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Aηᴛɪdᴏᴛε

Last Login:
February 16th, 2020


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Gender: Female

Age: 34
Country: United States

Signup Date:
June 13, 2017


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02/13/2020 01:42 PM 

No Longer Home

You can’t hear me cry, 

see me dreams all die, 

from where you’re standing, 

on your own. 

It’s so quiet here, 

and I feel so cold…

this house no longer, 

feels like home….


Her world stood still. The light wind blowing, lifting her pale blonde locks ever so gently. Her soft tendrils wrapping around her face as the warm, stagnant air filled her lungs. Her eyes were puffy with redness, and her cheeks raw from the salty tears. In her mind, her life was over. There was nothing left for her. The world as she knew it, the life she once lived, was gone. It was a matter of moments that took away everything she once had, all the things she loved and cherished. Death has a way of destroying people from the inside out. 


No one recognized her. No one was there for her. Just silence, the silence that filled the streets. Pure, dead, silence. If you’d ever heard the term dead silent, this was it, or much worse. She could feel the death around her, the spirits leaving the earth one by one. The heated smell of their corpses lingering behind. Rot. Death. Silence. But was it really everyone else leaving the earth, or just her? She had never felt so cold, so dead inside, so alone in her life. Even growing up, she felt alone but this newfound abandoned feeling surpassed any that she’d felt before. It was like death taking over her body, the light in her eyes leaving with every blink. Why? 


She had pleaded for forgiveness, but to no avail. She had begged for a second chance, but to no avail. She knew once she walked out that door, as soon as it shut behind her,  her world would be dead. She’d have nothing left but the memories to haunt her. She wouldn’t have a home to call, a lover to talk about how her day was, or a friend to lean on. She would be irrevocably alone. She would be lost, unable to cope and understand how, and why things had taken the turn they had. She couldn’t fight anymore. There was nothing left in her to fight for. She saw the pain in his eyes, heard the sharpness of his tongue with his tone; everything that once was, was gone. 


Oh when you told me to leave, 

I felt like I couldn’t breath, 

my aching body, 

fell to the floor...


He told her to go, that he didn’t love her anymore. He built up his own walls, and he couldn’t stand the sight of her. Her face held the markings that were a constant reminder of what used to be. Her eyes, her lips, the distinction of her jaw; all reminders of their past, the moments they’d shared so intimately. Their worlds collapsed and tragedies struck them deep to their cores. It didn’t take long before they were completely destroyed. Each day they started to wither away more and more until reaching a point of complete destruction. She needed him, but she was outraged with herself. Too stubborn to speak up. She longed for him, but she shut down and wouldn’t allow him near her. She pleaded in her own mind to fall apart in his arms, to feel the solace that he’d always offered her before but her depression sucked her deeper into the depths of darkness with each plea, every attempt to break free, it swallowed her whole until she faded away. 


The windows were boarded up, the door sealed shut, it wasn’t home anymore. Despite the hot, stagnant summer air, a coldness was within her. She was cold to the core. She shivered, her fists balled at her sides as she stared through her hair at the house she once called home. It was as empty as she was inside. There was nothing left. No life, no love, no family, no home. Just the darkness to fill the empty spaces within. His heart was with another. She’d have to learn to let go, every day. Day after day. A new task to just let go. She was alone, freezing in the heat, swallowed up by the darkness of it all. Staring aimlessly into the empty air around her, day after day. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. She stood alone, staring at the empty house she once called home. 


You caused my heart to bleed, 

and you still owe me a reason, 

cause I can’t figure out why.


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