It didn't matter how far I'd travel. Whether it was from one side of the Galaxy to the other, or a mile down the road. it was all really the same. The people I met, regardless of their race or agenda. They always had one thing in common. Their emotions, their feelings. The things that made them feel insecure or filled them with a sense of power.
I often wondered if I was the same. If they saw their own doubts reflected in my eyes. I don't know what it means to be different. But I know I am. I don't look no different. I don't talk no different. But my mind, it perceives your feelings. Your thoughts. I see more then you willingly show. I don't mean to. Sometimes I wish that I didn't. That I couldn't. That I could just exist in the disillusioned comfort of ignorance. But I'd given that up so long ago.
When your alone. When each day you've only got yourself for company and each night your left to watch what you might have seen during the day. When it plays out like a movie in your mind; over and over again. That was my childhood!
Eventually it has to change you. Without fully realizing it, you become more aware. The things most people brush over or fail to notice stand out. Resonating in your mind like a red coat worn upon a wet and stormy day. You learn to see through the lies or the truths not told. The ones people rather deny or hold in, out fear. Fear of being shunned or not accepted for who or what they really are. Fear of being seen as different. They think its a weakness. It's not. It's where their true beauty lies.
I wish I could explain it, better then I can. I wish I could explain me! I wish I could show you what I see. What I feel and what I notice when in your company; The red coat of your stormy day. Maybe then you wouldn't feel so lost. But your scared. Scared of being alone. Of only having yourself for company, of looking to closely. I get it! There is nothing more confronting then facing your own vulnerabilities and learning to understand them. To accept them and still love or accept yourself. So I'm gonna tell you this and hope that some part of you, no matter how small listens. Love yourself! Your worth it. Don't settle for second best. Don't settle for someone who makes you feel less then you are, just because you don't want to be alone. Don't be so quick to judge others to form opinions and don't be afraid to look for their red coats on their stormy days.
I'm Four. I don't want to be just one thing, I can't! Iam brave and selfless and intelligent and honest and kind. I'm seen as aloof. A loner. My truth? I like the company of my thoughts.
