'God it was cold!' I'd heard the winter was going to be cold this year, but I'd never dreamed it would be this cold! Involentary, I shivered again and thought about using the Force to keep myself warm as I made my way down the small and winding paths, which lead through the sprawling hills of the Shire. The only problem with that was that Farmer Maggot had seen me 'force jump fifty metres' over the lilly pond once after borrowing some of his mushrooms, and that well, that had taken a lot of explaining! In the end I'd sorta didnt say no when he and the other Hobbits that he'd told about the incident, agreed that I must be an Istari, one of the 'fabled blue wizards' that had faded from memory in Middle Earth years before. To them it made the most sense, why I could do the things i cound and would suddenly appear in the Shire and disapear; often just as quick. And any mischief I got up to after that....well, they've always just blamed it on my being a Wizard, which suited me just fine!
Thinking about it, it somehow took away some of the cold and made me smile. I rembered holding my breath, so I wouldn't have to say no- or worse lie- about it; but I couldn't help myself, I had to come clean to the friends I'd made about the whole ordeal! It was a nice feeling - just being able to smile- laugh over something so simple and have people laugh alongside you. It felt good real good to be back, and for the second time since I'd landed I was glad i'd come!
The first had been remembering the first time I'd ever come to the Shire; and how Diamond had let me stay with her. This strange guy who struggled to trust anyone, or to let anyone get close. I'd thought at the time she was crazy for trusting me, but she'd insisted that she could tell i was a good guy. I hadnt felt like i was a good guy at the time... I hadn't felt much of anything! It was after I had left Chicago to travel behind the wall and I'd stumbled upon the portal here by accident, as i'd sat in the wastelands watching the sun set over a strange towering rock.
I didnt know what was at work that day, why id been so lucky to discover it, i didnt even know -well - understand about the Force back then, but now, it all kinda made sense to me. If not a Jedi then who else would have been able to open the portal to this place and time?
Eagerly I opened the front gate and cringed as it squeaked upon its hinges before making my way up to the window.
The Shire was always so quiet at night unless of course there was a party- or worse my friends and I had conviced ourself some poor Hobbit or another was in need of a good prank- or miscevious deed!
I wanted to check, to make sure I wasnt going to be interupting anything important before I knocked on the door. Hobbits, I'd come to find out were very friendly, almost all of the time. And the one percent they were not so friendly was if you barged in unannounced or uninvited on 'something of great Shire importance' that they already had in motion but even then they wern't unfriendly.... they were just reserved!
Nervously I peered in through the window of the Smial, and saw Diamond sitting quietly in her faverote armchair. It made me frown. The smial looked just the same as it had the last time I was here, homely and welcoming, But she looked like she was deep in thought or possibly asleep. Gently I tapped on the window, I didnt wanna scare her, but it was bloody cold! She stired long enough to reach for the blanket by her side, pulling it up over her shoulders, before falling back asleep. It made me smile. and I turned figuring i'd try the front door just in case she'd forgotton to lock it.
Like a knife through butter it slid silently open and I shook my head, glad that I had thought to check. It wasn't that the Shire was a dangerous place, well not so far as dangerous places went, like Mustafar for instance...But it did get the occasional bandit or unsavory lurking around, to see what they could steal. And if Diamond was home alone, it was better to be safe then sorry!
Closing the door behind me I quietly stepped into the living room of the smial. The fire in the heath was all but ashes, and soon the cold would start to creep into the small house. As quietly as I could I made my way across tot the firepace and carefully lifted a coupple of the logs from the wood bin to place upon the smouldering embers before turning to look at Diamond. She hadn't stired, not once since I'd walked in. It made me wonder just how tired she must have been and what had happened to make her so..... Silently I made my way over to her and gently wrapped my left arm around her shoulders, before bending down to carefully cup her legs behind the knees with my right arm and lift her gently from the chair. It was true, Hobbits had some of the most comfortable chairs you could wish to sit on.... but they were still not as comfortable as being able to stretch out in your bed! So slowly I edged my way out of the living room and down the hallway to her bedroom. I didnt want to wake her now it would of scared the living daylight out of her! - Waking up to find out you're being carried down your own hallway! Especially if when you'd fallen asleep, you'd been home alone!
Backing into her bedroom I slowly turned and gently laid her down upon her bed before quietly backing back out. Morning would be coming around soon enough... And if she was already so tired, then she really didnt need me waking her. But as I glanced back at her lying so peacefully asleep, once again I was glad I had come... The Force it guides us, each and every day. It is within the choices we are presented with.... It is the decisions we make, and it is along the paths that we find ourselves taking. It is in the big things and the small we do to, and for others!... and for now, I was meant to be in the Shire!
Quietly I made my way back into the living room and picked up her cup and saucer. Tonight I would do her dishes and stoke her fire while she slept.....and tomorrow, well... that was an entirely new day!
“So tell us then, why are people different colors?” The Lady Isolde challenged me curiously. And I just smiled and replied,
“I will tell you the tale of the Creator and Mother Time”
Long, long ago, when the world was still new, and man was but baby’s in the Creators arms. The Creator went to Mother time and he asked her.
“Will you record time for me. Will record everything beautiful that happens within this world I have created, so that I may look back and marvel at how much my world has changed, and man has grown?”
“But how should I do that?" Mother Time replied. “For I can not paint and have no tools to write.” So the creator handed Mother time a wooden box. And when she lifted the lid she found inside, a needle and thread of every color, that the creator had placed within the sea, the sky and the land he had created. And upon seeing the beautiful colors she agreed.
So the next day as the dawn broke, Mother Time picked up her needle and threaded the first color of daybreak through its eye. And she began to sew, she watched the world waking.
She sewed the brightest of greens for the plants, oranges browns yellows and reds for the land and dirt, and the bluest of blues in an abundance of shades for the sky and the sea.
But as she looked upon man. There was no color.
So she did not add man to the tapestry she was beginning to make. And at the end of the day, the Creator went to her again for he wanted to marvel at the beauty he had created. But as he looked down upon her tapestry he could not see man. So he asked her.
“Where is man? Why have you not added them to the beauty of this world?”
And Mother time replied, “But you did not give me a thread for man, so I could not sew them into time.”
The Creator, frowned and made his way over to look inside the wooden box containing all the vivid and beautiful colors of the world he had created and after a moment he turned back to Mother time and said. “But Man is my greatest creation, for he will grow to do remarkable things. Not only will he tend to the world I have created, but he will protect it! So look again! Man’s thread is there!”
That night as Mother Time sewed the moon and the stars upon the sky of her tapestry, she thought about what the Creator had said, and she wondered to herself, what color would man be.
Would they be green like the trees and the plants, for they were truly beautiful. Would they be blue like the sky, so vast and endless. Or would they be grey and silver like the mountains, for they strong enough to shelter even the largest of trees...
So the next day Mother Time, painted man into her tapestry, she painted him the color of the plants and trees for they were truly beautiful.
But when the Creator came to see her work, again he frowned.
“Where is man?” he asked Mother Time again. “I cannot see man through the plants and the trees, you must try harder!”
And when Mother time looked, she saw that man, was nowhere to be seen upon the tapestry she had created of that day. So, she vowed that the next day she would do better.
And when the new day began, she chose a vivid blue for man, because it was vast and endless like the sky. But at the end of the day, when the creator came again to admire all that she had sewn, again he could not find man. For man was hidden within the sky.
So again he told her to try harder and again as she stitched the moon and stars that night she thought about it, and the next day she paint man in an array of greys and slivers, for they were the colors of the mountains and nothing in this world was stronger.
And again at the end of the day, the creator came to see her work.
“Why have you not listened to me?” He asked Mother Time. “Did I not tell you, that man was my greatest creation? I made man gentle enough to love and tend to the world, wise enough to withstand turmoil and time and strong enough to protect it. And I made each man different, to show how beautiful my creation truly is. I made man to be soft like the clouds, to weep like the rain and to sustain life like the soil. How can I show them all that they have achieved each day, or how proud of them I am, If I cannot see them in the tapestry you sew?”
That night Mother Time was sad. How could she have failed to show 'man' so many times upon her tapestry? How could she have failed when every color in the world sat within the wooden box that the Creator had given her. That night she did not sew the moon or the stars, instead she stitched the darkest clouds to blanket the sky and she thought about all that the creator had said. She thought about how diverse man was. How strong he could be and how gentle. How wise and tender. And she vowed the next day she would not fail, for she realised that man could never just be one color!
At the end of the next day, the Creator came to Mother time again. And as he looked down upon her tapestry, he rejoiced! For there was nothing more beautiful that he had created or ever seen!
Overwhelmed, he took Mother times tapestry in his hands and told her that he was going to place it in the sky for man to see.
And from that day on, the Creator would placed Mother Time's tapestry in the sky at dusk, so the race of man could see how truely beautiful they are, when they come together as one!
“But why do we have tides? What is their use? “Another voice interjected from around the campfire.
I glanced across and saw Meagan watching me closely and I smiled. This myth was easy. It was a myth that my Mother had told me as a child, when we’d sit upon the back step of our house in the Abnegation sector of Chicago and dream of one day escaping the factions. Of one day being free!
Why do we have tides...? (this one has true meaning for me- my beliefs placed into a myth- grins)
"When people first came be, they wandered the world lost. They had no idea about purpose or where their lives, or the world, the universe that they lived in could possibly take them; and yet for a while, they were content with that. Content with having no hopes or dreams. Content with each day starting and ending the same way. They would wake with the dawn, and rest with the dusk, until one day a young boy sat upon a grassy mound and looked at the world around him.
For the first time, he noticed the breeze, a wind upon his face and he wondered from where it had come. He watched as it swayed the tips of the grass as it travelled across the land. He watched as a bird took flight, spreading its wings to soar upon the winds currents and he noticed the clouds slowly cutting a path across the sky, guided by the winds passage.
And as he sat there.... he wondered where the wind was going, and what was so urgent, that it would take the clouds with it.
When he returned home, he asked his Mother where the wind was going and what was it's purpose. She did not know... That night, the boy could not sleep. So, the next dawn he rose quickly. Determind that he was going to discover where the wind was going in such a hurry.
He followed the wind down across the land, until at last he came to a vast shore, bordered by water so clear and still as far as the eyes could see. Disapointed he sat upon that shore, knowing the wind was travelling across its surface, but that he could never swim that far and he dispaired!
For the first time in his life he had felt purpose and now he felt cheated. He felt as if the wind had tricked him, and he cried.
The water watched the boy’s sorrow. It tasted his tears as the gathered to mingle in its surface and the water felt pity for the boy. Gathering its depth, the water rose before him into a giant wave and asked the boy.
“Why do wish to follow the wind?”
"Because I want to discover all the beauty this world can offer. I want to know what hurries the winds path so. Why it is not content to stay as we are...” the boy answered the water.
“And what if you do not like what you find, as you follow the wind across this world?” The wave then asked the boy.
"How will I ever know, if I do not follow?” the boy cried back. And the water, paused to think, before asking one last question.
“And what if the wind leads you into peril, danger or even death?”
The boy sat in silence. He had never thought about that. Having always been safe and surrounded by the contentment of others. And when finally, he lifted his eyes to gaze upon the water, he replied.
“Then I would be wiser and stronger. I would have learned more in my life then I’d ever learn sat upon this shore wondering. My life would be filled with the wonders of what I had seen and felt and when death finally arrives to take my soul. I will not shed tears of fear. Instead I will smile! Knowing I have lived a life worth living!”
So taken with the words of the small boy, the water bowed before him, crashing its white foam tips upon the golden sand around the boys feet and whisked him up into its mighty embrace; Carrying him far from the shore and across the world as they chased the wind to distant shores.
And when death finally came for the boy. The boy did not fear it.
Instead he did what he said he would to the water. He smiled. For he had lived a life full of love, of learning and emotion. He had grown from the small boy into an old man. It was the water that dispaired!
It missed the boy.
It missed all that it too, had seen and learned upon the boy’s travels while chasing the wind.
So the water took to crashing upon the shore. Calling out for others to not be scared of its depths, or waves. That if they too, had courage, like the small boy; that they too could travel upon its tides to follow the wind to the many shores of unknown possiblities within their lives...
We all ride the tides, the waves each and every day. We do not always know where these tides will take us. But it is a journey worth taking. It is the journey of life!
And that is why we have tides! To remind us that life is an adventure! We can not control where it might take us...But we can make the most of it!...”
I shrugged and smiled thoughtfully to those gathered around the bonfire listening to the myths I was telling. Now on to the next one-
The flames danced, crackling merrily within the open campfire and I watched them doubting myself. What the hell had I been thinking! What in the galaxy had professed me to believe I could take this mission on? That I could, that I would be successful at it!
‘You’re a bloody idiot’ I mumbled under my breath while my mind was chastised, ‘You should have stayed silent, isn't that what a Jedi Shadows meant to do after all!’
I’d always been more of a warrior then a scholar...How on earth was I going to fumble my way through this, even if the people on this planet thought the term ‘Jedi’ was just another name for Wizard!
But it was too late now. People had already gathered around the campfire, ready for the ‘Oh so wise Jedi’ to illuminate their minds upon the many mysteries of their world and the galaxy beyond.
‘So much for winning this world over as new allies for the Alliance!” I scoffed quietly and took a deep breath, before raising my head to look across the campfire at their waiting faces and stated simply, “Let us begin...”
“Why do the leafs change color?”
‘A myth based upon the Lore of Middle Earth’
"Long ago, before the time of men, Elves or Dwarfs...Before any Hobbit was dreamed to walk barefooted upon the land by the Valar they listened to their Fathers song of creation and set about aiding him in making one the Worlds. Together, they created the curtains of the sky, they created the land the rock and the soil. They created the oceans and the seas and Eru smiled and told them “You have worked hard my children, but the World is not finished yet. Everything in this world, should mirror my creation, the Universe above. Now Eru had many children, 15 in all yet one was always being left out by the others. He was older, Eru’s first born and unto him Eru had poured all of the gifts that he had bestowed so diligently between the rest of his children. Perhaps it was that which made Melkor feel that his brothers, his sisters, did not see him as they saw each other... Why they would not willingly let him join in on their creation. So as the rest of the Valar set about creating the plants the fish in the sea... green grass on the lands and the many beasts to roam them, Melkor watched.
He was envious of their creation, he wanted to create something of beauty too. He watched them create the lamps of the world, one that shone so golden bright bringing light to all they had created, and one that basked the world in a silver hue to illuminate the many stars they had hung upon the curtains sheltering their creation from the universe of Eru beyond. They made the seasons, spring summer and fall. While Melkor watched as their Father came again to rejoice in their work and he felt hurt. Hurt his brothers and sisters would not let him join in. Hurt his Father had not seen this, and intervined or given him his own world to work upon...
Yet again Eru said, the world was not in balance with the Universe. That it needed something more to balance it, for without that, it would never be able to grow. So the Valar set about making Trees. They made them tall and white, with leafs of pure light. And Eru was happy! The world was complete!
Yet as Melkor walked alone through the creation of his Brothers and Sisters he heard the tears of the trees. They wept, wondering why, when the Valar had made the world, they’d places so many beautiful and glorious colors upon its creation...and yet they alone were left void. Perhaps it was pity that filled Melkor’s heart... perhaps it was the chance to prove to his Father that he could create just as gloriously as his brothers and sisters that he listened. That he made a promise to the trees that he would return before the dawn of the First born and ease their tears.
Melkor kept his word to the trees. He returned and he proceeded to paint the leaves of the trees green, like the grass. But they wanted more, they wanted the crimson red of the blood flowing through the animal's veins. They wanted the glory of the golden lamp.... So once again Melkor returned, and he painted their leaves crimson red, and golden yellow and the world was indeed a beautiful place!
But Eru was mad! He claimed that Melkor had disrupted the balance of the Universe with his deed and that now, he would have to fix it. But as he looked upon the beauty of the trees... as he felt their happiness within his heart, he had not the will to take their color away from them. Instead he created another season. One where the World would fall to frost and snow. Where the World would turn white, and the trees would signal its aproach, before loosing their leaves. So, the world would once again be in balance with the Universe beyond.”
I concluded, wondering if I'd succeeded in my first tale- (more to come)
I often sit, watch the people around me and wonder where I fit in.
Sitting in this Cataina was no different. I could hear bits and pieces of the conversation happening around me and one of the thoughts that crossed my mind, was maybe I should join in. But then as quickly as the thought came, it was struck down again.
The Universe was big, words couldn’t really describe just how big; and in the midst of it, I was no one. I wasn’t from Corsuscant, Tatooine or Alderaan. I was from a small planet at the end of the Outer rim.
I wasn’t known for being grey, having opinions that varied upon my mood or the perspective of those around me. I was blunt. Black and white and that was why I’d been recruited as a Shadow in the first place. As in Yoda’s famous words…There is no try, you do, or you don’t. It was trait that had either seen me hated or respected my whole life.
I couldn’t be fake. I struggled with small talk, I couldn’t pretend. I didn’t understand the need to ‘sugar coat’ (as they put it) to me, that was always more damaging then the truth could ever be.
It was like speaking just for the sake of being seen. I didn’t understand it. I struggled to relate to what they called social skills and I knew it made me seem weird to them. Well at least until they took a chance. Took a seat beside me and put away their many masks. I’d never craved power, war or conflict. I crave truth, compassion and humility.Which at times, was the hardest road to take. It scared people. Made them nervous or more then often made them resent you. So many have seen me as a threat because I might not agree with them or don’t fall in line with their beliefs. … I got it.
The Universe is a scary place. Everyone is searching for their truth, a place they feel that they can fit in,. A place they feel that they are accepted. I was in truth, no different. But it made me wonder at times.When they left the Cataina, when they were alone with the demons of their truth…did they feel sad?
Did they wish for more?
Purposely I pushed the empty tankard along the bar and reached across my shoulders to pull the cowl of my cloak down across my face as I rose; making my way to the door of the Cataina.
I am Four. I don’t want to be one thing. And I don’t want to be fake. I can't be. I want to be brave, and selfless, honest, intelligent, and kind, though I’m still working on kind.
Humility… It was many things and yet no particular one, in any order…
But it was all about humility and as I looked at Illyria’s face, the bruises and her busted lip. The way the skin around her eye went from an angry shade of purple to a dull and worn out yellow, I began to wonder if perhaps I was going about it all the wrong way.
I’d never wanted to be just one thing. I’d never wanted to be a closed window with a limited view of the world or the universe around me… I’d always wanted to be more, to see and understand more, to find compassion within myself when there was none. I’d always wanted to face the fears of my truth, no matter the cost to myself. I’d never thought I was special or that I was perfect. I wasn’t.
‘What did you get in a fight over? A bunk!”
I joked dryly, and felt disgust knot like a ball in my stomach with the conformation of guilt that echoed back in her eyes. I had to turn away; I had to keep walking passed her. She wasn’t ready for Dauntless. She needed to start at the beginning. She needed to be somewhere else, where fighting wasn’t an option. Where good deeds or sacrifices were not praised; Where the things you did each day were not to benefit you in any given way, and in that moment I knew exactly what I was going to do.
“You have five minutes to make your way to the training hall where Zeke Pedrad will be waiting for you.” I announced bluntly “And remember! This all go’s towards your final grades. Only the top ten of you will become solders. The rest of you will be placed jobs around the faculty according to your ranking. So if you don’t want to do the dishes or clean the toilets… prove to us that you’ve got what it takes to be a solider!…”
It wasn’t perfect. They system would never be perfect. But it was giant step up from the lead up to the Faction wars.No one was made homeless- Factionless now. Instead they were placed in jobs- roles according to their ability. They were given a chance to rise in the ranks from a janitor to a solider, and drop just easy if they took their position for granted.
I waited as they began to file out of the bunk room, one by one, and as Illyria made to pass me, I extended my arm, barricading her passage with a “ Not you!”
“You’re coming with me.” I informed her dryly, leaving no doubt in her mind that the order wasn’t not up for question or debate.
I had to find a way to abate her pride, to exchange it for humility. That fighting over a bunk, gave her no honour within the Jedi code. That she wasn’t here to fight her way to the top of the rank, she was here to learn how to be humble, how to be selfless, kind even when others didn’t necessarily deserve it! She was here to be honest, honest enough to understand the ugly truth of her pride and brave enough to face it!
“You’re coming with me!” I informed her dryly and lead her through the passageways of Dauntless to the loading docks. I knew the train full of supplies from Amity would be unloading and I wasn’t disappointed. It was there like clockwork, the same time each day.
“Wait here.” I informed Illyria, and made my way between the Amity and Dauntless workers unloading the cargo from the train. I could Illyria’s eyes watching me, it felt as if they were boring a hole straight through my back and I knew she was wondering why I had brought her here. A curiosity that only grew as a middle aged woman made her way out of the crowd to greet me with a hug.
Johanna Reys! She hadn’t changed one bit in all the time I’d been gone. The scar that run along her left check to her right, still crinkled at its edges when she smiled with warmness. It still made you feel completely accepted. Like you were the most important person to her in that moment…
She had been the unofficial leader of the Amity Faction and later after the Faction wars, she had become one of the leaders who had helped to maintain the peace within the community, within our wall and now….Now I was asking her for help!
It didn’t take me long to explain my predicament, and plan to Johanna. She was smart, more capable then most had given her credit for at the time of the Faction War, and she was honest, having been brought up in Candor before transferring to Amity, she knew the truth, and the signs of a lie when faced with them…I had always respected her for it.
I could tell she was hesitant at first. Amity was a community were violence of any kind was not tolerated. Its values were based upon hard work, peace and kindness. The peace and kindness, I knew Illyria had not seen much of within her life. Illyria had spent her whole life fighting, her life having to prove herself! In many ways, she was much like a pet, a dog. If you throw a dog into a ring and make it fight to survive, it becomes vicious. It loses all trust, all faith and it will bite the hand that feeds it. But show dog a different life, one filled with hard work and respect; one that is rewarded by kindness, by love and trust, then that dog will protect you with its life!
“One week!”
Johanna finally agreed and I knew from the look in her eyes that she placing her trust in me. That it was only because I’d asked. That I’d been honest enough with her about the predicament I faced with Illriya that she had finally agreed.
“I owe you!!”
I couldn’t help but grin and reached out to give her another hug as she replied, “I know!” Before turning to beckon Illyria over to us.
“Johanna… this is Illyria” I informed Johanna before turning to look Illyria in her eyes.
“Johanna is the Leader of Amity Faction. They farm the land and produce all of the food which we are so fortunate to have to eat. They live simple where violence is not tolerated in any form or fashion. Where each man, woman and child is equal and treated as such! While the other Dauntless imitates train and work towards their final testing, you shall be spending this week in Amity. You will dress like them, rise at dawn and help to work their fields by hand. You shall eat only what they give you to eat and sleep where they tell you too; even if it is on the floor! Do you understand?”
I paused making sure she understood the gravity of my words before continuing.
“And you will be grateful for their generosity. At the end of the week you will catch the train back here and we shall see if you understand that the path to being a true Jedi does not come from the ability of being able to fight! It begins with the small acts of kindness, that one person can show another….”
Slowly I exhaled and turned to glance back to Johanna. She smiled and nodded and I knew I was leaving Illyria in the best, the kindest hands I possibly could have for that week….I just hoped Illyria would come to realise it too, that she would learn what it meant to truly be Amity and not let her emotions get the better of her…
Several weeks had passed since the mysterious kidnapping of the poor pig Gertrude from Farmer Maggot's farm. That poor pig and her fate weighed heavily upon the little Hobbit's heart, caring for each and every animal she knew, whether it was wild or domesticated; hers or not hers. With each passing day the little Took grew more frustrated about the lack of help, and the lack of concern from the grown Hobbits. Many a Hobbit were farmers, and their livestock was what fed their family, whether by food or by the strength of the animals in plowing the fields. The child began to believe the elders had forgotten, or were never interested to begin with in the retrieval of the pig. Only because it belonged to Farmer Maggot? In Lily's opinion that was no reason to ignore the crisis of a pig-napping- in the Shire no less!
After some months had passed and all but the memory of the pig was forgotten, Lily's furious impatience got the better of her. Taking her little travel sack-pack, Lily stuffed it to the brim with sandwiches and apples, and a slice of pie for good measure, along with a bottle of her preferred apple cider. Then she went to the barn, and drug out her little wagon. Setting her little sandwich-filled pack into the back of the wagon, Lily set off down the lane, a determined expression on her face. If no one was going to help Farmer Maggot get his piggy back, then Lily was going to see it done.
All morning, and up until noonish, Lily trudged along, her poor achy feet a reminder of the duty she had to save poor Gertrude and return her to Farmer Maggot. The sun was high in the sky, when Lily was forced to stop and rest her feet, soaking them in a small pond under a shady tree. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, the child uncapped her bottle of cider and downed a sandwich, and then another. Looking around, she felt a sense of unease, not sure if she would ever find poor Gerty.
The child had a slight knowledge of where she was, based off of certain landmarks she had familiarized herself with on her expeditions with her Pa and brother, and occasionally her Ma. However, the sight of a gate perplexed the child. It was not in the main towns of the Shire, so who knows how long it had been there. "If I was a dirty rotten pig-napper, I'd find that to be a perfect hidey-hole." Lily thought those words slightly aloud, and with new resolve, stood up and, with her wagon still in tow, made her way to the wall.
This wall was taller than many a tree, and it's hue felt like a prison dungeon. Her heart beating ferociously against her ribs, Lily locked her jaws and approached the wall. "Don't you worry Gerty, Lily's gonna save you- or die trying. I promise I won't let you become a bacon sandwich." Seeing a tunnel-shaped entrance, Lily initially held back, but made up her mind to enter. "Don't you worry little piggy, aunty Lily's going to save you." Speaking softly helped settle the poor child's nerves, as she entered the wall tunnel.
Perhaps ten, maybe fifteen minutes had passed, and Lily agitatedly wiped her hands against her dress, shuffling her feet as she tried to decide what next to do.
Suddenly, the sound like a dragon shrieking came from a far distance in the background, and Lily jumped from fear. Shielding her eyes from the bright noon sun, Lily squinted, trying to determine what was the source of the sound. However, it was no dragon, as Lily soon saw. It was an iron carriage, moving - without horses? With a shrug, Lily was beginning to expect weird things from this strange wall- that no one had ever mentioned before.
Knowing her poor feet wouldn't go any further any time soon, Lily did the only sensible thing she knew to do. She would climb onto this iron carriage that was pulled by magic instead of horses.
The exhaustion from walking for several hours finally overcame the small child, and with her little wagon behind her, Lily Took fell into a deep sleep. For how many hours she slept, but when she woke, she did so with a start, terror filling her eyes at not knowing where she was. "I'm definitely not in Bywater anymore. I do wish I were home with my Ma and Pa, and my brother also" she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
Not long after, the iron wagon carriage began to slow down, along with another sound that made her thing a dragon was nearby. The carriage doors opened silently, and Lily stepped out. She shouldered her little travel sack, considerably lighter now that she had ate a few more sandwiches. Turning to her right, and then to her left, Lily could not make heads or tails of where she was. Everyone was wearing black clothing, carrying black "swords" - or at least looked like it to the Hobbit child.
With nowhere to go but forward, Lily walked with her wagon still in tow, having no destination in mind- only wanting to get poor Gertrude back and get home in time for dinner.
In fact I hated all cake! And I was getting pretty fed up with having to pretend to the other Dauntless like I was a cake addict and especially chocolate cake hog!
When I thought about the time I’d had to just about shove a whole chocolate muffin into my mouth and worse; pretend I was enjoying it, it made me want to gag!
I was living a lie! And it was because of that damn pig!
I wasn’t sure I could take another day of it!
Not even the sun, being outside, watching as the initiate’s unloaded the stores from Amity off of the train, could distract my thoughts. I was fixated on cake! And how to get it, get as much of it as I could without drawing unnecessary attention to myself!
It had all started out as what had seemed a harmless bloody prank! Kidnap a pig from the Shire; ask for a simple ransom of whisky! Only one bottle! The cake had been my accomplice’s idea! It was alright for them! They liked cake and they hadn’t had the pig Gertrude holed up in their home for the last month waiting to see if the reward for her return would be posted.
Heck I’d even tried taking Gertrude back, sneaking her out without anyone seeing in the middle of the night, but when I’d woke in the morning…. She’d been on my bed again beside me!
How was I supposed to know she’d get addicted to the dauntless kitchen’s chocolate muffins, I’d began to feed them to her because it was something that I could just grab, chuck in my pockets and say I was going to eat them later…Later…like never!!!
But it was how the rumour had started!
The rumour I loved cake, especially chocolate cake and now I was stuck! Doomed to not only live a lie, but have to share my bed with a hog! A hog who was literally a bed hog!! I’d taken to trying to sleep on the floor rather than have Gertrude’s hoofs kicking me in the back all night, but the smell when she let one rip…well it brought new meaning to the term silent and deadly!! There was no escaping it!!
Maybe I was just so sleep deprived I couldn’t focus on anything else, maybe it was because I was beginning to smell like pig- or more to the point her ‘silent deadlies!’
There was only one thing I knew for sure, and that was, that I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this up! I was living in a ticking time bomb and as I saw Lilly, a small Hobbit child from the Shire, step off of the train, that ticking time bomb began to tick a whole lot quicker!!!!
Quickly I pushed my body off of the wall that I was leaning against and shoved my hands into my pockets as I made my way towards her.
Hey!” I called, knowing I sounded lame. “What brings you out this way?” Even lamer! Was she suspicious? Did she know I was one of the ones who’d stolen Gertrude from Farmer Maggot?
‘Keep it cool. There is no way she could know, (unless of course you really do smell of pig)’ my conscience tried to tell me, but I was really glad I’d shoved my hands into my pockets, because I could already feel them getting warm and clammy as my heart began to race faster with the thought of having to possibly live another lie..
(I'm not sure what this is. I have no words to say...)
I heard once that drowning was peaceful.
One of the most peaceful ways to die anyway. I'm not sure it is. I don't feel peace at all.
How long had I been fighting, trying so hard to stay afloat; struggling to keep my head above the surface of the water...
How long had the waves been crashing over my head in a relentless folly to crush me.... with no moment of a reprieve in sight.
I'd grown tired so long ago, I couldn't remember the exact moment it had all become too much.
I'd tried to yell out, to scream I needed help.
But no one had noticed, and if they did, they hadn't realised the depth of the water in which I was sinking.
I had never felt so alone, within that ocean of waves.
And for so long my eyes, my heart had searched the horizon for the rise of a welcoming shore; a helping hand to pull to safety.
Now I was just tired.
Now I imagined what it would feel like to give in.
To feel the water smother my face as my head sank beneath its surface.
To give in and just cry.
I wouldn't be told to man up! Because no one would see my tears, no one would be there to judge me and the sea; the ocean of my sorrow would be my mask.
I wouldn't feel so lost if I accepted my fate.
The hurt, the emotions, the binds that had held me down; would slowly seep from my body and I would feel weightless.
I would feel free.
My chest, my heart would burn a last longing moment wishing I'd been stronger; wanting me to fight on....
And as I opened my mouth, accepting all the moments I had failed, I would feel my sorrow; my last breath rise, bittersweet within in my throat.
And within those very last moments.
Before the world went dark, I would remember all, that over the years had made me smile...
