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fall of rome

07/02/2020 11:01 PM 

anniversary

Roman was standing in a dimly lit alleyway, hearing the woman before him speak as she told him what had happened. Those words left her lips and a smile snuck onto his face when there should have been panic.  “A baby?” Why was he happy? Shouldn’t he have been worried? Trying to figure out how to afford everything? He was a drug dealer, he made money selling dime bags to people who were down and out, barely able to keep the roof he had. But the thought of a child being brought into this world, one that he could care for and protect, it warmed him from the core of his body. Roman could remember the scent of her shampoo as he hugged his girlfriend, if only he’d remembered that the embrace wasn’t returned as such. Sunlight poured into the room, forcing the dream to fade,  and take in the sound of the busy world. He could hear the sound of cars moving down the street outside, the faint honking of horns on the interstate about a mile away. The smell of the city, sea salt and trash, rushed his nose as it crept through the open window next to his bed, and Roman knew that he was awake, no chance in changing that.  The boy sighed as he pushed his head up from the pillow, feet moving over the side of the bed as he looked behind him, blonde hair sprawled out on the pillow and perfect form under the small blanket. He shook his head, a small smile painted on his face as he stood up and walked across the room, entering the restroom and turning the water on. It was going to be a busy day, he had a few drop offs to do, a few people to see, some money to collect, and then of course had to pick up a resupply and portion that out. But it was worth it, the roof over his head wasn’t going to pay for itself and Scar sure as hell wasn’t pitching in.  Roman went back near the bed, grabbing his phone off of the side table, checking his messages as he went back to the shower, hoping the water had heated up. But then, after looking through that day's orders, he saw it. The date on the calendar. Typically something that he would ignore, or just check if he had something important coming up, but today his eyes seemed to be pulled to it. LED’s lit up the pixels as it spelled it out, July 2nd, and his heart dropped.  He ran a hand through his bleach blonde hair as the world around him began to shift, no longer was he looking at himself in the mirror, instead he was standing inside of a doctor’s office. His hand had moved, trying to hold the woman’s as she pulled it away. Rage still burned in his chest, she wanted to get rid of it? Get rid of the only good thing that had happened to Roman in years? He could barely comprehend what the doctor was saying as he watched them move that...whatever it was called on her stomach. His eyes snapping to the monitor as he saw something, no bigger than a berry, on the screen.  Roman felt a hand reach over, gripping his and squeezing softly, warmth rushing through his fingertips as he looked down, seeing a smile on her face.  “Look what we made…” He shook his head, he was back in his bathroom, stripping off his clothes as he heard shuffling in the bedroom behind him. Roman ignored it as he got into the shower, feeling the warm water rush down his body, his head dropped and eyes closed as he just tried to forget his past. He wanted it all to be washed down the drain with everything else.  It’d only been a year since it had all happened, the memories fresh in his mind like they had all happened yesterday.  Roman pushed his fingers through his hair, slicking it back with shampoo and tying the strings of the cap that the nurses had given him. The shower quickly turned into a room inside of a hospital, the screams of pain from the woman on the table filled his ears as doctors encouraged her to push. Roman could feel her grip on his hand tighten, she was going to break all of the bones there if she went much tighter, but he smiled, squeezing back slowly, “almost there, our son’s almost here.” Roman’s voice was filled with joy and excitement as his child was nearly in the world.  But then the happiness faded, Roman watched as the doctor shook her head and he could hear the apologies, he could feel the tears falling over his cheeks. His son was….Roman screamed, his voice echoing off of the bathroom walls as he felt pain surge through his arm, his hand had slammed into the stone of the shower wall. Again and again he hit the wall, the water pouring down around him as he felt the tears rushing down his face, mixing with the water of the shower as they fell down the drain.  His back hit the tile and he sunk lower and lower down the shower walls until he sat there, the water turning from steaming to nearly frozen as it washed over him. And again, all he could do was lift his head and scream.   

Adrian.

07/02/2020 12:44 AM 

RULE

Please, check into the nearest mental hospital before cashing drama.

Pistol

07/02/2020 03:18 PM 

Meet me at the graveyard.

Meet me at the graveyard, my dear dead boy.Save me.Save me.

𝓥𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓪

07/01/2020 11:30 PM 

Lσsт Mεмσяу's

  "Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."*******(Roni & Clary)R: When she first meets Clary, "If you want us to be friends, shut up and let me help you."C: After years of friendship, "Sometimes I hate that we're best friends."  

deity, chaos, void, pain, teenwolf, riverdale, supernatural, thevampirediaries,

Tatiana🏳️‍🌈

07/01/2020 11:42 PM 

4th of July Playlist

The Independence Day PlaylistDolly Parton - Color Me AmericaMadonna - American LifeDemi Lovato - Made in the USA Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA Martina McBride - Independence DayKaty Perry - FireworkJessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj - Bang Bang Fall Out Boy - Fourth of July Bonnie Mckee - American GirlFaith Hill - American HeartCarrie Underwood - All American Girl

Elizabeth Simms {M}

07/01/2020 11:14 PM 

bio

Married to Nathaniel Simms kids ?

All Grown Up! RPG

07/01/2020 08:01 PM 

The Audition Form

 ❥ O.O.C. Info     Name/Alias:     Age:     Preferred pronouns:     Time Zone:     Activity Level: More than just a number. Possibly explain anything that might prevent you from roleplaying in this RPG.     Triggers: Any triggers that you might have.     How did you hear about us?:     Discord/Other contact information:     Writing sample (it can be from any character and any verse!):      ❥ Character Info     Character Name: Who are you applying for?     Secondary Choice: If any.     Personality Traits: Both positive and negative personality traits for this character.     Short biography of your character:     Headcanons: A few fun facts about your character that haven't been mentioned yet.     Love Interest (if applicable):     A.U. plot/twists:     Faceclaim:     Verse/Cartoon:     Sexual Orientation:     Current Age:     Birthday:      ❥ Anything Else? Anything else you’d like to add goes here!

All Grown Up! RPG

07/01/2020 07:58 PM 

The Rules

The Rules Rules:❥We will NOT tolerate O.O.C. drama. I.C. drama is welcomed and always encouraged. If you are caught intentionally causing O.O.C. drama, you're out of this RPG, no exceptions. We are here to have fun and let's keep it that way.❥Multi-para/novella only. We do not accept one-liners in this RPG. We get that real life gets in the way, or you might have lack of muse issues at times. Do the best that you can do, is all we are saying here.❥Hiatus requests can be allowed but no abandoning! Please do not join this RPG if you plan on randomly deleting in the middle of a storyline. We all have jobs, take online classes, or something. If you are inactive for more than three weeks, your character will get re-opened.❥We will give you twenty-four hours to create your account. If you will need an extension, please let us know. There will be no Activity Checks in this RPG, but admins. will be making sure that you're still active.❥Joining our Discord server is completely optional!❥There is a character limit of four characters in this RPG.❥Playbys/faceclaims are completely up to you. Multiple faceclaims will not be allowed in this RPG.❥If you have any specific triggers, please let us know beforehand.❥We will allow mature themes/storylines in this RPG. Characters can do drugs, drink alochol, smoke, and etc. Sex scenes must be written in messages, not comments. ❥A.U. plots are always welcome. You can choose your character's backstory/childhood, and etc. These rules are subject to be changed later. Members must always check the rules blog in case there are new rules or changes to these rules. Please comment to this blog with your #1 favorite Nickelodeon character, whether they are from a cartoon show or a live-action show.

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐘.

07/01/2020 10:25 PM 

( 𝟒𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭, )

SAVY'S GREATEST 4TH OF JULY HITS.  1. Party In The USA - Miley Cyrus - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA2. American Women - Lenny Kravitz - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Z_fsdWYXMA3. Cool - Jonas Brothers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_JbZvHc92U4. I Really Don't Care - Demi Lovato - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJGUbwVMBeA5. X - Jonas Brothers - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hGdmEwBwbg6. Born In The USA - Bruce Springsteen - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPhWR4d3FJQ7. Kids In America - Kim Wilde - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_GH6M7cUq48. Made In The USA - Demi Lovato - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3zdIHDTbg09. American Idiot - Green Day - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee_uujKuJMI 10. Cake By The Ocean - DNCE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWaRiD5ym74

⚡Angel ©

07/01/2020 10:27 PM 

The Stupid Prince & The Stubborn Princess AU :Thats what its all about

  She finished writing up her reports and stood up she turned her phone on and it instantly went off..there were at least 30 texts from Brian..he was freaking out she sighed and pushed her chair in and walked down the hall to the elevator and pushed the button. She dialed Brians number and it ran voice mail. She raised her eyebrow and hung up getting on the old elevator and pushing the button for the first floor. She got off and walked outside her uber was waiting she got in and told him the directions. She was recounting the events of the day and he kept popping in her head. Why? It was weird today he wasnt such a prick..he was actually human. She thought breifly about going home and taking a shower and pushed that thought out of her head. She tried to focus on a thought of Brian the man she was supposed to spend the ….well most of her life with...she knew there was going to come a time where she had to sacrifice her body to him and she really didnt want to but if she wanted to keep up this lie it was going to happen. She was trying to build up courage and she had.talked herself into it ..it was going to happen tonight ..just get it over with and then its no big deal right? Yeah people sleep with people that they dont necessarily like but they do it ..mostly for pleasure. She loathed Brian he was always trying to touch her and convince her to do things ..that she didnt want to do. She pulled up outside his door and got out of the car. She walked up the steps and pulled out her key unlocking the door and pushing it open. Shutting the door she took off her jacket and peptalked herself ."Brian? I was thinking that maybe we could…..well I mea. Have se…---"She froze she was standing in the bedroom seeing Brian in a most compromising position with BRANDY!!!! Her breath caught in her throat as Brian and Brandy looked over at her. He fell out of bed and grabbed a pillow hiding himself and ran up to her."ANGEL!!! I didnt think youd be coming over? I texted you and you never answered..this isnt what it looks like." He nodded to Brandy who waved at her. Angel looked at Brian and felt somewhat releaved but somewhat shattered she spoke softly."I was at work...I couldnt ….." She felt like crying for a moment thinking she was about to give up her body to him and he did this...her anger was rising slowly. " what do you mean its not what it looks like Brian..your d*ck was inside of her…"He smiled a little and glanced at Brandy then back at Angel."Yeah maybe but I love you...Angel 2 years and we havent had sex once how do you think I was still around..I mean sh*t..your hot but honey...how long could a guy wait? " he said almost convincing her she was in the wrong.Angel shook her head and backed up"She has a boyfriend!!! Who I f***ing work with...BRIAN WHAT THE F***…" she was pissed now and turned walking out of the room. As she walked down the hall she was tipping anything she passed. She paced in the livingroom thinking to herself.. This is all men want isnt it? Just sex thats all they care about ..just a body count..her breathing sped up and she could feel herself having a panic attack. She leaned over putting her hands on her legs and was taking deep breaths. She needed to get out of here. She pulled her phone out and pushed a bunch of buttons and herd it ring she dropped the phone as Brian walked out with Brandy she stood up still trying to breath and looked at them."Angel calm down ...seriously..sweetheart its fine I love you but you should have slept with me to show me ..I dont get it 2 years and nothing ..I mean maybe theres something wrong with you?" He laughed a little and so did Brandy she raised an eyebrow and pointed at her."You have a boyfriend...albeit a prick of one but a boyfriend who you sleep with all the time??? Why Brian??? Why you ruined everything you know that??? It was so hard to do this ...and now you YOU blew it and him" she could feel her eyes sting..she wasnt upset at the fact that they slept together it was the fact that Brandy and Brian just blew her cover her rules..she looked at them again and grabbed her jacked and phone which was still in a call and walked out the door. She looked around and sat on the steps outside and put her face in her hands she was terrified now..she couldn't help but cry she was alone now..she had no cover and it was all because she wouldn't sleep with him..something so simple but something that meant so much to her it wasn't something just to be given away it should be earned she wanted someone to have her that wouldn't hurt her ..that wouldn't take advantage of her ...did he exist ? Probably not as she was learning...and that broke her heart into pieces. She was a failure in her eyes and mind..she shouldn't have been so stubborn..so stupid...she felt her body shake as she cried alone on the stairs ..what was she supposed to do now?

𝓥𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢 ℌ𝔶𝔟𝔯𝔦d

07/01/2020 09:28 PM 

Rules
Current mood:  accomplished

1. I am NOT here for erotic!! Take your thirsty self elsewhere. Thank you!2. No drama outside of RP. I don't have time for you to act like a bunch of teens fighting over who said what.3. Do NOT steal my edits! My fiancee works hard on them! If you want one, just ask.4. I am not here to date outside of RP! I have my fiancee and we are happy!5. Do NOT pressure me into dating your character. If our characters seem like they are heading that way, cool, if not, too bad.6. I am here to roleplay. Not form a clique. If all you are going to do is just chat, we will not work.7. If your character gets with mine, do NOT try to control me and tell me not to talk to others playing your same character. I can still RP with them and be friends. You don't own my character.8. Spelling is a must! We all make mistakes but you need to at least put some effort.9. I do multi-para and above! Nothing below. Don't ask!10. I do work and have a life outside of rp. I will get to things in my own time. If it bothers you that it may take up to a week to get a reply, delete me now!11. No God-moding my character!!12. Finally, we MUST discuss a stroyline first!! Leave a comment showing you have read my rules! Thank you.

Arabella.

07/01/2020 07:31 PM 

Playlist Wednesday.

Groovy Tunes. 1.Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus.2.Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen.3.American Pie by Don McLean.4.American Woman by Lenny Kravitz.5.All Summer Long by Kid Rock.6.Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd.7.Summer Of 69 by Bryan Adams. 8.All American Girl by Carrie Underwood.9.California Gurls by Katy Perry.10.Truth Hurts by Lizzo.11.If Ya Gettin Down by Five.12.Pon De Replay by Rhianna.13.X by Jonas Brothers.

D𝒶𝓇k 𝒜𝓈𝑔𝒶𝓇𝒹𝒾𝒶n

07/01/2020 07:06 PM 

Rules
Current mood:  calm

Rules for writing:No. Not the sort to make people sign and all of that bullsh*t. I just feel that it's time to voice the basics so that everyone is aware.1) Writing style: I will write para to multi para. The length of my reply will depend on muse, time, and the message I am to which I am responding. I will try to match the length of the reply I receive. I attempt to be as literate as I can but I make allowances for typos and if English is not someone's primary language. I also prefer writing in messages.2) Reply Timeframe: I will attempt to reply in a timely manner. I do work full time and have other obligations. If I am going to be away for an extended period, I will post a status.3) LI: Loki is multi LI and multi ship. He is pansexual. This depends on chemistry and romance/sex needs to be part of a storyline. 4) Drama: Drama IC is fantastic. I will not tolerate it OOC. I have already dealt with some on this account and been way too nice. No second chances. Cause drama and I will unfriend you. 5) Non-Talkers: I will do sweeps of my friends list periodically. Non-talkers will be removed. If I send you a greeting and I get no response in 3 weeks, I will assume that you are not interested in writing and delete you. I am here to write. 

Styx Sedna Morficare of HeavensHell

07/01/2020 06:39 PM 

The Merged Trait

2 Session. Part 6The Merged Trait    It al fliped as the Gods parted to their own realms resetting their bases. As some fought for lower positions to represent widows for example and what else, me exporting their dead husbands, nothing new happened in Olympus really.  The Gathering of the Gods determined characteristics who breeders were installing as some trait that allowed them to strive, to prevail, to prove they own their realm, but Olympus? Watched Charon waiting next to me, we were not leaving. Sometimes, I'm very ambitious and expand beyond measures following the dictamen to letter, other times like others woke up without any hatefulness to stand against and for, it was like oh! I'm Styx, and months have passed without hearing a voice from Zeus. Hera commanded peace in the heavens and as this river descended from the Isle of Fortune and the Elysian Fields, atmospheric as heavenly hosting Gods and Noble Warriors, notorious.  Even when no one was watching this is the pick of the Zenith and found my tribal instincts to be far away from Zeus and Hera's matrimony. Was debating if one soundtrack or the other really, that much I cared the actual evolution. Blew another empty smoke sensing my daughter Eos revelations, of course, I have raised her. Every month gave her packs of bills to count, her adoptive father Charon ex-changed them from a few of his gold coins. She certainly was raised to be more materialistic than how minimalist she claimed to be, coached her, guarded her, supported her wishes, and always gave her half of my belongings. After all, she is the New Dawn and what best investment there is then having the proof of my very self being reaped from my very best to stand in her own to the leftovers of the world. I just really hated the idea of having her work for others, they all belong to the elder generation, thoughtfully asked Charon as pensive he was "When are you going to ask Zeus for the money?"  I mean, is not that I only want Charon's vessel to travel the souls for the money, or his stick that rocks his boat is not that I never ask him for anything as the devotional wife Hera who loves freedom. On the reverse demandingly, because patience has no ticket return in this river. "And we are not moving till he pays fully, the more the better at once. The fewer losses Char, is an investment. For your own benefit." Of course, my husband is the God of Greed and who would be better for this act. I mean. Look around. Not even the very Zeus had the enlightened idea of what was going on and even if he did, he seemed resilient before Eris and everything it represented. I wan' to be alone. What I'm after takes a push of my own and as many teachings on counting gave to Eos, counted on no one to bring forth the word. So I made my way down a few levels bellow exactly where the prodigal son of Hera, Haephetastus was always. After electrifying her mother and F***ing around the world with Dyonisus he returned by the charming voice of his other best friend Eros to return to Olympus. We had a pact, I made a deal for him in the name of his technology.      It is not that I'm independent and like to do things on my own, smart habits and practices allow me to enter at the right moment and was kind of pursuing numbers and charts, drafts of commerce to this in recognition of his behalf. Gods, as people look at the market place become more objective. It was easy written on wet clay, as the ruler of Babylon was written in cuneiform. He is a funny guy of those who is made only by his mother, as Athena to Zeus, he was mama's boy and certainly liked my presence as every friend of his who was a womanizer, a futuristic poet or rails, armors and everything going metal, wires, nets of wires."I definitely like this song, Haepe"  He stood up with open arms to welcome me, he was not really into God's gathering and all that, he was thinking always thinking as his mother, he was everywoman's wish, modeled after a woman wish on her opposite sex. Much to himself, constructive. Praised for the tendencies he broad, from Warcraft items of defense to attacks. From connections of warriors to hackers to protect the company. Not that is easy getting information from the River Styx in order to destroy me. You would flip the coin to guess, enter as many realms and get out to find me and nothing would match. I like those who recollect the water with a ceramic bowl to make tests and make meetings on my name, specializing in the subjects of mine and getting distracted from the samples. It was impossible to get to the bottom, really. Strategists.  They united from different clubs, laboratories, offices, conscientious reunions, and calls by the observance of principles. And my waters are as I say. To what I say, it is. Not necessarily if you are inside the mafia, is kind of the dark side of Olympus. The fun. So after hugging the boy out of the free time of the Olympians, he made me enjoy listening to his last rebellious invention. "So, you are also privatizing your own for less stress and more productive quality, you are learning to manufacture new methods, very well! Is all in the system, the better, the greater trait"    I was not going to talk about our technological pact on frequencies, I mean. I got the head office on my neck, after all, I'm the Goddes of Last Breath, and it is not that I inflict that on others, only, was flown by it. Setting on the corner of his bussy desk, observing his last movements among the informational clutter of his composition, and is part of his masterpiece, alright? Crossing my legs to incline forward admired the sparking potential. It's logical. Perfect. "So you can now monitor the souls while they are alive, but you have them plugged in your algorithm. Zeus is yet not bringing word for the investment and your mother insists on the biological touch, how motherly of hers, isn't it?"  Everyone wished to be alone, is not that hatefulness rules the world and the world needs a break, jumping from concepts to conclusions as the program now exists beyond my given charts to prove the trait in the market, found the whole situation too slow, bureaucratic, and taking advantage of the lockdown to do nothing about it really. "So they don't trust me, he? And who said it was to trust me? I'm to be feared and hated! Respected, I don't need non of them to talk to me. I want the deal." Of course, after watching Eris take her leave as the floors of Olympus followed her, that was a weird sensation, could perceive two stages in one, the illusory and the real crossing the dread of specters affected on daily life, Gods and Human beings too trapped in a ghost area, a down gap between pulsating new impulsive waves. "Yes, the recession, right. It has been a high expectancy of results is a matter of resolution, postponing is bogus." If there is something admirable from the high ranks of genious is that they always have a clean record.    Pat on his shoulder as a professional who gave him the underworld's map to engineer the program on his own hands. He knew what to do after he provided me with his interesting occupation. "So you are incubating Zeus information, and he gave it willing it to Hera, good, very good!"  Leaned back, proud of the waiting. "I can see" Finding some discomfort in my crouch by seating in the narrow corner of his desk, added to my personality a dissonant tone of thankfulness. "Pleasures, comforts, only Olympia knows! And the International Gods, are they aware or are they still hiding from the apocalyptic threats? The old is dead, there is no other choice Haepe. I'm old and I'm death, but there is something beautiful about this generation. Something keeps me alive." We shared a few talks and laughter on Gods for a while, it was pathetic of ours but funny. It has been a memorable date, he worked well with me, when joking and when serious.    "Did you know that my daughter Eos is coming to celebrate your work? I need you to code it in her body." 

Styx Sedna Morficare of HeavensHell

07/01/2020 06:06 PM 

Role Play and Healing

Today I feel ooc and worried and I like to set my mind out if I can recover something, something that I feel lost. It's as lost as the lost souls from the river Styx. In a metaphorical form, the character of Styx is top Narcissist and Hateful, powerful in her domineering flow to flow among all the legions of Hades, Heavens, and Hells, but deep inside she only cares to her realm, the lost souls who sink in eternal last breath. (Is very sorry inside)Developing this character for the last 16 years, it has been the same stories, over and over again, getting to learn more from the same thing, I had found the lost souls to be roleplayers. Living in the flow of roleplay, between life and death (virtual reality) because someone is not alive and one is not touching any ground. Is not that I own roleplayers, but to my feelings, is the roleplayer in me and what signifies. There can be found many interpretations of what roleplay is about. And I won't share all my studies since I know how people can copy my copyrights, studies who had cost me a deal, for good and bad. Studies I worked very hard and appreciate from the roleplayer community to the roleplayer community to materialized. Not changing anything really, but adding and simplifying. So, you can study myth and then start to think you can work your myth, as any given character can existentially have its movement by your creation, by the same foundations, growing up with it.Then healing is a form of life that is contact with nourishment, longevity (immortality in a spiritual present form of belief that makes you high, cleanse and pure) So I have developed stages where some of this lost souls, have learned to walk on earth, while the majority are forgiven after a cycle of eternity as in Myth depicted to be 100 years, I'm not aware of if the underworld has measurements of years since none of us have been dying to record anything about the time being there. But there is time in our consciousness that all sinks down, over and over again, as the lost souls who did not pay the values in their living and the coins to Charon, the ferryman to cross over to their hells or heavens.  This somehow has over gone over and over my head. I don't think people come to role play for healing or therapy or self-development, maybe they do in the process. Most are like watching TV for entertainment in a sedated way from reality, randomly doing and doing for no reason, much of frontal thinking, very fast, operating to show perfection, to be liked to have friends, to learn better, to have fun and I love that. A roleplayer is very valuable, is more into character development and stories. These stories have shown a community of people who are graciously sharing time and over the years, even if you don't interact with others so much as I do, it becomes familiar, your home, a part of you where you link over and over again, between last breaths, again and again, lost it in. Most of all I want to thank everyone for their process of development in their characters, I will ask to stick to their characters instead of making so many characters. The methodology is going deeper, running away to find a better character as if a new lover will be better, won't change your problems. Yes, we need many characters since each shares different voices, other voices can't. But you can't go as deep with so many, is impossible, you can be a good clicker or a good writer and is wonderful to have read so many good stories. I'm grateful to the amount of flow it's happening and I feel so much fear at the same time, impossibilities. These impossibilities will be changed by pairing a few settings and is very basic, is methodological and purely mechanic in the operation system of how you configure your character in groups, from the very rp.me. When I say it will, is because any idiot could get to my level of intelligence. I can support it in a few months or anyone can get to that mathematical, scientific, relational solution. Sometimes there are doubts, as today. Why would have to work with that, can people already do it by their intelligence? I have come to a point in life where I'm overvaluing what roleplay is, and if supporting human stupidity would be profitable and successful to the degree of level I see, and I had the experience. Not showing off, but it does exist.I believe in Univeral Love and a true role player must have achieved this degree through all its characters, independently of who is writing behind. As a self-development and group development. I come from a life experience where things are valued and I don't only mean money, but money determines how much money and worth its to each thing. Because we do not value air, we take for granted the power in breathing, there is therapy call Re-Birthing, this therapist specialized in this technique and many were doctors, it's a long story behind it. And I'm not going to talk about it, you can understand it in a book or from mouth to mouth, but these techniques are very powerful, by just breathing with many methods. What I mean is that some people value the air they breathe and you can read your breathing.Will stop here, you can feel people's breathing, by studying yours. There is a full dictionary there, as cries and laughter can have many connotations and different tones, musics to it. Without words. Words are in a lower level of mind, you will never achieve a higher consonant to see it all, since word thinking is not inside the speed of light, time-space who relates with a chain of events that mean the same, through the history of your own. this chain system is worked, unleashed, and decodes much information inside.In the Occident, many people go therapy to have better relationships, to have success, and a few because they are touching down the bottom, about to die, or were in an accident. this last have more probabilities to make their lives better, then the first two. My mother was an organized to international Therapist, so we knew how to sale therapy to the rich or newly rich, a few would pay by parts thinking they would change their lives for better, but statistics never lie. Those who come for success or relationships, never change. Loneliness is a great epidemy in the world right now. It's been grooming before the internet came out, why people do such things, for their lack of connection.Now people feel connected online, and there is a jump from both worlds, who will eventually explode more easily, giving trust faster. Won't talk about, since is not of mine to predict, some people think I'm a read the future and I deny it over and over again. Is commune sense. Anyone has the senses to feel and see, is like the weather you can predict it will rain, and at the same time, most of the things are predictable. Because of the nature in it. I've been around many people who are doing well, and you don't need so much in this world to be happy being grateful is magical. Then to another extend find our bodies need to worry, to do things, is a healthy part of the brain who needs to be active. Then we need silence, to relax, to let go, to surrender, to perceive without ambitions. As the simple doing can turn silently, there is an inner observer (not judgemental) One learns to see the observer from the judgemental the more your practice your self in any given scenario, life or RP. And I miss the playfulness and celebration. It has been very costly to apply changes, its time for me for honoring everyone from far away. Something in me rather keeps in this place of being alone, peacefulness. An inner danced happened, but I stopped seen people dancing, and dancing myself, many things happened and became very discriminative to everything I do not want and won't condole. I only think of the future and the greatest method to do a short cut for this future. It feels in the present time, to be honest, and it might sound crazy as it's.I only see children, all my children in the garden of the divine playing. And it makes me laugh inside, not hoping they will grow up one day, but that they will see the seriousness and maturity in it, being playful and yet responsible which means the ability to respond.Maybe I had practice meditation and therapist, studied many religions and tribes, but I consider myself a Roman Catholic Apostolic, who likes a little more the nordic churches but had limited time to be religious at any church. I'm not a Christian, but if you put me before all the nations, it's us who had given ourselves to others and the world as no religion did, there is an act of missionary, there is sort of sacrificial goodness in saying sorry. Have lived around the world, not in every country, but I'm in a believer in what I have seen from my existence and thanks my parents to have educated in this way before going to India when was 13n.There there is a communion among all things, Jesus is the only meaning of our Christening like. And I have my relationship with God as I hate Jesus for putting himself in the cross, against the world of celebration he meant. But its sales and moved the world, with martyrdoms. Something I truly hate, away from playing Styx a Goddess of Hatefulness, I hated. But as a child loved going to church and feel divinity, brotherhood, goodness, and pity, seeing the cross, a sense of humbleness. It might be in these last two years that came to get a glimpse of what it meant, the Meek. And would say from this last decade too. But was not aware in its totality, if I had to choose to be an arrogant person, would have never chosen that path, till I said yes. I get it now. I won't like you as a role player, and you might know there is a spiritual war out there, being paid for a long, long time. Is not the Devil really, we "Christians" because even if you are an atheist you have an embedded biblical DNA in you and is coded so deep in your personality that much must be washed since it also gave some traumas. But hey, we had evolved beyond the Bible. In a more psychological and playfully way, I believe we are above all human intelligence to understand other religions and cultures as roleplayers as many out there went not to conquer the world but to bring goodness, in bad ways, and good, but they did, many running away from own. We tried to hard, we tried too hard, but we tried and we did it.In the year 1981, I was 7 years old as a Spanish person, not in the USA or UK, my parents are their friends who were talking in what school to place their children for the second language. What I mean is that the world at that date was debating if Inglish or French as a second language, if you slip the world in parts for whom was studying a second language were only the rich. But they had their choices. Only Europeans know that the USA did not win the war against Hitler, and was not the UK all alone. Because you know history from one side of the story. But Hollywood made people laugh and dream, and the music made the people happy. So it was very liked by the world. The Spanish from Spain was the only and first to have the "Revolution against Franco" The dictatorships that were going in Europe. It was not a communist thing really but against poverty and tyranny. It was very basic in Spain, they were 50% of all your goods by force or death. It was the Spanish who called the attention of well-known people in America and Canada, who came to aid Spain, first and only when Europe silenced the UK too. The Russians made half the job from the back of Europe all alone. And Americans with Canadians put the world together with the UK too. But in the year 1981, intellectual debated the long fights among the colonies competing to get more land to conquer the world, but there were all Christians. Spanish practically gave much of their lands of the Westside of America up till Canada, they were doing a good job and they could not bring more Spaniards anyways to do the job. Spanish had admired the British and we gave up long ago, there are many stories it to I won't talk. What I mean with this story, is that the world has come together to finally speak one language in our generation.  Most of you are not aware, because you were born ignorant to history and the reasons why, what put the Christians together to push the English language together in the world, the French are still angry till date, but is the Frech President and speaking on behalf the president of America till date and Eu is struggling for the past mistakes with this extremist religious and cultural war of believes.  You might be reading this if you care about role play and healing and be thinking so what? I don't care. It's sad to say that people with education are the only ones who care, or that Christians are the only ones who care, or that is no one's business to care so much. Somewhere in some corner of your own, there must be good, there must be an eternal wish to do good, to heal your own at least. It would be stupid to think that will you gain a better person to give because you have another or you have money if you had not healed inside, you can only share mistakes and sickness a waste of life. When I had put 40 people that I consider white trash and lives from the Government for free with values, to what is hard work to sweat to be caring, to be frightened of your work, when I say White trash I mean it because it thinks to be superior, still. There is no strive or struggle to be better. Before an immigrant who would want to be a better person. And if you take from statistics to the black communities who are in Welfare many will do the same, but the majority are striving to be better in a world that gives a damn. As their own, they do.What I mean by this because if I have to take standiscts of how many roleplay work, don't work, have ambitions, want to be a better person, want to help the world around them, and who is white trash living from the Government without caring a damn. And they would think on the other side, If I have to bring people who care in this place and wish to study them selfs in energy groups, they won't find a healthy environment, or understand clearly what this place is.I don't think you value the English word or what this place means for you. Did you know the English Dictionary is the simplest, compared to German, Spanish, Frech, Italian, Chinese, Sanscrit as Latin? Did you know, many said around the world, it would be the easiest language to learn for the rest of the world. Is being said from teachers in school as well, the School of the Prince of Spain. From a British man who knew I forgot how many languages, he was very fat and pink, with glasses and we thought he was crazy because were all Spanish and snob, all the same, and this how you think where you are small-minded as a teen, especially. But we liked him. It was maybe the first time we liked English class because he talks about the languages in the world and the history of English being an English man who traveled the world, so he was not given by books only or family, he was kind of those British explores and end up with a ridiculous job, to keep on. You could see he hated being a teacher with brats who did not appreciate him and was there as a stepping stone. But he gave us the importance, many teachers did, also the teacher of Science who studied in France. All of them gave is the importance.I don't know what it's like to be in a public school or other cultures as a child, but I can see when a person has importance. Arabs don't care to their people, they had petrol and is just two decades ago they have an infrastructure to do things, and still, they care more about the survival of children from the suicidal bombers than their people. They don't know about Laboral rights as the Christian world fought for, they don't know about Female Rights, Black Rights, this was all Christians because they had the right to scream for freedom. You can't do that in Africa, in a Muslim world, to date. Not in China, or India, etc... and people can be happy and find enlightenment but alone.So yes, I will end here saying nothing much, I believe in collective awakening, I believe you are damn slow mentally, to be honest even if you people are cool writing stories, but I wish you to get the importance of you being in here. Not as Christians, but from where you come from, if you want to be white trash till the day you die, or you think that you matter, that is not supremacy or a split from the world, but to go out there in your community and participate. Bring a real story here, study, there are roleplayers in this place who shall have a noble prize and are writing for free, is sad to believe that the true success to all this would be in making a better world.But again you go make statistics and put them by parts, 80% relationships, success. Roleplay gives a belief of success and power but is illusory, there are many more realities to it. If you stick to the bases and foundations of your character with others.I can't ask roleplayers to heal, as this letter states and will remark 2% of the thousands of people we had worked for the International therapy shows, go to India or if not have the money they give their career to become a therapist, to be a massagist, involving the therapist in their coaching to the companies, etc.. to at least devote their work in an always healing and nourishment, with them selfs and others, continuously.Now China is opening their gates to alternative therapy, the black people are not going to therapy really, they have way too much going on blaming on others but they try, The Arabs have strong beliefs and would let a relative die without going to alternative therapy having all the money in the world. The new rich are more interested in Instagram than nourishment unless its to look good and here we go, take care if you can, and build walls for your career. Roleplay is a place of no real religion and we are the first, I want you to know a little about the world, I'd love you to pay interest in your healing process, to study the world. I would love to say that we have a great team of roleplayers managers but is sad to say how afraid they are of mingling their darkness, shadows with others. I'm going to tell you one thing, we heal together. And is not in a seminar or going to hurt, even the pope Francisco said that going to confess your sins is not enough, we have traumas, and there are techniques. If I had the power, Id wishes to call some roleplayers and ask them if they are eating well, if they are going out. I know is the process of death and killing past, as a kind of abandonment to some, and to a few, an entertainment escape and too little ones is a process of spiritual achievement or self-realization. And all of this together. I don't think roleplay is the answer, I have seen how many talented roleplayers have stopped it because its not the answers and many who are here 24/7 are killing the meaning of what roleplay is.Some times it looks like a madhouse or playground of children. A loss of time to people who have values. If you stand away and look at it as if its the first time you come to roleplay, by looking at the pictures in the New members, or go to read the groups and the sections of people's blogs. Is not easy to understand at first sight.There is also a kind of frequency field, I have tried to bring people to roleplay, but found is impossible, those who are here are the ones who are meant to roleplay and that's it. Is too new, is like you must have particular traits to have ended in this place and waned or not, these traits are all in the commune. As different we are all, as you might have 9 traits to be a serial killer, top narcissist, or genocide. But, I won't share my diagnosis or the traits I have studied. I'm not going to give pearls to pigs, ungrateful people who copy your work, and are ungrateful.I can share one trait you all have, there are a few more. Freaks. You all have a freak, MissFits. You would all be doing something else, but are here, dueling. And return. You can be anything and that's freaky. Not even a heavy metal punk is as a freak compared to a real roleplayer, everyone is Stuck in Character in Real Life. There is a percentage of woman who are so heartbroken that will never meet a man again, so betrayed, this prototype keep playing the good girls friend and wife and nice person in all their characters, they have moral existence to their families but hate them deep inside because they are a failure. You have many prototypes, I could have one lover after the other or be married for many years, but love writing and doing my crazy things in RL, something no family, friend, or relations would understand since is too strong to handle. But I don't roleplay for there reasons most of you do or stop my living life because of traumas.  Id wishes to value more my fellow roleplayers and ask from the distance what's stopping me to roleplay. I have dialogues and long days of silence, I have my own resentments as well, resentments who paralyze me. I'm paranoid and ultra cautions into what invest my money and time for the next decades and the direction of affairs with my family and closest next to me. You do not know me, but I have my own thing going on and I do care to my people. I'm not there all the time and I have also incapacities and great need of good characters around my existence as to those I love. I do not believe in suffering to learn, and desire non of this to further generations. There is violence, much violence, and autonomic changes coming with intensity in serial numbers as to say, entities pushing on streams, on their own, together, and them good too. But there is violence. I'm partial to Violence as Might, Strength, and a sort of healthy rage, that one who has when you go to the Gym or create resistance to dive for longer periods of minutes underwater, as I actually did and many would on their own. There is a predominant power behind violence, power, and strength, and is not all dark really. But it has to be tremendously dark if you need to heal. But is dangerous in the wrong set of awareness. If you have a roleplayer friend to trust your stories with and is able to stand to any "darkness or conflict, without having the fear that you would be rejected if you are not nice, or someone would delete a button on you or block you, etc... Insult you publicly" it would be ideal you can trust, because Europeans don't really do that and find that very white trash, screaming ooc, conspiring against people as if freedom of expression will make it, putting others against your own anger without looking deep in. I don't think we had Europeans fighting for toilet paper as in America but is Americans who own roleplay, and now China (Not very well) But they are using it in their companies so their workers can express, certain things IC. Ideas too. To stress out as well. Anyways, is been enough. I wish to have evident statistics based on my theory. What takes to be a real roleplayer. Or a manager of roleplay. If you are going to harass one of the best roleplayers so is yours, you are not a roleplayer, from day one, you never were and never will be. If you are going to act against another roleplayer, so you are closer to another roleplayer, you were never a roleplayer and never will be. If you ask for quality and popularity, you can't have both. Since our mind is unlimited, but our time is not. You cant be a manager of every verse, but you can support others to do so. If you had sought for power, keep the roleplayer till you find the original power. If you put my final conclusion placing normal people who are rich and pay therapy, having only 2% of true seekers. And then you have to place in a chart, how many roleplayers come to roleplay to look within (any character as its character, because many are playing the same ego, or strategy to get a so together) I don't know if you'd get a full 0.01% because you are all freaks.Freaks never wish to change, you find this in people who jump from character to character without depth, scream out a good story, write a good story, scroll in the stream day and night. Any psychiatric or person with a comune sense will agree with me. If you had a rat, rabbit or money to be tested in a laboratory and you asked them if their wish to be there, none of them would tell you they want to be somewhere else if they were born there. Or did not know better. I see you as that. I don't think you knew any better. As good as you are doing here, it seems to me, you can't even test yourself, to get the formula, to look within. You will keep on and on being tested, being studied over, as an experiment, the first roleplayers of the world.And when you become your own doctor, your own therapist, or God, or have some commune sense, use your consciousness or love to one another. Become less self orientated to be something you are not because it's good, but there are few layers that are not soo good as its.  I think you have the potential of bringing together a better board, or healing, and self completeness. Not as a character. But as a human being. One day, freedom will rotate as in rp and out. And you will be grateful to have achieved this, not on your own or on your own, or how did it happen, or why, but by doing it so much you came to this realization. And perhaps you can welcome the world, who has to painfully has to learn a second language called English. Think of your self as a present to one another, and not only feel, also think. is easy to learn by copying everything we learn. Is just that there is something more to it, you can be managers and respect other managers, stop being so self-orientated and say sorry openly to all those you have envy, hurt. Share the same pain, move on.  There is so much love in every character, there is so much worth in real roleplayers, some roleplayers are like, is nice, is there always, but is not getting it. Is something mystical about it, is not one person or one writer? I have experience times that you would wish to know if everyone is the same person because you value everyone. Or one has inspired the whole board and it became contagious.  It simply comes through, and everyone in a comune climax, ultimately high. More than a monologue, a 1X1 story or streaming out. The stream has killed much of what roleplay used to be, thanks to Facebook, myspace copied that f***ing stream and excuse my OCPD, not the word of how f*** things can get to be when you were used to perfection. Deeper writers and readings and more sense of community.For me, the stream is a rubbish container of publicity and a waste of time who has created the rubbish or roleplay and my time on earth. Short mind, activity, addictive, and cutting away from the energy group. But if you come and tell people who has been streaming all their living, they won't understand unless they experienced it. At this moment before getting serious on my studies, and is very difficult to draft the precise words without hurting anyone, by being more professionals. If you have the statistics on a draft, you would never have to point with your mouth any negativity and no one would take it personally, a group of people would see evenly what sales, what chucks, and what works more. What sickens people, what heals. The world of therapy became a bussiness and it turned ugly with copyrights and millions of dollars cutting the flow of people, they started saying other things, becouse mediation was not a sale, and hurting each other of tribunal fights. You have no idea how much my heart hurts to know the potential of humanity in greater scales. The better the worst. It would have been easier to be raised as a mediocre to have a mediocre view to careless, it would be less hurtful to take some drugs, alcohol, make love with my husband and only care for my children. I would be happier with a simple life. But I turned to learn too many things, becoming a freak and could only create in the world we seem to fit in. A world of arts, relations, studies and creativity, not only with computers but in real life too as roleplayers.Sorry if I had to let go some critical views who might sound insulative, you are free to feel and discard anything, I just hope you would love your existence better being a roleplayer and thinking that one day you could work as a roleplayer helping to make a better board, and with it, a better world. To take it more seriously, more IC, imagine the world is watching.Is all I have to say for today, is not easy being IC, today has been an ooc day. And like the stream too, especially the comics verse, is goofy, smart, and unpredictable. I know why many good roleplayers give up roleplay, and wished to bring my attention to those who pollute this site with rubbish content. Will ask once again, to take your time in helping uniting groups, stages as they are. To take more time in writing something worthy to read. Thank you for being in this place, and never be afraid of expressing yourself to me or new people on this site, in giving them a hand and turn them into better roleplayers.Is all, there is healing in joy, this is not analysis, this is what makes roleplay above all, with all, but there are laws to it, there is a science to it and one day you will have to pick sides if to be a piece of rubbish or to be quality. If you nourish and heal yourself while commuting with others (counting the darkness to IC) or to hide it in lost soul monologues. Sometimes you can even report from the news you read or feel, from a member in your family, you can write so much and heal at the same time for the way you can communicate something, is not that other people are reading you, but there is a kind of prayer and understanding in the air.Psychatry tags people, and they know the mind is always changing, Neurologist know this but they have to draw a pattern, they can write down everything as they say everyone is unique with so much in it. Imagine the multiple capabilities and connections of the mind, imagine if this minds move with its body and does things. Imagine the power of thinking, besides coding and images, who is artistic, imagine we could credit all this artist and musititians with a link of the stories who inspired us with their arts. Imagine someone does that to you as well. Imagine you had heal and die in peace content, not in a desire and regret, for that very hollowness of the lost. Imagine your experience has been a Quantum Jump or prayers to millions, and behind you this millions are waiting. Imagine you are not being an obstacle but part of the flow.Is very difficult for me to write as corporate, as an computer ingeenering to what roleplay is about, becouse I don't see it happening. It can't sale as it's. I see beautiful talented people in this place, learning to write and coding, if I have to report what is the benefit of roleplaying. It would not come to healing, becouse if you see a person having the same existence than when it started roleplaying, there is something wrong, maybe had find a better way of understanding and expressing. But something is not active, is only a virtual expression of how would you relate, is like you chip this roleplay into real life. Do please take your communion in roleplay from the heart and bring the heart to real life, in your style, however, you are the awareness to it, this is not a program to learn languages and psychology, this could be healing if we play our sickness and become more playful and serious about it at the same time.Look at reality, not from inside a cocoon, strive to breakthrough. From RL to RP and back, I feel it when I relate and return if the members of my family or people who are connected with me are better, happier if I'm bringing something. Is like an electric vibe and we are only two inches away from making a perfect world if we all get this code call Univeral Love, or a heavenly state is as continuous healing, but healing does avoid darkness or destroys or fights against death. Is grateful to have lived and to part away, it has been fulfilled.Only think about it, you have been posting all your existence, with better words and images, music, but what did you really do? Besides maintaining your body to continue posting. It won't matter, nature can take over the earth again and heal itself. At least if there is joy, there is a way to be. And roleplay has great qualities to have achieved by now. Besides being a channel of entertainment and activities to the imaginary. It feels as If I'm hammering into something and not nailing it. It's something there, and is not about investing with all the money in the world for it to happen, or telling people how to do it, or in the program. How can you pay a prostitute to love you? Maybe she will for one hour, the best she can, maybe it won't be sacred, I don't think it would feel unique but for the relief, I don't think it would be unconditional or very human, you would say at least I'm not using a woman for sex and lying to her that I will be her boyfriend or husband as many men do out there, and it's fine to do it if you love the moment, those are aware agreements in people. If you look at roleplay, it has all these qualities, we do it for free, and is one of the most joyous things because everyone is there as well in this manner, committing to your characters and relations. As idiots, imbeciles, genious, to have liked, to feel connected, to let it out, something is going on. Could see it as a Nebula in space, not fully really taking form, but you see its colors and potentials, not taking gravity and seriousness. Many Nebulas come to be nothing, they don't form, some do. And there is much going on.I wish I could roleplay again, but the sensation has changed. Is easy to be popular, I know all the tricks, is very easy, any idiot could do that, it somehow that a call is calling me and just voicing out how it feels, wishing you the best in your journey that maybe one day you forget this words but something has click inside your own. Reading these words or not. That this prayer turns you a healer and a destroyer, a fun person to be around in RL and RP. Thank you for being who you are, to those who resent me because you love someone and wished to be above, I forgive you, is the way you love, and everything we do is because of love. Even bad things, even our shadow love is because of love. I know you will never be my friend, it's a strong pattern and design in it. A person who looks within has 2% betterment, is not much if you look at it with your forebrain very fast, but looking deeper to it all, at the entire body of a person is much. If you knew how much it takes for this little 2% it takes all of you. Women to male organisms differentiate with a little more of this percentage. The same to a higher level of IQ. It is using 4% to 5% of its brain as Einstein was. Is like lifting your body away from a cancerous relation inside oneself. No one is responsible, you can have a doctor, a therapist, a priest a best friend, the unconditional support of your partner but it will happen 100% to see your own relations with sickness, any sickness. (Not other people).And I'm not perfect, but I had stopped smoking thanks to the stories and regained smoking two months ago after a death. I'm not perfect and as you continue to strive from this cocoon, wishing we are something special not just freaks. I really dream to see, we did it. But as it's, because by the intuition of how people write and why do they have these characters with who, get to know who is who and could totally understand why things are being said, but we are not being fully honest and cooperative. Asking for quality is not deleting everyone and selecting the best with some of our characters, but why do we do many of the things we do. Bulling and corrupting the stream is one.If you knew how much love we need, how much working love, and healing love, you would understand it would never stop.With much consideration to every and each roleplayer, for whatever reason or background who broad them here. I'm sorry if you need to feel what I mean and it might sound too much but I will post this as my mind is organizing to minimize this into a part of an infrastructure I'm working with. My heart needed to breathe it out, its a part of healing is not a culture or religion, or in the program, or in the settings. But after so many studies came to the point that if there is love there is no healing and if there is no real nourishment it's only an illusion, stimulating to the mind and perceptions as real, but true healing takes something in all of us and we shall understand whatever spiritual consort of prayer or healing, the wars in the world, get more in tune and participant.I wish I could explain this better, but I have trust in you to be whatever you want in real life and keep promoting joy and playfulness, sincerity in all you do.  Thank you, and forgive me for not correcting this post, said goodbye, and had not finished many sentences, they are openers of gates within thoughtfulness and prayers once again. I wish to thanks especially, that you become better writers, watching your evolution has been formidable, to those who were always nice and perfect getting to honor the darkness. I don't see community RP, transformations, confessions or forgiveness, stages, groups rotating, strong dynamics, and stronger faster dynamics. 99% randomness and only two talented people whom one happens to be a genious, do please become a genious yourself. people being the same person in all their characters is not a roleplayer. Or a person who truly pays interest in reading in going deep, in going totally, in being taken by it. Another understanding, culture, draft, music to it, etc... Its too much Ego. Let this genious be, be grateful these people exist, really. Talent is within you and can only be achieved in this way, not because of any other reason, it can help blood relations or social status, but many genious have come from non of this and I think is enough by now.Have invested too much time in roleplay, id wish to say goodbye as if you re my children and to tell you that everything is going to be well, but a human to be considered matured is 26 years. University and Masters degree, and more years added to it a couple, 28 years to know the child you had can work with strong foundations by itself. It would be premature to say goodbye from my part, really. Something is calling me, to change, to heal, to transform, not feel sorry is saying these changes. Is like the music continues and that contagious dancing has stoped in me. It would be irresponsible to march away since this is not a hobby to me but a life form who has become a part of me. We simply do what love to do, and as some careers, you can't be playing football for so long, you move on, as a coach, etc.. watching others do what you used to do. Achieving other realms of the old age, as a painter who breathes to paint will never stop painting until my last breath. But I'm not really a writer, in fact, never wished to be a writer. Wished to be an astronaut, a detective a nun, a classic musician, never a show off dancer, but to make people dance like a dancer. Never wished to do many jobs I did, did it because I was misguided by people "You cook so well you shall be a chef" Never dreamed of being a chef, never did. And even studying for scriptwriting, was to honor my father. This life is complicated, knew had to do with multimedia that a person was more important than a movie. That it consumes too many viewers times. I knew my studies were not to watch a film or read my stories but something more interactive in the body of the real world. And ended up being a roleplay, because the Industry only had seen me as a sexual instrument and hated my talent. Got much trauma from it, to date to ever come out as a working person for a better job. My psychiatrist has given me medication for meetings, serious meetings out the ordinary, for this very reason, because something inside gets nervous, never express it, but the whole context of me changes trying to avoid being known by this fear, by being wrongly perceived as a woman and not an intelligent supportive person. It's so strong, that I used to say, Id love to have two bodyguards next to me so I'm taken seriously. Wondering if its sickness that I'm here for or a talent, both, a sick world screaming with stories, writing today about healing to help me expose the profound meaning of healing, purification, and ritualism in doing so, making it part of your duty and day to day form of being. Being a better person as a roleplayer is not changing anything really, but loving yourself through all these characters and relations as we know it. Trust there is nothing to fix, you are already great, given all the potential to feel and transit through all your inner systems and connective systems. Ones you appreciate this joy of flowing within the self of you and with others, things happen. I really wish you to be an eye-opener within you and know that the world is watching as well, to take it with more importance. So make this place a better place from within you to others, loving too much one person could be denying others, maybe is an obsession. Maybe we need to change angles and emotions, the love of another might not be it. Admiring and being present won't stop when you love someone's talent its admissible to let this reflect in you as well, in all things.Namaste, Amen. Enhsalla, might this world come together and let me free. Believe in the miracles of the heart, do please believe any toxicity can be transformed making your mind and body more vulnerable and sensitive to healthier products and vital needs. The more aware you become and grateful what you are given to be and become is all inside of you, all that you have to relate, from the darkness to goodness, and let healing be by simply observing the works through love.I don't think I could ever be alive without you, lets say I must say goodbye in this letter, for new days, and new ones. Many hugs.~The writer.  




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