just a sucker with no self esteem

"Mr.Munson, I've had two teachers complain about you this week." Ms.Kelley lifted her eyes from his chart, revealing a deep frown. Eddie fidgeted slightly in his seat, a blank stare in return. How many times this year would he be called into this damn office, "After a while, complaints turn into consequences and  the next step is suspension. What is going on? Let's talk this out."  A smirk played on Eddie's lips and he stood up, wandering around Ms.Kelley's office idly.

"What do you mean, 'what's going on?'" his hand brushed against stacks of books, files, paperwork, never once meeting the counselor's gaze. 

Ms.Kelley scribbled down a couple notes on his chart, "Look, Eddie, I know you're hurting. It's been a rough couple of years for you, and I'm here to help, but if you want to graduate-" Eddie spun around quickly, slamming his hands down onto her desk causing her to jump slightly in her seat. 

"You know that I'm hurting? I witnessed my mom get murdered by my drug addicted dad a year ago. Where were you then? Where was anyone my freshman year when I missed more school than any other year because my mom didn't want anyone to see what my dad was capable of?" he quirked his head to the side almost mocking her intelligence, his gaze so intense she looked away, "No one helped me my whole life and I don't expect any help now." his voice hitched slightly, and he slowly lowered himself into the seat across from her.

There was a silence that filled the room, the counselor writing notes fervently, her eyes slightly glassy. There was a slight shift when Ms.Kelley cleared her throat and resumed eye contact with him, "You've been through a lot, instead of raising our voices, tell me why you've been acting out in class. You were caught fighting with Jason-" 

Eddie huffed a laugh and leaned back in his chair, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette, however, the look on Ms.Kelley's face made him think twice, so instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets, "He's a prick, what can I say?" This answer hadn't sufficed, and more notes were written onto his chart, "Can I go now? What's the f***in' point of this?" 

"The point is you not getting suspended for acting out. The point is you getting to walk across that stage this year and graduating. Is that not clear enough for you?" She pursed her lips and Eddie winced slightly at her words, "I'm on your side." 

Eddie stood from his seat, "I have a hard time believing anyone is ever on my side. Forgive me for not trusting the people who f***ed me over for years when I needed help the most." he glared in her direction, but felt defeated. There was no point in arguing or prolonging this conversation. The verdict was in - he was the f*** up, he was supposed to be over everything he'd ever been through. He was supposed to conform, be less like himself and more like Jason Carver. Toss a football around, throw a ball into a laundry basket, ya know, normal people stuff. 

"I've seen Chrissy Cunningham around you an awful lot lately. It looks like she's on your side, Mr.Munson." Eddie paused, his brown eyes softening at the mention of Chrissy. Chrissy Cunningham, his biggest weakness, his soft spot, and yet, his biggest strength, "Don't give up. We'll leave it at that. Please don't stop trying."

With a slow nod, he turned and left the counselor's office, his smile hidden by his messy curls.