Yes, Rachel and Cas� baby daughter was restored, returned to them as the Angel Azreal promised.  In time she would grow tall and beautiful, strong and clever.  The girl inherited her mother�s fiery resolve, but also Rachel�s infinite capacity to love.  Her father bestowed upon her a strength of will and quiet wisdom that together with her brilliant mind would ensure the girl�s success in whatever path she chose in life.  But would she choose the life of a hunter?  After seeing first hand the constant pain and horrendous loss, even when the Winchester clan is triumphant?  Is the winning worth the cost?  Is a short and thankless life enough?  Would Rachel and Castiel direct her away from fighting evil, into a more fulfilling, normal life?  Or could the girl ever live a normal life, knowing what hunters know, that the world is rife with supernatural entities preying upon humanity, and the prey are as na�ve to the danger as they are foolishly optimistic that the world is on the whole a good place?

I�d like to say that everyone lived happily ever after.  But it doesn�t work that way, does it?  Only in fairy tales.  And one fallen soldier won�t be coming back this way again � Dianna Remington.  She is lost to us now. But the Winchesters and their friends will continue, despite Sam�s betrayal, in spite of or perhaps because of Cas� desperate act, and because they have a mission.  A mission that has no chance of completion, a war that extends backward to the beginning of time and forward into the future without end.  A hunter does not ruminate on the question of whether the war can ultimately be won, because he or she knows that the answer will sort itself out over time, and probably long after that hunter�s life has ended.  Rather, hunters reap reward from the battles won, making a little progress day by day.  Baby steps, Gentle Reader.   And that�s why they keep fighting.  

This story is dedicated to the memory of Dianna Remington�s role player.

�Are you sure�I�ve never�� And then Sami was handing the little girl over to Sam, instructing him how to support her head with one hand (babies have weak neck muscles and comparatively big heads) while cradling her in his other arm and holding her against his chest.  Babies are so impossibly small and Sam felt like a huge hulking and clumsy repository for one so tiny and vulnerable.  But once the baby was safely in his arms, she looked up into his face and gurgled, blowing a little spit bubble while windmilling her little fists.  How cute!  And she wasn�t crying, or at least not yet.

Everyone looked up as Sam entered the bar with the little bundle.  Expressions ranged from �what the hell� to wonderment and disapproval.  They had blamed him for the loss of Rachel�s baby, and now here he was holding one of those little tikkers.  So yeah, what the hell?  And there it was, the 64 million dollar question.  What the hell, indeed?  �We found her.  Sami and me.  In the corn.�  No other explanation was forthcoming from Sam Winchester because he couldn�t think of anything else to say.  But Cas had a knowing look on his face and a glimmer of an enigmatic smile had transformed his previously glum features.

�Where�s Rachel?�  Sam asked.  Bobby gruffly mumbled something unintelligible in response and pointed to Dianna�s office door.  As Sam walked towards that door, Sarah, Dean, Bobby, and Cas all came to take a closer look at the little girl.  Sarah and Dean barraged him with questions � what do you mean you found her in the corn, who does she belong to, people don�t just leave babies in a corn field, what the hell?  Sam just shook his head and repeated several times, �I don�t know.�

Sami opened the office door for him because Sam�s hands were full.  Rachel was sitting in Dianna�s chair, with a framed photograph in her hands at which she� been gazing.  Her eyes were red and it was pretty clear she�d been crying.  Wordlessly, Sam crossed the space between them, rounded the desk and placed the little girl in his sister�s arms.       

Sam was glad to have Sami by his side, and her words warmed his heart and soul, renewing his hope for the future and his faith in family.  Right now, the blonde hunter was more family to him than his blood siblings.  He still wasn�t sure though that it had been Lilith or goblin influence that ultimately led him to betray Rachel and Cas.  In his head, he really had rationalized the taking of the baby.   Lilith and that lumpy goblin out back of Wallis� Place had told him Rachel would die in childbirth.  Even considering the source, that piece of information had rung true.  Add to that the fact that the child was going to be a human-angel hybrid, an abomination to heaven and the angels.  Her life was in no way going to be normal, and she�d have a bull�s eye on her back, a target for retribution from both heaven and hell.  So why not hand her over to Lilith?  Lilith could protect her.  Yeah, she�d grow up evil, but maybe that was better than not growing up at all.

Sam shook those thoughts out of his head, because it was all water under the bridge.  The girl was dead.

Sami was pulling on his arm, saying something was going on.  So Sam put his beer down, uncurled his 6� 5� frame, and followed her down the ladder.  What he�d heard earlier could no longer be denied � it was a baby crying.  Sam took Sami�s hand and followed her through a maze of old appliances, wooden whiskey and beer crates, and other debris from Wallis� Place grown over with weeds and then into a young corn field.  This was spring corn, only 2-3 feet tall.  Still, it conjured images from horror flicks like Children of Corn and innumerable other films where people are pursued by monsters through 10-foot tall stalks grown closely together.  And the noise the monster makes as it slips through the corn stalks � the hiss of paper thin dry corn leaves rustling against coarse wolfen hair or leathery skin � that unrelenting noise growing louder as the beast gains ground on its hapless victim.  Yikes. 

But this corn was green and short.  No hissing, no pursuing monsters, and they could see for miles and miles to the horizon where the sun had declined to illuminate another part of planet Earth, and the red of the sunset was bleeding into a dark purple.  But that star or comet or alien spacecraft from Uranus was still out there, and brighter than ever.  And it was precisely in the direction of the baby�s incessant cries. 

And then there it was.  A baby bundled in rough cloth and lying amidst the corn, her little eyes squeezed shut and her tiny fists balled up and shadow boxing at some imagined assailant or maybe just at her predicament of being abandoned.  She � Sam knew somehow it was a she � was perfect and beautiful and�fortuitously opportune.  Sam looked around, perhaps to catch a fleeting glimpse of whom or what had left the child here for them to find.  Because there was no doubt they were destined to find the girl.  But of course, the stork had flown the coup.

�We have to take her to Rachel��          

It was icy cold inside Wallis� Place.  Not temperature-wise, but Sam was definitely out in the cold in terms of his friends and family.  They shunned him, and for good reasons.  Dean was especially withdrawn from him.  Maybe Sami would understand.  Sam had grown closer to his new friend over the last few months.  Its hard to make new friends on the road.  Hell, its hard to make new friends period.  But for a hunter, a vagabond whose mission is to kill, it was damned near impossible to make a connection.  But Sami had left the bar 20 or 25 minutes ago and hadn�t come back.  Sam felt alone, separated, estranged.  As long as he felt that way, he might as well be alone for real. 

So he slipped an unopened Genuine Draft into his coat pocket and grabbed the half empty one he was working on off the bar and headed for the door.  No one was about to stop him, in fact, no one even acknowledged that he was leaving.  Fine. Just fine.

The parking lot was empty but for the few cars they�d brought back from the battle with Lilith and the goblins.  The western sky was blood red as the sun methodically slid into the haze of that distant horizon.  But to the east it was deep blue up there, which turned to blue-black at the junction of sky and earth.  Crickets were beginning to warble and a warmth and more than a hint of moisture in the air portended the summer that would come all too soon.  Around to the side of the wooden structure that was Wallis� Place was a step ladder that Sam leaned against the wall and used to access the roof.  He was a bit unsteady after several too many beers, and he only had one hand to cling to the ladder because the other held a Genuine Draft, but he made it safely to the top and then walked onto the gently-sloped roof.  From this vantage point he had an excellent view of the sunset, which was beginning to wane over miles of gently swaying corn fields.  To the east were the lights of Kansas City.  Sam sat down on the roof and finished off the beer in his hand.  When he was done, he threw it off the roof, watching as it turned end over end heading for destruction.  He laughed because he felt a little like that bottle, like he was about to smash into a zillion pieces.  But he shrugged, slipped that other Genuine Draft out of his pocket and twisted the top off.

Oddly, there was a very prominent star burning brightly through the red of the sunset, defying the atmospheric haze and the light that was drowning out all other celestial orbs.  Sam raised a hand to shade his eyes and squinted for a better view.  It might be a jet coming in for a landing at KC International.  Or maybe it was a comet.  There�d been a lot of comets recently.  Hell, maybe it was an alien spacecraft from Uranus, carrying hordes of invading Uranustans with a penchant for probing the various human orifices.  Sam shrugged and went back to his beer. 

But off in the distance, barely heard, and maybe it wasn�t what Sam thought it was, but maybe it was, a hopeful sound reached Sam Winchester�s ears -  a cranky, shrill noise that up close can split your eardrums, but from a distance sounds like an announcement of unlikely life - defiant, insistent, and demanding.  Sam thought he heard a baby crying.        

Sam was working on his fifth Genuine Draft and he didn�t even have a buzz yet.  Alcohol was supposed to deaden the pain, at least for a while.  At this point, a while would be better than nothing, but Sam had been denied even that brief respite from his anguish regarding how this case had gone down.  In the end, they�d done away with the goblin horde and banished Lilith � which is exactly what they�d set out to do.  The goblins had been feeding on children, which is the way of goblins.  So they�d saved a lot of boys and girls from an horrendous fate.  But at what cost?  Ironically, while they were saving everyone else�s children, they had sacrificed the only Winchester child � Rachel�s unborn baby.  Or more precisely, Sam had made a decision that led to her death.  The fact that he had been under the influence of some spell or mind control didn�t make the outcome any better.  The fact that it was a knife in Cas� hand that actually took the girl�s life didn�t absolve Sam from blame.  It just made things worse.  If Sam hadn�t betrayed his family, Cas never would have been painted into that corner where the only way out was to kill his own daughter.  Protection of the Winchester extended family always comes first, so no matter what sort of influence Sam was under, he fucked up. 

Everyone else was in a funk as bad as the one Sam had sunk into.  No doubt people were thinking if they�d only seen the signs of Sam�s betrayal earlier, or maybe they could have called upon a higher power to exorcize the demon within the girl, or�whatever.  How did those sayings go?  If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.  If wishes were fishes, we�d all be casting nets.   And the girl wasn�t the only loss.  There was Dianna.  If Sami and Bobby were the brains of this operation, she�d been the beating heart, and that heart had been ripped out.  Sam glanced sidelong at Dean, who had fallen big time for the older Remington sister, which was unprecedented for his love �em and leave �em brother.  For Dean, the failures and loss during this case were two fold.  Would the Winchester Clan ever be the same?  Would any of them ever really trust Sam again?  Maybe this gig had played out.  Maybe it was time for Sam to hang it up, go back to Stanford and complete that degree.  Or he could strike out on his own, go solo.  Or even join up with some other hunters.  That�s what happens to rock �n roll bands.  Why not hunters? 

Sam used the church key opener to pop the top off another Miller GD in the apparently never-ending search for the perfect, mind-numbing buzz.     

The thing that had been lingering on every hunter�s mind in the bar was where do we go from here.  It was a question without a answer. The situation had affected everyone profoundly. Sara tried to keep busy serving the others drinks and getting things for them. She didn�t want to deal with it. It had been harder working on a case with others. There had been more at stake. She normally didn�t feel the loss like she did now. Nate had grabbed her arm as she had head behind the bar, but she didn�t want to talk about it. Instead she pulled away shaking her head. She had gone behind the bar to get a few more bottles of beer only to find the cooler empty. There were more in back.  Sara slammed her hands against the bar in frustration.  Nate tried again to reach her, but she brushed him off. �We�re out of Budweiser,� she began to head towards the storage area. Despite her efforts she couldn�t stop thinking about it.

This was the reason why hunters couldn�t have relationships. Their lives were full of loss.  She detoured past the cooler outside to get a breath of fresh air just in time to see leaving the bar towards the clinic. �Rachel,� she chased after her until she came up stand beside her. The pain and loss in the young woman�s eyes was immeasurable. It looked like Rachel had already given up.  She wanted to tell her that it wasn�t her fault. Or there was no other way, but nothing she could say would alleviate the youngest Winchester�s pain.  She hesitated searching for words.   �The reason we fight�..it�s for them, the people we�ve lost along the way, your daughter, my sister�..,� she brushed her hair back behind her ear. �So their death won�t be for nothing. It�s so that no one else will have to feel the pain we feel. To protect someone them from the fate our family and friends have endured,� she wasn�t sure the response Rachel would have to her remarks. All she really wanted to do was get the young woman to open up. �You know he had no choice. He couldn�t let the darkness take her,� she felt like she put her foot in her mouth. It couldn�t have been easy for Cas.

Inside the bar Bobby was already downing his sixth beer attempting to get blitzed. The old hunter didn�t want to feel anymore. He was a broken man having failed to protect his family. He knew the kind of pain Rachel was in. The type of grieving a parent felt for a child, because he had lost both the boys before. It was a sorrow he had never wanted her to know.  �I think you had enough,� Nate attempted to take a bottle from the senior hunter.  �Son I will tell you when I had enough,� he snatch the drink for the bartender�s hand chugging it.  He didn�t have any words for Cas as he came in the bar. Nate glanced up at him while he was wiping out a glass, �she left a few minutes ago.  I think she was head towards the clinic.� He pointed towards the door. �What did ya go and do that for?� Bobby looked up at him with disapproval for telling the angle how to find her.

There were moments in almost every battle when you want to give up.  It happens to everyone, all hunters, and probably any person who struggles to achieve a goal: Sliding backwards two steps for every hard fought step forward.   Watching as your opponent wins one battle after another and you lose ground no matter how hard you try.  They�d all been there, but that was the way of hunters.  Even if you lose, you made it just that much harder for the bad guys, and maybe you saved someone along the way.  Hunters make a difference, even when they lose. 

Rachel knew that.  Hell, they all knew that.  Its what has kept them going all these years.  So Dean was astonished when Rachel threw in the towel and said �I quit.�   As Dean watched her walk away he yearned to say something, but knew that whatever came out of his mouth would sound hollow, just something he blurted out to try to make her reconsider, to make her feel ok.  But Dean didn�t have the magic words for this situation.  Nothing was going to make it all better.  Never again would it be all better.  The best they could hope for is a numbness that would eventually take away some of the pain.  They say time heals all wounds.  That�s bullshit.  But sometimes its like Novocaine, dulling the misery a little.  So Dean let Rachel walk away without saying anything to her.  They�d all sleep on it and maybe he�d think of something brilliant to say to his sister in the meantime.  Maybe, or maybe not.

On the wings of an angel�Dean would have preferred the Impala.  In fact, they now had cars parked back at the scene of the crime that they�d have to retrieve, and soon, before they were implicated by the cops in the break ins and explosions.  Speaking of explosions, although it was miles away, everyone had heard the rumble, like distant thunder, that proved that Sami and her bomb bots had completed the job at the goblin tunnels.

Dean took a seat at the bar and popped open a brewsky.  They�d done it again.  Beat back the bad guys.  In fact, they�d exterminated that entire goblin cohort, and banished Lilith to wherever Lilith gets banished to.  Not a bad day�s work.  Although Dean knew all too well it was just one battle in a never-ending conflict.  Next time they might lose, and they were still a long ways from winning the war.

Dean glanced at Rachel as Cas suddenly disappeared, saying he needed to make things right.  Rachel was a mess, and it was just like Cas to leave when she needed him the most.  Yeah, they�d won the day, but the cost had been tremendous.  Dean glanced at Sam over his beer bottle.  He would never forgive his little brother for what he�d done, for the betrayal of Rachel and Cas.  It had gotten Dean�s only niece killed.  And it might be the only niece he�d ever have.   

Sami Remington walked triumphantly through the doors of Wallis� Place.  Dean raised his Budweiser bottle in a toast to her.  �A job well done, Sami.�  But Dean wasn�t ready to celebrate just yet.  He got off his bar stool and walked to where Rachel was sitting on the floor with her back to everyone else.  He took a seat there next to her and pulled his knees up to his chin, mimicking the sad, forlorn posture of his sister.  He reached out and stroked her blonde hair, �I�m so very sorry, sis.  Your daughter was going to be the best of us, something miraculous.  A daughter of Rachel Winchester could only be miraculous.�  They had experienced so much loss in their short lives.  Both of their parents, so many good friends, so many hunters.  For Dean, the losses just strengthened his resolve to fight another day and to maybe ultimately win the war, or die trying.  Dean fed his rage with the losses.  But he was pretty sure his sister didn�t respond to loss in that way.  And this blow came way to close to home.  A parent should never have to experience the death of a son or daughter.  And in this case, it was a daughter who never even had a chance to live.  Someday, somehow, Lilith would pay for this.  Dean put an arm around Rachel and held her as they both sat on the floor, facing the wall.

Dracora�s reassuring and strong touch, her silky, velvet voice, laced with confidence and compassion, was like a glass of cold lemonade on the hottest day of summer, or akin to filling a room with the most beautiful music ever composed after a lifetime of silence.  Dracora filled a place in Sam�s heart that had grown cold and dark since the bond between them had faded.  He almost felt ashamed that he hadn�t been using the powers entrusted to him by the Dragoon Queen.  But now here she was, telling him it was his turn to save the day.  She would tell him how to do it � the Moon Dragon, Starfire, he could control that expanding ball of massively destructive energy Lilith had left in her wake.

And then Dracora was gone, and with her departure Sam�s confidence in himself flatlined, �I can�t do this.  I don�t know what to do!�  The sparkly ball that had at first looked like children�s fireworks was taking on a different aspect altogether.  It was spinning and growing in size, giving off a high keening whine as it did.  The sparks it was throwing off were beginning to look like daggers.  And soon, if he didn�t do something, if he didn�t use the power Dracora had given him, those daggers would slice everyone to ribbons.  Great, the weight of the world again.  It was the bottom of the ninth inning with the bases loaded, two outs, and the count was three and two on the batter.  Sam was the catcher and that ball of energy was the baseball.  It would come across the plate soon, an unhittable combination changeup, curve ball, spitter, knuckleball that was going to be dancing like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.  All Sam had to do was catch it and the game was over, ladies and gentleman, they�d win. 

But this wasn�t a baseball game and that Moon Dragon claw at the end of his wrist wasn�t a big ole catcher�s mit.  Still, he had to do his best, everyone was counting on him.  So he held that clawed hand up and opened its taloned fingers, willing the ball of energy to come to him.  He wasn�t sure what he�d do with it if it did come to him, but somehow he knew this is what he was supposed to do.

And it did react.  The silvery shimmering ball of electricity faltered in its growth, turned blue for a moment, then began a slow trajectory toward�s Sam�s clawed hand, �That�s right, come home to papa.�  Shit!  It was working!  But what would happen when that thing was in his grasp?  It seemed likely it would incinerate him.  But maybe that was the way it supposed to go � fire and water - Lilith�s spawn and Sam Winchester would go up in a big puff of smoke and steam.  Yes, that was what was going to happen, he was pretty sure of it.  No matter though, he�d go out saving the world.  The way its supposed to be.  There�s no old folks homes for hunters.

So Sam focused his resolve and attention like a laser beam on the ball of energy, which was picking up speed now, coming at him like that knuckleball in the bottom of the ninth.  He took a deep breath, believing it to be his last, chanced a parting glance at Sami Remington and his friends and family, and then braced for impact and the end of his world.

The Moon Dragon claw caught the energy ball deftly and efficiently, and the talons closed around it.  Sam had seen ceramic dragons in motel gift shops that were holding a crystal ball in a claw.  That�s what it looked like to him.  Then that ball of Starfire filtered down his arm and into his body, where he knew it would burn him to ashes.  But it didn�t.  Instead, he was swallowing that energy.  It felt like swallowing a red hot bowling ball.  That Starfire burned like acid and he knew he couldn�t possibly ingest that thing, it would get stuck in his throat, burst his esophagus.  Sam screamed.

Sam�s consciousness swam upwards through the gloom towards the light like a skin diver who had stayed down a little too long.  When he reached the surface, he gasped dramatically and his eyes sprung open wide.  Gunfire was echoing around the rock chamber, assaulting his ears.  The recent past came rushing back. He�d had the crap knocked out of him by Lilith.  �Sami!�  She was by his side, concern dominating her lovely features.  Sam stumbled to his feet and took in what else was happening in the chamber.  To his dismay, the girl, Cas� and Rachel�s daughter, was crumpled onto the floor in a pool of her own blood.  Dangling from Cas� hand was a knife, blood dripping from the point to the floor.  Had the Angel killed his own daughter?  What the fuck had Sam missed? 

And�there was another woman, not completely corporeal, facing away from Sam.  He was able to look right through her to Lilith, who was backing away towards the wall and who, uncharacteristically appeared, well, not scared, but out of sorts, taken aback.  Maybe regrouping.  But the ghostly woman��Dianna� Sam mumbled.  He looked to Sami, �Is it really Dianna?�

Sam was just beginning to notice that the dragon scale imbedded under the skin of the back of his right hand was beginning itch.  He held it up to examine it.  The scale was beginning to glow with a soft, bluish light, Dragon light.  And in his head, he was feeling that connectedness that he hadn�t felt in months.  It was Dracora�