“I don’t hold people close. It makes it easier for them to hurt you.”
These words... they rang through her head like church bells; loud and clamoring for attention, for some kind of help- an alarm she knew all too well.
Blair regarded the young girl before her, an uncharacteristically soft expression befalling her delicate features as she tried to find the words. “I know...” her voice cracked as the swell in her chest grew- the memories that lead to that very motto in most of her teenage years. “I know how safe that can feel” brows furrowed, her eyes dropped to the pavement below as she willed herself not to cry “but it’s also extremely lonely... and painful.” She took a steadying breath as her eyes drew up once more, her head shaking as all the words she wanted to say swirled around in her mind, hoping they would somehow fall into place.
“But trust me when I say that safety is never guaranteed. It’s a prison. One that you build and in time... in time you’ll hate yourself for it.” Her eyes welled with tears as her mind drifted to times past, alone in her room or sprawled on a bathroom floor- that loneliness and dread eating away at her soul.
Swiping quickly at her eyes, she tried to hide and sniff away the tears that threatened to fall “Keeping everyone at arm's length.. it doesn’t stop people from doing bad things. They will find a way.” Her lips rolled against each other, sighing softly as the lesson she’d learned in far too hard a manner slipped passed her lips “and when they do... there will be no one there to catch you and bring you back on your feet. No one there to listen...” her head shook once more before meeting the young girl's eyes “Nothing is worth that... not even an imaginary safety net.”