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About me:

Please bear with me ; Story is currently being drafted and will be available soon. Please contact me for the character synopsis.

I have been writing for a very long time , I refuse writing that is less than 4-8 paragraphs in length. I am very detailed in my writing and seek to write with those of the same caliber.

Sincerely, Writer.
Multi - Novella | Dark Themes Ahead.
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turning into ashes.'s Friends Comments
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Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 4th 2022 - 8:57 PM

His words were soothing. They made her think about all of the times she'd wished they were like they were now and how things just worked the way they did. Still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she was dead. Or some form of it. They both were now.

"And yet David turned out to be an ass. He wasn't as nice as anyone thought he was. It was all a lie." Rowan sighed, hoping he couldn't see her thoughts about what she'd experienced with David right then. A soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips when he kissed her again. Allowing them more as she got to be more comfortable with him. Not that the night and everything that'd happened prior was just suddenly gone. The exhaustion just winning now.

"What happens when the sun goes down? Can I return home or do I have to stay here forever?" She wanted to talk about the things he mentioned but her mind was all but done with her questions. Wanting to know what was next, what was even possible now. Fighting with herself to an extent. Not wanting to push him with her questions and wanting to just be there with him. There was just so much that he'd done that she couldn't forgive so easily. His hand on her back soothed her though. Causing her to sigh in frustration as she looked up at him.

"I know you're used to this life already. To what you are but you can't expect me to just be okay with it overnight. I didn't ask for this and I know you didn't either but even so, there was a different way to show me things. No one had to die. Not like that and especially her. You were just being an ass. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Closing her eyes now she simply stayed quiet. Doing her best not to think.

Staying quiet for some time before finally speaking again. "I miss him. She spoke softly, referring to Caleb. "I'm sure you'd have tried to tell him about your - whatever this is. And he'd have told me. Tried to find a way to help you." And she wasn't wrong. Caleb had always been the one she would go to when she needed help with something or to work out her feelings when they were a mess and she couldn't make sense of anything. Just like she was then.

Without thinking she kissed his jaw, then his lips before burying her face into his chest and closing her eyes. No longer crying but silent. Unsure of what to say anymore. Keeping her questions to herself for a while.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 3rd 2022 - 11:23 PM

Despite their closeness there was no longer any warmth. Not physically to the touch anyway. Her body as cold as his now. Similar and yet so different. In more ways than one it seemed. All but melting into his arms as he held her and allowed her to just cry. What exactly she was crying her was beyond her. Her old life. Her new one. It was all too much.

When his lips pressed to hers she was surprised. It’d caught her off guard and with her walls down. Though she didn’t pull back she listened intently to what he was saying. Somehow and someway she could read his thoughts. See the memories they shared together. He wasn’t lying. And by the third time his lips pressed to her she found herself kissing him back.

”All those years and this is what had to happen for you to kiss me.” Sarcasm with a hint of annoyance behind it. Typical Rowan.

”I’m still angry.” Rowan whispered, looking at him as he looked up. No longer having to worry about what he was thinking. Forcing herself to stop. To try not to anyway. ”Staying away to keep me safe did absolutely nothing. Look at what happened. All that time.” Sitting up again she sighed and looked over at him. ”I should hate you.”

Sighing in defeat, for the time, she lay back and turned into him. Hiding her face against his chest and closing her eyes. Quiet as the rest of the house with no heartbeat of his to listen to. Not even her own.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 3rd 2022 - 10:23 PM

A fresh feed. How easy it was for him to speak of people that way. Wondering how long he'd been that way. Uncaring or unphased. Perhaps a bit of both. Unable to truly determine but choosing not to push it. Not now.

His words shook something in her. No more sunlight. She would never be able to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin again. Cursed to the shadows as if he were nothing more than an animal. But even animals could go into the light. Her brows furrowed slightly and she was surprised not to stiffen when he kissed her head this time. Sighing softly as he walked out of the room. Looking at the window and wanting nothing more than to pull back the curtain and feel the warmth of the sun even if just for a moment but after seeing his wounds she decided against it. Being smart. For once.

Once he returned and got into bed she followed, sitting next to him briefly and smacking his hand as he poked her. Laughing at his words and the brief moment of normalcy. Of who they used to be before all that happened the night prior.

She found herself smiling for the first time since she'd seen him last. Laying down next to him and pulling the comforter over herself. "Why didn't you call? Rowan turned her head to look at him as it rested on the pillow. Her eyes were dark but soft. Soft in the way she used to look at him when they were together. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore and now - this..." She shook her head lightly and looked up at the ceiling. Wanting to keep her tears from falling. There was so much going on within her that she didn't know what to say or what to feel. Lost in more ways than one.

There was so much she wanted to ask and say but words failed her. Her body failed her as well because no matter how hard she tried to keep herself from crying there was no stopping it. Turning and hiding her face as she allowed the tears to fall. Allowing herself to feel at least that at the moment. Finding no other way to release it than that. That or anger and she was tired of being angry.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 3rd 2022 - 9:18 PM

When he didn't say anything and instead got to doing what she asked she moved to the bed and simply sat. Reminding herself to breathe as he cleaned up the mess he'd made. Looking at him as he pulled on a shirt and spoke, nodding at his words because she wasn't going to push for him to bury her friend. Not if the sun was such a danger. Another thing she would have questions about later.

Unsure of how fast he'd get everything done she chose to go back into his old room. Looking through the drawers and finding one of his shirts to change into. Deciding to shower the day away while he was gone. Hoping it would help ease her. Even if just in the slightest bit. Showered and clean she made her way back into the guest room as he did. Not saying anything as he moved about the house when he returned. Sure that he wasn't happy about having to take the body away but it's what Rowan thought was best. Not wanting the body to sit there.

The shock that filled her was something else. Worse even than when he cut her friend's throat. Realizing that it was because he was hurt. And it looked painful.

"Don't touch it. Rowan reached for his hand and pulled it away, brows furrowed. "I would apologize but you deserve it." Her words would undoubtedly hurt or make him mad, or both. But she was being honest. Walking past him to the kitchen again. Avoiding looking at the table and opening the freezer up. Finding the blood bags inside and pulling one out to warm in the microwave the way he had for her. Making sure to fill a glass full for him before returning to the room and handing it to him. "If it helps, drink it. Otherwise, do I need to bandage it?"

It was hard not to look at him. To wonder if that would happen to her if she went outside. Wondering what would happen if she walked out and stayed out there. In the full sun. Shaking the thoughts from her mind she leaned against the bed and crossed her arms. Glaring at him for a moment before her features finally softened. It'd been a long night and an even longer time since she'd been around him. With him.

"What happens now?
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 3rd 2022 - 7:15 PM

Like the old days.

There was some semblance of what they were, not too far back in her mind, but she was unsure. It wasn't as if there wasn't a dead body in the kitchen — blood everywhere, including the wall from where she'd thrown her glass at him.

She was tired though. The exhaustion overcame her as the thirst fought with her to drink. But she refused and would continue to do so. She wanted to yell, make him feel how she felt, and realize what he'd done. Truly realize. There was no more fight in her. Not enough to make an impact anyway.

Sighing, she stood and walked into the hallway. Looking toward the kitchen and choosing to steer clear of the area. Making her way to the guest room. No sense in stopping in front of the door and debating whether to go in or not since she was sure he could hear her move about.

"I want to be here, with you, but, Rowan frowned, anger clear on her features once more. "I refused to until you clean up the mess you made and bury her. Properly." Something she wasn't going to go back on. "I refuse to be in a house that is soaked in the blood of a friend. I don't care what you - what we are. We will not live like animals."

She was unsure if she was coming around. Doubtful. But they were definitely boundaries she was setting because she didn't want to live like some criminal that didn't care for the life that was taken. It wasn't her and it would never be, despite anything Loren said, it just wouldn't be.

Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 2nd 2022 - 8:40 PM

Brows furrowed as he had her go back into the house. Her frustration was clear but she allowed him to simply because she didn't know what was safe and what wasn't. Even if he wasn't, he was the only one with any real answers now. Even if she hated that she had to listen.

Her body stiffened when he wrapped his arms around her and held her. Wishing there was warmth behind the hug. The same warmth she'd felt before but now that was gone. Staying in the hall away from the kitchen. Not wanting to be anywhere near the body of her once friend.

Taking the glass from him and holding it. The blood was still somewhat warm in the glass. She wanted to ask why it had been necessary to do that. If there was a way to do things differently but his words only fueled her anger again.

"I could have saved her?! Are you kidding me right now?! Rowan threw the glass at him. Frowning when it hit the wall beside him. "You make no sense. You want me to just accept this thing you've done to me and you have the audacity to question if I'd do the same to her? As if you don't know me. But maybe you never truly did." She was baffled by his reaction to everything. His heartless actions and the way he was being with her. Questioning if he'd ever even truly loved her or even knew her as he once claimed. Questioning if she knew him at all.

"Who even are you? You act as if the moment you did this to me it came with some sort of f***ing guidebook. You're too busy being an ass and so wrapped up in the fact that you think I should thank you for this to see that this, all of this, is terrifying to me. I'm scared, Loren..." She choked out the last few words and shook her head. "This may be your norm but why does it have to be mine? Why are you trying to force me to live this hell you've lived? You could have told me. If you trusted me, you could have told me and...if you had asked me to spend forever with you, like this, I would have said yes. But not this way. Not like this."

Rowan wasn't sure if there was any way to get him to understand. But she wasn't going to be what he wanted her to be. Not like him and certainly not with the attitude he had. It was all too much and all she wanted was some semblance of normalcy. Even if just for a moment. Walking back into the bedroom and sitting on the bed. Pulling her knees up to her chest trying to focus on her breathing. Even if it wasn't needed. Unsure if it was or not. 
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Dec 1st 2022 - 9:55 PM

She wanted to argue that she wouldn't. Not if she got a chance to speak to her. Convince her it was all a nightmare and she'd be safe at home when she woke again but before she could even suggest that the woman's blood was everywhere. Her friend's blood was everywhere.

The sight was unlike anything she'd seen before. The scream that caught in her throat never escaped her lips as her face showed her fear and anger at the whole situation. Finding herself holding her breath as she looked at Loren. Her eyes shifted to their new hue as she felt the anger begin to boil over.

"Why would you? She was a friend." Shaking her head she stepped back from the blood that crawled towards her as if beckoning her. The tears flowed freely now as she tried to wrap her head around what'd just happened. What he'd done. And what she could do to get away.

She wanted to hurt him. To make him feel the pain he was making her feel at the moment. For all of it. But he walked out of the house and she just stood there for a bit. Looking away from the body that lay still, without a beating heart on the table, and stepping away from it. Backing away into the bedroom she'd been in.

Feeling the effects of her own change wasn't anything subtle. In fact, she felt as if she were on fire and the thirst was back. Realizing she was still holding her breath. It'd been minutes and she had no trouble holding it, so she continued. Refusing to breathe in that scent. The scent that called her to her.

"I'm leaving. Rowan knew she didn't have to find him to say it close enough for him to hear her. He could hear her just fine wherever he was outside. "I refuse to allow myself to become whatever it is you're fighting not to become. You're not the person I love. Because if you were, you wouldn't have done what you just did."

The hurt she felt was something else but she couldn't stay. Not around someone who was clearly fighting to keep whatever sliver of who he was intact. One second he was who she fell for and the next he was something different, something cold and cruel. Something she didn't want to be around.

Where she was going to go? She had no idea. She understood that her parents were no longer safe around her so she would avoid them. Wherever it was that she was going it had to be soon and fast. The sun was coming up and she wasn't sure it would be safe to see anyone much less be out there. Grabbing a jacket that hung behind the door she pulled it on and zipped it up. The only thing important now was leaving that house.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Nov 30th 2022 - 6:51 PM

"Because you were an ass. She responded truthfully. She knew he'd known for years how she felt about him and even after they acted on their feelings there came a time when he withdrew and seemed to not want anything to do with her. Something she still held against him. She'd gotten no explanation for his actions and assumed he'd just wanted to end things the cowardly way, acting as if nothing ever happened between them.

"You don't do this to people you love." Whatever it was, was still unbelievable to her. She was sitting there drinking blood and enjoying it. It was feeding the hunger within her that seemed endless at the time. Despite his words and the way it seemed to all weigh on him her anger was stronger than even that.

It was hard to rest. Sleep wasn't coming and her body felt different. There were too many questions and not enough answers, and he was being an ass. As if he just wished she'd hurry up and get over the shock of what'd happened and move on with the next step. Whatever the next step was. Staying in the cabin as he went out to do whatever it was he was doing. As if she wasn't left there, alone and terrified with not just her thoughts but his. Seeing things, seeing him do those things to others. It was like a horror movie playing in her mind.

When he returned she decided not to sit around and was going to demand answers from him when she saw what he was doing. Who he'd just made unconscious.

"Loren what the hell do you think you're doing?! Her voice caught in her throat but she rushed over to where her friend lay. Shaking her, trying to get her to wake. Wanting her to wake so she could get out of there before Loren finished whatever he'd started. Not wanting to be a part of it at all. "Why would you do this to her? She's a friend and she's walking out of this forsaken place alive." Something she'd make sure of even if it meant fighting Loren herself. Finding his audacity unbelievable. "This. This is what you want for me? To live like you? Hide away and push away, murder those I care for? Some f***ing life." Rowan was beyond angry now. Hurt even.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Nov 29th 2022 - 11:20 PM

Just think. As if she wasn’t fighting the urge to fall back into that bed and sleep for weeks or the urge to drink, but what? The thirst was quickly becoming all she could think about and he was no help. Noting the ever growing annoyance and impatience he had. As if she knew everything when she didn’t even know what day it was

”Did you just snarl at me?” Her tone hadn’t changed much but there was no fear behind her words, only her own annoyance. ”You can’t keep me here. Despite whatever weak state this is I’m in, I'll recover and kick your ass when I do.” She never said she was sweet. In fact her bite was always much worse than her bark, so to speak.

”If this is some kind of sick joke, I’m not laughing.” Even as she spoke she found herself reaching for the glass he held out to her. The liquid was warm and it made her body feel as if it needed it or she’d die. Watching him closely as he drank from his own and shaking her head at his reaction to its taste. ”If you keep doing that I’m going to punch you in the throat.”

Sure, she was small but she never went back on her word and she’d grown up with two brothers. Nothing stopped her and if she wanted to she’d find a way to do just what she’d threatened Loren with.

”I don’t know what’s going on or what you’ve done. Part of me does but refuses to accept it I — I’m tired.

There was more to discuss. Like the memories of them that still played in her mind currently or why her body felt weak one second and okay the next. Why she couldn’t hear his heartbeat or her own for that matter and why she couldn’t stop thinking about drinking much more of what he’d given her. But with everything came exhaustion. Not sleep, no, just done for.

Tears threatened to fall down her now pale cheeks as she looked at him. ”Why me?” She didn’t have to explain what she was asking. Her thoughts were his now too. And even if they weren’t she couldn’t bring herself to speak again. The pain she felt now was loss. Loss of everything. Of herself. Just a loss that she couldn’t explain.
Ⳳⲇⲙⲣⲓⲅⲉ Ⲙⲟⲅⲧⲓⲥⲓⲇⲛ

Nov 29th 2022 - 1:29 AM

So I gave you what I am.

The words played over in her head again and again. What he was. Eyes scanned his for some sort of answer and when it finally clicked Rowan gripped the blanket he’d used to cover her with. Knuckles white as she fought back her own tears. Angry ones.

The events that led up to where they were now flashing before her as if she were reliving the moment right there in that room. His eyes were wild and so full of nothing at the same time. His grasp on her smaller frame held her until she was no longer moving. No longer trying to fight back. No longer breathing.

”What are you?” She sat up, slowly this time. Keeping her gaze on him as he slumped down near the door and the smoke burned her nose. The smell much more intense than ever before. ”Did you kill me? The words escaping her before she could truly think them over but they were true. An honest question. One she knew the answer to yet did not believe as she was sitting there speaking to him. “I need to go see my parents. I know they’re worried.” And they would undoubtedly be as she always called when she got home. No matter the time of night. Except she didn’t get to the previous night.

”I have to go,” She repeated, moving to stand from the bed and steadying herself as best she could. Whatever was happening would have to either happen or wait until she was out of that house. ”Why do I feel this way? What is happening to me?” Rowan wasn’t dumb and she knew or had an idea of what it might be but things like that weren’t real. She had to be dreaming. The anger she felt mixed with the hunger only pissed her off even more. ”Why do I keep seeing you — us as if everything happened just a few minutes ago?!” Her senses were too much now. Her hearing was better than ever and every little sound was noticeable now. Every smell, but the smell of dried blood, that’s what called to her. What tempted her. The blood…

“Loren what the f*** did you do?!” There it was, clear as day. The way he’d disappeared and never answered his phone. The house for sale and him missing while bodies kept appearing. ”We thought you were dead.” Her voice low yet it held so much annoyance and anger in that tone. ”Are you dead?” Rowan asked as she listened for a heartbeat and didn’t hear one. Not even her own.
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