Forgiveness. [ drabble ]
Arlene, the edge queen.
You ask for forgiveness from everyone. Your parents, your friends and family, even that stupid boy who made you cry but you had to say you're sorry.
But does anyone every say sorry to you? For hurting your emotions, for breaking your things, or breaking your heart. They just use you like a step ladder to get to where they are going.
'Sorry' had seemed to turn into Arlene's favorite word, and she hated every second that word slipped out of her mouth. She felt weak as if she was just a meer child among adults who thought they were better than her. Even among her peers.
The emotions wanted to crawl out, the anger bubbling up in her. She didn't want to feel this way anymore. She tried carving it out, she tried drowning her sorrows. It all came back worse and worse each time.
Alcohol, cigaretes it didn't fix anything it just made her feel worse about herself than anything.
Arlene wanted them to apologize to her for the way they made her feel as if everything was her fault, for making her not want to feel alive. She was becoming nothing but rage it consumed her to the point where even the dead weren't making her feel alive.
She would sit alone, a cigarette in her fingertips, not even smoked just watching it dim away. She didn't understand, was so always like this. Even as a child was so always filled with rage?
Every day that passed she wondered what it would be like to just watch it all perish. Burst away into nothing. When she closed her eyes she could just picture this town in flames.