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Dr. Benjamin Thrace

10/11/2011 10: PM 

Personal Log, Doctor Benjamin Thrace, Stardate 62900.5

I think my stay at the Fleet Admiral's house is at an end.  I have come to realize that despite my feelings about her....for her, I cannot stay here.  I suppose it is my own fault, really.  I feel I have crossed the line, allowed my professionalism to be compromised.  I really thought that she was beginning to feel.......well something for me, but it seems all I arouse in her is anger and trepidity.  This is simply something that I am not used to.  I have never really been good at putting myself out there, at being close to someone, and for the first time in a long time I finally felt that I could be close to someone.  So many times we shared moments, great times with one another, but we whenever we seemed close to any kind of fundamental breakthrough, we would revert to arguing and criticizing eachother.  It has gotten to a point where I cannot see a need for us to continue to be in the same place anymore.  I know that she has been depending on my medical expertise to cure her current illness, and I will do just that.  My work will not be impeeded in any way, and I can continue my work from either my new home or at Starbase 231 where I still hold my position as lead researcher.  Perhaps a break from each other would be just what we both need in order to really achieve our respective jobs.   But it is more than just my want to continue my work unhindered that makes me seek this......separation.  I have never met a woman like her, so strong and yet so fragile.  She puts so much stock in her her job, how she is viewed, that sometimes her professional objectivity overshadows her personal one.  She has grown so accustomed to things being a certain way in her life that she cannot imagine a change, in which she may actually have come to depend on someone.  Not that I can blame her.  My own issues with relationships is probably more at fault, for I continue to hold back.  There is so much about me that she simply does not know, and yet I cannot seem to break that barrier in order to really connect to her, to let her in.  I want to, gods know I want to, but for some reason I cannot.  You know, if Rebecca were here she would say I was just being too pig-headed to open up, that I am allowing my past to influence too much of my future.   She messes me about in a way that I would never have imagined.  There are nights when I cannot seem to sleep without dreaming of her, or that my day is simply not complete without seeing her and that wonderful smile at least once.  But she seems to have thought other thoughts about me.  The last of my things are being moved as I make this entry, although I am leaving a fully stocked medical carrier for her personal use. There may be times when I am unable to get back to her to get her the medicine she needs, so in this manner she can make up the proper dosages.  I have shown her how to do it on several occasions, and I have left explicit instructions as well. I am confident she will acquit herself of this task well, but should she need my, personal touch, she knows how to reach me. I have just been informed that my final belongings have been transferred to my home in England.  I am now officially.....moved out.

Dr. Benjamin Thrace

10/11/2011 10: PM 

OOC: Something I was thinking about one night...

You know, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that what I battle everyday is loneliness.  I spend countless hours each day running about attempting to find things to occupy the hours, from work to group functions, to sports teams, and I as rapidly approach the day when I will lose one of those forever, I realize that loneliness is creeping up on me once again.  I don't think I am the only one.  It is quite possibly the one thing that we all have in common. We get older, we make friends, we have intimate relationships, and it is all so that in the end, we have someone with us during the good and bad times.  There are those people who say they are proud to be alone, and find many ways to justify this notion.  They find clever words to hide the loneliness, find ways to express a sense supposed sense of independence that are supposed to make those that have someone feel jealous.  I know, because I was one of these people.  I used to (and still do on occasion) make fun of my friends who were in these long and involved relationships, their constant battles, and their drama.  I always told them their relationships were far too much trouble then they were worth, and I was so glad that I depended on no one.   But then the other night, I awoke at about three a.m., and when I rolled over in my bed I was once again greeted by a wall.  There was no other person, no young woman that I was fervently in love with; no soft breathing to remind me that someone loved me back.  There was just a wall.  I stared at it for quite a while, the faint lines from the paint brush still quite evident in the moonlight.  It was in that moment that I realized how hollow those words of independence and self-reliance were, and how lonely I really was.  Sure, I have friends and a great family, people around me who would do anything for me and vice versa, but at three a.m., when I wanted nothing more than to hold someone and tell her I love her, I had a wall.   So, what is all this about?  You know, I am not sure. I am getting older, and while I know many would fervently remind me of how young I am and how much time I still have to find that one person that I am meant for, I cannot help but look at the way my life is now, take stock all that I have and all that I have experienced, and not recognize the possibility that I may end up, alone.  How can one even begin to prepare for a life like that?  Sure there are women around me that I talk to, that I am interested in, even one that knows of my feelings for her and returns them.  But as much as I care for her, and as much as I know that she wants to be with me, still I cannot shake the feelings of loneliness.  She is quite far away now, and we do not talk that often anymore.  I had expected this to happen, that as time passed that distance would be too great for us to conquer.  Perhaps it was that initial defeatist attitude that sabotaged any advancement for us, and once again it only serves to reinforce my thoughts of how I shall end up.   Of course, I can always lose myself in my friends.  I have a great many of them, and I am quite social.  I love meeting people, talking, interacting, and experiencing new things with them.  I have many friends now that are as close to me as any family member, and some I have known for so long they are practically family.  Will they be there, all of my life, ready to stand by me and help me whenever I need them?  Of course they are.  We have forged relationships that could never be challenged or broken, and for that I am grateful.  And I have met new people who, while months ago our relationship started as nothing more than a simple diversion to help me ease a little college stress, who now I cannot wait to talk to each night.  It's great, meeting new people and experiencing all this with them, and I look forward to each new minute.   But at the end of every night, at the end of every dinner, every conversation, I return to my wall.  It is solid, it is bare, it is beige, and it reminds me every night that I am alone.  I fall asleep, wake up, and again am greeted by this wall.  For the longest time I knew I hated that wall, but I could never figure out why.  It has done nothing more than shield me from the outside elements, warm me when I was at my coldest, and provide me with a place to think and reflect. But the hate came on anyway, and it is only now that I am realizing that the wall is not my problem.....the loneliness is.

Dr. Benjamin Thrace

10/11/2011 10: PM 

Medical Officer's Log, Stardate 62818.6

My continued research into the disease that plagues Fleet Admiral Janeway does not go well.  While I have isolated the illness, I have yet to determine its cause or a way to cure it with any definition.  While I cannot name specifically what it is she suffers from, it can best be described as a type of white blood cell overload.  All the white blood cells of her body seem to be in a state of hyperdrive, their production level way above normal.  At a first glance, one would think this increase indicative of a bacterial or parasitic infection, but at this point I believe there to be more to it than that.  I believe, that after the initial infection, the bacteriophage responsible for that inital stage may have altered the nuclear DNA of her WBC's sending them to this hyperactive state.  Normally they would have returned to baseline levels, but this disease seems to thrive in the mass numbers.  There are a few things that concern me: One is her eosinophil count.  Eosinophils are responsible for responding in the event of a parasitic invasion, so they would naturally be the first ones infected.  This of course would explain their high numbers, but now the percentage of Eosinophils in her blood have risen to dangerous levels, and I cannot stop it.  The average human eosinophil count is about five percent, but hers is currently fourteen percent.  This high percentage is troublesome, simply for the fact that upon degranulation of eosinophils, they release an array of cytotoxic cationic proteins that damage the surrounding tissues.  Too many of these could lead to her death.  Another thing that bothers me is her NK or Natural Killer cell count.  These cells are normally the regulators, making sure to control cell production by killing the cell before it becomes a problem.  Unfortunately, I can find no NK cells in the Admiral's body, and this lack of cells is extremely troubling.  Somehow, I must find a way to stimulate NK cell production without continuing to stimulate the production of her other WBC's, and I must isolate the bacteriophage or parasite responsible for the original infection or else my work would be for nothing.

Dr. Benjamin Thrace

10/11/2011 10: PM 

Medical Officer's Log, Stardate 57921.4

Recently I have begun research into the mysterious illnes that currently plagues Fleet Admiral Kathryn Janeway.  I became acquatined with her ailment only a few weeks previous and the following log entries will document my attempts to save her life. The patient's inital symptoms are: joint and muscle pain, lack of apetite, fatigue, sensitivity to light and touch, and an increasing sensitivity to heat.  As far as can be determined at this point, no physical representations of advanced disease have occured (hair loss, tumors, leisons, sores, etc...) but as the patient is now absent it is hard to acertain if these manifestations have not begun. Before the patient left, I was able to obtain several blood samples from the Admiral, and though they are now several weeks old, they still provide the best information.  I am convinced that the answers to all this lie in the blood, and I am attempting a full histiological workup at this time.  I can only hope that the disease does not mutate or rapidly increase in productivity while the Admiral is gone, and that the cure I develop for her will still be viable. Preliminary testing shows that the Admiral's leucocyte production is quite low, with Eosinophils and basophils showing the least in production in her body. Her neutrophilic count however, is alarmingly high, and I can only hope this is not the end result of some anastomosing tumor that has now branched to her lymphatic and endocrine system.  Systemic linkage on this magnitude could lead to a more severe form of disase that would be near impossible to treat.  Wherever the Admiral is, I hope she takes good care of herself.  At last report, she was using B-12 vitamin injections to supplement her energy loss, but the virility of the disease has probably made this stop gap measure futile by now.  My first series of tests should be completed in the morning, and I shall make a full report of findings after the analysis.

Fleet Admiral Janeway

10/11/2011 04: PM 

General Orders and the Omega Directive

General OrdersGeneral Order #1 (PRIME DIRECTIVE)As the right of each sentient being to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Starfleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes: introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Starfleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ships, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation. General Order #2 No Starfleet personnel shall unnecessarily use force, either collectively or individually, against members of the United Federation of Planets, their duly authorized representatives, spokespersons, or designated leaders, or members of any sentient non-member race, for any reason whatsoever. General Order #3 The sovereignty of each Federation members being respected in all things, Starfleet personnel shall observe any and all statutes, laws, ordinances, and rules of governance currently in effect within the jurisdiction of a member planet. Violators of such ordinances will be subject to such punishments or corrections as shall be determined by local governmental bodies. General Order #4 If contact is made with hitherto undiscovered intelligent life forms, under no circumstances shall Starfleet personnel, either by word or deed, inform said life forms that worlds other than their own exists outside the confines of their own space. General Order #5 In cases of extreme emergency, Federation special representatives are empowered to assume emergency powers to deal with a condition or circumstance that is deemed hazardous to the welfare of Federation citizenry. Within the scope of these emergency powers, duly authorized civilian personnel may assume temporary command of Starfleet vessels and/or personnel to deal with the emergency. Starfleet personnel must submit to their authority for the duration of the crisis. General Order #6 The request for emergency assistance from Federation citizenry demands unconditional priority from Starfleet personnel. Such personnel shall immediately respond to said request, postponing all other activities. General Order #7 No Starfleet vessel shall visit the planet Talos IV under any circumstances, emergency or otherwise. This order supersedes General Order 6. Any transgression of this general order shall be punishable by death. General Order #8 Upon sighting a warship within Federation space and identifying it as belonging to a foreign power, the commander of the Starfleet vessel shall determine the reason(s) for that craft's presence in the vicinity. If there is conclusive evidence that the vessel has a hostile intention, the Federation vessel may take appropriate action to safeguard the lives and property of Federation members. In such cases, the commander may use his discretion in deciding whether to use force to disable the hostile vessel. However, care should be taken to avoid unnecessary loss of sentient life. General Order #9 No commander of a Starfleet vessel, military or auxiliary, may grant political asylum to any individual without first being given express permission to do so by a representative of the Federation government. General Order #10 If there exists eyewitness testimony by senior officers or similar verifiable evidence that an individual has violated the Prime Directive, said individual may be relieved of duty by a duly sworn representative of the Federation government and placed under immediate arrest. The governmental representative shall then take such action as he deems necessary to minimize the results of the violation. General Order #11 Starfleet officers with the rank of captain or higher are granted full authority to negotiate conditions of agreement and/or treaties with legal representatives of non-Federation planets. In such circumstances, the acting officer carries de factor powers of a Federation special ambassador. Any and all agreements arranged in this manner are subject to approval by the Commander in Chief of Starfleet Command and the Secretary of Starfleet. General Order #12 Federation officers may violate Neutral Zone areas as designated by treaty only if such action is required to save the lives of Federation citizens under conditions of extreme emergency. General Order #13 Except when orders state to the contrary, Starfleet personnel will respect the territorial integrity of independent planetary systems and governments, and will not violate territorial space belonging to such worlds. General Order #14 Starfleet personnel may intervene in local planetary affairs to restore general order and to secure the lives and property of Federation citizens only upon receiving a direct order to do so from a civilian official with the title of governor or higher. General Order #15 No officer of flag rank may travel into a potentially hazardous area without suitable armed escort. General Order #16 Starfleet personnel may extend technological, medical, or other scientific assistance to a member of a previously unrecognized sentient species only if such assistance in no way compromises the Prime Directive of the security of the Federation or Starfleet. General Order #17 Starfleet vessel captains are to consider the lives of their crew members as sacred. In any potentially hostile situation, the captain will place the lives of his crew above the fate of his ship. General Order #18 Upon being accused of treason against the Federation, Starfleet personnel may demand a trial conducted by the Federation judiciary. If the individual is acquitted, Starfleet Command shall have no further legal recourse against the accused in said manner. General Order #19 Except in times of declared emergency, Starfleet personnel may under no circumstances convey personnel or material between planets or planetary systems when there is reason to believe that said personnel or material may be used to conduct aggression. This order applies to independent worlds within the Federation as well as to Federation members. General Order #20 Officers and personnel of Starfleet Command may employ whatever means necessary to prevent the possession, transportation, sale, or commercial exchange of sentient beings being held against their wishes within the boundaries of Federation space. General Order #21 No Starfleet personnel, either officer or enlisted, may offer his services to an independent foreign government without the express authorization of the Federation Assembly. General Order #22 As the rights of individual expression and free discourse are considered sacred, Starfleet personnel may debate the policies and decisions of their governmental representatives privately at any time, to the extent that such discussions do not violate their command oath or specific duties to the Federation per these General Orders or Starfleet regulations. General Order #23 When verifiable proof is presented to the senior commanding officer of a Starfleet vessel or post that a Federation representative may currently be acting or has acted in the past to violate the Prime Directive, the officer may relieve said representative of office, and then assume the full powers of that office pending a full investigation by government officials. General Order #24 If a commanding officer deems that an individual or group of individuals pose a threat to Starfleet personnel or Federation civilians, he may take any action deemed necessary (including the use of force) to secure the safety of those threatened. General Order #25 Civilian and military personnel taken into custody by Starfleet personnel during times of extreme emergency shall be accorded proper treatment consistent with rank or station, insofar as such treatment does not compromise the security of the Federation or Starfleet. General Order #26 No member of a ship's complement or other ground-based installation can be held directly accountable for the actions of their superiors. Similarly, no member of a ship's company or other Starfleet personnel will share in disciplinary measures taken against the commanding officer(s) if said individuals were not directly involved in the actions leading to disciplinary measures. This order extends to conditions involving proven violations of the Prime Directive; where proof of such violations exist. General Order #27 No member of Starfleet shall be required by the assignment of standard duties and responsibilities to undergo extended separation from his family if family members can be reasonably provided for aboard ship or as a part of an existing Starfleet installation. General Order #28 No officer of command rank shall be removed from command status unless such action has the complete and unqualified agreement of at least three senior officers present. Whenever possible, such officers shall include the ship's First Officer, Chief Medical Officer, Counselor, and one junior officer of command station. General Order #29 The primary responsibility of the commander of any Starfleet vessel or installation is the welfare and safety of his crew, including any civilian members. No action may be taken that creates an unwarranted threat to the safety of those individuals under the officer's charge, except in the line of duty and when otherwise unavoidable. General Order #30 Starfleet Command recognizes the right of each ship commander to interpret the specifications of the Prime Directive as he sees fit, consistent with the conditions of other existing general orders in effect, and based upon circumstances that may arise in dealing with newly discovered sentient races. General Order #31 The conditions and specifications of the Prime Directive shall henceforth apply to all sentient life forms discovered, whether they are of natural or artificial origin. General Order #32Except in the case of an extreme emergency, no Starfleet commander is authorized to order his ship to travel faster than Warp Factor Five without express permission from Starfleet Command. The Omega Directive Briefing The Omega Directive was created to deal with a threat not only to the Federation, but to the entire Alpha Quadrant; and indeed the whole Galaxy. Starfleet named the hazard the Omega molecule/particle phenomenon. It was first synthesized over 100 years ago (during the mid-22nd century) by a Starfleet physicist named Ketteract. The molecule created was the most powerful substance known to exist. A single Omega molecule contains the same energy as a warp core. It has been suggested that in theory, a small chain could sustain a civilization. It is not known whether Ketteract was searching for an inexhaustible power source, or a weapon. He created a single molecule particle of Omega, which lasted for only a fraction of a second before it destabilized. His work was done on a classified research center in the Lantaru Sector. Ketteract and 126 of the Federation's leading scientists were lost in the accident. Rescue teams attempting to reach the site, discovered an unexpected secondary effect. There were subspace ruptures extending out several light years. To this day, it is impossible to create a stable warp field in that sector. It can only be traversed under sublight power. This is the danger of the Omega molecule. Omega destroys subspace. A chain reaction could devastate subspace throughout the quadrant. Space-faring civilization would no longer exist, and many lives would be lost in space. When Starfleet learned of this impending danger, it suppressed all knowledge of the Omega phenomenon. Only Starfleet Captains and Federation Flag Officers may view this document· Article 1 Starfleet Captains and Federation Flag Officers must ensure the safety of the quadrant from the Omega threat. To this end, whenever sensors positively determine the presence of Omega in a ship's vicinity it will enter "Omega Protocol." Doing so locks all navigation, sensor, tactical and propulsion systems. Only the ship's Captain, or a Federation Flag Officer can release the Omega lockout. Access to sensor data retrieved on the Omega effect is limited to Clearance Level 10. When Omega has been verified, the ship's captain will contact Starfleet Command immediately. No information may be relayed to the ship's crew. All other priorities are rescinded until the threat is neutralized. The prime directive may be compromised during such a mission, if necessary. Blatant abuse of this power will be prosecuted to the fullest extent using all other Starfleet Directives. If violation of the prime directive is even minimally anticipated, it is authorized and advised. If Starfleet Command cannot be contacted for any reason, the primary priority is the destruction of all Omega molecules detected. There will be no computer record of the sensor logs, and Captain's/Captains' Personal Logs must be either encrypted or deleted.Article 2If Starfleet cannot be contacted the Captain may share information of the Omega Molecule. Only the senior officers of the ship and/or Starbase may help in the destruction of the dangerous molecule.

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