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ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ ʙᴏᴏɢᴇʏᴍᴀɴ

12/03/2022 10:45 PM 

🎃 Halloween Boogeyman's Rules 🎃
Current mood:  accomplished

● 1ST & ONLY ORIGINAL HALLOWEEN BOOGEYMAN MICHAEL A MYERS SINCE FB● NO DRAMA ZONE OR BULLYING ALLOWED ● PROUD MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY & ALLIES RPG ● PLEASE READ MY BLOG BEFORE ADDING ME● I WILL ONLY BE ACCEPTING MEMBERS OF OUR FAMILY & ALLIES RPG ● HALLOWEEN VERSE● VERY HAPPILY MARRIED TO & IN LOVE WITH MY VERY BEAUTIFUL WIFE JEANNIE ROSE THORN LEGION-MYERS● I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY WRESTLERS, ANIMES, S&L, TEEN WOLF, SOA, TWD, TWILIGHT, OOC MINORS, DRAMA KINGS OR DRAMA QUEENS, OTHER RPGS, OR ANY FORBIDDEN VERSES ● I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY OF THESE FOLLOWING FACES: NO AMBER HEARD'S, MEGAN FOX'S, PHOEBE TONKIN'S, KRISTEN STEWART'S, MILEY CYRUS', KANYE WEST'S, OR JUSTIN BIEBER'S ● I WILL NOT ACCEPT OR TOLERATE ANY RACISM OR BULLYING ALLOWED AT ALL 

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 10:20 PM 

It Could Be Worse

it could be worse prompt: "everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues. it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie peeked over her glasses at Kay as she sat at the kitchen table reading some emails on her laptop. Kay barged in here a few minutes ago yelling and complaining about how she's sick of the paparazzi following her around given who her biological father and adoptive mother are, but Stevie couldn't exactly blame them given Kay has a habit of letting her mouth get the best of her when it comes to some situations involving the paparazzi -- and people in general. "These f***ing a**holes want to watch every goddamn drink I have at the bar and wonder if I'm going to get a DUI as Lindsey did ages ago when I'm nothing like him. I don't have f***ing daddy issues!"Stevie would slowly reach up to take her glasses off her face before slowly shaking her head, a lighthearted chuckle escaping her lips. "You know, Kay, everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues, it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie pointed out, grabbing her bottle of water that was sitting beside her laptop as she opened it to take a sip.  "Let them talk sh*t and watch you, why does it matter? It's not like you have a reoccurring drug problem like your father had, or a raging drinking problem. it's just a few shots. Let people talk and stop worrying about them, alright?""So, ma? You say everyone has daddy issues, right?" Stevie would slowly nod, once again placing the bottle of water up to her lips to take a sip. Before she was able to swallow it, Stevie would jerk her head to the right to spit it all over the floor at Kay's comment, the blonde choking on the air that was in her throat as Kay couldn't help but start laughing so hard she was crying at her question."Is that why you always call Tom Daddy when you guys are f***ing? I heard it the last time I was here"  Prompt for PR Bunny Created by Patriot

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 10:14 PM 

Lips of an Angel

lips of an angel october 20th, 2006; highway companion tour with tom petty and the heartbrekers. Stevie should've been with him. Instead of sitting alone in her own bus, she should be with him. After all, it is his birthday after all, and their plans got pushed to the side at the last minute due to his wife flying out to surprise him. She might have most of the band food, maybe even Mike included, but not Stevie. This isn't one of them she's in love with him and is jealous his wife has him in situations like it complicatedly is with Lindsey - oh no. She knew Dana Petty wanted nothing but his money and all Stevie wanted was him, - all Stevie ever wanted was just him.Placing the empty wine glass down on a table, her fourth half glass since she got on her bus, Stevie would finish rolling her joint before placing it between her lips to light it. Letting the familiar sensation of mary jane slowly hit her lungs, she'd hold it deep in her chest while pouring herself another glass of wine. She wanted to call him. Well, actually, she wanted to make love to him until they arrived in Indian Wells, California, and pretend nothing else existed. Her complicated relationship with Lindsey Buckingham didn't exist, his marriage to Dana Petty didn't exist, it was just her and him -- how it should've always been.Finally deciding to throw caution to the wind, Stevie would exhale the smoke that was resting in her lungs as she'd grab her phone before finding his name in her contacts and looking at it highlighted for a few moments. Shaking her head, she'd quickly hit call and place it up to her ear while every ring felt like a lifetime. Hearing his slight yawn before his southern accent came out as he said her name, Stevie felt instantly turned on and alone, and the fact he could equally wake up sexual desires she hasn't felt in years and make her feel so in love, yet so alone and heartbroken, shows how much she loves him - how much she's always loved him."Mmh, Steph, darlin'. Why are you callin' me so late? What's wrong, honey? Dana's in the next room, and f***, darlin', I wish she was you" She knew the risk when she signed up to do this tour with him and the band, she knew the risk that was going to be involved with constantly being around him again. Either she was going to be okay and be alright with just being friends or the feelings she'd suppressed deep within her heart and soul since that night a few years ago after he got out of rehab. She was walking a thin line, and she knew it, but she couldn't help it when it came to him."It's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet...""Steph, have you been drinking? Don't lie to me, I know you...""If you wish she was me, then come here, baby. You know, deep down, we never really moved on..."Her speech was slightly slurred, nothing that he wasn't used to when it came to how she could sometimes drink when the voices in the back of her head got the best of her. The way just hearing him drove her wild, but at the same time, it made her just crave seeing him, just to feel his arms around her, even if it was only for a night."Steph, darlin', I gotta go..""Don't, I never want to say goodbye. We've never been faithful to anyone besides each other, please don't start now.""Stephanie...""Thomas. Please. Just give me your birthday, give me tonight. Mike will cover, you know he will. I got wine and weed, all I need is you..."Stevie got hope as she heard some noise in the background, that southern chuckle escaping his lips as she knew one thing - she was getting what she wanted."You know, darlin', With the way your lips feel so angelic whenever I kiss them, you make it hard to be faithful. I'm on my way, my sweet girl.""I'll be waiting, baby boy. Happy birthday, my love" it's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet. Created by Patriot

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 10:04 PM 

a little bit of this | journal entry.

a little bit of this...november 3rd, 2022 www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockxIt's not that I forget to write about this lately, it's just that life has been so good that I've been experiencing and living in the moment instead of just writing about it.Tommy's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and we had a small celebration at home between show dates it was just nice. The girls were here, Will was able to briefly call from rehab and we cooked out and just relaxed. Even at a time when he and I are so busy with the tour and everything else, we could just sit and relax and enjoy the little things.Amethyst got engaged and I couldn't be happier for her and Mark! He really brings out the best in her, and vice versa and the fact they are going to get married warms my heart. I always wish for everyone in the world to have a love like Thomas and me, except without all the bullsh*t we went through to get where we are now, and Amethyst and Mark have that. Finally got around to announcing the tour with Billy Joel, Karen suggested just announcing the show in Texas to see how fans felt about it before announcing the other two shows and the fans jumped all over it. Doing this with Billy is going to be interesting, it's been a while since I've really shared the stage with anyone while being on my own...I mean, besides Thomas when we're doing our songs while on tour.The actual tour is almost over, at this point I'm just making up shows I missed due to having the flu and that's rather bittersweet. Even though I'm going to keep working due to the tour with Billy, that retirement thing is still in the back of my mind. I missed Everly trick-or-treating the other evening due to a show, and where Thomas did rather well sending me pictures and videos, I still wanted to be there. It's just something else I missed due to my career, and suddenly it's bothering me more than it used to.Maybe this is my true midlife crisis? Lord only knows.Stevie.  template credit.

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:52 PM 

london | journal entry

londonnovember 15th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goodessofrockxI sit here as the man I love sleeps beside me knowing damn well what tomorrow will bring. He's avoided Hyde Park, as have I, until tomorrow when we both go there as a married couple to try to truly heal from him almost dying a few years ago. And the anxiety is keeping me wide awake.It was my idea to do this before the holidays and before I start working on my tour with Billy to come here, maybe to help the nightmares stop and for it to click in my head that he's not dead, he's alive and here with me. But now that we're here and we're going tomorrow? I can barely think because I'm so anxious, so I can only imagine how he's holding up.I asked him to sing Room at the Top to me, and he said he would, but is he going to even be able to? Am I being incredibly selfish for even doing this? After all, I have more nightmares about that than he does - am I? I don't know, when it comes to this I feel there's so much of my husband I don't know and that bothers me so bad I could honestly cry.Hopefully, this does healing instead of ruining everything that we built up. Or worse, he tries something again, because Lord knows I couldn't handle losing him, not after everything..Stevie template credit.

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:31 PM 

scary memories | journal entry.

scary memoriesnovember 11th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockxToday's Veteran's Day, and this day reminds me ever year to go visit a veteran's hospital, and today I did in Phoenix and I sang Solder's Angel, something I do every year when I visit and it reminds me why I'm here on this Earth. Most know they're here for a reason or two and I can never figure it out, but today reminded me I'm here to help people heal through my songs and I feel that Solder's Angel is one of them songs.Tommy and I are planning a trip to London before I start rehearsals for my tour with Billy Joel to go to Hyde Park, and I'm a bit...scared to say the least. I know he's not on anything, he's reassured me more than once and I do trust him after all. But, going back there after not being there since the show in 2017 where he sang Room at the Top to me is a bit.. nerve-wracking to say the least.I'm the one who came up with the idea both as a healing thing and a trip us two can go on together as a couple, but I don't know. I don't want to say I have reserves about going, because I do believe going will help him heal after him almost dying there, but at the same time I can't help but to think he'll get something while we're in London. Like, I know he won't, but my anxiety? My anxiety tells me he will and he'll chase it with vodka like he did that day.I want him to sing Room at the Top to me while we're there, too, because in an odd way it's such a romantic song once you get past through the heartbreak. At the same time, whenever I have nightmares of that day where he almost died, him looking at me as he sang to please love him, he wasn't so bad and he loved me so is engraved deep within my memories. Maybe it'll help the nightmares go away?Or it'll make them worse, and I don't know if it's worth the risk, or even if he'd do it.I guess this trip to be London will be very interesting...Stevie. template credit.

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:28 PM 

wedding jitters. | journal entry

wedding jitters.november 6th, 2022www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockxThis isn't the first wedding I've been to, but it's easily one of the most stressful and I have no idea why.I've been the 'mother of the bride' before when I went to Kenny's wedding recently, and I've been witnesses and bridesmaids and everything else at weddings, but I don't know why this one is making me so nervous! I missed Will's, and I would've been the mother of the groom there anyway, Stella and Lee don't really want to get married. I missed Kim's because of a tour and the same with Adria's, so I guess this is the first time that it's one of my children. I don't know how to explain it, it sounds so dumb because everyone who knows me knows I look at Kenny as my daughter.Maybe it's nerves because it's Tom's daughter? I don't know, it's annoying.The plus side though is that Amu is a massive star in her own right, so there's not going to be a ton of "your mom is Stevie Nicks?!" and the spotlight is on me because I don't want that on her special day. I want my daughter to enjoy her wedding and reception with Mark and her friends and family without people gawking over who her parents are. So, for once in our lives we can enjoy something as a normal married couple instead of being international rockstars - and that makes me more grateful than anyone can imagine.I'm sitting here wide awake with a Cold Brew while debating on how I want to do my own makeup. I don't know how to act when I can do things the way I want to instead of the way the world wants me to, I guess it comes from spending so much of my life doing what others wanted - Mick and the band, Karen, record labels, the fans. And at this moment, I can do what Stevie wants and it's nice.And Stevie wants to finish this coffee and then watch a beautiful wedding between two people who are head over heels in love, and then party until the sun goes down.Stevie  template credit.

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:27 PM 

is it worth it?

is it worth it? prompt: "help me understand" trigger warning: drug usage; april 1999 Stevie stood between him and the heroin that was sitting on the coffee table behind her, the rage that she saw in his eyes was something she has never seen from him before. She knew she wasn't coming here today to see her best friend, to see the man she loved, she knew she was coming today to see an addict but she couldn't even understand why he'd pick this up out of everything. Cocaine was one thing, there was no way she could stand between him and a few lines of cocaine, but this? But heroin? She had to stand between him and that because there was no way she was losing yet another friend to a drug overdose - especially not him."Help me understand, baby...""Don't f***in' call me baby. You lost that right."Stevie let out a disheartening sigh, crossing her hands over her chest while keeping her eyes locked on his face. His once gorgeous face that would light up a room seems so exhausted, sunken in as the drug usage mixed with the lack of sleep she knew he was experiencing left him in a pale, defeating state. Her heart broke looking at him, her heart shattered at the way he was speaking to her, but the guilt ate her alive because she knew at least some of this was because of her. If she had never picked a band over him then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be doing this to numb the physical and emotional pain he's enduring."Help me understand, Tom. The Tom Petty I know never would use something like heroin to numb everything going on in his beautiful head of his. He would write about it, he'd throw himself into making beautiful music, not try to kill himself by this bullsh*t""Says the one who had to use pills to avoid taking cocaine" Stevie just cleaned her throat, trying to constantly remind herself that the Tom she was talking to wasn't her Tom and that her Tom would never throw anything like this in her face. "Get the f*** out of my goddamn way so I can take my hit and get back to what I was doing. Don't you have somewhere to be, anyway? Perhaps in bed with Lindsey?' That comment hit a nerve, Stevie turned around and briefly looked down at the table and the heroin before she'd bend down and grab the edge of the table. Quickly jerking her arms up, thus jerking the table up and flipping it upside down, it wasn't until she felt Tom grab her shoulder and force her back to look at him square in the face did she actually feel an ounce of fear. Stevie's been in this situation before, standing between a man and his addiction, and it usually ended with her needing some makeup the next morning. Tom wasn't like most men in her life, hell, Tom wasn't like any man in her life - so he wouldn't hurt her, would he?"Me or the drugs. That's the choice. Me or the drugs" Watching his eyes briefly soften as he looked at her, Stevie had hope that he would pick her, and she would be right here to accept him for the addicted mess he is right now because her Tom is somewhere inside there just begging to come out."Get the f*** out of my way" he snarled, shoving her to the side before she could even react as he would go to try to pick up every little ounce of heroin that was on the floor. Shaking her head as tears formed in her eyes, Stevie would just stand there in silence for a few moments before silently excusing herself out of the living room and eventually out of the house. She couldn't watch him kill himself, so the only thing she could do is prepare to live life without him -- if she even could.   Prompt for saving grace Created by Patriot

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:26 PM 

It Could Be Worse

it could be worse prompt: "everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues. it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie peeked over her glasses at Kay as she sat at the kitchen table reading some emails on her laptop. Kay barged in here a few minutes ago yelling and complaining about how she's sick of the paparazzi following her around given who her biological father and adoptive mother are, but Stevie couldn't exactly blame them given Kay has a habit of letting her mouth get the best of her when it comes to some situations involving the paparazzi -- and people in general. "These f***ing a**holes want to watch every goddamn drink I have at the bar and wonder if I'm going to get a DUI as Lindsey did ages ago when I'm nothing like him. I don't have f***ing daddy issues!"Stevie would slowly reach up to take her glasses off her face before slowly shaking her head, a lighthearted chuckle escaping her lips. "You know, Kay, everyone has at least a little bit of daddy issues, it's nothing to be ashamed of" Stevie pointed out, grabbing her bottle of water that was sitting beside her laptop as she opened it to take a sip.  "Let them talk sh*t and watch you, why does it matter? It's not like you have a reoccurring drug problem like your father had, or a raging drinking problem. it's just a few shots. Let people talk and stop worrying about them, alright?""So, ma? You say everyone has daddy issues, right?" Stevie would slowly nod, once again placing the bottle of water up to her lips to take a sip. Before she was able to swallow it, Stevie would jerk her head to the right to spit it all over the floor at Kay's comment, the blonde choking on the air that was in her throat as Kay couldn't help but start laughing so hard she was crying at her question."Is that why you always call Tom Daddy when you guys are f***ing? I heard it the last time I was here"  Prompt for PR Bunny Created by Patriot

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:25 PM 

lips of an angel.

lips of an angel october 20th, 2006; highway companion tour with tom petty and the heartbrekers. Stevie should've been with him. Instead of sitting alone in her own bus, she should be with him. After all, it is his birthday after all, and their plans got pushed to the side at the last minute due to his wife flying out to surprise him. She might have most of the band food, maybe even Mike included, but not Stevie. This isn't one of them she's in love with him and is jealous his wife has him in situations like it complicatedly is with Lindsey - oh no. She knew Dana Petty wanted nothing but his money and all Stevie wanted was him, - all Stevie ever wanted was just him.Placing the empty wine glass down on a table, her fourth half glass since she got on her bus, Stevie would finish rolling her joint before placing it between her lips to light it. Letting the familiar sensation of mary jane slowly hit her lungs, she'd hold it deep in her chest while pouring herself another glass of wine. She wanted to call him. Well, actually, she wanted to make love to him until they arrived in Indian Wells, California, and pretend nothing else existed. Her complicated relationship with Lindsey Buckingham didn't exist, his marriage to Dana Petty didn't exist, it was just her and him -- how it should've always been.Finally deciding to throw caution to the wind, Stevie would exhale the smoke that was resting in her lungs as she'd grab her phone before finding his name in her contacts and looking at it highlighted for a few moments. Shaking her head, she'd quickly hit call and place it up to her ear while every ring felt like a lifetime. Hearing his slight yawn before his southern accent came out as he said her name, Stevie felt instantly turned on and alone, and the fact he could equally wake up sexual desires she hasn't felt in years and make her feel so in love, yet so alone and heartbroken, shows how much she loves him - how much she's always loved him."Mmh, Steph, darlin'. Why are you callin' me so late? What's wrong, honey? Dana's in the next room, and f***, darlin', I wish she was you" She knew the risk when she signed up to do this tour with him and the band, she knew the risk that was going to be involved with constantly being around him again. Either she was going to be okay and be alright with just being friends or the feelings she'd suppressed deep within her heart and soul since that night a few years ago after he got out of rehab. She was walking a thin line, and she knew it, but she couldn't help it when it came to him."It's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet...""Steph, have you been drinking? Don't lie to me, I know you...""If you wish she was me, then come here, baby. You know, deep down, we never really moved on..."Her speech was slightly slurred, nothing that he wasn't used to when it came to how she could sometimes drink when the voices in the back of her head got the best of her. The way just hearing him drove her wild, but at the same time, it made her just crave seeing him, just to feel his arms around her, even if it was only for a night."Steph, darlin', I gotta go..""Don't, I never want to say goodbye. We've never been faithful to anyone besides each other, please don't start now.""Stephanie...""Thomas. Please. Just give me your birthday, give me tonight. Mike will cover, you know he will. I got wine and weed, all I need is you..."Stevie got hope as she heard some noise in the background, that southern chuckle escaping his lips as she knew one thing - she was getting what she wanted."You know, darlin', With the way your lips feel so angelic whenever I kiss them, you make it hard to be faithful. I'm on my way, my sweet girl.""I'll be waiting, baby boy. Happy birthday, my love" it's really good to hear your voice saying my name, it sounds so sweet. Created by Patriot

saint nicks.

12/03/2022 09:23 PM 

Entry Twenty Three - A Little Bit Of This

a little bit of this...november 3rd, 2022 www.roleplayer.me/goddessofrockxIt's not that I forget to write about this lately, it's just that life has been so good that I've been experiencing and living in the moment instead of just writing about it.Tommy's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and we had a small celebration at home between show dates it was just nice. The girls were here, Will was able to briefly call from rehab and we cooked out and just relaxed. Even at a time when he and I are so busy with the tour and everything else, we could just sit and relax and enjoy the little things.Amethyst got engaged and I couldn't be happier for her and Mark! He really brings out the best in her, and vice versa and the fact they are going to get married warms my heart. I always wish for everyone in the world to have a love like Thomas and me, except without all the bullsh*t we went through to get where we are now, and Amethyst and Mark have that. Finally got around to announcing the tour with Billy Joel, Karen suggested just announcing the show in Texas to see how fans felt about it before announcing the other two shows and the fans jumped all over it. Doing this with Billy is going to be interesting, it's been a while since I've really shared the stage with anyone while being on my own...I mean, besides Thomas when we're doing our songs while on tour.The actual tour is almost over, at this point I'm just making up shows I missed due to having the flu and that's rather bittersweet. Even though I'm going to keep working due to the tour with Billy, that retirement thing is still in the back of my mind. I missed Everly trick-or-treating the other evening due to a show, and where Thomas did rather well sending me pictures and videos, I still wanted to be there. It's just something else I missed due to my career, and suddenly it's bothering me more than it used to.Maybe this is my true midlife crisis? Lord only knows.Stevie.  template credit.

𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆.

12/03/2022 07:44 PM 

testing.

      title here Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.quote here quote here it could be lyrics, idkm ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.quote here quote here it could be lyrics, idkLorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.      

Aria.

12/03/2022 03:44 PM 

the angel baby foundation.

Welcome to the launch of the Angel Baby Foundation founded by Aria Winters Aria: Good evening, everyone! Thank y'all so much for joining me tonight. I want everyone to close their eyes. Raise your hand if you've lost a pregnancy or a child. Raise your hand if you know of someone who has lost a pregnancy or a child. You can open them. In the United States, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage and 1 in 160 pregnancies end in stillbirth. These numbers do not include infant death from preterm labor, diagnosis of life-limiting conditions, or SIDS, which means Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Did you hear those statitstics? 1 in 4 and 1 in 160. That's an astounding number! Something this common should be talked about more, but unfortunately, that's not the case. Pregnancy or infant loss is a taboo topic, and most are uncomfortable talking about it. But not tonight. Tonight, I have Dr. Shyanne Holt and Lola Solace Tanner speaking about their experiences with pregnany loss. Please, give them a warm welcome.Shyanne: Good evening everyone, I hope you're enjoying the lovely event Aria has put together. When I first reached out to speak, I asked her. "Is this event for children that didn't come to term?" She told me it was for anyone who has lost a child. And I immediately resented asking. As a doctor, I see the pain on women's faces when that terrible news sets in. A child you barely knew but had such a tremendous amount of love for, plans for. That love starts at the second, you find out I believe. I believe that the second you know you're expecting- be it you find out at 2 weeks, 4 weeks, hell 10 weeks. Just because a child didn't come to full term, first or second it's still a lost. That lost hurts and sometimes the pain never goes away. You can blame illnesses, drugs or even tell yourself "If it was meant to be it would have." But the cold truth is, you had something and it's gone. A loss is a loss. For awhile I told myself, I didn't lose a child. I barely tell anyone and this is actually my first time publicly speaking out about it. I told myself, at 4 weeks that this wasn't the time to have a child. I already had one out of marriage and I didn't want my Dad to be ashamed of me. I was partying, convinced myself I didn't need to slow down anytime soon. I didn't want a child then. Of course Tucker disagreed and I told myself, "I'm gonna have a baby." I miscarried two weeks later. I didn't have symptoms, besides being tired but what's new? My child didn't even have legs yet. Let alone fingernails, lips... but all that quickly was taken from me. I felt broken, like why couldn't I do it for them. My child.... To me a loss, is when you had a bond with someone. You know their name, their smile. Something to hold onto, a memory. I didn't know my child's gender. I didn't know if it was a he or she...maybe I would have gotten closure with that. I should have. As a mother, wife..and doctor, I want to remind everyone a loss is a loss. No one's experience is yours and you're valid in feeling any type of way. In the way that you grieve, try again or simply quit. We can all say, "what's meant to be will be." But there's joy in making life and there's joy in making the best out of life.Lola: My name is Lola Solace Tanner, earlier this year my darling husband and I miscarried our first child. It was my first and I was completely nervous about everything, not really what to expect. The day it happened, I remember being in bed and getting really bad cramps. It reminded me of a really bad period but I thought nothing of it because I was sure that the baby was possibly kicking or something. I got out and got a drunken feeling on my way to the bathroom. I fell then hit my head then I woke up in a somewhat of a daze and found my bodyguard holding me up. As I came to, I saw a puddle of blood on the floor with a small fetus by my feet. I just remember crying unconditionally before my bodyguard carried me down the stairs and quickly out to the car, where I was taken to the hospital. They called my husband and a few hours later, he was at my side until I left and was allowed to go home. Right as we got home, I felt disgusted about what happened and losing our only child. I kept thinking that my husband wouldn't ever want to touch me or come near me again, we got into a huge fight and ended up taking some time apart. I went back to Seattle and he stayed in Malibu. We had our moments where I honestly thought, we'd never make it work between us again. As many may know, I already had one failed marriage. Deep down, I didn't want this to fail, I wanted to figure things out. With the support of our friends and family, my husband flew out to Paris to bring me home. It was so strange but we ended up making up in Paris, which I didn't think would happen. And a week into being in Paris, I found out that I was pregnant with our now daughter, Lydia. We cried and cried, due to the blessing that came out of it. Donny and I were blessed with our rainbow baby and are so overjoyed to have her. Ladies, it's okay to go through this. Know that you're not alone and things like this happen but remember you don't have to do it alone, there is help if you ask for it. I'm just thankful for my husband and family who were there for us during that difficult time. I don't know what I would do without them in our lives. Thank you for having me this evening and a shout out to Aria Winters for letting me share my story with you all tonight. I wish you all the best.Aria: I would like to thank both Shyanne and Lola for opening up and sharing their stories with us. They are both strong, remarkable women, and I couldn't be more proud of them. On August 8th, 2020 -- two days after my 29th birthday -- I was awoken from a dead sleep by the sharpest and the most painful pains I had ever had. I remember craddling my big baby belly and crying out in pain. I knew something was wrong. These weren't contractions... these were different. When I pulled back the duvet, it was confirmed. I don't remember much from that moment. It was like I blacked out and the next thing I knew, I was wincing at the bright lights and the beeps from the monitors I was hooked up on. I was surrounded by two of my closest friends and the baby's father. I asked what happened and the room was silent. It was until I yelled for them to tell me that they told me the news. As anyone would expect, I was a mess. I didn't believe it. I was only 36 weeks pregnant, my son was healthy at the last doctor's appointment I went to just days prior. I thought it was some sick joke they were playing on me. But deep down, I knew...I knew what they were saying was true. I begged for the nurses to let me see him and when I held him, it was as if I wasn't looking down at a dead baby. I was looking at my son who was alive and breathing. I was talking to him like he was alive and it wasn't until I had to be snapped out of it that I realized that my baby boy was dead. He was cold and blue... he looked like an angel, as odd as that might sound. No one really knows the kind of pain you feel when you lose a child, in utero or birth. It's like your whole heart has been ripped out of your chest. Losing my son was a dark time in my life. I was severely depressed, I was angry, I was crying, I barely ate. I isolated myself from my friends and my daughter. I had lost myself in the worst way, and there were times where I thought I wasn't going to make it out. But thankfully, I did. I started attending therapy and slowly, very slowly, I felt myself coming back. It's been a little over two years now since my son's passing and I still think about him everyday. The pain doesn't hurt any less than it did on that tragic day, but you find ways to tolerate it. Theodore Hunter Winters would've been two years old right now, and I'm sure he would be the sweetest, wildest little toddler there ever was. I can't thank my friends for helping me and for being super patient with me. I know I wasn't easy most of the time, but y'all didn't let that stop you. And I've got to thank therapy for helping me and for being there for me. If it wasn't for therapy, who knows where I would be right now.And that is the reason why I created the Angel Baby Foundation. The Angel Baby Foundation helping grieving mothers who have lost their child, due to a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. It gives them the opportunity for them to seek a therapist that's right for them with no charge. Not only that, but the Angel Baby Foundation will work with grieving families with funeral arrangements and cover all costs. We're here to make things a lot less stressful during a time where you don't know which way is up. We're here to help, and we even offer therapy sessions for other family members as well. We also accept donations, and if you'd like to make one, there is a table over on the right with a donation box where you can donate how much you see fit. Obviously, it isn't expected, but it is encouraged.Thank y'all so much for joining me tonight as I launch something that I've worked so hard for the past two years. I'm proud of it, and I hope you all are too. Thank you!        

Lady of Mercia

12/03/2022 03:48 PM 

Who is Aethelflaed?

                                Who is the Lady of Mercia?What made this writer want to breathe life into her?//This is a new verse for me even as I have written Freya and Amora in the Asgard world so I understand the Viking world.I am very well verse in Celtic history and mythology.  The Celtic culture is my passion.  I have written a book about an originallycharacter, Maire mac Domneill who is one of the characters on my page.  She is the daughter of the Northern Kings of Irelandat the turn of the second century.  Her mother was daughter of a Viking Lord who was also King in DubhLinn Ireland.  Mairelearned both cultures.  I see Aethelflaed as a strong Saxton woman who, also was a strong daughter of a realm in early England.  The Danes were activelytrying to gain land there, just as the Norse were gaining so many towns in Ireland.  Aethelflaed was not afraid to lead.  She wanted sodesparately to protect the people of Mercia from the savage hate and barbarian pillaging of the intruders.  She knew that all the people desiredwas to live in peace.  Both Maire of Ireland and Aethelflaed of England understood the politics of their time.  Both of the their fathers desired to rid the land of the invaders, and at one point in both stories there was mercy given and the people tried to live side by side in peace.  In my writing here, I hope to include stories that explain the hardships of the people and their culture and beliefs....Also I would like to do someresearch in the English story to learn how the Danes fare ultimately in their ambition to settle in this new land.I would welcome especially writers who are interested in telling this tale and sharing what they have discovered.  I am open to crossovers...other characters who might lend a light on some of this story. 

EmmyBean

12/03/2022 02:46 PM 

Two Can Keep a Secret if One of Them is Dead— *** TW

Her long blonde hair was tied loosely into a top knot above her hair. It wasn’t her day to wash her hair and she was trying desperately to keep it clean. She probably should have put a shower cap on, but that always made her even more sweaty than what she already was. The shimmer of her twirling knife caught her eyes and she just stood there watching for a moment forgetting the task she had before her. It wasn’t until she heard a little grunt that her eyes were pulled from its trance of dancing disco lights and back to the man before her. In truth, she had no idea what his name was, but in the end, it didn’t really matter. Tomorrow, she would find out once the missing reports started to come out. Another name to add to her list, another body gone. She traced his head with her knife watching as the point moved his blonde hair to the side. A smile on her lips she leaned to his ear and grinned. She could feel the fear he felt. Clear as day, she could feel it all. It was as if she was inside his body. His heart beat rapidly against his rib cage out of fear, her heart danced with his in perfect time, beating like a scared little doe excited for the experience they were about to share. Of course, at the end of it, she’d be the only one to remember. “Can you keep a secret?” She asked her lips close to his ears as she moved her knife to gently press on his chest. The blade twirling against his delicate skin, but not nearly hard enough to pierce it. “This is my favorite part. The moment they realize it’s all done. The moment they realize it’s over for them.” He choked against the shirt that was stuffed into his mouth. She could hear him whimpering on the other end. A slow small grin spread across her lips as she listened. Her eyes closed savoring the sound. He fought against his restraints whimpering and begging for his life. She listened before leaning back and walking to stand above his head. Her hands on both sides of the table she looked down into his eyes. She could tell he was scared, but… it didn’t bother her. She lived for the look of pure fear in the eyes of her victims. It was that fear that made the kill so much more memorable and so much more enjoyable for her. She lifted her hand with the knife in it. Quickly, she sliced at his chest not enough to kill him, but definitely enough to hurt him. His body arched and his eyes closed tightly as his muffled screams filled the room. “Shhh…” She said leaning back to his ear. “No one can hear you…” A little giggle left her lips before she stood once more watching the red liquid ooze out of the fresh cut. Slowly, her finger moved to swipe across his chest and a trail of blood followed her finger. She moved her finger all around his chest, his blood her paint and his body her canvas. She wasn’t drawing anything in particular, just enjoying the feel of the warm liquid on her. A smirk formed on her lips as she watched the red slowly drip down his body. “Mmmm, I would paint my room in this color if I could. Paint my walls with the blood of all the unfortunate souls I come across.” She said to no one in particular. She lifted her knife once more to the light, the blade catching and sparkling in it. Slowly and carefully, she moved the blade down onto the cut he already had. Without hesitation, she pressed her blade into it, slicing away at his chest. The blood sputtered out from the sides as he screamed out in pain. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched the grisly scene before her. She didn’t remove her eyes from it until finally the blood stopped flowing, the screams subsided and the groans of pain went away. She pulled her knife from his cavity. Slowly, she moved the blade to her shirt where she wiped it off before placing it back into her garter. “They can never keep secrets.” She said, looking at the body before her, staring at the bloody mess all around. “Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.” She muttered before slowly starting to clean up her mess.



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