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Gender: Male

Age: 29
Country: United States

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November 01, 2018


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05/15/2019 11:28 PM 

My Insanity 3

So for another day, night, whatever, I couldn’t sleep. The thing about not being able to sleep, but trying to make it happen, is that it gives you a lot of time to think. And I couldn’t help wandering to thinking about ‘my fellow mutants’ and how I’ve never really been a part of em. Specifically how, ya know cliquey it is for being such a ‘tight nit’ community.


See first you got the ‘originals’ First class kinda folks. The ones that think that, since they’ve been around forever that they are something special. Like simply not dying, or quitting makes them special. I mean have you seen how often they ‘die’ and come back? Its ridiculous, hardly an accomplishment. Always talking about how they are ‘pillars of the mutant community’. Ridiculous nonsense in my opinion. Thinking that the whole world would just go on and crumble if they weren’t around. They only let the folks they want in, and if you cross em, you better watch out. Easy way to hide monsters that, getting in good with em.


Then you got the newer folks, second classers they tend to be cheer leaders of the originals. They don’t spend as much time doing things as they do cheering on the accomplishments of the ‘pillars’. They are accepted by the originals like family, but still looked down on by them in a weird way, table scraps.


Then you got the ‘outsiders and proud of it’ group. The ones that rail extra hard against the first two groups. Try to act like they are above them by not being part of them. Like somehow saying ‘i’m not a cool kid’ makes them some kind of alternate cool. Always stirring up stuff, never changing a damned thing.


Then there’s the self proclaimed ‘loners’. ‘Oh I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t participate in anything’ blah blah blah, then why are you even there.


So I’m thinking of all this and I can’t really figure out where I fit in that scenario. Son of Xavier you figure I’d have some seat at the table, but must just give me the squint eye when I come around. I get it, I’m sick, I’m different, I’m a liability. Can’t be sure of what a fella is going to do when even he isn’t all together sure of it after all.


Gets lonesome from time to time. Like I’m allowed to talk to these folks whenever I want, flit between groups, but do they accept me in as one of their own? Nah. Just sitting on the sidelines, feeding pigeons while they toss about and do their things. Pick up bits and pieces here and there. So and so said this, so and so did that, but I don’t really pay it much thought. Can’t afford to, got my own business to attend to.


Still though, lonesome thing, being on the outer edges of all these things. Not really being let in, or pushed out. Folks just kinda pass the time with me from time to time. Guess that’s better’n nothing.


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