12/26/2020 10:17 PM  AC 010 AC 010! Nan will always be my favorite holiday memory Nan had always been my favorite person, such a wonderful woman with such a big gracious heart. My fathers mother, I aspired to be so much as a child for she was a story teller. She would speak of adventures, things she had witnessed, things she had seen...all the wonders the world had to offer out side of the walls of the bloody mansion that entrapped the young me. I was always in a trance as she'd narrate her own stories, my eyes following her lips as the sound of her voice would make waves within the canals of my ears and scratching at my mind with ideas of my own! Once my father had finally had the freedom on the holidays to take me out and see the world every year we started a new tradition of flying to see my nan every year. She lived in California but more so up in the mountains in the northern California area so there was still snow on the ground. Snow is my favorite part of Christmas. Snow and fireplaces. The aesthetic excites me, the thought of Christmas definitely fills my heart. The first time I met my Nan I was nine years old and she treated me like she'd never missed a day in my life. Christmas was also Nan's favorite holiday. Trust me...this woman should've been Mrs. Claus. The house was decorated in yule tide JOY, it was amusing seeing her rosey red cheeks even rosier because she was just the happiest person you could ever have met. She loved everything and it was really a breath of fresh air since the vibe in the house I lived in was stale and smelled like death. Nan had a few traditions of her own, she would tell a story, sing while papa would play the piano and then she would serve the most delicious pumpkin pie made entirely from scratch which was an age old family recipe making it taste that much better. It wouldn't be Christmas without Nan's pie. She always made extra so I could bring some home with me. My last Christmas with Nan was when I was 22 and I miss her so much. Gran is passed now, cancer took her away from us but I'll never forget the woman who made me laugh more than anyone ever has, made me curious about life and most of all made me want to live life. Nan will always be my favorite holiday memory. 0 Comments

11/05/2020 11:34 PM  AC #3 DEAR DIARY, Dear Diary, I wouldn't call this Pennsylvania trip a vacation, it almost felt like a business trip. Same sh*t, different day and different location. That's all it was, how could it be anything different. I can't seem to take ten feet out of my front door before someones severed limb is on my lawn. I have to live that life. WE have to live that life and why? What did we do but live?...Every day tormented all because what? After this trip, I'm more confused than ever. I can handle a lot of things, I have handled a lot of things. One thing that I can't even think to go through again...placing a loved ones body BACK into a hole in the ground after already doing so. It takes something from you. A part of your humanity that you'll never get back. Hardening your core because if it didn't you'd lose your mind. It's the kind of thing that could really mess up someones head that was normal. I'm not normal. I'm convinced that Giorgina is never going to stop until she's satisfied with whatever she's set off to do and that's what makes her the most dangerous. For now though, I have so much more to worry about. This week I've been extra sensitive in almost every way possible, I've done my best to hide myself from the group so I could be left alone with my thoughts. There's only one thing I could think would be the reason for any symptoms I've had. I'm pregnant...but I'm so scared to validate that. What would Freya say? What kind of mother am I going to be?...but I think to myself that this child is an extension of me and something that I've always dreamed of having. Without letting the negatives get to me and cooping myself up in my room for the last day, I've managed to smile for the first time this entire trip at the thought of a little bit of happiness. I feel like I deserve that much. Yours Always, Jayne 0 Comments

10/07/2020 06:17 PM  Task #2 Secret   When Jayne was a teenager, she lived in the Morcelli household. She was garenteed safety so she had no worries in the world. One night she was craving some ice cream and had gone downstairs to the kitchen where 5 of Stefano's men sat at the table playing cards and smoking cigars. Smiling at the men politely, she quickly grabbed her ice cream and when she shut the freezer one of them stood right in front of her. The look on his face was terrorizing in itself but as he lunged at her, he covered her mouth so she couldnt scream. The other men rushing at her carried her to the table, undressing her just enough to expose her young soft skin. The first man smiled at her, her body panicking underneath the clammy rough hands that held her down. Tears fell from her eyes as she pleaded with them to let her go, that she wouldnt tell a soul but her words were interrupted by ducttape and the searing pain of burning ashes into her skin. She arched her back, squirming in their grasps. Some got a little more handsy than others but regardless she was being assaulted. Once the man burned her at least 20 plus times. He leaned down over her face, meeting her gaze with his sinister smile. "You be good and we won't see eachother again like this, right darlin'?" Her body shivered and all she could think to do is nod her head. He placed a finger between his lips as if to tell her to be quiet, kissed the ducttape then removed it. The men then walked out of the room, leaving Jayne violated and shaking from the pain that she had endured. 0 Comments

10/02/2020 04:10 PM  Dear Diary (Narrative) Dear Diary,   "Be strong." my father would tell me with every tear I've cried. There was no room for weakness, no room for boys, no room to be a child. There was danger all around because of my fathers choice of employment, so of course why would I have a normal childhood? A childhood where my parents loved me and just wanted me happy and healthy. Nope, my mother is god-knows-where and my father is too busy protecting a family that isn't his own and you wonder why I am the way that I am. But because I feel, because my heart bleeds, I'm weak...and boy was my father ever right! If there was ever a wish I could have granted it would be to go back in time to those blissful days with the one I cared about most. Sure, our time together wasn't log but it was the realist love I'd ever felt. Everyone has their opinions but everyone fall in love differently and I dont even regret the quickness in which our relationship developed. I wish I could describe the feeling... Have you ever spun around in circles and when you stopped you were stumbling and on the verge of falling...thats what this love felt like and I was so excited to experience it. I was in it for the long haul and so was he...or so I thought.   We split, everyone knows and there's not a day that I don't wish I could crawl into a hole. With every week passing the deeper the lonliness sets in, the darker the world seems to get. Of course I wouldn't tell anyone that, why would I? Every gathering filled with yet again another broken promise, every drink filling a temporary statisfaction within me. For a moment I could close my eyes, letting the liquid burn as it slithered down like a snake with it's eyes on sin. But for that moment the darkness, the pain, every aching memory are blacked out. But daddy was right...I need to be strong. I need to never let a man make me feel less than how I felt when I met him. I was okay before and I'll be okay after. Moving on is going to be hard but I'm going to do it for me. I'm going to be strong, for me. I need to be the woman I dreamt myself to be because that's what I deserve. So here's to a new beginning, a new mindset, and well a new me. Love, Jayne Ophelia Waylon 0 Comments

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