Detox Diaries of The Big Bad Wolf
Sometimes people can’t help but live up to the sh*t people always tell them. At some point they start to believe it. For Drew it was his father always telling him he was a disappointment. A f*** up. The young Italian just couldn’t help but ruin all the good things in his life. Over and over again. It had been going well for a long time. The Grande Casino was thriving and when he met Penelope his life was complete, but like everything in his life… He just had to mess it up.
It had been two weeks since Pen’s detox and his slip-up. Drew was finally adjusting to his days in rehab, the withdrawals had became less and he was even participating in the group counsel. The counselor turned to Drew, who was sitting there with his hands on his thighs, rubbing his sweaty palms over his jeans over and over. “Are you ready to tell us why you are here?” The counselor asked. “Uhh… yeah” he felt the pressure of the group. Closing his eyes for a moment as he thought of where to start.
Every time he closed his eyes he could see Pen’s fearful eyes as her lips became blue, desperately looking and grabbing around for something that could help to get him off of her. Wondering how he could’ve come to the point to do something like that to someone he loved so intensely. “I f***ed up badly…” he said as he began to tell what happened.
"You aren't going anywhere" he growled as he narrowed his eyes. "You can be sick of me all you want, but you are not leaving this f***ing house. You are m-" but he stopped talking once her spit ended on his cheek, his hand moved up to wipe her spit of his face with the back of his hand. He seemed surprisingly calm when inside of him it felt like war. Darkness, chaos and hatred ran through his veins and he snapped as soon as she said she was going to laugh at his grave. Taking her arm, he swung her around and smashed her into the closet she had wanted so badly. "You f***ing bitch!" his voice was so loud that the whole neighborhood must've heard. "I'm going to f***ing kill you" his voice hysterical as he walked closer again, grabbing her hair and pulling her up at it. "You are nothing without me" his other hand slapped her face hard as the other kept holding onto her hair to keep her in position. "If you think you can leave The Big Bad Wolf and go on with your miserable life then think again because you are not leaving this house." It was black before his eyes, his breathing heavily as he looked at her and then grabbed her throat with two hands. Choking her. He wasn't out of control anymore, he had completely lost it. Thank god his sister in law and mother were in the house.
The counselor nodded softly when Drew stopped talking. “Are you okay? Do you want to continue another time.” It was hard to speak about what happened. For days he had been numb, avoiding every thought of Penelope. He couldn’t face the damage he had caused. His mind slipping back to what he had done. Another flashback of the other night flooded his mind as he shook his head no and continued to talk about what happened.
Pen was on the floor gasping for air, Valerie was checking on her and flinched when she saw the bruises already beginning to form on her face. Her head turned to glare at Drew “If you want to be a drug addict, fine. If you want to be an unfaithful man, whatever. But you f***ing beat her! Look at her face!” Penelope got up and rushed into the bathroom before slamming and locking the door. His mother grabbed his chin to make him look at her, he turned his head to face her "Is that true Drew? Have you been unfaithful?" he recognized that look in her eyes, the look of disgust and disappointment. The look all women inside the room gave his father had given him many times. "What the f*** is wrong with you? I didn't raise you like this" she yelled at him and again she smacked his head. She wasn't a woman that would yell or curse. Now she was doing both.
It were the moments before he had run out of their house in Newark, fled from the horrible things he had done. Fled for the bruised and bleeding face of the woman he loved so deeply. He was to weak to face the truth. The truth Penelope had been saying for weeks but he was too proud to acknowledge. “My fiancé had tried a lot to take care of me, saying I had changed and we used to do drugs together, it was part of our life but I started to use it to cope with all the stress of my casino and the new hotel I am building. The drugs had taken over my life and I lost control.” Biting down on his lower lip, he crossed it arms. “So I took her car and a bottle of whiskey and fled out of the house. I woke up the next morning at my best friend’s house.”
Drew woke up the next morning on a couch he remembered. Thankfully this time he didn’t wake up next to a stranger like days ago. His head was pounding and as he sat up, still wearing the clothes from last night, Nova came walking into the living room. "Morning idiot" she said as she sat across from him, sighing loudly. Drew rubbed his forehead "I really messed up this time didn't I?" Nova nodded "well messing up is an understatement, you my friend, f***ed up badly. Your mother called to ask where you were and told me everything" she took a sip of her coffee and her eyes widened "Not much later you showed up here and well... you pretty much crashed on the couch immediately." He got up and went to get himself a glass of water. "What should I do now?" Nova scowled "are you serious? Go apologize, and not that half ass kind of apology like you always do. A real one." Drew sat on the couch and took a sip of his water, thinking about it. Apologizing wasn't his best quality, he really sucked at it. But this time he f***ed up badly, he hated himself for what he did and he could still picture Pen's fearful eyes in his mind.
Everyone in the room was quiet. Listening to all he had to say. They probably weren’t used to a story that could come straight out of a drama movie. “So what happened next?” Drew licked his lips and leaned back in his chair. I went home to apologize…”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Drew. I don’t have some fix all solution. You haven’t been you for a while. I barely know who I was engaged to anymore.” Pen said as they stood in their basement, she had been working out. Punching a punch bag as Drew had walked in. “Truth is, I didn’t detox because you grabbed me. I detoxed because I was scared to look like you. Your eyes are hollow, you twitch and shake like an addict and you’re so skinny. You’re not strong like you used to be. You said you can’t be sober, which is fine. You’re an adult, but I can’t live with your coke rage.” She paused for a moment. “I talked to a lawyer today about how we can split everything. The house, Bond, luckily most of our money is separate. I’ll make sure you get everything you deserve and more. Even pay you out more for Silver Bullet if you want that.”
One of the older woman in his group gasped. “Man… she must’ve been really done with your ass.” Drew nodded “yeah… honestly the woman I fell in love with would’ve been done with me a long time ago. She would’ve thrown a knife at my head, or put a gun to it” he stopped talking when he saw eyes widen when he spoke about guns and knives. Realizing not everyone found them normal.. “She was done fighting for me and our relationship.“ Never in his life had he begged a girl to stay, no girl ever meant anything to him. Pen on the other hand wasn't just in his life, she was his life. He couldn't live without her and he'd beg, get on his knees and do whatever it would take to get her back. A younger girl jumped in “did you guys break up?”
Pen started to pound her fists into the punching bag again before she fell to the floor. Covering her face as she let out a sob. When she looked up at him, she stared for a couple of seconds. “When I’m scared or sad, you’re the arms I want wrapped around me. Yet you’re miles away. You say you will do anything but you can’t even be with me without getting drunk or high. I thought having it all meant successful businesses and a big house. This house is f***ing empty and depressing when there’s no love or happiness here.” Watching her punch that bag, he wanted to move closer but his feet didn't move. It felt like he was nailed to that ground. Finally he managed to move, sitting down on his knees in front of her, he looked at her. His hand slowly moved to her face, shaking as it came closer, taking her face gently in his hands. "I want to fill this house with love and happiness, with laughter and a couple of kids. I want all that with you. You are my home Pen" Taking a deep breath, he licked his lips again. "I'll go to rehab. Get clean and give you everything you deserve. Please don’t talk about splitting everything... Like this is the end. I’ll do everything to make things better. To make you forgive what I did."
Drew took a deep breath and shrugged “and here we are now.”