I knew a girl. She'd only let you see a shadow of her true self because she believed that by doing so, it kept her strong. That it protected her. She thought she was alone. Her feelings.. Her vulnerabilities.. that they would make her easy to manipulate. She could never of been so wrong!.....
I often wonder what people think when they see me. For instance do they notice my clothes.. and make their judgement based upon the rips in my t-shirt or the faded patches upon my jeans. Or do they take a moment to look closer. A moment to gaze into my eyes and risk their first opinions trying to get a glimpse of my soul?
I'm faded! And I'm here to tell you, to tell this girl...to tell everyone, Faded- it's a strength not a weakness. That the vulnerabilities she felt. No matter how great, were also her strengths. They make her who she is. The same as mine make me, me. They define us! They are what makes each of us unique!
There is no right or wrong way to feel. With my life, its the one thing, I've always been certain of. Emotions, feelings. Not the materialistic impressions people put forward in a bid to keep up a front- An impression of what they want others to see. They hold no meaning for me....I see through them. Yet the subtle way you stand, the slightest glance or a simple hello..... Will tell me all I need to know.
I get why your afraid. It's hard to face the thought of possible rejection or scorn. I've felt that hurt a thousand times over. I've been used and manipulated by those I thought should love me, how I loved them. By those I thought should need me...like I needed them. But the truth...It does set you free! Those vulnerabilities, are also your strengths! They are not just your jealousy, resentment or self pity. Set them free and they can become more if you want them to be. They can become your will to succeed, your compassion and your wisdom. They can take you places that you never dreamed.... Or you can hold on to them for dear life and hope that no one see's past your shadow.
When you see me, sitting on that street corner, or walking towards you, who do you see? Factionless? In my discarded clothes....Look again! I am Four! I am brave, and selfless and intelligent, honest and kind! I'm not afraid of who I am, or the past I might be leaving behind. Those feelings, those memories...they define me! They make me special even if you can't see it.
I don't resent you for it. I don't hate you if all you see is a homeless Factionless guy with no apparent purpose standing before you.... instead, it fills me with compassion. For while your trapped in a constant circle of emotions and fear....I am free! I'm waiting to give you my hand....to ask you to take that impossible leap with me. A leap of faith! To step into that abyss of hope and believe...And know there is more waiting for you then you ever dreamed possible if you just let go of those shadows.
I soar high above the clouds. There is no limit to who I am or where life will take me! Don't be afraid! Life...it's an adventure! It's meant to be lived. Its meant to be felt... to hurt and bring love happiness. It's meant to feel out of your control! The universe...it's doorway exists within your head....All you have to do is take a deep breath...step forward and cast away those shadows.....Don't be afraid to show the world....your faded!
