 |
stop
stopmay 12th, 2022
trigger warning: infant loss and current eventswww.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockx
She can never just stop.
For almost 50 years of her life, Stevie Nicks has put the world's needs before her own. Whether it was Lindsey, or Tom, or Fleetwood Mac in general, everyone else's needs were before hers and that's just how it had always been. When the kids called she answered, no matter if it was Will or the girls, or Tom's three girls, Kenny or anyone else that looked at her in that light, she always answered and dropped everything she could to do anything and everything for them because she never wanted them to experience being left in the dust for anything.
But, eventually, she just needed to stop for a second.
Even when the world was shut down, Stevie was still working. Between working with Maroon 5 and Elton John while also trying to get everything moving on the television deal for Rhiannon finally, Stevie never stopped working. When the world came to an almost halt and only the necessities were open and the most needed people in the world were the ones working, Stevie Nicks stayed within the walls of her house and did what she did best - work and take care of the world the best she could.
But, right now she just needed to stop and breathe.
The text from her assistant, Karen, as she got off the plane in Phoenix caught her off guard - Lindsey somehow caught the same virus she begged him to cancel his tour when they were married and she was both heartbroken and fear-ridden, No matter the personal issues between the two, he was still one of the most talented men she's ever met, and she knew how much he both wanted and needed to get back on stage -- much like she was. And, now that she's two shows into this little tour she's doing, finding out someone who felt the same way she did about being on stage contacted something that could be deadly scared her -- especially considering she and her husband were just talking about sharing a stage once more,
But, it wasn't until she texted Karen back and noticed the day that she knew her mind would force her to stop, even if it just was for a moment,
She was silent on the way home, Tom trying to constantly get her to talk or laugh, anything to just snap her out of the almost trance she was in. It wasn't until they got home and she said she just needed a moment did he stop, she grabbed her phone, a lighter and a joint off the bedside table in the bedroom as she walked down the hallway to a room she hasn't been in a little while. She walked by the room Christine stayed in when she first moved back to the States, she walked by a room that has a bunch of Tom's stuff that they need to still unpack and went to the room at the end of the hall. Before she opened it, she felt a chill go down her spine before slowly opening the door and walking in.
The room was mostly empty, a few boxes scattered around the small room but Stevie's eyes focused on the chair with a small box sitting in front of it. Placing the joint in her mouth, Stevie brought the lighter up to the other end to light it, taking a few quick totes off it to ensure it was lit until she put on a song to listen to - You Don't Know How It Feels, before sitting down in the chair and bending down to grab the small box off the ground.
She didn't even have to open it as she felt her mind just halt everything to a stop. She wasn't worried about her ex-husband, or her show Saturday. She wasn't worried about Tom being upset she wasn't truly talking about it, she just let her mind play what Tuesday should've been - her birthday.
"I miss you.." Stevie whispered, letting out a few coughs from her joint as she didn't even open the box, her red fingernails gently tapping on the side. She didn't need to open it to see the harsh reminders of what she's lived with for the past almost twenty-five years. The few items that she treasured it was all she had - including the terrible piece of paper that she had to get when she was gone. "I felt you as I walked in, that familiar chill down my spine whenever I come back here. My little room that no one really comes into, that little room that the few remaining items I have of you stay. It's not that I don't want you in the bedroom, it's just...I don't want anything to happen again.." Stevie's voice broke as she spoke, taking her free hand and pulling the joint out of her mouth to let a few coughs escape her lips.
Sitting there in silence for a few moments made her just stop for a minute.
She remained silent until she finished the joint, bending down and putting out the roach on the bottom of her shoe before bringing the box up to her lips. Placing a soft kiss, stains from the previous years' kisses filled the off-black box, it obviously faded from the years it's been in use, before she placed it back down in the floor of the room. Standing up, Stevie grabbed her phone and turned on her camera, looking into it to ensure none of the residue makeup she had from last night's show in Colorado stained her cheeks from when she was crying. Deep down, she knew Tom knew why she was coming back here and why she was just upset at the moment.
But, she just needed to stop for a moment and grieve, because no amount of work could hide nor make her forget what was coming up.you don't know how it feels to be me.
0 Comments
|
