the ghost of you.
My heart has been heavy with the sadness you left in your absence, and it attempts to soak up the sorrow that seeps through my bones to protect myself from pain that’s demanded to be felt.
Every. F***ing. Day.
But it no longer works . . . I still feel it — every time someone says your name, every time I fall asleep in an empty bed, every time I wake up alone. It’s like a monster, manifesting every time your memory crosses my mind.
The ghost of the love we once shared.
The ghost of what could have been.
The ghost of what will never be.
The ghost of YOU.
Most days, I welcome it with open arms.
I let it wrap itself around me, devour me whole and make me feel what once was. Make me feel the love that I've so desperately tried to forget. But thats the thing - I couldn’t forget. No matter how many times I've pleaded with a higher power that could take this pain away, I couldn’t forget it.
I couldn't forget you.
Months have passed since I've last seen your face, and most days I wonder if I'd even recognize it should you ever find your way back home, or if the love we had will still be there. If it'll claw at our skin every time we ignore the undeniable, just waiting for us to fall into the hands of fate.
I know I should stop wondering . . . but there was never a doubt in my mind that it was always you . . .
It will always be you.