Grave mistake

Candice found herself sitting at the foot of Eddie’s grave the one she put him in, The man who raised her and taught her all she ever needed to know to love and live in this world and she killed him and herself for what? A shot at being in a dysfunctional relationship? Or a whole dysfunctional family? A family that wouldn’t ever really accept her because she was a driven woman and women were nothing more but tools in this world, In this lifestyle women were weak and disposable once they out grew their purpose they were disposed of she knew this, She knew this all along but as time drew on and she still hadn’t been cast aside her hope grew and she allowed herself to truly revel in the fact that she might have actually changed the order of things and shown her worth she was wrong of course while her name and power was increasing so were those who were against her including the man she loved he grew tired of her she glanced down at the ring she wore the ring that had meant so much to her not long ago but once she pulled the trigger sentencing Eddie to the dirt pit she lost everything she ever really cared for because he was the last piece of her and once he was gone there was nothing she was nothing. Twirling the ring on her finger she allowed herself to remember the times when she was truly happy and to her surprise that was quite a bit but her eyes glanced at the headstone that read Eddie Mason on it and her happiness soon depleted she could feel the sting of tears and she took a shaky breath “Oh Eddie” she began she’d usually come here to take some time and try and remember who she was but right now in this moment she didn’t know anymore she felt lost and no one would find her this time she was a mere shell of the person she used to be hollow and empty devoid of everything her doing had become her undoing and she was already gone.

“Eddie, it isn’t easy for me to come here to talk to you.. To face you again time after time and I wish I could just let you rest it’s the very least you deserve but I keep messing up and you’re not here to help.. to ease it all.. Yeah I know that’s my fault I did this to you.. You don’t have to remind me of that every time!” Her hand lifted to wipe a tear that had left her eye and she tucked her legs into her body hugging them needing to feel some sort of protection “I’m sorry Eddie, You were nothing but good to me you gave up your life to give me one and when I was old enough for you to actually live again I took that from you you deserved better.. a better life a better me.. I let you down that’s all I ever do I can’t help it, must be in my blood to fail and to disappoint it’s all I’ve ever known” a sigh left her she never opened up like this and if Eddie was alive she probably wouldn’t open up to him either she’d just solider on and push it all down telling her secrets to a dead man she knew they were safe at least her arms wrapping around herself tighter “I wish you could hear me, I wish you could see how sorry I am how my life f***ed up for what I did I know it’s not even close to justice but it’s nothing less then what I deserve I hope I suffer everyday until I die” she knew she would suffer because from the moment she pulled that trigger she regretted everything since she wasn’t thinking straight and she would hate herself forever for it she punished herself more then she knew, More then she realised and she would do until the day she was free from this world “I’ve gotta go now, I’ve got some work to do I just.. I miss you… the Christmas tree is starless without you.. In fact the world is, I tried Eddie I really did I just tried for the wrong person if I would have tried harder to be a good guy I know you’d still be here, I love you” with that she stood her legs numb from sitting in the cold “Rest now” she said wiping her eyes and she simply walked away.