Choices
Category: Blogging
Current mood:  depressed

The archer walks unto a long abandoned cliff side walkway, his eyes darting around, his hands shaking. It had been a very long time since he had come here and he had good reason for it. Mainly, too many bad memories and the beginnings of hangovers that never seemed to end. Still, he felt a connection to the ghosts that haunted this place.

The ocean roared beneath him and the wind blew harshly against his face, reminding him of how this place was to him emotionally. How he shouldn't be here now. How he couldn't take the memories of her voice screaming out to him. Then there was the reunion. Then there was the recollections that flooded his mind. The hot tub. The night they made love as if there would be no tomorrow. Those memories stung his heart almost as bad as the wind stung his face.

One singular door was closed, the other one, he knew was protected almost as strongly as a bomb bunker.

There's always those moments in  a person's life when their torn between what's real and what is a lie. On the outside, they smile and act like everything in the world is perfect. Yet, on the inside, they hurt. They look for some sort of understanding to help them towards that next step in life. Sometimes that step leads to a crossroads, you know, the one that people spoke on back in the day that could lead to happiness or despair. In a lot of ways I'm standing there now but for some reason, one I don't know for sure yet, well....I know I'll choose the right one.

It's been years, more years than even I want to admit too but I still feel that connection with her. I don't think I ever lost it to begin with. I've had those fantasies that most men have about that perfect woman but mine have always been more simpler. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Something as small as a hug, a sweet caress, a cuddle, hell..even a smile can lead me in a direction that can bring out the best in me. I'm not the type that is hard to make happy. I just need the right person to provide that spark in my soul to make me happy.

This was the same location, one he had traveled to many times without anyone knowing about. That one place where it seemed all of his thoughts seemed to trickle from fantasy to reality and then back to heartache. So many years, so many memories...some standing out screaming to him but others seemingly fading away. The location was the pacific coastline overlooking the beaches of Palos Verdes. His thoughts? Where they had been for years before now..on a woman that he could never forget no matter how hard he had tried.

Clint's finger's traced along the wooden railing overlooking the beach line at least fifty foot below him, his eyes locked on the stars in the sky. This is where he went to think of her and the significant impact she had on his life. It had been a long time since he had seen her but his thoughts had never wavered. He still loved her and there was no doubt in his mind that he would until his dying day. The truth, one that had hit him earlier like an anvil to his head was simple, she had moved on to greener pastures while he was away.

He couldn't blame her though. How could he? He was the one that left her when life became tough. As always, Clint took the high road out and tried to protect those that he cared about. His motto had always been out of sight out of mind. Still, it never occurred to him just how far out of mind he would be. His struggles and redemptions, fails and successes..none of that mattered now. All that seemed to make any sense was the future and the path he would take.

 Which led his thoughts back to the crossroads. If he took the left, it would only lead him back into the past...a past that he loved and one he would never forget. On the right however was something more shinier. A new beginning. A chance to forget everything that had broken his heart in his life.

 Choices...life..decisions..

 When would life ever be simple? Choices easy...the only way to find out was to make that choice.....