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For Arin
When we met, you were a good friend. That's the way it always starts: close friends. We went out for coffee just to chill out. I had fun just chatting and chilling. Our love of coffee connected us both. I wasn't expecting anything. We were only close friends. But that moment you asked me... I had to say yes. Our lips touched for the first time. I was on Cloud 9. Then you asked me out for coffee again And suddenly... We were an item. In the past, I was desperate, Just hoping for love. And when it fell in my lap, I gladly grabbed hold. You were a keeper. I was happy to call you mine. You were my Ego And I was your Alien. There were no downs, Just up, up, up. Nothing could break us. I was sure it would never stop. We planned so much. We were hoping for a future. And it kept getting better When you said you wanted a baby. A mom. A mother. It's what I always wanted to be. What made it even better, Was that you would be the dad. And then that question The one I've always wanted to hear. You didn't even have to get on one knee. "Will you marry me?" My life was becoming complete. A best friend. A lover. And now husband-to-be. Everything was perfect. All we needed was the ring. But then the worst happened. You were no longer there. Was it because of me? The fear of not being good enough. You no longer wanted me. Those were my first few thoughts When you were no longer by my side. But maybe you just Moved on in real life. I still hope you want me. I still hope you care. But how long can I wait? Before I accept you're not there? I can't let you go. You were all I wanted. I'm afraid to move on. I'd wait for you forever. But I know at some point, It's no longer healthy. Clinging to lost hope Might only make me feel more lonely. I'd hate to move on And then learn you've returned. I'd hate to feel like I was the one that couldn't hold on. So still I wait Til all hope seems lost. I don't want to lose What I felt was so perfect. So I'll wait. At least for now. These tears are for you, The one I'll always love. I miss you, Arin.
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