Down the Rabbit Hole
California's weather should have made everything feel better. The warm air, the smell of the ocean, which would usually be refreshing in her opinion, now stung her fragile lungs and made her wince, as more piercing pain rushed through her body. She knew that she was wearing herself out, when she obviously needed to be cautious in her state, but she no longer cared. Even as she felt how her stomach was beginning to unhealthily swell up, AJ didn't allow herself to rest. She was Alexa Morrow, and nobody cared about how Alexa Morrow was doing, not even Alexa herself...
When she had arrived in the downtown district of LA, during the early evening of that day, she had planned to go straight to her apartment and just lie down and allow her aching body to rest from the long and exhausting day she had put herself through, but as she looked at the streets of LA from the cab she was sitting in, she decided otherwise. She realized that in California, she would finally blend in, with her dark, long clothes and huge sunglasses, which she still wore, even though it was almost night already, so she asked the driver to pull over and began to walk aimlessly in the busy streets of the city.
Even though she could feel her body beginning to hurt more and more and was growing slightly dizzy, she continued to walk in the lit-up streets for several hours and just carelessly stared at the many people that walked past her through her big shades.
California used to excite her, but now, as she slowly walked in its most marvelous streets, she felt absolutely nothing. Even when cold raindrops began dripping from the sky and, slowly but surely, soaked her from head to toe, AJ remained numb. Ever since she realized that she had lost both the boy she loved with every fiber of her being and her best friend, for whose happiness she was truly willing to sacrifice her own, nothing made sense to her anymore, nothing seemed worth struggling through the painful state she was in anymore. It was as though her soul had shut down, and she was simply too weak to fight in order to revive it.
Suddenly growing short of breath, AJ couldn't help but collapse onto a street bench that she walked by. As the rain continued pounding on her frail body, she fought to catch her breath and finally acknowledged how much her body hurt and how badly it was shaking. She blinked several times, trying to rid herself of the dizziness that seemed to be overpowering her and with a true effort, managed to rise back to her wobbly feet. When her knees buckled yet again and her aching body hit the bench once more, she whimpered in pain and finally decided that she should head to her apartment and just lie alone in bed until she would be strong enough to face the world again. She slowly got up to her feet again, holding onto the bench until she was sure that her feet could carry her again, and quickly stopped a cab, directing the driver to her home.
When she finally reached her residence that she shared with Damon, she was completely drenched and had to truly fight in order to keep her body from falling down to the floor. After shakily fumbling for her house-key for an entire minute, Alexa finally dug it out of her purse and managed to enter her apartment.
Upon going into her home, the first thing that AJ wanted was to allow her body to collapse onto the sofa and fall into an endless sleep. As she shivered on her way to the couch and realized how cold and wet she was, a different idea came to her mind. She wobbled over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka, dragging herself over to the living room and finally allowing her body to drop down onto the sofa.
She yelped in pain as her sore body fell onto the soft couch and reminded her of the bruises and injuries she had yet to heal from. She felt tears burning her throat and threatening to spill from her eyes, but instead of allowing them out, she quickly took a swig out of the bottle and winced as its strong taste shot through her body. As the tears were still threatening to fall, she brought the bottle to her mouth and drank some more of the intoxicating liquid, not stopping herself until she emptied the bottle completely, merely minutes later. Her body would always signal to her to stop drinking clear, unmixed vodka after a few short shots, especially when she was drinking on an empty stomach, like she was now, but this time, she blindly ignored the stinging pain in her chest and stomach from the strong drink and was actually comforted by the warm, cozy feeling that would always spread through her body after she would drink.
As she felt herself drifting off, affected by the huge amount of alcohol she let into her system, she felt truly calm and peaceful again, for the first time since her attack. Her pain was finally numbed away and replaced with a hazy tingling feeling and a sense of true tranquility overtook her. When her apartment's entrance door opened up, several minutes later, AJ felt a vague feeling of panic rising in her body, but she was truly too sleepy and out of it to react upon the quiet alarming bells that were distantly ringing in her head. As she indistinctly heard the person who entered her house worriedly calling out her name,Alexa was already under such a strong influence of the alcohol, that she could do nothing but allow her eyes to roll to the back of her head and carelessly let go.