Sympathetic One; on RolePlayer.me - www.roleplayer.me/sympathetic-one Sympathetic One;
How can you run from what's inside you?
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That One Time When...  (13  photos)
Sam & Dean
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you  (3  photos)
Dean.
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    Sympathetic One;'s Interests
General

Be my brother again, 'cause -- just 'cause.



Name: Samuel "Sam" Winchester
Nicknames: Sammy; Samba; Jolly Green; Moose; Giant; Sass-quatch; Ass-quatch; Boy King;
Date Of Birth: May 2nd, 1983
Place Of Birth: Lawrence, Kansas
Current Residence: Lebanon, Kansas
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Hair Color: Brunette
Eye Color: Hazel Green
Height: 6'4
Weight: 215
Mother: Mary Campbell [deceased]
Father: John Winchester [deceased]
Sibling(S): Dean Winchester
Other Family: Bobby Singer [surrogate-father];
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Relationship Status: Single
Current Relationship(S): None
Past Relationship(S): Jessica [deceased]; Ruby [deceased];
Traits: Clever. Considerate. Forgiving. Humble. Intelligent. Loyal. Profound. Protective. Selfless. Self-sufficient. Sympathetic.
Likes: Sarcasm and jokes. Walks. Books. Music. Animals. Art. History. Justice.
Dislikes: Clowns. Co-Dependency. Being called, "Sammy", Not being able to take care of himself. When people make him feel incapable; such as being treated like a child (mostly from Dean, who tends to get over protective of Sam). Being defined by Azazel's blood.
Quirks: Overuse of the sturgeon expression. Often wears a large pale-green jacket. Always carries a pistol and // or a silver blade. Has a signature bitchface. Generally starts explanations with, "Get this" or "So, get this."
Strengths: Good with people. Knows how to use a variety of weapons. Efficient in hand-to-hand combat skills. Knowledgeable on lots of Lore/Myths/Legends. Law school knowledge. Adapts quickly to change.
Weaknesses: On occasion, his sympathy. Guilt can often get the best of him. Palpable trust in people. Elevated self-standards that are simply not realistic or unattainable, which can often send him in a cyclone of vicious failure cycles. (Nothing he ever does will be good enough, because he will think he can always do better.) This thought process can be both a strength as much as it is his weakness, due to its self-motivational tool. He also has an insane fear of clowns.

I scare the hell out of myself.



Sam Winchester is possibly one of the most compassionate and sympathizing human beings on the planet. He, not only, is capable of understanding the pain of others, but is also able to feel their pain - sometimes on a very deep level. Sam's sympathy allows him to form quick and meaningful bonds with the people he comes into contact with. This trait alone is one that drastically sets him apart from his brother, whom can often come off rather indifferent to people's feelings.

Though Sam's sympathy can be viewed as one of his strongest qualities, at times it can also be his worst. In his past there have been a few instances where people used his sympathy to their advantage, thus leading Sam into some very sticky (and sometimes unfortunate) situations.

Despite these unlucky events, Sam has never let the downfalls of those experiences prevent him from reaching out to people. He continues to give people chances - and, at times, even forgives and feels for those who have wronged him in some way.

He thrives off of aiding those in need. Whenever it is in his power to lend a helping hand he will go above and beyond, even if his brother (or others) don't agree about the people who deserve said help. However, because Sam is very good at putting himself into other people's shoes, he has been known to disregard what others think about certain situations or people and follows his heart, which is doing what he thinks is the right thing to do.

_________________________

Sam is seen as the most empathetic of the two Winchester brothers. He has a heart that is filled with nothing but good intentions and hopeful desires. With his strong will and virtuous mind, Sam strives to achieve goodness, at all times. With every action, the safety and well being of others are his number one priority, especially when it comes to his brother.

Though he tries to do good and to be good, Sam experiences many failures. In many situations he is faced with difficult decisions and more often than not the choices he makes backfire, leaving Sam with feelings of self-guilt, self-shame and at times, even self-hatred.

It is because of these failures that Sam neglects the ability to see the good that he actually does manage to do. His failures and loose ends overshadow any successes he has. His self expectations are set too high, sending him into a vicious cycle of never ending failures, which tears him down mentally.

His feelings of being inadequate and not good enough only amplify the moment he discovers his mother's deal with Azazel. Sam's blood was tainted black with the blood of a demon. This knowledge leads Sam down a path where he constantly questions his actions, his agendas, and (as he believes) his inability to do anything right. These horrible thoughts only make Sam come down harder on himself as he struggles to prove to himself, and others (including Dean) that not all of which is marked as 'evil' has to be evil.

However, Sam's many attempts to prevail, like so many other things, blows up in his face. He's met with constant failures and harsh realities, where the people he so desperately tries to believe in or save fall victim to evil or death. Sam tends to suffer from feelings of self-doubt and depression because he can see a lot of himself in these people whom he tries to have faith in, and in the end, is always let down.

No matter how hard he tries to do what's right, or how often he has good intentions, Sam is mostly left with unhappy outcomes. He views himself as a monster, first before anyone, and fears that everyone else will only ever see him as such, also. Anything he touches and everything he does is tainted by the plague of darkness in his veins.

Regardless of his low feelings of self-worth, Sam still fights strongly to prove that he isn't the monster he feels that he is -- and that other demons and angels tell him that he is. He's determined to redeem himself and always looking for ways to make up for his mistakes and transgressions.


You don't have to be a monster



Music

     Sympathetic One;'s Details
Characters: Sam Winchester
Verses: Supernatural
Playbys: Jared Padalecki
Length: Multi Para, Novella, Para
Genre: Action, Crossover, Drama, Heroes/Villains, Supernatural,
Member Since:July 06, 2012




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   Sympathetic One;'s Blurbs
About me:
Who I'd like to meet:

Samuel Winchester

On the wrong side of Heaven and the righteous side of Hell



It doesn't matter what you are, it only matters what you do


the past
When Sam was six months old, a demon by the name of Azazel (also known as Yellow-Eyes) slipped into his nursery. Azazel slit his wrist and forced the baby to drink the demon blood. What nobody knows is that the whole thing was supposed to have been stopped. For years Azazel had been performing this task to many newborns in hopes to tipping the scale in Hell's favor. In Heaven, the angels had been ordered to protect babies of the mother's who had made deals with Azazel. Some battles were won, while others were lost.

That fateful night, Mary Winchester was the unfortunate soul who entered the room and found Azazel with her son. Had the angel that was assigned to protect Sam Winchester not been tied up in another affair, perhaps things would have turned out differently. Due to Mary interfering with Azazel's work, he killed her and set the nursery aflame. John Winchester made it to the nursery to save his son, but could do nothing to save his wife. Azazel was also nowhere to be found.

After the passing of their mother, Sam and Dean's father became closed-off. Due to the trauma his six month baby had witnessed, John handled Sam with extra care. There isn't much that Sam remembers about his earlier years other than that their father was gone a lot. Often times Sam was left under the care of his older brother, who would inevitably grow to become Sam's idol. It was also highly expected of Dean to ensure nothing would ever harm or come close to Sam. John entrusted this responsibility to Dean whenever he would run around in search of the demon who had killed their mother.

As the years passed by Sam and Dean were exposed more and more to the hunting life their father had chosen to live. The boys were trained to use weapons and learned how to handle themselves in close-combat fights. However, it seemed that with each passing year they never got any closer to finding the demon responsible for the death of Mary than they had been over a decade ago. This of course would become incredibly frustrating for Sam the older he got. Dean had no problems with their life style or the choices their father made because he wanted revenge just as badly as John.

Sam on the other hand was never as interested in the hunting aspect of his life as much as he was in school. Despite the fact that moving from city to city made receiving an education difficult, Sam found that he enjoyed nothing more than when he was able to attend classes and be around other kids his age. It was the only normal thing about his life and it provided a sense of comfort for him that he was too young to understand.


the present
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.

Vestibulum convallis quis nunc vel feugiat. Donec at nunc sodales, ultrices lorem quis, viverra tortor. Sed sagittis lacinia ante, ac tristique felis ullamcorper ut. Suspendisse auctor est nec fringilla posuere. In luctus congue mollis. Integer eget magna ullamcorper, interdum risus ac, fringilla tellus. In dapibus risus ipsum, sit amet mollis metus sagittis ut. Quisque nec sapien id odio molestie auctor id ac tellus.

Aliquam erat volutpat. In tempor, erat vel sollicitudin feugiat, nisi augue consequat sem, non tincidunt mauris enim sit amet purus. Vivamus sed gravida elit. Sed tincidunt, mi quis hendrerit luctus, justo magna eleifend lectus, ut dignissim tellus neque ut nunc. Integer lobortis purus dui, ut feugiat lorem facilisis molestie. Nunc fringilla scelerisque egestas. Etiam at metus ut erat rutrum vulputate et eget diam. Fusce nec ornare sapien, sed pellentesque enim. Sed sollicitudin ornare tellus malesuada dignissim. Suspendisse adipiscing id justo a suscipit. Nam laoreet risus eros, in tristique diam porttitor nec. Aenean accumsan felis a mi pharetra, molestie ultrices leo pellentesque. Ut sodales ullamcorper leo at rutrum. Pellentesque id sapien venenatis, pharetra nisi vitae, semper augue. Vivamus lorem justo, posuere et volutpat non, facilisis at orci. Praesent ac condimentum justo.

the future
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.

Vestibulum convallis quis nunc vel feugiat. Donec at nunc sodales, ultrices lorem quis, viverra tortor. Sed sagittis lacinia ante, ac tristique felis ullamcorper ut. Suspendisse auctor est nec fringilla posuere. In luctus congue mollis. Integer eget magna ullamcorper, interdum risus ac, fringilla tellus. In dapibus risus ipsum, sit amet mollis metus sagittis ut. Quisque nec sapien id odio molestie auctor id ac tellus.

Aliquam erat volutpat. In tempor, erat vel sollicitudin feugiat, nisi augue consequat sem, non tincidunt mauris enim sit amet purus. Vivamus sed gravida elit. Sed tincidunt, mi quis hendrerit luctus, justo magna eleifend lectus, ut dignissim tellus neque ut nunc. Integer lobortis purus dui, ut feugiat lorem facilisis molestie. Nunc fringilla scelerisque egestas. Etiam at metus ut erat rutrum vulputate et eget diam. Fusce nec ornare sapien, sed pellentesque enim. Sed sollicitudin ornare tellus malesuada dignissim. Suspendisse adipiscing id justo a suscipit. Nam laoreet risus eros, in tristique diam porttitor nec. Aenean accumsan felis a mi pharetra, molestie ultrices leo pellentesque. Ut sodales ullamcorper leo at rutrum. Pellentesque id sapien venenatis, pharetra nisi vitae, semper augue. Vivamus lorem justo, posuere et volutpat non, facilisis at orci. Praesent ac condimentum justo.

You will never hear me say that you, the real you, is anything but good



You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you


+ Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.
+ Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.
+ Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.
+ Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed in nibh vel sapien suscipit commodo sed et purus. Nunc varius quam sed sapien commodo egestas. Aliquam sed volutpat lacus. Vivamus fringilla eget odio egestas consectetur. Suspendisse consectetur in nulla vel facilisis. Aliquam gravida tortor vel elit commodo, vel faucibus est vehicula. Curabitur quis bibendum purus. Sed augue arcu, sollicitudin et condimentum quis, pretium ut nunc. Vivamus porttitor egestas varius. Aenean suscipit libero vel nisi egestas, in ullamcorper neque scelerisque. Integer a massa sit amet nisi fermentum interdum. Aenean leo mauris, dictum vitae augue fringilla, rhoncus malesuada est. Aenean aliquam dolor et nisi varius pulvinar. Ut quis nunc aliquet, fringilla augue ac, molestie orci. Maecenas vel elit ut turpis ullamcorper placerat. Nunc et mi pharetra, tincidunt massa non, laoreet turpis.

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Sympathetic One;'s Friends Comments
Displaying 10 of 22 comments (View All | Add Comment)
vampire𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦

Jul 25th 2016 - 4:31 AM


 photo tryrty_zpsien7tfxp.gif

-The slayer tries to ignore the slow saunter of the hunters legs lingering in between the space between them, bridging the gap. There was a stubborn playful pout on the gentle pale pink lips of the slayer.-

Hey-- no I'm not--
I said no huggi-

-The tiny blonde's words died on Sam's shoulders as her slender frame became swallowed in his embrace.�
He towered over her teeny action packed feminine build, his arm's like vines trapped her tightly in
his embrace. Slowly her fixed headstrong self melted down to scraps-

Okay fine...ONE hug.
-Summers places her arms up under his and over �his shoulder blades, comfortably resting
the side of her cheek against the sturdiness of Winchesters chest.-
This doesn't mean you're off the hook...
You still have...groveling..and bribery...
to do before you're completely forgiven.�

-The slayer nods, satisfied with the terms shes laid out-

 photo 146943470958310_zpsden3oimq.gif

Well get to writing then buddy because I'm 10 types of ready�
for some hot cup of epicness.�
I get it, no�split�milk, tears, or hard feelings.�
I've been there, the past is the past.
What matters is your back and
I'm still your girl.�
So don't let me catch you with too many other
blondes, you hear-- cause then I'll have to
ya know...do something..mighty
which I might not know what this is right now..
but I will.


vampire𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦

Jul 25th 2016 - 3:14 AM


GAHHHH!!
It's really, truly, actually you.
-Beats on you with tiny little fists ( but fists of fury nonetheless)-
How could you do that!! With the the leaving...and abandoning....
And...and..I didn't miss you okay?�
Nope, not one bit...not even...once.
-Looks to the side, to nonchalantly wipe a tear from her eye-
Yeah so...this isn't what you think it is...no emotional reunion here.
No sir.

(Time pauses indefinitely)
So...let's say I did miss you.
Maybe, just maybe I'd consider hugging you..
If...a thing like that happened...the missing...
-Slayer sways back and forth whistling innocently-

Yes!!! We have to get back to our storylines.
It hasn't been the same since you left.
I need my moose.
vampire𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦

Aug 16th 2015 - 11:25 PM


So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.


Cause everything ain't what I used to know.


And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.


There's nothing worse than f�e�e l i n g �l i k e �a �g h o s t.




surgeon of mean

Aug 16th 2015 - 8:30 PM


because you never forget your high school sweetheart







vampire𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦

Aug 7th 2015 - 10:24 PM


The bartender retreated to the back of the bar, where Buffy watched him hunch over infront of a long column of various tequilas. Blindly he reached for a shot glass with one hand while his other hand remained invincible, preoccupied. She tried her best to make out what he was doing and then it became perfectly clear as his body inched to the right to pluck a lime wedge and salt shaker, he was scribbling down something.

On his way back he slid a business card under her shot. The slayer refrained from sharing any type of satisfaction or pleasure. She wasn't going to go walking around Louisiana smiling for any fool who would give her a lick of information. The slayer was carved from stone and weaved from the shadows, and they'd all come to learn that quickly. Louisiana would never know her taste, but she'd know the sound of its last cry. Lilith would be hers, even if she had to bring down ruin to smoke her out. She'd allow that determination to course through her body and fuel her strength.

The time for waiting was over. Buffy was ready to tip the scales once and for all in the good guys favor. She wasn't waiting for the opposition to unveil itself, she was turning over every damn rock till she found what was out there, starting with the crossroad demon that had a lead to a lead so to say. Buffy has extracted diaries from the seventeenth century that spoke of rumors about the damned children, once thought to be text about vampires, but after more translation, Giles perceived it to be a story about a child or children of Liliths and Samaels. They were thought to be destroyed by Gods will, but other stories Faith from a sunken church in Rhineland Palatine, Germany dating all the way back to the twelfth century spoke of a pair of damned children, the only part of the scrolls that weren't charred or weathered by age said, "And so they lived, and so we will worship."

The existing members and sources of the Watchers Council had no information to support the claims or rumors and Angel and Spike had said history had never been their favorite subject back in their day, they hadn't heard anything either, back then no one was lining up to worship, they all wanted to be feared in their own way.

So, Buffy sat down with the only one she knew dated back further than Angel and Spike, Dracula who claimed to have never met them, but had seen glimpses of them through the centuries. There was only one now, a girl, a succubus, her last known whereabouts: New Orleans.

Buffy slipped the business card with the address of the crossroads where she could find the demon that knew of her whereabouts in her back pocket and graciously swung back the shot in her mouth, licked the ring of salt on her hand, and bit down on the lime greedily her tongue lapped up the burst of juice in her mouth to quell the fire in the back of her throat the tequila slid down.

From the corner of her eye she watched on of the patrons yanked back, pinned, and slugged with an uppercut punch to the chest. The slayer beckoned for the bartender with an extended index finger and pointed to her shot glass for a refill, "You know Just once, I'd like to go somewhere, marvel over some beautiful architecture, take in a show, do some antique shopping maybe," she complained, earnest and agitated.

Flipping the shot glass backwards to her lips, she allowed to the alcohol to pass her lips and warm her throat. "But, no," the slayer huffed, sliding the empty shot glass down the bar to the bartender, removing her tawny brown leather coat to fold, and place on the barstool. "Everywhere I go, violence follows."

She walked over to the pool table, "Can I?" Rhetorically, the blonde slayer borrowed a pool stick from one of the patrons and snapped the stick over her knee with the same ease a child would break a wishbone.. "You'd think it learn to sit down. Let a girl have a vacation," she taunted openly to the room. Buffy was about to lend a hand, sliding along the outskirts of the bar, she came up on it from the left, not soon enough though, not before the assailant had a knife plunged into his chest and a beam of light detonated within his chest and poured out his eyes and mouth.

"What the-" Buffy stumbled back, her emerald hues expanding with confusion.

Before she could react the bartender was hurling his body over the bar and charging in her direction. "Okay, not vampires," she said to herself, tossing the pool stick on the floor. After, the bartender landed a punch so fierce the patron to her left bodies whirled several feet in the air and back into a rack of hung pool sticks. "You know?" Buffy circled around the barkeep, her attention fixed on his body as it closed in on her. "You and I, thought we could be friends," the tiny compact slayer mocked, shrugging. She threw her two hands in front of her, clamping around the top of the bartenders foot and the bottom of his ankle and sharply tossing it backwards. Buffy watched his body flail backwards into the air and land smack down onto his chest.

The bartender exercised his supernatural agility and reflexes to regain his composure, back on the balls of his heels, but Buffy didn't back down. As his arms lunged forward to grab her, the slayer dropped quickly, sweeping her leg under him, till his backside was against the floor, and her heel against his larynx, "I'm thinking, the floor is a good look for you." The slayer felt his torso wiggle in frustration, so she dug her the heel of her black boot deeper into his jugular.

A wry arrogance split across the bartenders face in the shape of a smirk that opened wide for her and spewed out a cloud of black smoke that assaulted her vision, spiraling around her, and then evaporating into the night sky outside the open bar. Buffy's mossy green orbs followed the smokes path out the open arches until it was out of sight and then snapped back down to the bartender who was now nothing more than a lifeless body below her. The slayer retracted her heel with a slow uncertainty and scanned the room, everyone had pretty much scattered, everyone, but-

Him.

Buffy made her way to the pool table, "Hey buddy," she called out to the crumbled body slumped against the pool rack. "Wanna fill in some blanks like what the hell those things were and what you did to piss them off?" She reached down to help the stranger to his feet. Ignoring the wave of apprehension her fingers met with his shoulder causing his body to shift against her touch, his shoulder pushing back and revealing his face. Buffy blinked in disbelief.

Sam Winchester.

surgeon of mean

Aug 3rd 2015 - 1:15 AM


Then

One moment she was running, sprinting, climbing, and the next free falling. Panic swelled in Cordelia's chest, weighing down on her perky pink lungs, essentially depriving them of the necessary oxygen, one living eighteen year old body may require.�

The ground below her crumbled under her feet and the blunt metal reinforcements being used to keep the building together now pierced through flesh, shredding her insides to make room.
Before she completely passed out, she felt the paramedics pulling a breathing mask over her mouth. Oxygen, oxygen was nice, always could use some more of that, the thought to herself.

Cordelia's paled skin felt clammy and her lips incredibly dry, check. The long loose chestnut curls she wore down past her back now clung to the slick of her neck from all the sweat. Waves of bile crashed against the lining of her stomach causing her stomach to contract painfully. �Her muscles had reduced down to jello because anytime she pursued a shot to sit up, she felt her body uselessly flail. �A vast hole through her stomach, plugged by a re-bar, probably being the only plug preventing her from bleeding to death.

Go figure, �living on a hell mouth, and the thing that was going to get her was a dirt steal rod, that or the tetanus after. "Help," she blurted in a confused desperation, before everything when black.

"Heart rate decreasing," the paramedic shouted over to the EMT's in front of the ambulance driving to the USC Hospital. �"Starting comprehensions-" the paramedic laid two open palms on top of one another in the center of her chest and applied pressure over and over again till the EKG displayed signs of a heart rate again.�

It was three hours before �sleeping beauty's eyes fluttered open and filled with the cold sight of grey walls in a windowless 4x4 square, with nothing more than her hospital bed, IV drip, and machine monitoring her heart rate and blood pressure.

The doctors had ushered in and out of her room multiple times, poking and prodding at her like she was some science experiment. �Another doctor in a lab coat came to her bedside, "Cordelia Chase?" He asked, reading off her chart.�

"One in the same," she sighed, with a graceful elegance in her honey smooth voice. The naturally-beautiful-brunette squirmed uncomfortable in her unflattering hospital gown, that did absolutely nothing for her sensuous curves. �Of course, she'd basically be wearing a cotton burlap sack when assigned a handsome �doctor with perfect waves of dark onyx hair.�

Maybe that was her first mistake, thinking she could date a highschool boy �and expect he'd know how to treat a woman when he found one."Human resources said you requested paperwork to sign yourself against physician orders," he inquired, monotonously.�

The vibrant twenty-something ex-cheerleader flashed the doctor her brilliant-100-watt-smile. "Well I can think of better places to spend if I wanted the day off school, no offence doc, but as far as spas go, you're pretty much a one star joint," she teased with an honest shrug and despite his professionalism, she made the doctor laugh.�

"You suffered from some respiratory distress and just recently had your kidney removed" the doctor flipped the pages of her chart, his eyes darting between her and the report suspiciously, "you required resuscitation in the ambulance, then laid on an OR table for five hours while a surgeon removed your kidney," he snapped the folder shut, resting it on his hip, as he scowled down at her, the stubborn damsel in distress she was. "I can think of a million people in this hospital I'd rather see on their feet before you Ms. Chase." He fiddled with her IV they set up to get some fluids in her to help with the dehydration. "I'd like to see you stay a while, maybe gain some weight, let us run some more tests."

A million thoughts bounced around in her mind, "I lost a kidney?" Was the one she settled on.
Cordelia could vaguely remember seeing fireworks through the haziness of her dwindling vision, but she thought it had been one of her hospital induced naps, but as she focused harder on the night of the accident she could also recall the distant sound of a buzz saw, "Oh, yeah, kidney," she mumbled with a defeated sigh, now eyeing the walls of her room wondering how many days she had been out.

There were flowers, so, long enough to receive flowers.

Now

What was worse than dating Xander Harris? Being cheated on by Xander Harris.

A mind altering concussion was the only way she could explain thinking that dating Xander Harris would be anything if not possibly the hugest mistake in her high school career. First she had to swallow the hard truth that her popularity status plummeted and now it was basically non-existant, gone in an oblivion. Never, not once, had Cordelia ever been made a fool of and now she was walking around with a freaking gaping hole in her abdomen as a souvenir of the proverbial egg on her face.

Unfair didn't cover what Cordelia Chase was experiencing. Harmony and the others could barely catch their breath from laughing so hard and could she blame them? Cordelia pretty much coined the phrase, "Told you so," when it came to taking the higher ground when others were kicked down. Almost every guy that once went weak in the knees at the sight of her, now toyed with her vulnerability, asking her out only with the assumption she was somehow: e a s y.

Was Xander suffering though? Of course not because you can't lose something you never had. If anything he went from not mattering to being the guy who took the nastiest girl in Sunnydale High down, he was now legendary, and Cordelia wanted to legendarily strangle his no good cheating manhood to pieces.

The absolute worse part, the real kicker, was her heart actually felt broken. There was a real-life-wound where the EMT's had to saw off the re-bar poking out of her abdomen and gingerly lift her off which without morphine didn't feel gingerly in the littlest. But that wasn't what hurt the most, it was her heart. Every one just assumed because she was witty and at time a snob that she must have a Grinches heart, but she was a human, a person, and there was a normal size heart there, a very normal sized broken heart.�

"Oh look, she's off to find the librarian. I hear he has a great AARP," Harmony taunted from down the hall, the sound of her venomous several decimals louder than the clicking of her pointed heels."So, life isn't completely hopeless. At least he'll be able to�afford�a date unlike your last loser�boyfriend," the former 'Cordette' laughed, before striding right past her, not without knocking into her should.

All her text books spilled onto the highschool linoleum floor. "Ninety-five more days Cordelia, than its beaches, rodeo drive, and goodbye freaks," the brunette bitterly muttered, leaning down to retrieve her school things.

"Ow," Cordelia whispered hoarsely. wincing as a stabbing pain shot through her body. Protectively, her hand clutched at her side, paranoid from the extent of pain that her insides may fall out. Her lungs felt like tiny shards of glass were exploding as the cold air filled them.

Only a hundred and ten more days and then Buffy, Xander, Willow, and her crew of deserters were just a very bad nightmare. A hundred and ten more days and she wake up in Sanford, California attending a real honest to god school, and not this zoo Sunnydale Highschool was. No more vampires, annoying slayers, and dumb lackeys just frat boys, sorority sisters, and a reputable degree.�

vampire𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘦

Aug 1st 2015 - 2:27 AM


Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets? Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are. -Whistler�

They're kids really, all of them: the slayers, the vampires, the friends, and the demons. They're lives are just a scratch in history. They have no idea, it's been all playground stuff till now. It's no coincidence that the slayer and the vampire with the soul are both in the fight of their life at the same time. They're being tested.�

The Master. Acathla. Hell Gods. Rogue Soldiers. All of that was minor league stuff, batting practice for what was to come.�

Hell.�

Literal hell. They were at the jaws of purgatory, staring death straight in the face. They thought they knew pain before. They had no idea, agony was about to make all of them her b i t c h . The torture will stretch their limbs like rubber bands and snap their bones like twigs. And if they dared to blink it would sink its rabid teeth into their skin and make confetti out of their flesh.�

They think all the death, suffering, and heartbreak was bad? They had no idea what was in store for them: the torment, horror, and savageness. From now one when they closed their eyes they would remember the coppery taste of their own blood, hear the shrilling screams of their loved ones, and feel the shredding of their muscle tissue.�

Not every battle could end in a kumbaya.�

Sometimes? Sometimes the good guys loose. That's what it looked like from inside the hell mouth.
The Turok Han slaughtered all but four potentials. The basement of Sunnydale high school was littered with the bodies of thirty girls who never stood a chance. They had been over-run. Willow's spell barely completed in time. Faith and Kennedy had to help drag the bodies of Rona, Renee, and Satsu above ground.

Then


You're not friends. You'll never be friends

"I love you," she confessed, all the color drained from her face, as the words unraveled in the wind naked and bare. �

They slayer accepted her weakness, the confession burned in the back of her throat, �but she let it out because he deserved to hear it, the dark-twisted-truth. �Her sharp emerald eyes scanned over his presently soft features, committing them to memory, so she could remember him like this, selfless, brave, a champion, not like how he so often portrayed himself before, vicious.

Deep down, it was always there, �the slayers lust for him metamorphosed, but she buried it, kicked dirt over it because she was afraid of who she was when she was with him. There were people in the world, in her life, that depended on her, but when she was with Spike he awakened something primal, and selfish inside her, and that person she was becoming would destroy everything that meant something to her. 'Just let me go', she had begged him in the past, even then he couldn't see it, she was enslaved to him, and it made her feel so small.

You'll be in love till it kills you both.

'I cant. I love you. You think I haven't tried not to' he replied back then and it took a while before the slayer could grasp the idea of a love so great it worked it's will so assiduously until it compelled every atom in you, even if it was illogical, or wicked, or wrong. Love didn't allow your better judgment to weigh in, love didn't care what plans you may or may not have, it was it's own beast.

A hungry beast, demanding to be fed. Every time she told herself it was the last time she'd �give into her urges, another one surfaced, another itch needing scratching. She scratched until she was raw, exposed, and all her friends saw her for whom she was.

Flawed.

With Angel it was different, wrong, but still different. She possessed an excuse to love something cold and dead because Angel had a soul, so her friends judged her less, and Giles's �scorn was less scorny. With Spike, she had no excuses, nothing to hide behind in defense. Her friends couldn't understand her and Giles's pride in her diminished.

You'll fight. You'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends.

The control she maintained so vigilantly, slipped from her grasp whenever Spike was around. So, she used him, wailed on him, and then abandoned him. All while her need for him evolved, grew, and incomprehensibly consumed her.�

For a while, weeks, maybe months she practiced discipline, and kept her relationship with Spike strictly slayer related. In the last year they spent fighting the first, Buffy only slipped once, okay twice, but it was different because now he had a soul too. She trusted him now.�

It made sense he was reluctant to believe her, how he could look into her eyes and rebuke her every testament to feelings that had been clandestinely surging inside the slayer for months, maybe years behind the scenes of her blank expression. "No you don't, but thanks for saying it."�

Part of her wanted to stay and finish the fight with him. The first slayer prepared her for the reality she may not just walk out of the mouth of hell time and time again. Death was her gift, but Spike was adamant she left and Dawn needed her. �The tiny blonde locked eyes with the platinum blonde vampire intently, chewing on the bottom of her lip, she accepted his sacrifice.

The school was falling apart and �Buffy felt the ground �shifting below her. Every step felt like a betrayal to Spike, but she couldn't afford to hesitate, because there were parts of the ceiling collapsing all around her. The slayer had never been one to abandon a soldier, or leave someone high and dry, while she rode off into the sunset . Buffy's short legs sunk in pits of rubble, the remains of Sunnydale Highschool classrooms.�

Love isn't brains children. Its blood.

Above the hellmouth no one was able to successfully hold back the line any better. The slayer's knee's crippled at the sight of Dawn's body, her screams pierced through the world. The rest of the gang was racing to the bus, but Buffy fell became immobilized in grief. "DAWN, Dawn, DAWN," the slayer screamed, shaking her sister's body like a rag-doll, waiting for her younger sister splattered in her own blood to draw a breath. Buffy cradled her lifeless body in her lap, "Shhh, shh Dawnie," the older sister cooed, tucking her baby sisters loose hair matted in blood behind her ear. "Shhh, shh, I'm here now," Buffy sang, her voice cracked in despair. "Dawn. Just open your eyes, okay. Just...we have to go Dawn, we can't stay here," she cried into the nook of her sisters neck, rocking Dawn back and forth protectively. The Turok Han had caught up with the straggling slayer despite Faith's attempt to barricade the door to buy them sometime to flee. Two of the Turok Han dug their nails into the slayer's back till her body met the ground with a merciless crack in her spine.�

Somewhere in the blur of stampeding Turok Han Faith managed to behead the two that charged Buffy and began to feast just below her right and left clavicle above the breast bone and get her to her feet. Between consciousness and death a melody of howls and sobs played in the back of her mind.

Still woozy from the open wound in her abdomen Buffy willed her limbs to scale the closest building before it collapsed, so she could gain some height on the bus and jump down. Now if it would just stop moving. Every tendon in her legs felt like ignited coals and muscle contracted as the slayer leaped �with Faith in toe from building to building before she finally was able to land down on the bus. Her knuckles became increasingly ghastly as she gripped the sides of the bus for balance.

When the gang finally slowed down and veered off the road to stop, the slayer exhaled, and inhaled as much air as her injury would allow. She and Faith slid down to the concrete highway and limped down to join the gang.�

The conversations of her friends faded into the background as Buffy stared out at the growing crater her home once rested over. �"How did this happen," was the only thing she heard them say.

"Spike," she murmured.

Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous it burns and consumes. Until there's nothing left.

After

The slayer rested her laurel against the rich mahogany desk of Giles in his office, patiently waiting. She had to hand it to him, their little set up in Scotland was pretty impressive. There was the Giles who worked in a library and then this Giles, the Giles that owned a library, in a chateau. How the times had changed. Having money had been someone of a foreign concept with the slayer. She knew how to spend it, the whole making it part, that was the stumper.�

Buffy thought being a slayer sucked until she had to join the working force, then behold the greatest soul sucking vortex that was the working force of America. She still had nightmares about the Double Meat Palace and not even the work, just the uniform. A shiver went down her spine as the memory of florescent orange flashed across her mind.

The footsteps of Giles nearing the office pulled her back to reality. "Buffy, this is a surprise. I thought you to still be in Rome, Xander didn't inform me you'd resolved that matter with Dracula so quickly," the weathered Giles said. Buffy noted the rigid lines of exhaustion in his complexion, right under the pale blue of his eyes. Giles had always been old, but lately Buffy had realized he was actually getting like old, old-- one day wheelchair like old and it awakened a sadness in her she was hellbent on burying and deflecting.

"Yeah I got the books you needed," Buffy's eyes darted around the growing library outside his office, and laughed at the irony of the assignment to retrieve more ancient seventeenth century texts when they already had such a enormous collection. "Because...that's what this place is lacking...more books."

Giles studied her aloof expression and sighed, "Buffy, this all," the watcher motioned �his hands in the air, "was your idea. You wanted to learn more about the history of the first, it's subjects, and demonogy. If you've changed you're mind I can understand. You've been through a lot. I don't think you've stopped to properly gri-"

Buffy held her palm out to stop him, anything to cease future conversation about things she could do other than slaying. There wasn't anything other than the job, not now, not anymore, not ever. She was the slayer, the slayer was what she was. That is all she wanted to focus on. "Oh wanting. I'm all with the want. Book me up," Buffy urged, with a smile she learned to paint on for others. This was important for her.

The First wiped the high school halls till they glossed with her a s s , some could say it was because she was undisciplined. The slayer after her and before Faith, Kendra, now that was a real slayer. At first Buffy dismissed her as a Watcher's Pet, a perfect automaton for the council, and had it not been for Dru, Kendra probably would have gone on to be one of those legendary slayers in the diaries, not like her. What would the diaries say about her? The slayer who couldn't do her job without her mortal sidekicks and died a whole bunch.�

Those days were over. Buffy was serious, maybe too little too late, but the next time she died it wasn't going to be over a lack of trying. The slayer was going to stop waiting for the fight to show up on her doorstep standing over the bodies of her friends and family, this time she was going into the foxhole and lighting some fires. "Very well, where did we leave off? Ah yes, Lilith," Giles muttered, flipping through �a few of the new books she may or may not have stolen from Dracula's lair.�

"Right, she was like the very disobedient daughter of God? Probably heavy with the dark lipstick, eyeliner, lacey garter belts, breaking curfew and all that," Buffy teased, plopping down in an empty seat while Giles paced the marble floors, trying to make a translation out of the text to share with Buffy.�

NOW

The others barely recognized her anymore. They stood speechless in her door frame as she packed a duffel bag for the road, but that was okay. Things would be easier for them without her around. Ever since Sunnydale, they way they looked at her-- Buffy shook her head as the eyes of pity visited her memory.

They wanted to be apart of this, but Buffy refused to let them in. This thing with Lilith, Buff knew it was going to be bad, a sort of bad that all the apocalypses combined they didn't stand a chance again. This was more than hellgods, ghosts, priests, or uber vamps. This was gods and devils. With glory it was about super strength and with The First it was about numbers. Glory had more strength and The First had more monsters than she had slayers.

Lilith was a whole different beast. Buffy may have not been �the best student, but Giles painted a pretty vivid picture of her, pieces buffy could remember from Sunday School, and the rest she spent weeks reading about in any of the books her and Giles could get her hands on. Lilith wasn't just a demon, she was the first demon to ever be created. She was cunning, manipulative, telekinetic, impervious to holy water, with the ability to teleport, possess humans, pull demons from hell, and burn things.

Her friends couldn't see that they weren't kids anymore, this wasn't some after-school special. It wasn't like in high-school when Xander would pick up donuts for everyone and Willow would do their homework while Buffy through some high kicks into a punching bag and Giles told them about some big bad vampires plan to be head hancho. The First was just the beginning, a catalyst.�

Unfortunately none of the books could really pinpoint what the big plan was. That was the thing about books, lots of knowledge, not big in the cheat codes though. All they could gather was Lilith was bad news, held the contracts and deals made by these crossroad demons, but Giles's sources all said it was much bigger than that, Lilith was building an army. Buffy's job was to find out the why part of the equation.�

Except Buffy was more of the punch now ask later type. She promised Giles she'd only be recon Buffy and when things got super serious and she was able to unveil the �hell b i t c h e s �plan she'd phone in back up. Buffy had other plans though, plans that didn't involve more sacrifices made by her nearest and dearest.

Six months had past since she leveled Sunnydale into the core of the earth and every single waking moment since then she had been training, exercising, and preparing for something like this. So, here she was in the French Quarter on the hunt for Lilith in her last known whereabouts. The flight from Scotland to Louisiana had been a rough a one, little with the comfort, and heavy with the cramped sweating bodies. The first thing Buffy made sure to accomplish after checking into the Boutique Hotels was getting in a a good shower.

After a proper rinse the slayer put off taking a nap to catch up with her jetlag and hit up the bar Giles's source got his information from. The petite blonde slayer sauntered over to the cherry chestnut bar at the back of the restaurant loudly playing Jazz music that could be heard all the way from outside. "Shot of Tequilia," the slayero ordered, sliding a fifty across the bar to �the barkeep, locking some pretty all serious all business eyes with the bartender. When it came to hunting Lilith she could just go around pounding every lead like she did with Willy or Spike, this had to be different, it was vital she maintained a low profile, like mission impossible, you know just slayer impossible instead. So, she'd order her shot, her single inconspicuous shot, meander around, and when the time was right, hopefully the bartender would regal her with some stories.
ℱʀεε ƁɪʀƊ

Apr 26th 2014 - 7:45 PM


Dean's head nodded as Cas stepped away. No more words were spoken. Accepting this was not his first choice but it was the only choice he had. He had stiffened his upper lip and put on a strong face once again. Staring on in wonder, he watched as the two forms in front of him disappeared. His hand raised in an absent wave before they were completely gone. The place before him was empty and the skies above him were blue. His breathe now hung in his chest when he spotted the other two down in the valley. Bright Green eyes met with the eyes of the slayer. Hesitant feet made their way down the hill to place him before her.
ℱʀεε ƁɪʀƊ

Apr 26th 2014 - 7:05 PM


Dean felt the tears start to burn again as Castiel spoke. He really was leaving them. Someone he thought would always be at his side. His smile returned but it was heavy with sadness as well. As much as the hunter didn't want to see the angel go, he would never forget him. Before a tear slid down his cheek, he brought Cas into a tight hug. His arms gripped around him tight his eyes closing to hold back the tears. "I look forward to it, buddy." His gruff voice was a soft, emotions weighing heavy.
ℱʀεε ƁɪʀƊ

Apr 26th 2014 - 6:49 PM


Once the embrace was released, Dean turned to gaze upon the angel that now had approached them. A hand clenched down on the angel's shoulder. Cas had come so far with them and they knew they couldn't have done any of it without his help. He had become their family, their brother. He had sacrificed so much for them and Dean never knew how he would ever repay him. A soft smile curled up the corners of his mouth as the angel started to speak. But it quickly faded when the word goodbye was spoken. A glance was shot to his brother before back at Castiel. "Goodbye? Cas?"
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