She started at the notepad, the blank lines almost mocking her. She had been wanting, waiting
for this moment for years now, and now that she had it, she froze.
She didn't know what to say.
So many jumbled, disjointed thoughts, that she couldn't even sort out herself, to put pen to paper, let alone expect an almost six year old to be able to decipher.
"Earth to Spacecase, come in Spacecase."
A hand waved in front of her face, snapping her from her staring.
Setting down the purple gel pen, with its chewed to death from overthinking cap, Stephanie leant back, setting her hands on the blank pad, to look at her Ground Control, Jordanna.
"What's up, Jor?"
Slipping into the seat across from her, the library fairly quiet this time of day, Jordanna looked from the blank page to chewed pen, to Stephanie's face.
"You've been staring at that page for days now. What's the problem? Stuck on an essay?"
Shaking her head slightly, Steph pulled the slightly crinkled envelope from her backpack, smoothing it softly, carefully, mumbling a response.
"Trying to think how to reply to this. It's harder than I thought it would be. I don't know where to start. Or what not to say. Or what to say. I just. I don't know where to start."
Frowning, having never heard the always full of some form of confidence Stephanie Brown mumble, and so unsure of herself, Jordanna reached for the envelope. Steph pulled it back slightly.
"You're gonna judge me. Like. More than you already do."
"Just give it. You keep saving my ass, I'll give you a pass."
With a sigh, Steph handed it over, before going back to chewing on the pen lid.
After a few moments of silence, Jordanna, folding it back up and sliding it back to her, says softly.
"You had a baby. Big deal. You went to term with her, at such a young age. That can't have been easy…"
Steph shrugged a shoulder absently, frowning slightly. Jordanna tapped the paper.
"Just write. Tell her about you. Answer her questions about the Bats. Talk about purple. Be an old timey pen pal. It's not the end of the world, Stephanie. She seems like a cool kid. She definitely doesn't take after you."
Letting out a snort of laughter, Steph nodded, giving Jordanna a watery smile.
"I know, right? Definitely got the right parents for her."
Before lowering her head and beginning to scribble away.
"Everything doesn't have to be about fear. There's room in our line of work for hope, too." To Lea,
It took me the longest time to work out what to write to you. Not because I didn't want to, but I just didn't know what to say.
But a friend of mine told me to just write. I'm sorry if this gets long, or boring, I've been dying to talk to you since, well, you were born, so it's a long time coming.
It's sort of funny that you live in Metropolis and know everything about Superman, I used to dress up like Superman when I was little, and I think I still have a shirt and poster in my room somewhere!
I'll send you some Gotham Bat-merchandise, there's a lot of it. There's even a Batburger. It's kind of silly, really. But about the Robins, there isn't a school for them that I know about. There was a girl Robin, but she doesn't really count as a Robin. Not really. She was Robin for two months, and then she died. It's not a good life to be a Robin, so be safe in your suit. I do like the purple additions, much better than all the red and green.
Talking about Robin. I'll tell you a secret. The Robin before the one we have now, that took back over after the girl Robin, was actually there when you were born. Only you, he and I know that now.
I was involved with some not so safe stuff. And my dad was a real bad guy. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I would have tried my very best to provide for you, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep you safe.
Now you're in the safest place you could possibly be. And you're happy, and loved, and I couldn't ask for more.
Purple is my favorite color too. That's pretty cool, don't you think?
I like music, all music, any music. You play it, I'll dance and sing.
I play piano sometimes, but not as well as I'd like to.
I'm studying to be a doctor. Help all the people I can.
That's all I can think of for now, Lea.
Let's be pen pals.
From Stephanie Brown.