Tatiana

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January 17th, 2021


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Gender: Female

Age: 26
Country: United States

Signup Date:
November 05, 2019


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10/31/2020 08:18 PM 

Halloween Task: Drabble

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“We’re all afraid of the dark inside ourselves.”
- Dr Samuel Loomis {Halloween ll}

“Why are you here?” That was a good question and one that Tatiana had asked herself time and time again. Whenever she attended her therapy sessions, she very rarely spoke. She could sit there for 58 or 59 minutes of the 60 that she was allocated, in complete silence, and yet, she would book another session. It was a vicious cycle. She needed to feel like she could talk about her past if she wanted to, without having to actually say too much. She was haunted by the memories of her mother and her mother’s suicide, but even more than that, she was terrified of becoming just like her. Despite being adopted, the brunette shared many similar qualities to her mother. There was a darkness inside of her that her mother had shared too and it scared her. Her mother’s life had been tragically cut and she was scared that hers would be too; that she wouldn’t be able to overcome the darkness that had enveloped her mother. 

Glancing over at the woman before her, Tatiana reached for her purse and slowly got up. “You’re right. Why am I here?” It was a rhetorical question. She didn’t need an answer, nor did she want one, though that didn’t stop her therapist from getting up too. “Tatiana, you know that I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant..” she paused and shook her head as she reached for her pad and picked it up. “I’ve been seeing you twice a month for the past six years and do you know what I have managed to get out of you in that time?” It was now her turn to ask a rhetorical question and before Tatiana could answer, the other woman continued. “Your name, your age, that your mother died when you were young, and that you don’t have a relationship with your father, but every time I try to get you to open up about your parents, you completely shut down. So it makes me wonder. Why are you here?”

Tatiana didn’t like to admit it, but she knew that it was a valid question. Taking a deep breath, the brunette dropped her purse on the floor beside her and slowly turned her attention back towards the other woman. “What do you want me to say? That my mom killed herself when I was 10? That my dad...my real dad, the one who raised me, he changed the day by mom died? That there was a part of him that died that day too? Or how about the fact that I was adopted? Neither of my real parents wanted me! Or how about the fact that when I was 16 I killed someone. Do you want me to talk about that too?!” As she neared the end of her rant, her voice was raised and she was on the verge of yelling, tears falling down her cheeks. “I feel alone. Is that what you wanted to hear? I feel like no one understands me and that...and that the darkness...it’s going to consume me as it did her.” 

She was trying to keep her emotions in check, but that was proving to be almost impossible. She was angry and upset and talking about her parents only made it worse. She was in therapy to try and get some closure, but yet, she didn’t want to talk about the things from her past that seemed to be holding her back. Slowly the brunette sat down and glanced over at her therapist. “What if I can’t cope…then what?” she asked, a few small tears cascading down her cheek. The other woman shook her head and offered a small smile. “We all have darkness inside of us and that’s why it’s so important to talk to someone. You can’t deal with it all on your own, Tatiana. You need to learn to open up. You need to learn to trust people and let them in.” 


 

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