Chaotic Intent

Last Login:
April 21st, 2019

Gender: Male

Age: 31
Country: United States

Signup Date:
December 16, 2018



02/17/2019 11:32 PM 

Val and Vince's First RP (Ongoing) Part 2

Starts with Vincent's Post and then Valerie:

The way she froze in his arms reminded him of that night, the way she froze when he first touched her after they were all done. When she didn’t return the hug he didn’t take it personally, instead he just squeezed that little bit more. Vincent hadn’t been good with emotions usually, in fact he often would yell and fight rather than talk about anything. Few people got the concerned side of him, because he had taken all these years to make sure people couldn’t see it. Cause anytime he did he was thrust back into the past, thrust back to the night where he wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t smart enough to stop what he had to watch happen in front of him, the guy that watched his best friend and probably the first person he ever loved to be raped and destroyed right in front of him. So, affection was something he had a hard time giving most of the time. It meant leaving himself open for someone to betray him and it would matter. It was best staying detached from people so they couldn’t be used against him ever again.

There had been people he slowly let in over the years, a little at a time, showing this part of that. Yet the full spectrum, he just couldn’t do it, even when he was affectionate with someone, they didn’t /K N O W/ him. They saw the surface, a surface that he learned to make since he was 19 and in prison. You couldn’t show weakness, not to the sharks in the water, even if you were bleeding from your side. Even though he surrounded himself with people, they still didn’t actually /S E E/ him.

Yet, here she was again, someone who knew it all, that wasn’t going to be able to be fooled by the mask he wore. Knew him better than he did himself half the time, which probably was why he ran from her when they were younger. He hadn’t been strong enough back then, he didn’t have the determination he had now. The regret he had carried for 12 years that he walked away, cause his regret started before that day, plenty before it. The times she would call, and he looked at the phone seeing it. Or when he was drunk off his ass and alone and all he could think about was her and stopped himself from calling. Instead he just fell more into the life, the next woman he could find, anything to stop thinking of /H E R/. The life he led, the things he did to her, he couldn’t see her as damaged goods, and if she was, it was /H I S/ fault. He would do anything to make her not see herself that way.

Vincent’s entire life was about trying to forget that day, to forget watching her as they took their turns. That was the last time he ever truly felt pain, the type of pain that struck you to your core. He had been tortured after that day, he had been beaten even within an inch of his life. Yet he never felt as helpless as seeing her screaming for help and he couldn’t do it. He remembered fighting against Lenny and Richie until the point he was pinned on the ground and forced to look up at the events. Eyes forced to see hers every time she looked his way because he couldn’t look anywhere else. He felt like it was the only way he could even help a bit at the time, to try to give her something to focus on that was somewhat familiar. All the while thinking how he was going to kill them all in the room, even his own father it wasn’t a guess, he was going to end each, and every one of them.

The only thing he ever could do to stop thinking about it even a bit was the drugs he found himself taking daily. The countless women he would sleep with just to try to forget /H E R/ face. That no matter what they looked like at times he couldn’t help but see her. The pain of the tattoos he would get another addiction that he dove into. To sit there for hours and just to fill the drill of the needle. Those were probably the only times he was stone cold sober, so he could feel every stroke of the needle. It wasn’t until years later, that he was finally stopping thinking of her all the time. Body now covered from almost head to toe, and still he was getting more over the years. Though of course, fate or whatever had a funny way of working didn’t it. Just having a conversation, the other day with his new best friend about his old one, and then maybe a week or so later her the f*** she was, and he was back to that day all over again.

It took Vincent years and plenty of failed relationships to even begin to show affection to another person. Cause it always reminded him of her, the times she would come talking to him and needing a hug. The times he had to stop her from crying, tell her everything was going to be ok like a foolish child. Yet, now standing in front of her again after all these years that is all he wanted to do, all he could think of doing, was holding her as close as possible and telling her that everything was going to be alright. It was easy to be who he was back then with her because, she was there too, the same day that everything that was taken away. A sick and twisted bond that they were forced to share due to their fathers. That was their parent’s real legacy, two broken children forced to grow into something unrecognizable.

When she finally started to hug him back his own lump in his throat released with a slight sigh as he squeezed tighter if possible. A hand slipped in a small left to right motion right at the top of her waistline, calloused hand found her soft flesh. The other just held her hair as she began to let herself slip into the emotions that neither of them really got over. When she let herself go for him, they were right back on her bed that night, the night everything changed. He allowed his head to fall and press itself to the top of her own while she let herself cry finally after all this time. All he could think of was wrapping her up and sheltering her from the world again like he did that night. When thinking of it he just squeezed harder, a deep breath taken in her hair as he took in the scent of her that he had lost over the years.

All that was short lived as she pulled herself from his grasp to go right back on the offensive. He let her go when she pulled away, he wasn’t going to force her to stay. He saw her hardening and what she was saying had some truth to it, they were going to be expecting something. Yet the elders, they would expect /EVERYTHING/. The mention of him made him snap back to reality it seemed, and he shook his head features becoming stoic. “Don’t be a f***ing idiot.” He said while he took his phone out and looked at how long it had been since they had called him before he took his phone and snapped it in half pocketing it. “We need to go, you are right I do have to tell them something, but it will be once I get you out of here. They are going to be expecting something, so that means they are sending someone else too.” He said simply, the knew how they operated, it was often him that was sent in these cases.

He shook his head mad almost, not at her but the situation he was thrown in it seemed. He wasn’t going to kill her he couldn’t. Yet they were going to expect him to, and if he didn’t there was going to have to be one hell of an excuse. That was if they didn’t already know that he planned on betraying them, getting out from under their thumb. To become ‘the elders’ so to speak. The old country was dead and gone, the only one Vincent cared about was this one, New York. He was tired of answering to those back in Italy in matters they didn’t understand or were a part of personally. Too stuck in the ways of the old ways to make some real f***ing money. “You worked for them too, they are going to come make sure I am a good soldier. It was an hour ago they called me. They probably think I was at the actual house upstate. Not my penthouse that was a few blocks from here paid for cash that no one knows about. We need to move so I can think of what the f*** I am going to tell them.”

There was something so calming about Vincent for Val. He could at her and ease her worries, he could look at her and she'd be free of anxiety. He'd always had that ability over her, even when they were small. Even when they were teens and she admitted that thunderstorms scared the sh*t out of her. Something about the crack of the loud noise that would have the teen calling him to come over and lay with her. That was the one thing they did. Slept together. Not in the sexual sense, but in the lay down and hold me sense. They'd been doing it their whole lives. From childhood sleep overs arranged by their parents, to movie nights as best friends, to sleeping off whatever party drug or substance they'd consumed. Val trusted him fully even for a girl who had no more trust left, that hurt and afraid little girl inside could look into his baby blues and trust him.

That night after the rape always stayed with her, hovering around in her subconscious. When she'd shake awake from the nightmares, when the demons would be too much, she'd think of him and be transported back to her bed.


Vince's strong arms came down around her and lifted her off the ground. The first bit of comfort she'd felt in hours. Her p**sy ached in the worst way, her muscles too weak to move as he carried her down the hall. The house was empty, her parents had left for a pre-arranged trip, prior to her father leaving her a mess on his office floor. Vince walked her into her room, it wasn't small by any means. Her queen sized bed sat in the middle, her vanity off to the side. So spoiled that she even had a fireplace in her bed room. Something not all kids had, but there was a time she felt adored by her father, that part no longer existed.

"Come on, Val. Sit here for me for just a second." Vince spoke softly, comforting her even with his words. He was careful, tender, gentle. He'd watched the most horrific thing imaginable happen to her and now was forced to pick up the millions of pieces that were left spread out all over the office floor. She watched as he turned on the water. Sitting as she clung to the scraps of dress covering her naked frame, staring off into space. She was comatose. She didn't speak, she didn't react, her brain was in shock as he filled the tub and helped her into. She was helpless, but he was doing his best.

While she wasn't instantly reacting to anything, her mind was still on him, remembering everything he was doing for her. Remembering how he grabbed the rag to wash her beaten frame. He washed away the scent of the mens cologne, he washed away their cum, he washed away her blood. Each pass of his hand calming her mind, coaxing her back into her body. Her soul had left, but every stroke was him calling her back home.

The moment she felt herself return, her head lifted as she looked to Vince and broke, reaching up for his hand as he allowed her to hold it, her body shaking from her tears as she rested her head against his forearm while he wiped away the make up stains and fresh tears off her cheeks. "I got you, Val. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He spoke again as she nodded, sucking in a quivering breath as her tears continued to fall. Silent tears hitting his arm but he never pulled away.

When she was ready to get out, he drained the water, wrapped her in a towel and carried her to her bed. Everything was for her, he wasn't being inappropriate, he was handling her with kid gloves. The way he moved her to her bed, the way he got her some underwear and lounge pants and a hoodie, his hoodie to be exact. One she'd stolen from him one night when they were out partying. She was in the most comfortable outfit he could find for her to help put her at ease.

"Come on. Let lay back here." He helped her into her bed, under the covers as he slid in next to her, his arm coming around her as she laid against his chest and her emotions hit again. Waves that continued to flow through here very time she seemed almost ok. She turned into him, gripping his body as his arms hugged her loosely holding her to his chest. She was so broke, so fragile, but he dealt with it like a man. It was all about her in those moments.

Once he'd gotten her under control, he'd popped in her favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the beast, to help take her mind off everything that had happened. It worked for a little while until he slid off the bed to get them something to drink and her hand gripped him with cat like reflexes holding him tightly. " Don't leave me." She sat up quickly as her breathing became instantly labored, a small panic attack setting in as tears flowed like someone turned on the faucet.

"Val, I am not leaving you. I promise. I promise. I will never leave you as long as you need me." He stared into her eyes moving back into his position, pulling her broken body back to his chest, softly caressing her back to lull her back to safety.


He held her tightly as she broken down, a familiar sentiment for them both. Val couldn't believe 11 years later and she was back in the same position, breaking down on this same man as if no time had passed at all. It was him though, it was always him. Even if she didn't want it to be, even if she wanted to fight it and tell herself that she wasn't that broken girl on the floor. She'd killed two of her rapists and had plans for the other 3. Bigger plans for the one who went first. The one who broke her, who stole her innocence, whole stole her light, the one so f***ing eager to f*** a teenager that he went first like he won the lottery. She'd never forget that smug f***ing smile on his lips as his hands covered her young body. F*** she was sure she wasn't the first underage girl he'd raped. He was too comfortable in what he was doing.

Hearing that someone else was most likely on their way she exhaled with a groan. The life never slept when you were on the outs. She'd lived that life on the streets, even when she was 'dead' to the world, the fear that they would find her always haunted her mind and left her scared to sleep. It was why she was such a mess when they were finally able to track her down.

" F***.. Let me get some things." Val walked into the bedroom opening up her safe as she pulled out everything that meant anything to her. She had no clue what condition her loft would be in when she got back, and there were things in there she couldn't lose. Grabbing a bag as she set it on the bed open and started to fill out. She grabbed a box of memories that she wanted to keep, things of her mother, things of her childhood, things of her and Vince's life together. Stupid box of memories that connected her to a world she no longer knew. She pulled out his hoodie that he put her in that night. Though it was from that night, it was the comfort that she remembered not the actual events. She grabbed a couple of guns and clips just in case. She was enemy number one to the famila right now, anything could happen. Grabbing a couple changes of clothes just in case she was going to take off, emergency cash, her fake id's and passports. She was ready to run and this time she wouldn't be found.

Zipping up the bag as she looked up at him. " Are you sure your place is safe?" she asked concerned not only for her, but now she'd dragged him into it. He should have killed her when he had the chance. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she locked her safe and moved into the living room. She picked up her gun from the table where she'd placed it early and tucked it into the back of her jeans hidden beneath her shirt. " I'm ready..." she said the words but as she did she heard a car and muffled voices from outside her window. Moving over as she stayed in the shadows, peering out seeing the unmarked car, and getting a glance of on of the men cocking his gun as they moved towards the entrance. " We're not alone"

The two had always been that way with each other, even if it had been her who usually broke down in some way. The small outbursts of anger, the way he dealt with emotion, she was the one person that could stand in front of him and make him stop seeing red. She was his calming point just as he was hers. It was funny the little triggers that would make him think of her over the years, and the thunderstorms was always, /a l w a y s/ one of them. He remembered how hard it was even for that year when she would blow up his phone during the storms. Those nights he made sure he was alone, hugging a bottle hiding from his father so he wouldn’t be pissed he was drunk in his house again. Yet at the same time they both lost trust in the world fully, no, that wasn’t true fully, he already didn’t trust it. He knew what was out there, but he had to watch the one person who gave him hope for the world have her hope ripped away from her. She was always the only one he had trust left in the world.

It was no wonder the night of the rape stayed with the two of them, always thrust back into it in their own ways. That was the one thing he made sure no one did in the famillia anymore, and if he heard of it, he killed the person himself. And the elders knew that was one of /his/ terms and for some reason they didn’t really argue it.


"Val, I am not leaving you. I promise. I promise. I will never leave you as long as you need me." He stared into her eyes moving back into his position, pulling her broken body back to his chest, softly caressing her back to lull her back to safety. All he wanted to do was take the pain she was feeling in that moment to go away, he hated her feeling this way to be honest. The more he calmed her, secretly he was getting angrier, though on the surface he was calm. The calm before the storm. Azures stared off at the fireplace that was in front of her bed, his hands cradled her form still. One stroked her arm, the other just held her hand, interlacing their fingers. All he could think about was how that entire room betrayed them, betrayed her beyond anything. Her own father out of everyone.

Though Vincent slightly expected something close to it, he never expected he could do /T H I S/ to his one and only daughter. He squeezed her tightly as she squeezed him in return, the two trying to calm the other down as she nestled into his chest more. “Don’t leave me.” Val had muttered a bit as she hid her face in his chest while she began to finally drift off after a few hours. He didn’t say anything though, he couldn’t tell her this time because he knew she meant through the night. He planned on returning, but he had to go somewhere, he got /his/ father’s message. At least the one Vincent decided to take from it. So, when she finally was asleep for about forty-five minutes, he slipped out from under her.

They told him not to bring his glock, which was why he didn’t pull it right after being forced to watch that and probably make Val’s night even worse having him truly ripped way from her at the same time. Vincent headed to his house, it had been 2:55 am, and he knew that after any big ‘win’ they partied at the strip club. Somehow, he knew his father looked at teaching his ‘golden boy’ a life lesson. He drove like a bat out of hell through the streets, not stopping when he didn’t have to through street lights even if they were red. He got to his house and went inside just long enough to get his piece, only to get back to his car and head to the club.

When he got there, he walked in with a purpose, not everyone was made aware of what /really/ went down that night, so no one stopped him. Only that Vincent, was moving up from the street level thug he had been for so many years. They were in the back in his father’s office playing poker, it was their way of partying. When he walked in, he saw Lenny and Richie sitting next to each other like they always did. Their backs to the door so they didn’t see who it was, Lenny calling up. “Bout time those beers got here f***, you’d think you had something more important to do toots.” His father however had perfect site of his son and saw the look of determination in his eyes while the gun that was already drawn was aimed at Lenny for speaking first. “Wrong.” Then the sound of the gun went off and everyone in the club screamed.

Lenny fell forward limp at that very moment, bleeding through the hole that was through the center of his head. Richie screamed out as he went to get up and turned. “What the fu--?!” Only to be cut off as two shots were let out into his chest that face Vincent. The few of the guys drew their guns and aimed them at Vince while his azures didn’t even look at what he did besides to aim the shots. Most of the time, azures held the focus on his father’s stormy grey hues. Silence drawing in the room while another one of the guys spoke out. “What the f*** Vince!? Why the hell did you just do that.” Another looked to his father who was just sitting there and starring at his son. “Sir what the f*** do we do right now?” The guy asked utterly perplexed as Vince at that moment put the gun away.

There had still been people out in the club. There was no covering this up, and he didn’t care, he took the first step, and with the stare he gave his father he told him he was coming for him. Finally, his father lifted his hand and spoke out, his voice stern. “Lower them down, if he is to be killed it will be in prison it looks like. That was foolish, you knew we had customers out there.” Vincent did know it, and in some ways, it was an added f*** you to his father, not thinking that he was leaving Val alone in that very moment, he only knew he freed her of two of the nine people that helped in the act of her soul being ripped from her. And that was enough. For now.


Val always had been a soft spot for him, so he would always do what he could no matter how long they spent apart t comfort her the moment he saw her. Hand continued to stroke along her back, he didn’t want to let her go, he almost couldn’t. Vincent knew that she likely had plans of her own for the people that had raped her, lord knew that he had a few for himself. He just hadn’t gotten to that yet, he needed to do other things first. Well, now he needed to take care of this problem before he worried about anything else. The male was going to protect her if it was the last thing he did, and that included ending the men who raped her, who took joy in raping her. It sickened him even to this day, it made him want to wipe that smirk off the creep’s face. He destroyed his best friend and for that, Vincent wouldn’t ever forgive him.

Vincent heard her groan out as he had mentioned that there was someone likely on their way. Which was true, the elders would have planned just in case for /this/ scenario. Just in case that they saw each other and were thrown back into their past and couldn’t kill the other. Which in that case would mean they bother were going to be on the sh*t list that she found herself on. She went to go pack, he stayed in the kitchen and walked over to the different windows. Trying to see if there was, any cars that he hadn’t noticed on his way coming into her building. There was a few, but this was New York, that didn’t exactly mean that they were here, just meant they could have been. Azure hues waited and when she was finally ready and holding the bag as she came out of her room telling him that she was ready he gave a small nod. They needed to focus, their reunion would have to be postponed for when things settled a bit more.

A nod given to her while she asked him if his place was safe, as far as he knew it had been. “No one knows about it, minus a few exes and very few friends.” He assured her before he saw her move over to the window almost right after she said she was ready, while she crept to it to peek outside. Vincent pulled his pistol once she did, he knew what was happening, it seemed that sh*t was going to go down a bit faster than he wanted them to. He looked around the room, then towards her bedroom, and back to her. “I am assuming that door is the only way out from, here right?” He asked before he cocked the glock he had and moved to the middle of the room closer towards her. “How many you see out there? Maybe I can convince them you were never here tonight. Could break the door in. You could hide maybe on the roof? I could get you when they leave.”

02/17/2019 11:18 PM 

Val and Vince's First RP (Ongoing) Part 1

Starts with Valerie's Post and then Vincent:

Darkness spread in the absence of light and Valerie hadn't known light in years. 11 years 3 months and 4 days to be exact. Not that she was counting. Not that she was counting at all. In fact the raven haired woman wasn't one to think about the past or try to remember what happened to her. She didn't dwell on it, no she ignored it, locked it away in a vault deep inside her. A vault that was only triggered by appearances from her past. People, sounds, smells, feelings. They could unlock the dark vault with ease, it was why she steered clear of anything familiar from her old life. She wasn't that girl anymore and hadn't been since she was 16.

Her life didn't start out so bleak. Born as the only child, she was sheltered, protected, cared for, loved. It was until her father decided his legacy would fall with her. Most girls when approaching their sweet sixteen are given driving lessons, asked what their dream car was, but not Val. It was about 15 when her father decided it was time to give her a sneak peek into his world. A world that she'd lived parallel to her entire life and never knew. On her side it was spoiled with presents, gifts, & trips. On her fathers side it was blood, death, & darkness. Vile men who made their living by over powering others. Men who checked their feelings at the door and excused behavior with 'It's just business'. It wasn't a life she'd ever known, but it was a life that she would be forced to learn.

Valerie's father wasn't cold before, at least not to her. He seemingly cared about his daughter, but once he decided it was her that would be taking his place something changed. He wanted to teach her that not everyone would handle her with kid gloves. That men in their line of work didn't have a problem crossing a line. She would never forget the first time she felt the back hand across her face. The first step into her parallel life. It was hard, rough, and bruised the inside of her cheek. He didn't hold back because she was his daughter, he instead went harder because she was his daughter. He didn't take it easy on her, he knew no man would. She was beautiful, stunningly beautiful with dark black hair that framed her hazel eyes. Pouty lips and delicate features. She wasn't hard enough for his world, and he knew men would take what they wanted from her. She needed a tougher shell and there was only one way to achieve that in his mind. The one way to wrap her mind around the world she'd be taking over.

Her lessons were engraved on her soul. Her father had done what he sat out to do. He had taken the girl straddling the two worlds she'd known and pushed her fully to one side. She was no longer innocent, she was no longer trusting. Everyone was an enemy in her eyes. She didn't make friends, she had acquaintances. There was no love in her life. Love required trust and her trust was stripped away till she was bare boned and naked bent over a pool table with blood running down the inside of her thigh. A sixteen year old virgin lost the light in her life that day and replaced it with malice and hatred. There was no more mercy in Val.

She lived her life as a loner in her Brooklyn loft. It wasn't much but it was enough for her and her solitude. She was a machine, a woman who did what she was told by the people who made her the way she was. Her father wanted her hard, she was hard. He wanted her cold and calloused, she was all of those things thanks the the Elders. They'd kept her away from the people who broke her, but honored her fathers wishes. That was until they didn't. Maybe it was a test, maybe it was a mistake, either way it didn't matter. Once the job was done she had both men gunned down, never knowing what hit them. Two clean shots in the back of their heads before letting the target go. Her emotions had seeped out that night in the appearance of two of her innocence holders. She knew she f***ed herself, but she'd welcome death like a friend. She stopped caring about her life a long time ago.

Sitting at the bar as she took a drink from the dark whiskey in her glass, the events from the few nights back playing on her mind. She could hear the gunshots ringing in her mind as she watched both men drop dead before her. She watched as their target stare in fear before she let him go, gambling senator who owed them more money than he could ever repay. Val finished off her glass leaving nothing but a lipstick stain on the rim before pushing herself up and heading back home to finish off her night.

Val had figured this would come, but so soon? They really were on the top of their game. The elders obviously weren't very appreciative of the job she'd done, but f***. That was her life. Sliding open the door to her loft she heard the footsteps behind her. Just two as if someone had moved in from out of the shadows. She had no adrenaline, she had no nerves. If it was her time it was her time, and she'd leave the world gratefully. She didn't even turn as she stood with her back to the figure behind her. Speaking to the person with only ever hearing his footsteps.

" Damn, like a f***ing dog on a leash. Already have you cleaning up the mess. They made their point." she chuckled humorlessly as she eased her hand into her purse trying not to move too fast. " If you're gonna do it do it now. I won't even fight you. Better yet, lets play a game..." It was a lie. She'd reached in her purse pulling out her Beretta giving him a moment before she turned quickly, all in the same motion had her hand on the trigger, the gun cocked, and it pointed straight at him, the few feet between them was the only thing keeping the gun from his being in his face. "It's called nervous. Now tell me are you nervous?"

The past something that was better left where it was, the past, something that Vincent struggled with almost every day. When things went silent that was when it would start, the flashes of yesterday, the sh*t that no one ever /W A N T E D/ to think about. The sh*t he had seen, done, the sh*t that made the average man crumble to be less than what he was. He kept himself numb most of the time, drugs, women, fast cars, anything really that got his adrenaline running. Even now the numbing of his face had been present as he took a swig of the golden liquid in his glass. The thick smell of the Jack in the air as Azure hues pierced out the window of the penthouse apartment. Looking over the city that had become in many ways /his/ city, at least that is what he wanted, to be the one that controlled the hidden cogs of the criminal underworld.

That was the endgame, the plan that was set in motion on the very day that cursed his memory for the moment. He kept people at arm’s length, it was easier, safer for him. It kept him from getting hurt or letting people see the sides of him that few saw even parts of. And that was all they saw, the parts he allowed them to see, some seeing more than others. One of those few that had seen more than most had been the reason he started thinking of it more. Not that he didn’t think of the day every so often, but after eleven years it wasn’t thought of as much. The conversation he had with Sicily caused him to spiral down into thinking of the night. Whenever he wasn’t around the noise of other people /S H E/ was all he could think about. The way her father came up to him and asked if he wanted to do it, if he wanted to be the one to rape his daughter and take her then as his wife to be. Another long swig from the glass was taken trying to drown the thoughts.

Why did he have to think about it now of all times, it wasn’t time for him to go after the five of them yet. He hadn’t forgotten, he didn’t forget that it was his purpose of even being in the position of power that he was in. He needed it for that endgame, for being able to make every one of those f***ers that destroyed her life. He already made Lenny and Rich pay, ending their lives that very night because they were his dad’s guys. Guys he worked with every day for years, that had taken him under his wing to ‘teach’ him the ways of streets. The way the Familia had been, to teach him to be harder than he was. I guess they never expected to have a 9mm bullet go through their dome piece by the very person they help ‘raise’.

Vincent started to shake his head trying to kick the memories from his thought, her screams for him to help her. For anyone to help her, to the point where she just gave up and her eyes whenever they did meet his looked dead inside. He wanted to stop thinking of it, yet he couldn’t, it was all he could think about and he hated it. Why the f*** did he bring it up was beyond him, but he had and it had been a can of worms ever since. Though the thought was short lived as the telephone finally rang, downing the rest of the glass it was like he was snapped from the trance, voice stern as he picked up the phone and only half of the conversation could be heard. “Hello?” They were short, they were always short, and it was yet another thing that pissed him off, it always pissed him off. “Alright, I will check it out and take care of it tonight then, I will have.” He was cut off and the frustration was evident on his face as he clenched the glass tighter. “Right, got it, I will take care of it myself.”
F*** he hated having to say those words, to have to still do whatever the f*** these people said. He was a pawn to them and that was what probably pissed him off the most. Even after Eleven years he was still just a f***ing grunt to the people who had been above him. The phone was hung up and tossed to the desk as he turned to it and took a seat down opening the laptop that was there. It didn’t take long till he opened the email that had all the information that he was going to need. The address hadn’t been that far really, it was only a few blocks really. There wasn’t anything else besides a picture, one that had a familiarity to it, that he couldn’t quite place. She was a looker that much was for sure as he stroked his beard with inked fingers staring for another few minutes. Why the f*** did it matter to them that he handled this personally so much.

It didn’t take long for him to get to her place, he had waited around the corner of the hall so he wouldn’t be seen when she went to her apartment. Yet he was 6’4” frame wasn’t exactly easy to hide or be quiet with, his foot steps heavier than most as he approached. That was when he noticed it, she became too calm with what she was doing. That moment where you could tell that the other person was aware you were there. The hammer of the glock 19 pulled back as the sight was brought to his eye and he braced himself behind the gun. The way it was held you could tell he wasn’t just someone who was from the hood trying to look cool. No, he held it as if he had done it before, was a marksman with it even, like he wouldn’t miss or hesitate. Yet her voice, it shook him for some reason, like there was something pulling at him from the inside.

Vince had killed with his bare hands before, to where he choked the life from a person and watched the light die out in their eyes without batting an eye. He had guns pointed to his head and told people to pull the trigger while deadpan staring the person on the other side of it. Yet when she turned and faced him, he froze for just a split second and didn’t know why, before he shook the thought from his head he was on a job. Partly her words had rattled him, he hated being at the elder’s beck and call like this, like he always had been. But when she faced him with the gun up it was like it all came back her words reaching his ears. “Nervous? Me?” He said in a stern tone, trying to cover up that moment of hesitation while azures tried to adjust to the darkness. “You might want to put that f***ing gun down right now.”

He said the pistol still held in both hands firmly in front of him, unable to get her voice from his head, why the f*** did her voice matter. It was familiar, too familiar and it pissed him off, gun pushed out forward to show he was serious. “You know they sent me then you already know you f***ed up, you killed someone within the family. That sh*t is against the rules, trust me, they don’t take kindly to the people who do that.” He said with a bit of a chuckle at himself, his first few months of prison had been hell. The Familia made sure he knew he had wronged them by killing his father’s men, throwing beatings down constantly till finally he struck a deal about six months in. A deal that changed the entire course of his future and put him in /H E R/ apartment out of anyone’s. As if it was some twisted check of his loyalty was truthfully was with them, that is if he was even able to figure out why she looked so damn familiar.

Valerie had been in this position before. She'd found herself gun to gun with a man playing chicken with bullets. Who could shoot first? It was a draw, but to her there was no losing when it came this game of nervous. There was no losing whether she died or walked away. Her life wasn't her own. She didn't own her actions, she didn't own her soul. So much of her had been stripped away, leaving her in the facade the dressed her up in. She didn't even know who she was anymore. The only part of herself she ever knew was the girl who's innocence was ripped away, shared between men as every man she every trusted betrayed her all at once.

When she stared at the man she didn't recognize him. Probably some solider no body coming to do the dirty work. Someone they were trying to move up in the ranks and this was his initiation. She watched him flinch. She'd been around enough men with guys to see when someone lost their edge even for a second. "This gun isn't going f***ing anywhere. The only way its going down is if you happen to catch a lucky shot." She stated bluntly as her eyes were fixated on him. She didn't fear the power that was in her hands. She didn't fear the barrel staring back at her and that made her a dangerous person. There was no one more dangerous than someone who had nothing to lose.

He covered himself nicely and there was expertise in his stance. She studied her target as she kept her arms steady, her gun ready to go off at a moments notice. The smirk of a pleasure crossed her lips as he said she killed someone in the family. She knew exactly what she'd done. She knew exactly what she was doing. There was no worst case scenarios for her. " Well to be honest the two f***ing pricks deserved it..." her words played on her lips continuing the banter between them. She continued to study the man, tall, blonde hair, tats every where she could visibly see, and those blue eyes. He was someones kid. She'd seen those eyes before, many times. Eyes that felt oddly comforting despite her gun being pointed at him ready to take the light from them. "...and I was nice about they way they went. Quick... Easy... Believe me when I say they f***ing deserved more than the execution they got." There was passion in her voice as she felt the emotions of just the thoughts try to pull her out of her stance. Her chest burning with rage for the two men. She f***ing hated them, hated what they stole from her, and even dead, she didn't get it back.

As the memories of her past peeked into her mind, flashes of that night hitting her to fuel the rage, she was struck by something else. Those blue eyes were striking and familiar. Those blue eyes were... his. She knew them, a different version of herself had searched for them. Just like that she was pinned against the pool table as her legs had turned to jello. Guy number three taking his place behind her as he grabbed her small hips and pulled her body roughly into his. Her eyes found Vince's and it was the last thing she'd seen before the light went out, before she gave up on everything and that innocent girl that was holding of for dear life vanished. Her heart raced at the realization as she stared into his eyes and her hand gripped the gun tighter just for support. Like holding it was some how keeping her legs stronger.

She was lost in the memory, froze by the thoughts invading her mind as she trembled for a moment fighting to even say his name. " Vince?" she managed to squeak out, so soft she wasn't even sure he heard her. What kind of f***ing karma was this? The elders knew that he was the one person she didn't want to see. There was so much blame she'd placed on his memory to keep herself away. He was the link to the past. He was the trigger that could make her lose herself. Her teeth gritted as she waited for a response that she knew she didn't even need. It was him. She could pick those eyes out of a line up.

Valerie's chest heaved for a moment as the flood of memories started to consume her mind. This was why she had to stay away and now as punishment they brought him to her door step. This was her punishment for killing those two rapist bastards. " F***" she muttered under her breath as she lowered her gun, still keeping it her fingers on the trigger as her free hand ran through her dark locks pushing them back as she looked up to nothing in particular and let out a frustrated " F***"

They were both in the same boat, they hadn’t known it, but they were just the same coin different sides. Vince died in a lot of ways that day, seeing her raped, carrying her after they were done, and everyone left only the two of them in the room on the ground staring at each other. Vince having to pull himself together the best he could, having picked her up after the men had been done. He took her to the bathroom, and managed to get her to shower, change into her night cloths. He even carried her to the bed as she clung to him like a child to someone, they were familiar with and had been scared. He stayed with her till she slept, and it was then that was the last time he would have seen her. Seen who had more of an impact on his life that he would ever openly admit.

Ever since that day he had pulled that mask down and never looked back. He was ok with death; the reaper could call right now, and he would go with open arms ever since that day. There was something in that which brought an eerie peace over him in these situations. So, it was no wonder why he was able to collect himself so quickly, but there was no way she had missed it. She was quick to respond, and quickly said that she wasn’t putting the gun down at all, which caused his smirk to grow. “Luck won’t have nothing to do with it when I put you down.” He said plainly to her, voice still stern showing he was meaning business. Yet she didn’t even f***ing blink, which was something he could expect with dealing with someone who just took the lives of people within the Familia. Not knowing yet who it had been that she killed, just that she had and there was blood needed for retribution.

The woman was confident, even if it was just a façade she had on the outside for him to see at the moment. She was even f***ing wearing a smirk and she was how tall he was in comparison to her standing at his 6’4”? Then she even had the stones to say that they f***ing deserved it with a tone that was clear she didn’t regret it. “Nice about it huh? I don’t care if it was quick. I don’t care what had happen to be honest. This is business and you understand being in the position you were in.” Which all he really knew was that she was someone that was sent to meet with a pair to get information on a target. And instead of the target getting it from her, this sexy number happen to get the drop on the novices. While his piercing baby blue hues stared through to the hazel ones that looked back at him. She sounded too passionate about it, like her reason was clearly something she felt strongly about. ‘Why the f*** did those hazel eyes look so familiar’, ‘why did she look so familiar’, the thoughts ran rampant on the inside, but nothing showed outside, the male’s face stoic, and stern.

That was when he saw it, the faulter she had hidden behind the once determined and sure eyes she had. Like the world she knew it was slowly crashing around her, and he was the focal point as she stared into his eyes. Yet little did he know she was no longer in the room they were in, she was in the night neither of them would ever forget so long as they lived. He saw the gun get gripped tighter and Vincent braced himself, prepared to fire if he saw that finger move just a bit too much by the trigger. Yet, she wasn’t seeing him, at least not the him from today as she relived those moments. Her voice was barely audible then, it was like she was almost scared to say his name. As if saying it was going to break the world as she knew it around her. Yet it was once again familiar, it made his brow raise as he stared at her in clear curiosity.

Why was it familiar, why could he not place it, it was irritating so much so he gritted his teeth some as he tried to figure it out. That was when she started breath heavier, having what looked like a borderline melt down. That’s when he started asking himself why they wanted /him/ of all people to do this. What was so f***ing special about the person in front of him that he had to go take care of it, right away at that. Then he heard her scream f*** out, not once but twice and it was then it came rolling over him like a wave. “No.” He said voice shaky a bit, the gun that was held to her lowered a second and then pointed back at her as he tried to get a grip on himself. That was impossible, it wasn’t her, there wasn’t any way it could be her, yet in some of him he knew. “It…No..” He said shaking his head disbelief while the gun not only lowered but dropped from his hand. “Valerie?”

Her pulse was beating so rapidly she could feel the veins trying to escape her neck. Why would they send him of all f***ing people? They knew what they were doing. They knew that she wouldn't be able to kill him back. They knew that this would be the straw that broke the camels back. She had gone rogue, though part of her hoped for a quick death of retribution when she did. She hoped that maybe they would end her suffering and she would be able to finally find peace. It was exhausting constantly living in a world you didn't feel you belonged. There were times when she'd be lying in bed that she'd wonder why she didn't just end it when she had the chance. Faking her death didn't solve anything. She was under their control a measly three months later, and of the three months she was free she was such a basket case she could hardly handle reality. She'd reached a low point when they found her and brought her back. The Elders promised they were on her side, they granted her anything she wanted. She had two request. She didn't want to ever have to work with the men who had broke her and she didn't want to see Vince. He needed to know that she was gone and never coming back.

In a way it was true. In a way she didn't come back. She didn't have the same spark she once had when he'd known her years ago. Before she could flirt, she could command the attention of a room, she could stand out in the crowd. Now all she wanted was to disappear, blend in, stay in the shadows of life. It was no way to live, but if she had to live she wanted to be anonymous.

He said her name and it was like the wind was knocked out of her and she was taken back. Those memories she'd suppressed were now showing on the big screen in her mind, reliving it all over again. The issues she had that she never dealt with surfacing as if brought to life but the soft whisper of her name. Her chest heaved as she turned, hanging her head for a moment as her free hand gripped the door and she tried to catch her breath. She was no longer 27, but 16 being held down against her will as she screamed for help, pleaded for them not to do this. Her eyes shot from her father, to his father, to Vince. He was being restrained, fighting the vice grip the men had on him as she kicked her legs, fought with everything in her. She felt her panties ripped from her body, she felt the first man step up behind her with no warning. He wasn't gentle, he wasn't careful, he didn't care for her well being at all. In one quick thrust she broke, as her hands went to fists so hard her nails had drawn blood from her palms. The worst moments of her life being played all over again as if it was fresh.

She couldn't catch her breath as her chest refused to work. She replaced the hammer on the gun as she used the wall to support herself. Her free hand came to her throat holding it to try and bring herself down and slow her breaths. "No." she replied finally to him. " She's dead." she managed to get out as she exhaled trying to control her breathing through her panic attack. She'd had these before, too many times to count. Usually at night when her bad dreams became a reality and her conscious couldn't keep her vault locked. " Just do it.... F***ing end me." she stated as she turned with her arms open. " Do it for real this time." She was breathless in her words as she turned and stared back at him. That snarky bitch fighting to resurface and knock the weak bitch back down where she belonged. Buried.

"I can't believe they sent you." she scoffed as her eyes refused to meet his. All the anger she'd built up remained as she got her emotions in check. Val chewed the inside of her cheek as a nervous habit. " They're f***ing twisted, I swear to god." she was angry with them, angry with him. Angry with life. She was a roller coaster of emotions feeling everything at once as she was confronted with the past she left behind. He was never supposed to know, he was never supposed to see her, he was never supposed to be in her life again.

Azure hues had been in utter disbelief as he just stared over at her, unable to find the words. They knew, the elders knew of their past, so why would they have sent him of all people. Why the f*** did they think that he could do it, they knew all the lengths he went to so he could kill her father. So he could but some sort of closure to that night, that night where he had changed to a cold calloused son of a bitch he had been now. They really knew what they were doing, they wanted to test his loyalty, like they always had. They wanted to see him put down the person that had changed him more than anyone else in his history. The elders using this to see where his loyalties really laid, was it with them or his broken past that they picked him up from. Little did they know it was all his own ploy to be able to be invaluable enough so when he finally did find and kill the five that had taken their turns the elders would have been none the wiser. Yet that was plans for the future, this was now, and this was f***ed. They really thought he could do it, could kill /H E R/.

No they must of known, they knew he couldn’t do it, they knew that there wasn’t a way he would be able to pull the trigger. Or maybe they were hoping that he wouldn’t have hesitated, and just taken her out without even talking first. He wasn’t sure what they were after, all he did know, was he couldn’t do it anymore. He wasn’t going to be able to pull that trigger, in fact, she was one of the few people that he would turn it against them for. Someone he had thought to be gone forever, someone he thought he let down beyond all repair, yet here she was. Standing right in front of him. Breath was a bit uneven but for the most part he was trying to keep himself together, though the shock on his face didn’t fade.

Gun on the floor of the hall, and when she was reliving her past, he was slowly inching towards her. Right hand that had held the pistol and was just aiming it at her a moment before had reached up, as if he was about to touch a ghost or something. She was spiraling and he was just in his own trance, unable to fully wrap his head around that she was alive and here right in front of him. He was almost at her before she finally began to speak which caused him to freeze in place. His face became perplexed as she turned and fully to face him and started to speak. The words that she spoke, as she told him to do it, he couldn’t even find the words which had been rare for him. “What?” His tone obviously confused at the fact she would even think he would do such a thing.

Another step and his hand went back up while he spoke, his voice just loud enough for her to hear as he got even closer. Leaving only about three feet between them with his right arm closing that gap just a bit though he paused still. His hand up showing that he wasn’t trying to be hostile as he swallowed and finally was able to start processing it all, what she was saying to him, and she was right. They /W E R E/ twisted. “Val you got it all wrong.” He said hesitantly as he shook his head and his azure hues were softer as he tilted his head some. “You, you were supposed to be dead. I didn’t know that you were here. I mean.” He shook his head again not believing himself right now. “I didn’t know you were alive Val, like, everyone said you were dead.” He said still unable to believe that she was standing right in front of him, yet she thought he would bring harm to him.

He took a deep breath and then turned so his entire chest was facing her, hands lifted to either side of him as he spoke quietly. “I was in prison, they told me you were dead, they had the funeral even.” He continued, now talking he couldn’t stop, his voice even got caught in his throat every now and then. “Why didn’t…didn’t you come find me, let me know?” He asked the only thing he really cared about, because he got hiding from certain people, but him of all people. He didn’t know what would make her want to stay away from him, when he would of done anything he could of to see her again.

The elders were playing games with them, toying with their emotions, testing their loyalty, and using them like puppets. They knew that Val would expect someone, who she'd never be sure, but the last person she'd ever expect was him. It was a good play on their part, the one person who could get her so weak she'd lower her gun with enough time for him to get the kill shot. Or visa versa. He'd be so stunned and her anger would surface fast enough for her to do their dirty work. Their motive was unclear, but this was an obvious set up. There was no such thing as an oversight, not with something of this magnitude.

She may have been hidden from her, but she was not hidden from him. She knew of where he'd grown with in the ranks of the Familia. She knew his territories and what to steer clear of. It was her choice to leave him in the past with her troubles not let him in on her secret. Maybe it was wrong, and maybe one day she'd regret it, but not today. There was something to be said for the way grief and anger work. In her young mind at the time everything made sense. When he went to jail he left her. He left her alone in a world that had been so cruel with a new found mistrust for anyone around her. She'd spent three months on the run sleeping on the streets, sleeping in unlocked parked cars, shelters, wherever she could find a place to attempt to rest her head. When they'd tracked her down she was suffering from exhausting and post traumatic stress. She was a raw nerve exposed to the world just trying to survive. It was the lowest place she'd ever been in her life and irrationally she blamed him for parts.

She blamed him for the years of knowing the life he was headed to and not telling her about it. She blamed him for the year he decided to vanish from her life. The year that he could have told her to get out to get away to go anywhere but there. Instead he stayed away from her like she'd come down with leprosy and he was scared to catch it. When she had her doubts about what her father was teaching her, showing her, she needed him. She needed to vent, but calls went unanswered and she never really knew why. She didn't know why he'd chosen then to push her away. He was her best friend and then he was nothing. It was like he didn't exist, so when it came time for her to vanish, she did. Petty maybe, but she was hurt, hurting, and suffering from a pain from which there was no escape. Everyone was a target for her blame as she tried to make sense of what happened to her.

Val could hear him try and rationalize what was happening. As far as he knew she was ghost or he was dead and dreaming. He was processing so loud she was sure she could hear the wheels in his head turning. She stared at him with a serious expression as she nodded. " I know. I did it. I was dead to everyone, and then to only some." she was cold in her return as that resentment started to expose its self. The irrational blame she'd placed on him when trying to answer questions that would never have answers.

She watched as he turned towards her, hands up, but moving in forcing her to take a step away. " You were in prison after but where were you before..?" the anger laced words leaving her lips as she stared at him with a furrowed brow. " Where were when I actually needed you? For a year you were just gone. I was nothing to you and then you pop up on the worst day of my life. WHERE WERE YOU?" emotions had taken over her features as a single hot angry tear trickled down her cheek. " You didn't tell me to run, you didn't tell me to stop what I was doing. My father pulled me into this world, a world you knew about.. a world that..." the words caught in her throat as she get the word raped out. "You were my best friend, I trusted you the most, and you.. why? Why did you...? What did I do to push you away?" She was spitting out rapid fire questions as she shook her head a few more angry tears leaving her ducts.

" I was dead... ' she stated as she wiped her cheeks. " I'm still dead." sniffing back the emotions as she turned and walked into her apartment assuming he'd most likely follow.

The fact that they had put him in this position had infuriated him to no end, which wasn’t exactly wise with how much of a wild card he truly was. They didn’t know of his plans to get out from under their them, or maybe it was, and this was their way of saying prove yourself. If that was the case it could mean someone on his inner circle was snitching to the elders themselves. Though the only two people that knew about what he /R E A L L Y/ was planning, so that would mean one of them betrayed him. That was a big if though, they could just be testing his loyalty, which was something they often tried to do with their higher ups. Though it wasn’t a mistake that he was told that he needed to handle it personally.

The night that it all changed he didn’t think about it when she slept, he just knew that he could end some of the people that helped with it and he lost it. Only to end up in prison the next day, killing them in the middle of his father’s club in front of people. He had remembered hearing it, the day she died, it broke him further than he already had been. That was the day he set in motion becoming not only a high-ranking member of the Familia but the man in her father’s position. At the time though he had been in the same position she found herself in now, he had killed two members. Not only that, but he killed two of the lieutenants that his dad had under him. It was a mess that took blood, sweat and even a few tears. They were gunning for him for months but was managing to stay out of their sights completely. That was until someone who owed him a favor and gave him the list to the other targets, they had which they needed to be assassinated.

Taking the entire list out over the course of a month just to get on their good graces and get an ‘audience’ even. All of it cause of his guilt he felt over what had happen to her, because he knew that he could of done things differently, he could of warned her. He could have saved up and took her out of the life even. Yet he was taught he wasn’t going to be able to do anything but the life, and he wanted to keep her out of it never thinking her father would introduce her to it. It was all going on without his knowledge or he would have done something differently. Those what ifs, they plagued him always, he always wished he had done something differently when it came to her. Yet he listened to his father when he told him to cut his ties and not to drag her into the life if Vince really cared for her. What a joke, they probably noticed how protective he was of her about it all, when really her father wanted her to learn the world without Vince’s interference.

Her voice, it snapped him out of it while he listened to her speaking, it was like hearing a song you used to listen to all the time finally come back on the radio years later. Though it was as if she didn’t want to speak to him and he couldn’t even begin to understand why. It seemed like she was mad at him for some reason and that is when she started to let it all slip out. She blamed him, and when she started to it was clear with his defeated expression that he had blamed himself as well. He didn’t know what to do now besides just listen to her, she wasn’t stopping as she slowly got angry about it all. She truly put the blame on for what happen to her with her father on him, and really, he couldn’t blame her. He knew deep down that her father was twisted enough to want to include her in his life.

When she finally stopped talking and said she was dead he saw her turn and head inside, he finally picked up the gun that he had dropped. He followed of course, and when he did, he shut the door before he finally started to answer the bombardment of questions she had slung at him. “I am sorry. I know. Believe me I know.” He said softly, just loud enough for her to hear as he tried to approach her a second time. Hand stretched to go for her shoulder to turn her to face him even. “You don’t think I didn’t think of all this, about how I could have gotten us out of there before it.” He said while he looked at her closely, azures hoping to find hazel as he tilted his head. “How me not being there is why you finally killed yourself. That if I had just f***ing stayed by your side for that year I would have found out about what was going down with you. I wouldn’t have protected you! You of all people.” He said the last part almost defeated, his voice becoming weaker.

When Vince pulled away from her it killed her. She was this 15 year old girl lost in a sea of hormones and emotions. Maybe he didn't want some school girl with a crush trailing after him everywhere, maybe he didn't want to be that person for her so he pulled back. She didn't know, but at the time it mattered. At the time she was so confused on why he decided to just hate her. Maybe not hate, but he'd gone from the person she spent all her time with to nothing in what felt like over night. It was at the time when she was cooped up in her room drowning her sorrows in sad songs that he father approached her about the life. He told her that she had a birth right and that he would show her the ropes, teach her what she needed to know so that some day it could be hers. She was a legacy and nothing would make him more proud.

He set her up. He played on her emotions to get his end goal. She'd never forgiven him and never would. Even if the man was gone he wasn't worth her forgiveness. You don't do that to your daughter, you don't plot and scheme and rip every security away from her and then tell her to get up and over it. There was no getting over the turmoil of being gang raped by men your father hired. It was a whole level of psyche trauma that would take years in therapy for a normal person and she was anything but normal.

She'd had trouble sleeping the night after it all, Vince had been there to take care of her, he'd been there to support her weakened body. She was jello that night and with her soul seemingly gone from her body the will to move it took effort she didn't possess. It took him holding her in his arms to even get her to give into the exhausted state she was in. Closing her eyes was a nightmare, but when she was in his arms she felt safe, protected, like maybe she'd be ok. But when she woke up he was gone. He'd left her and in her fragile state she felt scared. Terrified. She'd spent the next couple of weeks unable to sleep for more than ten minutes. Every noise made her jumpy, add the paranoia to the sore ache she had from the brutal assault and she was a mess with no one to turn to. She couldn't tell anyone what happened and frankly she didn't want to. She felt used and embarrassed. She'd lost everything and was left with nothing to comfort her.

The decision to fake her death came after she'd finally snapped. She had to get away, it was the only way back to normal. At least thats what her broken mind convinced her, but it wasn't true. She wasn't prepared to take care of herself. She was 16 living on her own. It wasn't a surprise that the Elders had figured out her death was bullsh*t and sent men to come find her. When Val was found it had been months. She had lost so much weight she looked like the wind could break her bones. She was malnourished, mentally broken, and living mostly with a group of homeless kids out at coney island. The only thing she had to hang on to was her blame. Her blame of who and how she got in that position. With nothing but hurt to focus her, it was no wonder he ended up on that list of people who'd done her wrong.

He followed her like she'd thought, coming in to give his peace as he began to try and combat her attack. His hand came to her shoulder and it caused her bottom lip to quiver, even as she tried to strong jaw it from shaking. Val lowered her head as her tears began to pile up dripping down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them as he accepted her blame, but the truth was neither of them were the blame. Their fathers had orchestrated everything and knew that if she was going to go anywhere in this life they'd have to break her to the smallest crumb only to build her back the way they wanted.

Hearing him sound so defeated broke her a little. He was the one man left in the world who could pull emotion out of her and he was doing it successfully. " You don't know what it was like for me when you left. That next morning.. I needed you Vince. I ..." her nose stung as the emotions flooded her face. " I was scared and .. you were gone..." she swallowed the lump in her throat as she turned her eyes back to his, the hazel a now piercing green as the tears made her eyes pop. " When I found out where you were... That was my only choice. I had to get away. I couldn't be where they were, what if it happened again. They brought you in that room... the gauged your reaction for how far they could push it.." Her hands rubbed against her arms as she tried to comfort herself, being too close to memory lane. " what if it happened again and I didn't have you... I'm sorry.." she caught herself as she wiped the tears from her reddening eyes. " It was the only way out for me."

Back then, it was what he felt was going to be the best for her, if she wasn’t around him, she wouldn’t of slipped into the life. He was a fool, a young fool that listened to his father who had just played him for the fiddle he was. Truth be told, he was scared to fall for her. No, he had fallen for her and that was what scared him. The fact that he was going to have something to lose, and the fact he could be the reason for it. The only thing he could think of to protect her was to fall back, make sure he wasn’t around to be the reason she became a part of the life. When he should of just maned up back then, he should have just told her fully what he was into and talked to her about it. Maybe then things would have been different, maybe she would have convinced him to leave with her. He knew she had felt the same way back then, and perhaps that is what scared him the most. He was used to being the disappointment so he didn’t want to be to her, which in turn he had been anyways.

Their fathers had been twisted in their goals and wishes to manipulate their children’s lives. It was why when he got out, when he finished his talk with the elders, he had gotten it arranged he was able to kill her father. It was his own way of starting the ways he planned on making it up to her memory in his own twisted way. Perhaps it was his own dark demons on his shoulder that were born that day when he decided the people in the room were dead. Even his father, he still had plans to end, but for now he was fine sitting at home making sure his mother was happy, cause if she wasn’t that would be his ass.

His only focus when she was awake was her, he just watched her brutally raped, so he wanted her to feel safe. She was still in shock the entire time he had took care of her, making sure she cleaned up and then got ready. All he wanted to do was make her feel safe, when he knew she couldn’t at the time. Her own father had set her up to be used and passed around like a random whore off the street. So, he made sure she was able to fall asleep, lulling her to sleep petting her head and back. When she finally did fall asleep, he was left with his own thoughts, the ones that had been turning since the moment it all went down. After an hour of the silence, and he couldn’t peel the images out of his own head that he had to get up. He went right to the club and protected her the only way he could think of, between that and to send their fathers a message, that he wasn’t going to let them ever harm her again punishable by death.

Her death being his biggest regret in his entire life, feeling like he had let her down even more than her father had. There were parts of him that got it, that couldn’t even blame her for not wanting to include him in the fact she had been alive. So, while the elders dug their claws into her, they dug their claws into him at the same time. It was funny, both had become tools for the very people that allowed a mad man like her father be in charge. Prison being the only reason he had been able to keep from having a mental breakdown. He was in a constant state of fight or flight, which most of the time you couldn’t exactly run from someone in a prison, they always got to you eventually. You better be able to defend yourself, and if you couldn’t you were going to be the one bleeding out. He had just used the anger that was born that day, focused into a rage that just kept pushing him forward no matter what he had faced.

Vincent had to follow her, she was at one point everything he knew at all besides the life he was living still. The male saw how broken she seemed, it was like they were back on that night and he was picking her up off the floor. Th way she looked at him just helped his defeated look, her words that followed all but shattered him. He hadn’t thought about It that way, all he could think about was ending the f***ers that held him down, because he knew where they were. “I’m sorry Val.” He said barely able to get it out before his baby blue hues had stared into the emerald ones that had popped out from under the hazel ones that normally stared up at him. He saw her tears and he just shook his head and couldn’t help but step forward again, she could push him away, smack him he didn’t care, he needed to hug her and his arms wrapped around her frame and pulled it against his own while he then looked down at her pushing his thumbs under her eye to wipe the tears that were streaming down her face.

Icy blue hues darted back and forth between her eyes while he took a deep breath and began to slowly explain himself further. “I just wanted to end those f***ers that held me down, I knew where they were and knew I could easily. I just, sitting there holding you knowing what they did. What they let happen.” He said as he squeezed her form tighter, as if she wasn’t real and if he let go, she would fade away forever. “I know you needed me, I just lost it, I wasn’t strong enough to wait and stay by you” He said with another shake of his head before he looked down at her a low tone a whisper even so only, she could hear it. “Don’t be sorry, I am happy you got out of there, and that you were safe. I am so, so sorry I left that night, I wish I didn’t, it would have been different.”

His arms wrapped around her and she froze. A stone cold ice sculpture standing in the middle of her loft. Her hands didn't move to go around him, she didn't return the hug, in truth she'd forgotten what hugs were. She'd forgotten kindness or affection. Sure there were times she'd let herself get so high that she'd allow herself to f*** some stranger just to feel something, but they always turned out the same way. The moment anyone was inside her she panicked. She'd run, she'd leave, confusing every man that touched her. They didn't know what she'd been through, they didn't know the horrors that lived inside her. As much as she could play that she was this sexual seductress out to ruin men, she wasn't. Inside she'd always be that 16 year old girl, laying limp against the marble table frozen in place.

That's how she'd been for 11 years. While her body aged and she went through the motions of life, she was still frozen. It was why she didn't allow anyone close to her, why she kept herself from people. She didn't have friends, she didn't allow anyone to know her. Frankly, she didn't even know herself. He was the last person to know who she was. He knew her when she was good, untainted, unused. He knew her when smiles were genuine, before the mere touch of someone’s skin to hers didn't make her want to stiffen and start shooting. She was damaged goods and she didn't know if it was possible to not see herself that way.

She'd tried. Tried to trick her mind into believing that she was more than the cum covered puddled mess they left behind. It took years for her to even look at her body in the mirror. Her body didn't feel like her own, it was a canvas of memories that were riddled with the finger prints of her attackers. Of the men who took everything from her. She met a stranger in the bar one night, a woman covered in tattoos, barely any free skin left. She'd remembered her saying she used to cut. Cut her skin to combat the numbness she felt about her life. An emo kids warrior wounds was how she phrased it. She went on to tell Val about how her tattoo's was her taking her body back. Covering her skin in images and pictures that defined the her she wanted to be, the her that she wanted others to see. Not the roadmap to the past, but a picture of the future. It had resonated with Val. She'd gotten 8 by the first year following the decision.

It was crazy how tricking your mind could silence your demons. She'd come home after her first one and didn't feel ashamed as she saw the ink covering her skin. She felt proud because it was one she'd designed herself. Art was the one piece of her they hadn't been able to steal. Her own private way of dealing with the past. She could draw out her feelings and burn the memories. It was cathartic in a way and helped her work through some issues, even if it wasn't a cure all.

His arms tightened as her breathing shallowed. The affection was new, the comfort was new, and as she stood there she felt it chip away slightly at the concrete wall surrounding her. He wiped her tears as he tried to explain his mind set. He had been a victim too that night. It wasn't just her, while she'd been broken, he was held down and forced to watch it happen. His reaction was normal and she couldn't fault him for it. They'd both experienced the worst day of their lives together, and like how he left her, she'd also left him.

Val fought for a deep breath as her arms slowly moved up, first cautiously placing her hands on his sides as he held her, before they snaked around at a snails pace. Once fully around him the emotions hit her. Her body shook slightly as she held back the down pour threatening to fall, but there was no use. She broke into a million pieces right there in his arms as her forehead rested against his shoulder and her tears flowed freely. Her arms tighten as the initial release washed through her, not holding back, rather just letting it go. She couldn't recall the last time she'd had such a big cry. It had been years if not longer.

It took her a moment to come back down and regain her composure. " We can wish all we want, nothing is going to change. It won't be different, what we have is now." she stated hardening back up a bit as she slowly pulled away just to find her center again. She was too weak in his arms to think straight. " So what are you going to do?.. You came here for a job. " Staring back at him through the puffy red tear stained eyes. " You're going to have to tell them something.. They're,  I'm sure,  expecting one of us if not both to be on the news in the morning." She turned as she flicked on the light to her kitchen, reaching for the bottle of Jack, twisting the lid till it hit the floor and taking a long drink. "If they want me to say sorry and grovel..." she spoke as she swallowed. " I'm not going to do it... Those two mother f***ers deserved worse." She was stoic about her answer as she stared at him. 4 and 5 were gone now. 1, 2, and 3... they'd get theirs. She owed it to the little girl inside her that died that day because of them.

02/14/2019 02:36 PM 

Lost but not Forgotten Val P.O.V.

Lost but not forgotten

Valerie was 15 when her father asked her to start accompanying him on meetings, jobs, getting a feel for the 'Family Business'. She was an only child and up until now she'd spent most of her life unsure of what exactly her father did for a living. Business man was her only answer, but in truth she didn't know what kind of business. She didn't know that he ran New York. Nothing happened with out his knowledge. He had his hand in everything under the law and even many things above it. When she said he ran the city, she meant it. The unofficial figure head that kept the seedy underbelly thriving as they who ran it lived above it untouched. They'd earned their places, earned their positions. They'd worked their way up through the ranks and now that they were on top it was their world, everyone else was just living it. 

She didn't know what she was getting herself into. She didn't know she was signing her life away just by agreeing to spend more time with her father. A father who'd been loving, caring, and doted on his only child up until now. It was a change she never could have saw coming and one she'd never expect. Her lessons quickly turned into scenarios she didn't think she could handle.

After failing to complete a task her father gave her, she felt what it actually meant to be in his world. A strong back hand came across her face almost knocking her off her feet as she stumbled back and her head whipped to the side. She could feel the burning sting as the red hand print appeared on her cheek. 

"They will not baby you. These are men not little boys you're playing with. They mean business. They have deadlines. You can't bat your lashes and get away with anything. They will take from you what they want when they want it and you have to be strong enough to handle these situations, Valerie." He was strong in his words as he stared at her completely serious. His hand came to her cheek to comfort the sting before kissing her forehead and sending her away.

It was that day she didn't know if this was for her. Maybe she wasn't strong enough to handle what was to come. She'd thrown herself on her bed as she continued to touch her sore cheek dialing Vince for the umpteenth time again going unanswered. He was her best friend and she didn't know what she'd done to cause him to hate her. He'd stopped answer her calls months before. Maybe he didn't want a child tagging along any longer. He was older now, 18 and legal. He was free from the binds of childhood while she still had three more years of servitude. 

Lessons continued for months following. Through her birthday as she turned the age of 16 and continued on through the summer where she was able to take her training to the next level. Her father finding new and interesting ways to show her the dangers of the life. She was in too deep now. She'd attended meeting and had learned more than her fair share of family secrets with the knowledge that sharing anything from the meeting would lead to her death, blood or not. The fear of god was put into her when it came to the seriousness of the life she'd one day lead, but nothing could prepare her for what she was going to experience that day. 

Valerie had been fielding calls for her father. He said there was a meeting that she'd be called into later, but for now it was closed to actual members. She'd come to understand that usually meant someone was going to get hurt and the revealing of the target was the less who knew the better. Accepting this life had been a rollercoaser of emotions for her. She was scared at first, terrifed somedays, but understanding others. Each piece she was shown was a puzzle that was forming into this picture scape of what it meant to be family without being blood. 

Sitting at the table in her white sundress and wedge heels as she scribbled a note on a piece of paper for her father, she hadn't heard the foot steps until she heard her name. 

"Valerie, your father is ready for you." the man spoke, his voice normal so no cause for concern as she smiled and pushed herself up. A slight bounce in her step as she entered his office and the tension in the room coated her like a blanket. Her gaze immediately went to Vince, her best friend, who was held down with dual pistols positioned at his head. 

"Daddy what the f*** are you doing?" She called out in shock at the sight before her. She looked to her father as Vince trying to wriggle free and her attention went straight back to the familiar blonde. 

"Get out of here, Valerie. NOW!" Vince shouted out her in a way she'd never heard him speak before. She was confused by what was going on. The office was filled with men, some she recognized and others she didn't. She moved towards Vince but never made it to him. 

Valerie was grabbed like a rag, pulled towards the center of the room with ease despite her tightened muscles as she tried to protest out of instinct. "What are you doing? Let me go." she tried to pull her arm free from the man's grip as the four others surrounded her like hyenas about the attack their prey. They didn't give an explanation, in fact Vince's words screaming for her to get out was the last words she'd heard before she felt the out of body experiencing starting to take her. 

They were quick with their motions as they secured her hands, moving her to her knees as she tried to fight them. She thrashed about as she screamed for help. Her eyes shooting around the room to her father, to Mr. Russo, to Vince. Anyone who could help her. They were just standing there watching as the men savagely ripped her clothes from her, leaving nothing but her naked body. There was no care for her as the ten hands roamed her body freely, touching her in places she'd never been touched. 

Valerie was a virgin and despite the make out sessions here and there with classmates, there was only one person who ever had her attention enough to even think about. Vince had been her crush since before she could even remember. Her childhood best friend who shared more than just memories with her. They shared secrets and inside jokes, things that kinds often do, but as they grew older she found herself wanting more. She wanted more of his time, she wanted him to look at her the way Nathan looked a Haley in one tree hill. She wanted him to see her as more than a friend, but never had the nerve to tell him about her feelings. 

None of that mattered here. None of that mattered as she was slammed against the marble coffee table in the center of the room. Her body was tense out of fear of the unknown, out of being naked for the first time in a room full of grown men. How was no one helping her...continually ran through her mind as she begged for them to stop. " Please.. please don't do this.." scared tears streamed down her face as she trembled shaking her head against the cold marble. "I'm sorry.. I don't know what I did.. I'm sorry.. Please don't do this.. DON'T DO THIS!" her pleading frustrated that no one would listen as her voice shot up to a higher octave as she felt the first man come between her legs. Her breath was heavy leaving steam circles against the table where her mouth hung open as her hands were pinned by two others. He ran the head of his c*ck against her dry slit and with no regards for her, he pushed the head into her virgin hole before slamming all the way inside her, breaking not only her hymen but her spirit as he took her roughly as if proving some kind of point that she was unaware of.

 A jack hammer pounding into her body as she screamed with every thrust. Her eyes only finding Vince's as her body shot forward from his motions behind her. She felt like she was being torn in two as a river of never ending tears streamed down her cheeks, puddling against the table. " STOP PLEASEEE" she begged as she tried to close her legs but they were kicked opened, a rough slap coming to her ass telling her to behave as the man f***ed her like she was a cheap hooker.

Her eyes tried to find anything but Vince's because his were only shooting back concern and anger. She didn't want him to see her like this. Her grunts and groans of displeasure filled the room as the man finished inside her and pulled from her depths,  a trickle of blood rolled down the inside of her thigh. It was over right. That was it. Val closed her eyes but the moment he moved another took his place and it started all over. Her screams were of desperation. She'd screamed so long and so loud her voice began to crack going hoarse as the second man took her hole for his own pleasure. Her body was used over and over again as her eyes had no where else to go but Vince's. 

She watched him watch her be stripped of every part of who she was. Her trust. Her virtue. Her self worth. It was being pounded out of her one thrust at a time. Every time she got a burst of energy to fight back, she was restrained with a tighter grip, leaving bruises on her skin. One after another they took their turns. They raped her with joy. To them it was free p**sy, but to her it was her soul leaving her body. She was a shell of who she was when she walked in the door. 

All five had a turn before she was flipped to her back on the table and the cycle started all over again. She was hurting from the inside out as her body grew weak from the fight. Her palms were covered in blood from her nails digging into her skin from her clenched fists. This was a nightmare and all she wanted was to wake up. It was some where in the middle of round two her body gave out, she'd gone limp as she laid there like a broken Barbie. Her eyes had found Vince's once more, but behind her hazel eyes you couldn't see her. She was comatose, she was lost, she was gone for good. 

Valerie wasn't even sure when it stopped. She had been thrusted into for hours, that even though she'd stopped moving, her body still felt like she was riding a wave. Her mascara and eye liner had traveled down her cheeks forming black rivers on her skin. Her body was a mixture of purple, blue and red as she laid there not sure how to work her limbs any longer. She didn't even know anyone had left until Vince used the ripped material of her dress to cover her up. 

Flinching as he touched, panic shooting across her face before she realized who it was. She couldn't walk, she couldn't stand. She was a bag of jello in that moment and he knew the only way she was getting out of there was the carry her out. He scooped her up, her body to worn to even react as her head rested on his shoulder. " What did I do wrong?" she whispered through her cracked vocal chords. "What did I do...?" she asked softly. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve what had happened to her

02/11/2019 01:52 PM 

The Birth of Chaos Part 1.

Thump, thump, thump. The beat of his heart in his chest he swore could be seen through the black hoodie he had been wearing that night. He wasn’t told much about it, just that he was going to move up from the street level thug he was. Usually to move up it involved a hit, and though he had already killed more than once, it was usually someone more important, more heat. Little did he f***ing know what they were really planning. There was Lenny and Rich leading him up the stairs, the way they were walking behind him, it made Vincent feel uneasy. There had been plenty of different jobs he had worked with these guys, and this just felt; different. Like they weren’t going to a job, but that he /was/ the job. The eerie silence that fell between the three since the car ride over here it was just off, like they knew something he didn’t.


A loud /C R E A K/ could be heard of the heavy thick doors opening to the office of Mr. Giovanni that both shut with a heavy /T H UD/. It didn’t help with Vincent’s nerves that were burning right now and felt like it was due to the heat of the sun. Azure hues scanned around, he noticed his father standing by the desk, along with Mr. Giovanni sitting behind the desk. There was a few out of towners, when that happen it usually meant they didn’t want anything coming back to them in anyway. Lenny and Rich being the only other two that were from around town. It was all unsettling to him, and made him want to bolt for the door, yet he wasn’t about to show fear like that in front of his father or the head of the family. Before Giovanni’s voice boomed almost through the silence. “You are all going to help me teach my daughter that she needs to be ready to take over when I step down. So, we are going to teach her a lesson.”


Vincent raised a puzzled eyebrow, not too sure what the hell he meant by that, other than maybe have her help with a hit. The male got up before he set his cell down, shutting the flip phone before cold eyes looked at the confused Vince. “You and the rest of the people in this room besides myself and your father are going to take my girl’s virginity. You will not ask, and if you would like you can be the first to solidify yourself in sort of an arranged marriage discussed between your father and I considering I don’t have an heir really.” The male was stocky, standing at 6’3” as he walked to the younger, inch taller male and placed a hand on Vince’s shoulder. “So, you should feel honored that you don’t have to do what we normally have you do, which is kill someone who betrayed the family. Cause those are never short in supply.” The hand went to smack the side of Vince’s face to smack his cheek as if to show dominance.


Vincent, having his father pretty much beat him all his life, had been getting to the point in home where he wasn’t taking it anymore. His hand went up and smacked Mr. Giovanni’s hand from his face before snapping at him. “I know you lost your f***ing mind on talking about your f***ing daug—” Vince was cut off with a loud cough and the sound a the /THUMP/ of the gun handle into the spot where his neck met his head and he was grabbed by Lenny and Rich, both men putting him to his knees and John Giovanni smacked Vince with a back hand, a disappointed look as if he failed some ultimate test, a knee to the inked male’s face before John turned and walked to his desk. “Kids these f***ing days have no f***ing respect.” At the same time Vincent went to push up at the same time as spitting, Lenny this time hitting him with his gun. Two barrels now placed to either side of his head, their hands held his arms back behind him like a vice.


At the same time the undenounced Rosa Giovanni was coming into the room, just in time to see Vincent be restrained, a shocked gasp as her hands covered her mouth. “Daddy what the f*** are you doing?!?” Her startled response caused Vince to turn to her though didn’t make much movement in fear his life would be over before he could do much. “Get out of here Rosa now!” Vincent snapped as if to scare her out of the room before she went to move towards her best friend, the two having grown up since they were children, their families having always been close. The five or so out of towners at that time were given the signal, the door locked behind her by one of them. She was caught before she made it to Vince, who turned his face to his father and her own father just watch from the desk as if it was normal. How the f*** did these two become so screwed up that this was their ‘normal’, what was worse, he idolized them, they answered to no one basically.


Rosa’s screams were a /B L O O D Y/ roar as she cried for help, while the men brought in to do the ‘job’ circled like a pack of animals. At the same time Vince was forced to watch one of them having to take their gun off him to turn his head to see it all begin. Her dress she had was lifted already and a knife was used to rip her panties off already, as the blade was handed to someone at her side to cut the dress and her bra from her form. The knife passed to a third guy who used it to fully finish the job by cutting a shoulder of the dress, as they were already half exposed getting themselves hard for what was to come. The guy between her legs, peeling them apart with his knees and hips as he slipped up to her untouched slit. Vince now jumped up again, an elbow given to Rich who was trying to hold his face, he tried to stumble out, as his screams filled the room as well as her pleas for them to stop this.


Another smack to his neck and this time he went limp and fell to the floor, azure hues drifted up towards the teen he tried getting away from to protect. Both males then slammed a knee into his back and craned his neck back to continue to watch the men take turns and all use her till you couldn’t tell who’s cum belonged to who. They took over an hour with her, till she finally stopped fighting and laid their sobbing, Vince attempted to get up a couple more times but ended like the times before, violent, and with the new position of both their weight on his back it was pretty much not going to happen at that point, he was just forced to watch. Yet the more he watched, and the more his best friend looked him in the eyes begging to help her, and the fact that it was supposed to be him alone doing it. All he could think of was killing ever single person in that room…….

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