In Search Of...
In Search of…
“Just turn it off Elena.” Damon’s own words haunted him. He lay there in the darkness of his room replaying that scene over and over in his mind. He cradled her in his arms speaking in a voice that was cracking even more than he’d ever allowed anyone to see him in at least sixty years. Elena Gilbert, the woman who had come between him and his brother, was devastated by the loss of her own brother. Silas had killed Jeremy who was now a supernatural occurrence himself as one of The Five and wouldn’t be resurrected. To love someone the way Damon loved Elena changed a man even if he was a vampire. He hated feeling like this. Helplessness and Damon Salvatore were not two compatible words. He hated being at odds with his brother over a woman, even if that woman was Elena. They were both at odds when it came to Katherine and now here they were over 150 years later with Elena. Something had to stop.
It wasn’t that Damon didn’t like the little snickerdoodle. Teaching Jeremy how to fight vampires actually gave him a chance to see that the kid was a lot like Stefan been when he was human. In some ways, it had been like Damon had gotten his own brother back when nothing could be further from the truth. Instead now, Elena was without her brother and without a house since she set it on fire with Jeremy’s body on the couch.
Damon hated all this. Deep within his own gut, he could feel the violent churning of his stomach. Guilt, anger, love and even hate were all tearing away at what was left of his own soul. These feelings and emotions that had been brought back to the front by Elena made him weak. Human Elena had expected him to be good. Vampire Elena looked at him on that island and fully expected him to take the cure to be human. Who did she think he was? Damon was not the type to get married and settle down with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. As much as he may have thought he loved Elena, he realized that when it came to sacrificing his immortality for her, he just couldn’t do it.
Everything was turned on his head when he and Rebekah had found out there was only one dose of the cure. Damon had no other choice. He’d decided that if he laid hands on it, he’d give it to Elena. In the process of giving her that cure, he knew he’d have to let her go. In his heart of hearts, he’d already let her go the moment he decided he couldn’t give it all up for her. He had to let her go. Stefan was right. The only question that remained was that, did Stefan still love her? Of course he still loved her. She had that effect on both of the Salvatore brothers. Would Stefan however be strong enough to let her go? There was only one way to find that out for himself. He had to talk to his brother.
Since the fire at the Gilbert House, Elena was now staying in her own room at the Salvatore Boarding House with both brothers. Damon had given Elena a wide berth. He kept himself secluded with a bottle of bourbon. Bonnie’s offer to drop the veil and bring Alaric back had not gone without notice by the elder Salvatore brother. It was such a damned temptation, he didn’t know if he could say it was a bad idea even though logic told him that it was. What did Damon care about mass slaughter of humans in Mystic Falls? Let Bonnie do whatever. Damon had a glass of bourbon in his hand raising it to his lips. Missing Alaric hurt him more than anything he’d ever thought possible. Stefan had become Klaus’ shadow mostly recently so Damon barely spoke to him anymore. He tipped his head backward as he threw the bourbon down his throat.
Instead of setting his glass down, he threw it against the wall. Watching the droplets of the amber fluid that had remained within the crystal race down the wall, Damon realized something else. He cared about Stefan more than he admitted. Stefan was his blood. Stefan knew him when he was human and the sensitive soul he had been when he was human. Instead of standing by one another and being happily carefree like they had been, everything changed when Katherine Pierce entered their lives. Murder and Death became who the brothers were now that Katherine had sunk her claws into both of them.
The Founders had moved to rid Mystic Falls of the vampire problem which would include Katherine. Damon risked it all in the process of trying to save Katherine when all it did was cost him his own human life. After they had failed to save Katherine, the brothers were killed for the first time. They had been both murdered by their father for their death as a human. After rising, Stefan had forced him to complete the transition all those years ago when all he wanted to do was die. Damon had wanted to die because Katherine was gone. Stefan forced him to live when he should have just died. For the next fifty years, Damon tried to understand why Stefan wanted him to complete the transition himself. The notion of his brother not wanting to be alone was an absolutely incredulous one to him at the time. Now over one hundred years later, Damon heard his brother say he wanted to be human again. After saddling him with this curse, Stefan would actually leave him? Why would he even consider bailing on Damon? Was it for the love of a woman? The love of a woman had gotten them into this bloody path all those years ago. It couldn’t just end this way.
Damon left the library and headed back into the main living room. He had to have it out with Stefan once and for all. The Petrova Doppelgangers were nothing but pain and misery for the Salvatore Brothers. They were smack in the middle of a mess that had been going on for a thousand years involving the Original Family. Damon snorted as he realized what this was all about all these years. It was the biggest family feud that the world had ever seen. Lucky for Damon and his brother, this was a huge part of their immortal lives and hopefully would end soon.
Damon Salvatore just wanted to be left alone with his brother. He wanted them all to go away. That wasn’t about to happen any time soon though. That lingering doubt was nestled in the back of Damon’s mind like a bad penny. Terrible wasn’t the word for it. Damn them all. Maybe he needed to just jet by himself and go where no one knew who the hell he was. He’d reinvented himself plenty of times over the century he’d been alive. Could he do it one more time? Damon shook his head snapping himself out of his inner perspective. He wasn’t going anywhere without his brother.
“When people see good, they expect good.”