velvet underground

free fallin'

feburary 24th, 2003
trigger warnings; drugs & overdose

Today had started out a normal day for Stevie, a rare day where she could just stay at home and do absolutely nothing, but she doesn't know how to do anything of that nature. Since she has a few days off Fleetwood Mac's Say You Will tour, she decided to come home to Phoenix so she could work on some of the new album -- whenever it decides to come together the way she desires for it to. Today had started off a normal day for Stevie, her taking a break from writing to do some cleaning.

Today had started off normal, that was until Tom Petty called and said he was getting on a plane to come and see her because this "isn't news she should receive on the phone"

From the moment she hung up the phone with him a couple of hours ago, her mind was racing about what it could be. Was he sick? Did something happen with Annakim or Adria? She'd hope if one of them was in the hospital he would just tell her to fly out to Los Angeles instead of flying to Phoenix to tell her. Did he and Dana get a divorce? Did she do something? There was a reason that Stevie didn't like Dana, and she hasn't figured out since they've been married what it is -- maybe something happened and Tom is telling Stevie privately and away from LA so Stevie doesn't go off on Dana? But, the feeling Stevie has had in the pit of her stomach is saying it's worse than any of that -- and there are only a few things that are worse than anything she thought before.

Attempting to keep herself busy by rearranging things in her kitchen, her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as soon as she heard the doorbell go off. Stevie went to go open the door as her mind kept racing. If something happened to one of Tom's girls she'll lose her mind, hell if something happened to Tom she'll lose her mind. It was entirely too close with Tom right before he went to rehab for his heroin addiction, she couldn't handle him coming to tell her he has a terminal illness or worse, he relapsed.

As soon as she opened the door and saw Tom's face, saw the hurt and sadness in his eyes, the redness from him not sleeping she knew it was bad. She knew it was something that was going to affect her probably just as much as it did him. "The kids are fine, before I say anything else" Stevie let out a relieved sigh, moving over so Tom could walk in as she shut the door behind him. Knowing the girls were okay was a sigh of relief, but now her biggest fear was that something is going on with him. She almost lost him with the heroin, she couldn't lose him to anything else.

"Okay, what's going on then?"

"Howie..." Stevie's heart sunk, all Tom had to say was his name for Stevie to realize what had happened. The fight that Stevie and Tom had that eventually convinced Tom to go to rehab for the heroin, Stevie brought up Howie and how she knew he was too far gone and she wasn't going to stand around and let him get to that point. "I got the phone call a couple of hours ago, I called and told the band but I knew, given how close you and Howie were, I couldn't tell you over the phone..." Stevie's heart shattered for Howie, he was one of Tom's dearest friends, a former Heartbreaker, and one of the few people Tom felt wanted to be around him for Tom Petty the person and not Tom Petty the rockstar.

"Oh, honey.." Stevie wrapped her arms around his neck, Tom burying his face in the nuzzle of her neck as she tried to rub his back to calm him down. She knew nothing she could say or do would ease the pain he was going through, and she knows him well enough to know that the reality of he could've been Howie was sitting in. She also knows how he's blaming himself because he's going to feel he didn't do enough to try to save him. "Don't do that. I can feel it. Don't blame yourself for this."

"How can I not, Steph? I should've dragged him with me to rehab, I should've done an intervention with you and the band, I should've stopped f***ing buying the sh*t and going to his house to do it with him.." His body shook as she knew he was trying to keep his emotions intact, Stevie felt a few tears rolling down her cheeks as she continued to rub his back to try to ease his mind. "It could've been me, it should've be -"

"Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare say it should've been you.." Stevie's voice cracked as she spoke, pulling away so she could look at him, her eyes saying more than her voice ever could. "It shouldn't have been either one of you, and Tom if I thought he would've listened like I eventually got you to listen, then we would've begged him. But, he was too far gone, Mike and I had a whole conversation at your Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction with the band about it. This isn't on you, don't blame yourself, please?"

"He just wanted to be free for a while, free from the world and its heartaches, I guess at least he got what he wanted".
 

stephanie 'stevie' nicks-petty