velvet underground

❝ So I'm back, to the velvet underground, back to the floor, that I love ❞

velvet underground.

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Gender: Female
Age: 75
Sign: Gemini
Signup Date:
December 08, 2020

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05/09/2021 01:41 PM 

Déjà Vu

trigger warnings for baby loss. 

Stevie has had plenty of times in her life where she felt Déjà vu, and usually, it was something simple and she would just shrug it off. But this time? This time the same feeling she had on that fateful October night in 1997 was the same feeling she was having as she sped through downtown Phoenix towards the hospital. The same emotions she figured Christine was feeling the night she rushed Stevie to the hospital, the same emotions of hopelessness and wanting to just shield Stevie from the pain she knew she was going to experience was exactly how she was feeling with Krissy. The eerie of everything, how she and Will got together and everything seemed perfect and then they announced the pregnancy to the family just for this? Stevie had to hold it together, she had to for Krissy's sake, and even though her mind keeps flipping back to that night where the dried blood on her hand already told her before the doctor could she knew she had to keep her head above water for Krissy's sake. Stevie was always the one in the family who kept her cool, who was able to keep everyone level-headed when crisis' would pop their heads and she was always the one who knew what to say to anyone in every situation. Stevie knew Krissy would panic more if Stevie panicked, but this was her grandbaby Krissy was carrying - she didn't want Krissy going through the same pain she did. F***, she didn't want her son going through the same heartache she and his father did.

Nodding her head when Krissy begged her to call Will, Stevie flicked on her turning single before quickly turning the Charger down a back road, avoiding most of the busy traffic downtown towards the hospital. Perks of moving back to Phoenix is she knows every single back way anywhere in this city. "Siri, call Will" Stevie spoke towards her phone as Will's number popped up on the screen on the car. Drumming on the steering wheel as the call eventually went to voicemail, Stevie slamming her right index finger on the screen on the dash to hang up the call before letting out a soft sigh. "Siri, call Lindsey" Making sure the phone dialed as she made one final turn before flooring it, it eventually going to voicemail as Stevie once again hung up the phone. "F***" punching the steering wheel as she drove, she wiggled her right hand before letting out another sigh. "Siri, call Chase Field" Stevie didn't use who she was to her advantage often, but everytime she ever has it's been for a damn good reason and today was going to be full of the reasons.

Before whoever answered the phone could finish their speech, Stevie was already yelling. "Hi, please don't think this is a prank call, I tried calling my son and husband and neither one of them answered. My name is Stephanie Bucki -- Stevie Nicks. My husband Lindsey and son Will are there somewhere for the Diamondback or whatever the f*** the team is. I need you to find them and tell them to meet me at Oasis Hospital NOW. Thank you" Pulling into the hospital parking lot, Stevie pulled into the first parking spot that she sees before turning the car off. "I'll be right back" Stevie briefly locked eyes with Krissy as her heart shattered in her chest, the same look Krissy was giving her was the same look Stevie gave herself in the bathroom mirror before looking down at the blood on her hand. Not wanting to waste even a second longer, Stevie jumped out of the car and ran across the parking lot as quick as her bad knees would take her, grateful she didn't pick today to wear platform boots, as she ran through the automatic doors and right up to the counter. "Hi, I need a nurse or a doctor or you and a wheelchair out to my car right now, my daughter-in-law might be having a miscarriage" It was when Stevie actually said it did she really realize what was going on, the blonde feeling the punch in the gut as she caught herself gasping for air for a moment. Before she knew it she saw a wheelchair going outside and towards the car as Stevie was just frozen where she was standing. The sounds of the sirens outside, the smell of a hospital made her close her eyes as she had to silently remind herself that she wasn't going through this again, she couldn't let herself process the pent up emotions this was all undigging - she couldn't handle this so close to Sara's birthday; already it was hard enough to just breathe

"Mama"

Hearing Krissy snapped Stevie out of her thoughts as the blonde would start to follow the wheelchair just to have a nurse stop her. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I know it's hard but with everything going on right now we're required to keep you out here until we can let you back. I'm so sorry, I'll make sure to keep you updated as frequently as I can" Stevie took a deep breath knowing damn well it didn't matter who she was in the world, nothing was going to change that she couldn't be back there when Krissy needed her. Slowly nodding her head, Stevie realized she left her phone in the car as she would quickly jog out of the automatic doors and towards the Charger. As she opened the door she heard Landslide playing before leaning in to grab it. "Lindsey? Did they find you?" Stevie sat down in the driver's seat as she heard him remark that they didn't and he just saw she called. "You guys need to come to Oasis, uh - Krissy was having cramps and Lindsey..." pausing, she tried to keep it together until he asked the one question she hoped he didn't. "Oh, Stephanie baby, are you okay?" "No..." her voice cracked, tears starting to roll down her face before she sniffled a few timed to try to get her emotions together. "Just get Will, leave, and get down here, alright? I love you" Before he could say anything else Stevie hung up the phone before letting out a blood-curdling scream as she got out of the car and closed the door behind her. Slipping her phone in her back pocket, Stevie would slowly walk back towards the hospital as her gut feeling was telling her the worst - and her gut usually isn't wrong.

"Mrs. Buckingham?" Stevie jerked out of the chair, her realizing she only been waiting about a half hour. Looking at the doctor, the look on his face said everything as she just shook her head. " I know that look, can I go see her. please?" Following the doctor down a couple of hallways, Stevie inhaled a few deep breaths before reaching Krissy's door. Slowly turning the door knob, the sounds of Krissy's sobs ran through Stevie as the blonde instantly felt her hands become sweaty, her eyes starting to fill up with tears as she slowly opened the door. "Oh, baby..." Stevie walked in and shut the door behind her. "Mama.." "I know, baby. The boys are on their way..." Stevie whispered softly as she slid her shoes off and climbed onto the examing table beside Krissy. Pulling her into her embrace as the woman sobbed, Stevie rested her chin on the top of her head as she rubbed her back. "No one gets this pain un..." "Unless you've been through it. No one gets the pain of feeling like you've had the entire world, the family, the life, the man - the baby, and it all gets taken away and you feel like you could just jump in front of a train" Stevie finished Krissy's statement, not sure if that's where she was going with it, but she needed Krissy to know she wasn't alone.

"Stella is the only one in the family who knows anything about this, and that's because of how I feel about her, but uh...Lindsey and I were together when he met Kristen back in 97" Stevie paused as she felt Krissy grab onto her sweatshirt harder, the blonde knowing she wasn't going to be able to tell this story without breaking down herself, but she needed Krissy to know she wasn't alone in this. "The world knows about our up and down romance, he and I actually got back together before The Dance special and was together during the start of the tour. About a month or so in I found out I was pregnant, and given the fact I was pushing 50 at the time, I've had abortions and Lord knows my issues with drugs I knew it was an uphill battle and it was highly recommended to me to stop touring right then and there. But, I couldn't let my band down  and I couldn't let my fans down so I kept going." Stevie paused, the lump in her throat almost choking her as she was sobbing by the time she went to finish her thought. "Her name would've been Sara, and her birthday is in a couple of weeks. It's why I've been everywhere lately, she would've been a few months older than Will. So, baby, I understand more than you can ever realize, and God I f***ing wish you weren't feeling this pain. I wish I could switch with them so they'd still be here. I'm so sorry, baby."

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