Diary Entry 19 - 09/19

September 19^th 2021.

Dear Diary,
It is the last day of the trip today. It is a day at sea. I am sitting on my balcony looking out at the water as I write this. I think I might check out the casino one last time, and the spa for some final relaxation. I am meeting up with Avery for some lunch; I don’t know who else is going to join us. But today should be a nice last day of the trip. Zachary is amazing for organising this trip for us; I don’t think we will ever be able to repay him. It has been a wonderful and unforgettable experience. I have really enjoyed my time on this trip. I really needed this trip to recharge my batteries, and escape my life for a little bit. I truly needed this.

But now as I sit in my cabin I cannot help but feel some sadness. It is my… it would have been my dad’s birthday. I normally visit his and my mother’s grave every year on this date to lay flowers. This time I am missing it. I feel bad for not being there. Am I a bad daughter for not being there for him today? I wish I could be there but I cannot cross an ocean in a split second. I will go and visit tomorrow. I hope that will make amends for it.

I am still thinking of him that counts right? It isn’t like I have just forgotten him completely. I purchased a candle and I am going to sit on my balcony and light it in honour of him, and say a little prayer for him. It is all I can do right now. I just hope it is enough. Despite everything I have learnt after his death I still miss him. I wish my parents could be on this trip with me, I know they would love it. I guess technically they are on this trip in spirit. But that isn’t the same.

I guess I better stop writing and get on with my day. Until next time…