artists, and giving them advice they could actually take with them. So I agreed to stay on when the Ballingers took over. I didn’t know what I was getting into… and I think about it every day. JORDAN: So what WOULD you say was the final straw, when it came to you and Talent!? BYRON: Pretty much since the start of their first season. [ laughs ] But I had signed a contract, and I was going to try and make the most of it by doing what I did best, and that was helping people. I would say it was probably when Casey got kicked off that I realized, ‘Okay… this isn’t the show I signed up for.’ I’ll always be thankful for the experience Talent! started out as, but now, I’m much happier getting to work with some of the greatest musicians I’ve ever met. NEXT WEEK ON EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY TV: JORDAN: So, how would you say it all affected your love life, and your relationship together? CECILIA: He would have never started drinking if it wasn’t for that production team. And it was hard for us… it really was. We get a little bit more personal as we uncover just how badly certain members of the band began to spiral after the show. JORDAN: So, you were in a pretty vulnerable place? CASEY: I really didn’t even think I’d make it to this point to be honest you. We’ll see you guys next time on The Story of 24 Times Rock: Expectation vs. Reality TV! 0 Comments

01/09/2022 02:47 PM  hurdles. byron's POV. He’s been doing this so long, it’s almost monotonous after awhile; many aspiring contestants even bring the same songs to the table, but occasionally, a few really special ones will stand out. Whether they stand out in a good way or a bad way is always up in the air, but it’s a part of the job; Byron doesn’t think anyone is incapable, just inexperienced. If the drive is there, that’s what’s important as far as he’s concerned. When Casey Caverly walks through the door, he can see that drive, the fire that comes with many years of being knocked down and pulling yourself back up. The fire that comes when the odds are stacked against you. Troubled kid, living in his car, rolling in with ripped up clothes and a split in his lower lip. According to the first round of notes, he’d admitted to a drunken fight — an interesting admission for an eighteen year-old kid, but he’d apparently impressed the panel so much with his performance that they’d looked past it. For that reason, he chooses to look past it too. “Good morning.” He breaks the ice as Casey comes to stand in the middle of the platform. Second round auditions are a little bigger than the conference rooms, a little more dressed up, but still not the real deal. By the look on the kid’s face, it’s still a jarring change, his eyes darting back and forth to take everything in. “Casey, right?” He prods. Casey had been distracted with his guitar strap, but suddenly becomes aware of himself, shaking his head as he comes up to the mic stand. “Uh, yeah — yes. Awesome meeting you.” He doesn’t look like he’s ever been on a stage before, the way he shuffles around, tries to busy his hands. That’ll be his biggest hurdle; stage fright. “Thanks for coming. The first panel was very impressed with you — you played your own song, is that right?” He’s seen the videos already, but Byron likes to give everyone a chance to talk about themselves. Casey laughs a little, then rolls his eyes, as if he regrets the decision, running his fingers through his hair. “Ch'yeah. I’m actually surprised you’re seeing me right now, now that you say that,” he jokes. “Oh?” The other judges look around at each other, but Byron remains focused on Casey. “You know, they really held you in high regard, Casey Caverly, and so do we because of that. We believe in you. You have to believe in you too or you won’t make it very far here.” Casey’s eyes shoot open, but not in an affronted way nor a fearful way. He seems surprised, confused even; head tipped to the side, eyebrows knit together. Almost like no one’s ever told him that before. That’ll be his second biggest hurdle. Byron finally offers a smile. “Keep that chin up, okay? Let’s hear what you can do. As if he’s finally been kicked into high gear, he clears his throat and gets himself more settled on the stage. When it comes to taking advice, he looks more like he’s been scolded than reassured, but when he makes it back to the mic stand, he’s finally smiling too. “Thank you. Truly.” 0 Comments

12/28/2021 09:10 PM  happy holidays. Holidays in the Caverly household have only ever ended in disaster — to the point that Casey and Jennifer have traditionally avoided them. They’ve spent the last several as far apart from each other as humanly possible, but Jennifer had jumped at the chance to try the festive thing again when Allan invited them up to his parents’ cabin in the mountains. Casey isn’t as accepting of it. At dinner, he holds stubbornly to his pact of complete silence, watching the unnerving cheeriness, listening with a twitching eye and a locked jaw to obligatory pleasantries and fake stories; compliments are exchanged in a desperate attempt to see normal, a mask of kindness ( kindness toward him especially ) that’ll be tossed aside as soon as they get back home. The final straw is Allan bragging about his piano playing. A nice touch — almost, almost genuine, but Casey knows better and isn’t about to play along. “Maybe you can play for us after dinner?” Though the suggestion’s innocent enough coming from Allan’s mother, he’s well past pretending to be pleasant. He rolls his eyes and scoots his chair out. “Yeah right. He’s never even heard me play, for the record. For all he knows, I totally suck.” “Casey.” Jennifer drops the act finally, reaching over to pinch Casey’s arm — a warning shot. “Am I wrong?” “Casey, sit down right now, I’m not kidding.” “No!” “Hey!” Allan slams a hand down on the table. “I won’t have you disrespect my family like this, you got it? Sit down.” It takes no time for things to escalate, and in between the yelling, Allan’s mother’s begging them all to settle down while his father sits wide-eyed in silence. The squabble ultimately results in a plate of food smashed against the ground, Jennifer broken down in tears while Casey runs for the front door. He makes it, but not without Allan following him. Allan latches onto his arm and drags him the rest of the way out the door, shoving him a few steps back once they’re out on the porch. Casey slips on the ice coating the deck and stumbles down to his knees, but his stony expression never wavers. Sharpened stare, teeth grit together. “What’sa matter, kid, you think you’re too cool to be here? Huh? You may be able to get away with this sh*t at home, but not here, you f***in’ brat, you understand? Now get up, walk back in there and say you’re sorry to my parents and your mother, then get the Hell upstairs where we don’t have to deal with you.” Casey says nothing, just leers at him from his spot on the ground. “You hearin’ me?” Allan snaps at him. He still doesn’t budge, even when Allan steps forward — even with a fist risen to him, though a connection’s never made, and a voice from behind stops everything almost instantly. Allan’s mother. “Allan, go inside, please.” “What, you’re just gonna let ‘im —.” “Allan… please.” It’s the only time Casey’s ever seen Allan look any kind of soft; it’s the only time he’s ever seen him give up the reigns. Casey isn’t sure what to expect of his mother as she comes toward him. Admittedly, he hadn’t bothered to get to know her at all and can’t even remember her name. She reaches to start helping him up. “Come inside, okay? It’s way too cold to be out here.” Casey glances at the front door. Allan and his dad are yelling inside as they clean up. Casey wants to think she’s caught in the middle like he is, but he still can’t bring himself to back down entirely in case she isn’t. “I'm not sitting back down with them. And I’m really not playing piano.” 0 Comments

Previous123456789101112Next

View All Posts